Collide
by Kefe
Summary: Bella Swan is a prostitute working under Aro, she does it to get money for her family who is suffering. One night changes when a young rich gentleman comes to pick her up and sleeps with her...would her world still be the same? Or would it change?
1. When two worlds Collide

**Um, so yeah this was my first venture into writing fic so yeah, it might be horrible. As I had never really written something like this before. Anyway, hope you enjoy.**

**COLLIDE**

**We were never meant to be, we just happened…**

**Bella**

It was a cold September evening; the brown leaves were blowing with the cold wind as they spread across to cover the ground. The clouds had turned to a dark blue and the sun had gone into hiding as the night began encroaching Forks. This was the worst part of the day, when twilight began to reach its maximum peak. The drunken men started approaching the roads hoping to meet a mistress who would warm their beds. I loathed this part of the day, why couldn't the sun just stay till the next day? It didn't have to hide for the moon to come out. I wrapped my jacket tightly around my skinny body so the cold won't allow the goosebumps crawl on my skin.

"Ladies, are you ready to bring me money?" Aro laughed as he examined each and every one of us to check if we were ready.

"Great! Another night, I can't wait to get out of this hellhole," Jessica whispered as she crushed a small rock with the heel of her shoe.

Everyone wanted to flee this shithole after all who wanted to be a prostitute forever? But none of us where in any shape to do that considering we didn't really have any way to make our money. It was something that had brought us to this forsaken place. Aro had been kind enough to offer help to us and we were grateful but the truth was that it wasn't enough.

"I'm going to find a fucking husband tonight!" Heidi squealed with delight as she lit her cigarette and passed it down to Jessica.

"You say that every fucking day Heidi," I rolled my eyes and collected the cigarette from Jessica and took a pull. _That felt really good!_ I thought to myself as I inhaled the smoke and felt it spread through me.

"Yes, but today is different. I have hope," she continued as she pulled a small lipstick from her purse and applied it to her pink lips.

"You have hope everyday Heidi!" I snapped, as irritation crept over me and fell my head back to pack my brown hair blowing with the wind.

"It isn't bad to have hope, people have dreams and someday it will come true just like other people's dreams come true." Heidi spat angrily.

"Yeah, like Jess here who has hopes that she will become an actress? We don't see that happening." I mocked.

"Thanks Bella," Jessica frowned as she took another drag from the cigarette.

"Even if you do find a husband, there is no way Aro would let you go and you know that."

"If I pay him, he would let me go," Heidi continued.

"No he won't,"

"Yes he will, you don't have to be so cynical all the time! Everyone isn't like you," she stomped off angrily to the other girls who stood on the left side of the building.

"Bella, why can't you resign from being a bitch all the time?" Angela hopped into the conversation as she watched Heidi's retreating from.

"I just want her to accept reality and stop living in all those fantasies she dreams about, life is much harder and she should be prepared." I smiled. "Now here are our customers," I watched as a black 650i BMW stopped right in front of us.

"Hey sweethearts, which one wants to be my bitch for tonight?" A dark-haired drunken guy popped his head out of the passenger seat window with a bottle of wine in his left hand.

I grimaced with disgust as Angela entered the car. All these jerks should at least pay some respect to the woman who would give them pleasure. Ugh! "Bye bitches, bring me some money tonight!" Angela exclaimed as they drove off.

I leaned back into the wall and began to shiver as a light breeze blew across my face. I reached into my pocket to fish for more cigarettes as a silver Volvo stopped in front of me and Jessica.

"Hey sir," Jessica said, her lips curving into a smile as she approached the Volvo.

"Hey, who is your friend?" A seductive voice asked as Jessica's face fell.

"Oh, her name is Bella," she turned to glance at me briefly before returning her gaze to the gentleman.

"Could you ask her to come over?" he asked politely as she blushed and turned over to me.

"Yeah, he wants you." She said as her eyes fumed with jealously.

I couldn't help but smile at her before turning to the young gentleman who requested for me. "Yes?" I asked as he opened the front door of the car.

"Are you gonna enter?" He asked impatiently as if he was trying to get away from something.

I hopped into the Volvo and continued to smoke my cigarette as he turned the radio on. A familiar song filled through the car as I tried to remember what it was. I pushed back into the sit and closed my eyes as I recognized the song to be _Sweet thing _by Van Morrison.

"So you listen to Van Morrison?" I asked as I turned my head to look at the young gentleman driving the car for the first time. He was…handsome. He wore a grey shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He had bronze messy hair that kept entering his eyes, with a very structured squared jaw and set of cheek bones. His hands looked soft, like he didn't work much using his hands.

"Yes," he turned to look at me for brief seconds before turning back to the road. I immediately felt my heart beat faster as I looked at his green eyes.

I decided that I wasn't going to talk since I couldn't make any coherent discussion and went back to smoking my cigarette. The silence drowned us until we reached the hotel. It was the most expensive fucking hotel in Forks and no customer had ever brought me here. In fact, only a few girls from the brothel had been here, Tasha and some other girls. I had heard stories of how beautiful it was but it was nothing compared to what my imagination had cooked up. I stepped down from the Volvo and clenched my jacket tighter as the cold enveloped me. He slid a hand over my waste and I immediately felt a jolt of electricity pass through me at the sudden touch.

"I'm sorry," he smiled politely and we walked into the hotel.

"Hello Mr. Cullen, should I give you the keys to the suite now?" the concierge at the desk smiled flirtingly as she saw us approaching.

"Yes please." He answered.

So he was a regular here…hmm…

He was even more handsome in the light; he was lean and a little bit muscular. He didn't have a six pack or anything as I turned my gaze to his torso but he was perfectly fit.

"Here you go, if there is anything you need, you can call me." She placed the keys in his hand and I swear I saw her wink at him. I felt insulted considering the fact that she didn't acknowledge my presence but then prostitutes were just shadows.

We rode in the elevator in silence as I got overwhelmed at the fact that I was finally in this hotel, which I would probably have never dreamed off. I was happy that Jessica would die of envy when I relayed the details to her in the morning. We finally got into the room and it was heaven. I bit the inside of my cheeks so as not to show my excitement before he would think I was a young child who could not satisfy his needs.

"Do you need to prepare?" he ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly as he placed the keys on the glass table.

"Uhh…" I stuttered, as I felt my knees shake when I met his eyes. I really didn't know why I was having this feeling towards him. It was those damn piercing green eyes!

"You can go into the shower and join me when you're ready," he said when he felt that I won't be capable of answering.

I walked slowly towards the bathroom and took a second to gaze at the shower and the bathtub, contemplating which one to use. I finally made up my mind and entered the shower. I let the hot water shower over my body and release the tense feeling I had. I decided I wanted to wash my hair as well, who knew when I would be able to use an expensive shampoo on it again? The hair needed this reward, at least before I returned to the hell hole. My mind wandered to Mr. Cullen as a heat of trepidation crept over me. What if he saw how lean I was and didn't want me? I didn't even know why I thought about this considering that I really didn't take into deliberation what my customers thought of me. If they didn't like what they saw, well then they could as well go to hell. I stopped the shower, cleaned my hair and went into the bedroom.

The bed was five times bigger than the one I had and I was sure it was softer too. I stood for a few minutes at the door as I assessed him lying on the bed. His eyes were closed and his hands were at the back of his head. He looked like he was in deep in thought and I hated to interrupt it but I had to do my job. I moved over to him and lay beside him.

"Mr. Cullen," I called in a soft voice which pulled him out of his reverie.

"I'm sorry," he turned over to his side to face me.

He loosened the knot that tied my towel together and removed it. His hands moved slowly from my chin down to my stomach and as his hands trailed they left goosebumps on the places he touched. His fingers came up to my lips and I pulled at it with my tongue and bit his forefinger softly which caused him to moan. I decided to take off his clothes since he took off my towel while kissing his nape. His huge soft hands enveloped my small slender body and he pulled me on top of him. After removing his clothes, I took his lips into mine desperately as a fire of lust drove through me. He began to kiss me hungrily while his hands ran up and down my thighs. I elicited a moan as he took one of my nipples in between his teeth and sucked on it gently. His left hand drove down and brushed my clit and I gasped at the touch. He used his two fingers and drove them in and out of me as our breaths hitched together.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed and leaned back into the soft mattress as my mind swamped with ecstasy.

My hands began working their way to his dick and when I finally got him, I brought it in my palm and began rubbing it roughly. He hissed and bent his head back as I guided it toward my clit.

"Are you fucking ready?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

I just nodded as I gazed into his eyes as he drove into me. I didn't look away from him as he entered in and out of me as we both started sweating at the incredible friction. My hands dug into his hair as he dropped his head into my neck. I had never had sex with any of my customers like this before. Most of them usually just wanted me to service them and they didn't even treat me with respect. But he treated me with respect. We were reaching climax now and we both knew it. When it finally came, we both fell back and relaxed into the bed. I thanked God that I was on the pill; the last thing Aro wanted was for his girls to be pregnant. I smiled in contentment hoping that he had enjoyed it even though it was short. He seemed too tired to continue and I didn't want to push it. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *


	2. Reality is a Bitch

**BELLA**

"I'll be home soon Alice, you don't need to worry about me, I'm fine." I woke up to a velvet voice which seemed to be engaged in a conversation over the phone. "Mum doesn't need to worry, I'm at a hotel and when I'm done, I'll be home. I love you too, bye!"

I groaned as I opened my eyes to the blinding sunlight coming from the window of the room. So much for daylight being the best part of the day!

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," he smiled sweetly as he poured a bottle of wine into a glass cup sitting on the stool beside him.

"Oh no! It's okay. I have to get up early anyway and be back before Aro sends the cops looking for me," I returned the smile and scooted out of bed with the sheets laced around my body.

"When do you have to be…" he hesitated and then continued swallowing, "By the place?" he finished as he took a sip of the wine.

"Normally as soon as I get up, not too late,"

"Okay, take a shower, eat and meet me in the lobby as soon as you're done. I have to make it home early too." He turned to face the newspapers that were piled up on the table.

Disappointment surged through my veins and I quickly changed my facial expression before I passed him into the bathroom. I couldn't explain why I was feeling like this and to be truthful this was quite pathetic. He probably had a girlfriend or a wife and felt he needed more; they all did so he decided to come and get it from prostitutes. And this was what I was, a prostitute. I could never be more for anybody. I wasn't even enough for my parents and that was why I resulted to this lifestyle. At least someone wanted me in some way and I was getting the money I needed. I stayed in the shower and drowned myself in my thoughts for a while before getting ready.

After thirty minutes of completely enjoying the hotel room and the lovely breakfast, I finally decided to let it go and closed the room door. I stopped when I saw him a black suit, looking all handsome, organized and sexy. My stomach growled at the sight and I rolled my eyes at how pathetic I was being again. He looked so formal except for his disheveled bronze hair which made everything about him appear informal.

"Thanks for the room Carol, I'll see you later." He collected the golden credit card and placed it in his pocket.

***

"Thank you for a wonderful evening," he gave me a crooked sexy smile that made my heart almost blow out of my chest. _Alright quit it Bella, you can hold yourself_, I thought to myself. "Here you go," he placed a white envelope into my hands and I took that as a cue to leave.

"What's your name?" he asked as I stopped my hands on the door.

"Isabella Swan, but you can call me, Bella" I answered and waited for him to tell me his but he didn't so I asked. "What's yours?"

"I'm Edward Cullen, but please call me Mr. Cullen," he said austerely as I felt the blood rush out of my face and winced at the formality of his tone.

I opened the door and leapt out of the car promptly and walked in to the big building. It was about 12pm and the halls were flooded with girls carrying cleaning utensils to clean their rooms considering it was Saturday. I walked inconspicuously straight into my room hoping not to crash into anyone that would make me discuss my activities of the night and how much I had made. This was halted immediately when Jessica yelled out my name.

"Oh look, Bella is back," she gave a devilish grin and followed me into my room with a group of girls behind her. "So Bella Swan got one of the Cullens yesterday night, I'm not sure which one she took," she informed as a spark of jealously colored her blue eyes.

"I really don't know what you're talking about," I lied through clenched teeth and placed my envelope into the small cupboard.

"Oh please don't give me that fucking bullshit!" she continued. "I knew it was him when I went to the door," she folded her arms over her chest as the other girls sat on the bed.

"Bella Swan got a fucking Cullen?" Heidi squealed with anticipation as she opened the door with a wide bang.

"Which one did you get?" Victoria, who was quiet, suddenly pitched into the gossip.

"Edward Cullen," I blushed and hung my jacket in the wardrobe trying anxiously not to meet their death glares.

"I see…" Heidi trailed off. "Well, Aro has been expecting you since; I think you should go in and see him now."

"She hasn't told us how it was, Edward Cullen has never come to this brothel before and we are the most successive so that means he has never gone to any brothel before!" Jessica complained.

"Well she has to go see Aro first before she relates anymore details to us," Angela added as she gave me a warm sympathetic smile. I really hated that all the attention was on me.

"Fine," Jessica walked out of the room.

"Come on girls, it's time to go do work!" Heidi called out sending the girls to their various rooms for their chores.

I was thankful to have friends like Angela and Heidi even though sometimes Heidi and I had our bitchy moments, my roommate and I just couldn't live without having a fight. But it was good to know that when I needed to escape trouble, she would be there to offer help. I walked fretfully to Aro's office hoping that my request to visit my mother at the hospital would be granted. I hadn't seen her for two weeks because I had been working my ass off for the hospital bill. I started hoping he wouldn't prolong it like he did previously with some bullshit excuse. I quietly opened the door to find him facing the opposite side of the room with his feet resting on the side of the window with a cigarette in his hand.

"Isabella Swan," he called out but still hadn't changed from his position.

"Aro," I greeted as I stood awkwardly picking my sleeves nervously. I really couldn't take any shitty excuse today.

"So rumor has it; that you carried a Cullen yesterday, nice catch." He finally turned to face me with a smile flirting at the corner of his lips.

This was Aro. Money was his life, if one wasn't successful achieving it, then one would be out of his business. Last week he had driven out three of his girls because they weren't bringing profit and they were leeching off of him as he had put it. Aro's motto was "_If something isn't adding something valuable to your life, get rid of it"_. This motto followed him throughout his life.

"So how much did we make off that catch?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked at it yet," I answered, clenching the white envelope Edward had given me.

He motioned for me to move forward and collected it from my hands. His eyes lay on me as he shook the envelope to feel the weight and then finally opened it. There was a long pause as he counted the money and then placed it back neatly into the envelope. "Well there are many fishes for sure," he puffed out rings of smoke towards the ceiling. "$5000,"

My eyes opened wider in bewilderment and if possible would have blown out of my eye socket at the mention of the money. I covered my mouth to hide my excitement. "Wow!" I finally managed to blurt out after a minute.

"So baby doll, how is it gonna go?" He poured some scotch into his whiskey glass and took a shot.

"Well, Aro, I have to go see my mother…" I started and waited for his response.

"Yes, you've earned it. You can go today and come back tomorrow or Monday."

"Okay and you know I need money for her health so fifty-percent would be a little too much for you to take," I bit my lip nervously and looked down.

"Isabella," he said in a mild tone that made me flinch. He always tried to annoy me by calling me my full name. Aro had a very annoying personality. Whenever he wanted to do something evil, he would put up a smile. In fact he smiled for everything even when he was betraying you. I believed that he had an antisocial disorder and that's why whenever he did something malevolent, he'd never apologize for it because he didn't feel the need to. There was no sense of guilt or conscience so why would he apologize when he felt he had done nothing wrong? I had prayed that he would feel empathy for me and let me visit my mother.

He seemed to be contemplating on what to do and then he looked at me, smiling. "Money is hard to come by, Isabella," I drew in slow breaths as my heart pounded like as if I was writing an exam. This was Aro's second phase. This was the part where he would make a prolonging discussion and beat around the bush before he finally made his decision. "These girls don't seem to be making it big you know. I really want to provide a good whorehouse for you girls but how can I when there is no money in circulation?" He raised an eyebrow and shook his glass of scotch.

_Damn it! Just make your fucking decision!_ My thoughts shrieked inside of me as the impatience drove its way down my spine. What was my fucking business if money wasn't in fucking circulation?

"Now, Isabella, sharing helps people. You know what God says about sharing with your sisters and brothers."

_Here we bloody go again_. "Not at the expense of my mum," I harrumphed.

He started drumming his fingers on the table while keeping an eye on me carefully. "Okay Isabella, I will try and be good to you. I will take thirty-percent but you will make up for the other twenty-percent," he finally gave up.

"Fine, we have a deal."

He split the money, placed my share back in the envelope and handed it to me with a smile. I returned his smile and walked out of the room. My heart filled with happiness at the fact that I would be seeing my mother in a few hours as I headed to my room.

***

I arrived at the hospital in the evening and sat beside my mother's side. She was asleep peacefully and the only noise that seemed to engulf the room was the noise of the drip and her soft snore. She looked so peaceful that I was afraid that she was dead. I brushed a light kiss on her forehead and went back to reading my novel, Redeeming Love.

"Miss Swan, can I see you for a moment?" The doctor called out of the room after a few minutes.

"Hey," I smiled as I gently closed the door trying my best not to wake my mother up.

"Hope you're doing fine today, would you follow me to my office?"

"Yes of course," I answered as I began walking towards his office.

"How is work and everything at the brothel?" he asked again as we reached his office and sat down.

"Everything is fine, Dr. Laurent could you tell me what's going on cause I know something is wrong." I said in an apprehensive tone.

"Well, you know your mother has atherosclerosis,"

"Yes we covered that,"

"It's getting worse, the small and medium arteries are hardening at a very high rate and it has gotten to the stage where there are clots forming inside artery lumen. If these clots shrink, stenosis would occur and there would be an insufficient blood supply to the tissue or organs associated with that artery---"

"Wait, wait!! What the fuck is stenosis? Please break it down to my level of understanding" I threw my hands in exasperation as the hot tears welled up my eyes.

"Okay, stenosis is basically the narrowing of the artery and if this happens," he sighed. "What I'm saying here is that if one of the arteries affected is linked to the brain, she can have a stroke."

"And she can die?" the question almost came as a whisper as I held my mouth. I hated myself for even thinking of something like this.

"Yes, we need to do a surgery just to find how much damage that has been caused and see if we can fix it." He removed his stethoscope hanging from his neck and brought his two hands together.

"How much is the surgery gonna take?" I whimpered.

"Well, the insurance will cover fifty thousand dollars but you have to come up with the remaining fifty."

"Could you do it as fast as possible? I would look for a way to get the money soon." I bit my lip as I could feel the tears about to spring out any minute from now.

"We can try, Miss Swan." He said compassionately as I sprung out of his office.

I didn't stop until I reached outside the building. I felt choked, like I was going to die. My heart seemed too heavy for me and I broke down on the floor as the tears crawled out of my eyes in full force. I wanted to scream and yell, but I couldn't. All I could do was feel the insides of my body killing me slowly. Maybe if I had figured out sooner, maybe she would have been able to get better treatment. But the doctor had said it was asymptomatic and it had started since adolescence; there was no way I would have been able to know that. I clutched my stomach as I could feel the pain creep over me. I tried to succumb to the numbness that I was longing for, unfortunately, it didn't come. All I could feel was pain. Why was this happening to me? What had I done wrong? She was the only family I had. Charlie had moved to Phoenix when I was seven and he didn't even look back. If she died, my entire world would be gone, I would die too. I plunged deeper into the ground as I begged whoever was out there to take me instead. She had truly done nothing wrong to deserve this.

It was astounding how freezing it was outside and yet I couldn't feel a thing because all the pain had swallowed everything up. There was no space left for the cold to shroud over. After what felt like hours of sitting on the cold ground and people asking me if I was okay, I picked up a cigarette and lit it. I had cried my eyes out that I was sure were red and so I continued to stare at the moon that washed over forks.

I ostracized everything about the night. The day had to end so quickly and everything had gone into hiding. That was how I saw life, the night was creeping slowly into mine and there was nothing I could do about it. _Even if I tried, would it ever be enough?_ I pondered to myself as I squashed the burning cigarette under my feet and walked back into the hospital.

"Hello mum," I tried to fake a pleasant smile so she wouldn't worry.

"Hey pumpkin," she smiled and then her forehead creased with worry. _So much for faking_, I thought to myself. "You haven't been smoking again have you?"

"Just a little, it helps to relax my nerves. I've been getting fucking stressed lately." I moved closer to her and placed my hands over hers.

"You should stop it. I know being a personal assistant can be a hassle but it's not enough for you to smoke," she reprimanded.

I smiled at her ignorance and my lies. I had lied to her that I was a personal assistant to a very rich man so she wouldn't have to worry about where all the money was coming from. Besides if I had told her I was a fucking whore working for the most famous brothel owner, Aro. She would have had a heart attack and died on the spot, I couldn't be responsible for that.

"And stop cussing too! It's a bad habit, I told you before" she continued. This was Renee, always scolding and correcting everything. Sometimes I was glad that the illness wasn't entirely draining her characteristics.

"Yes ma'am, now would you stop worrying about me?" I asked politely.

"You're growing more beautiful by the day dear," she complimented, taking a lock of my brown hair and twirling it with her fingers. "One day, a man is going to sweep you off your feet."

I rolled my eyes at her fairytale dreams; Forks really did have a lot of dreamers. _Was I the only realist in this dead town?_

"You know I love you right?" she looked up at me through her eyebrows.

"Yes and I love you too," I nodded.

"You should stop worrying so much, you'll get old." She teased and I smiled in response.

"I will try when you get better."

I spent Sunday and Monday at the hospital and decided to retire to the Volturi whorehouse on Monday evening. It was the same as usual, girls making noise everywhere and others bitching about who stole the other person's customer. I grimaced at the thought of having to live here for the rest of my life. Surely, Aro would let us go someday. He didn't own us forever.

"Look who's back," Heidi jumped in delight as she landed into me with a huge hug that made me slump into the wall.

"Somebody missed me,"

"Yeah, how's your mum?" she asked with concern.

"She's fine," I shrugged; I really didn't want to get into another Bella Emotional Breakdown Stage.

"Ouh guess who's been looking for you." her eyes lit up with excitement.

"The doorman? Aro? Jessica?" I spilled, not really caring.

"No silly! Edward Cullen," she giggled like a little school girl and smacked me.

I immediately froze at the sound of his name. What the fuck did he want from me now? He must have thought that the five thousand dollars was a mistake. "What did he want?" I narrowed by eyes.

"I don't know but he was really disappointed that you weren't around. He specifically asked for _you_. Jessica offered to go home with him but he refused," she sat down Indian style opposite me on her bed.

"Strange…" I trailed off trying to think of reasons why he would want me _specifically_.

"What is strange about it? You must have serviced him well for him to ask for you again. You know we only get some regulars here. Edward Cullen isn't naturally a regular."

"Yeah I know but he didn't seem interested that night,"

"Why would you say so?" she quirked a brow.

"I don't know, he didn't really ask me for my name until he dropped me off here and when I asked for his, he said I should call him Mr. Cullen." I recalled the tautness of his tone and cringed.

"Maybe he doesn't like 'Edward' hence why the formal name calling. Or maybe he likes to be in control and the name fits it." She laughed.

"Maybe," I shrugged.

_Who the hell cares anyway?_

"You should have seen Jessica throwing herself all over him like a desperate fool."

"Yeah, that's Jess for you,"

The rest of the day crept slowly with boredom and redundancy. The weekdays were really hard to get clients taking into consideration that it was a working day and this usually left us almost lackadaisical. When things like these happened, we would all gather in the living room in the evening and play games or end up part taking in mindless gossip about all the men who had wives and came to the brothel to seek for whores. This was supported with bottles of alcohol and packets of cigarettes. Sometimes those who had regulars would come and some girls would have to vacate the premises but they were usually a few. While the rest would gather around and either play poker, scrabble, monopoly or just normal cards.

"I heard a new girl is entering the Volturi household tomorrow. Her name is Leah; she is coming from La Push. I heard Aro talking about her." Claire said as she crushed the burning end of her cigarette in the glass bowl.

"Great! Fresh meat should be fun!" Irina clapped as she took another shot of tequila and looked at her cards.

"Demetri would be bringing her in," Claire continued as she dropped her spade onto the pile of cards.

"As Aro removes some, he replaces them," I said watching them play.

"Well I hope he'll remove me soon, I am getting tired of here," Angela placed her spade on top of Claire's own.

"Don't worry, Angie, we would find our dear husbands and they would take us out of here in chariots," Heidi continued and played her turn.

I rolled my eyes and decided to shut it about the 'husband' thing this time. There was really no point to be contemptuous now.

"One of the Cullens is going to be married soon, so I hear. I think its Emmett; he's marrying a chick named Rosalie or so." Claire butted in again.

How Claire managed to get her gist, no one knew. But we all entertained it because she was like the CNN of the brothel and let's face it; CNN was always right about their news.

"It's a pity, what a waste. That could have been me," Lauren joined in the conversation as she played her cards.

This is what I had to put up with everyday. I couldn't even consider what was worse, sleeping with random men or listening to whores gossip. I sighed and bit my lip at the thought.

"Well, I have my eyes on a special someone," Jessica grinned. "Edward Fucking Cullen won't know what fucking hit him yet,"

"Dear, he is taken, Bella has him wrapped already," Heidi defended as she tried to conceal her ferocity for Jessica.

"Well, she doesn't seem like she wants him and if she doesn't know how to hold him. I would show her how it's done and take him to a level that would erase all his past experiences," she smirked.

The whole room turned silent and faced me, clearly to see how I would respond to that. "Bitches I don't know why you'd be talking about me like I ain't fucking here. Anyways, he decides to choose who he wants and if it's me, then poor Jess, I am sorry but you would just have to stick with dreams of acting," I said warmly with a devilish grin pointing at Jessica.

"Before I forget, Bella, you're singing on Wednesday be prepared," Victoria informed as she dropped all her cards on the table and gave up.

Wednesday nights were karaoke nights. The brothel would turn to a club in which the girls either stripped for the men who were available or performed music. Before Aro picked his girls, he examined them to ensure they had talents. Either, they had a hot kick ass body like Heidi, or various ways to plot a plan like Victoria. Or they were smart in conning men like Lauren. Or could play the guitar and piano, and sing like me. I didn't consider myself sexy or anything, I wasn't really voluptuous but most people thought I was beautiful. I really didn't think so. One thing for sure was that I was a badass at singing. I had anxiety issues on stage though but that's why I only performed for a small crowd and it was on Wednesdays, when men hardly came in. Also, I made money from it, so it was perfect. Jessica had a talent too, for acting. That's why she wanted to be an actress; she could get away from anything just by pulling a stunt.

"Alright ladies, I'm out. I got to sleep; I had a rough day today," I stood up and glanced at Lauren's card before passing. "Heidi, she has three blacks," I smiled.

"Thanks B," Heidi laughed, as she dropped her cards and wanted to claim full house.

"You asshole! Ugh! I can't play anything with you guys, you cheat!" Lauren said as I quickly ran out of the room into the hallway and closed my door.

* * *

A/N: Sorry guys, first time using fanfiction so I had a problem uploading this chapter. I just want to thank everyone who reviewed and put my story as a favorite. I wasn't planning on updating soon but you guys made me do it! Lol… I'm grateful. The next chapter would be EPOV! Hope you enjoy this one and I will try and update soon!


	3. It's just Lust

**A/N: Thanks darlings for the reviews, I am entirely grateful. I will keep giving you updates! **

**Edward**

I thought it would get better if I just slept with her and removed this feeling from my chest. I thought I would be able to erase any sexual fantasies I had had of her since the first day I had spotted her walking into the brothel as I drove by. I thought this anxiety would fucking disappear if I just spent a night with her and flushed her immediately out of my system. I thought I wouldn't ache with pain at the thought of not touching her or holding her. I thought my dreams of her would be completely discarded or at least repressed into my unconsciousness. Instead, it all became worse; completely worse. My fantasies increased, the need to feel her under me increased, the need to see her again increased. Everything was just completely worse and I didn't know what to do about it. _Edward get a fucking grip on yourself_, I leaned into my bed.

I really fucking tried as much as possible to get rid of her but nothing was working. When I was with her, I tried to make less conversation in case she happened to have an awesome personality that would send me into an overdrive of wanting to be with her. The fact that she was able to recognize Van Morrison playing on my car sound system was already a plus side on her personality part. _Great Edward continue contributing reasons to see her again, _I groaned and pushed myself further back into the bed. I had been so disappointed when I went the next day to look for her. They had informed me that she had taken the weekend of to visit her mom. Disappointment wasn't even close to what I felt, when I think about it now. But that wasn't the only thing that had happened; another girl named Jessica kept on forcing herself on me which I found to be quite sordid. I pushed that thought away and continue to think about Bella. _Okay stop being a wuss and get your ass out of bed,_ I spoke to myself mentally and pushed myself off the bed.

Today was going to be a long day at the Cullen mansion. Emmett had just announced to the family and possibly the whole of Forks that he was getting married to Rosalie Hale. It won't be long before the rest of Carlisle's friends came for the wedding and trust me Carlisle had a lot of _friends_ who were all over the world. It would be good to see some familiar faces that we hadn't seen in a while but then the news would be the most popular news in Forks right now and I didn't find comfort in attention. Rosalie would find enjoy that though, I'm sure she already felt special that a huge crowd was going to be present for her wedding, she liked the attention ever since she was a child. We had all grown up together, Rosalie and her brother; Jasper, Emmett, Alice and I with some of my family friends; Tanya and Kate who were part of the Denali clan.

The reason why this particular wedding was a huge deal was the fact that Emmett was the first son of the Cullens and Carlisle, being the loving father that he is, had to show his joy for his son by arranging this wedding and making a big fuss about it. But the truth is we all knew Emmett would marry Rosalie, who else could stand her vanity except for Emmett? He had always adored her since childhood and thought she was a gift on earth. So when the news was announced that they were engaged it wasn't startling.

Now that their first son was engaged, my parents had been trying their best to pair me with someone. They were a little concerned that I was the odd one out being the fact that Emmett was with Rosalie and Jasper was with Alice. When I was a child, I was always paired with Tanya and it wasn't astonishing that it would be carried out to my adulthood. This was only going to get worse because she was arriving from Paris today along with Jasper and Rosalie. My mother, Esme, had had a discussion with me on the topic of Tanya's visit. She wanted me to show interest considering the fact that she was still single and searching. I had tried to abandon the topic but she just kept on fucking pushing it.

"_I am not saying anything is wrong with you Edward, you're 24 and you still have your life ahead of you. Emmett is finally settling down and it would do you good if you found a girl who could be your girlfriend."_ She had said in a light tone.

"_But I don't want to fucking settle down mum!"_ I had tried to argue.

"_And I'm not saying you should. We don't want you to get married. But sleeping around with various girls is not healthy. It taints your profile and a girlfriend who can make you focus would be good. You know committing isn't a hard thing for you to do. Emmett and your younger sister Alice are both in respectable relationships. I just want what's best for you."_ She finished with a light pat on my shoulders on her way out of my room.

I really couldn't understand it though, the need to stay _committed_. What was wrong with being alone? I sure as hell enjoyed it. Most of these women were just interested in me because of the money and high profile I kept, so really there was no point. I didn't go to brothels though, to sleep with the women. We usually just dated for a week and when I was tired, I'd shut it off. Of course Carlisle and Esme never got to find out, Esme would have been disappointed and she would have given the _"mother"_ speech if she ever knew what her _precious _son was doing. Only Emmett and Alice knew and let's say Rosalie and Jasper too. I took the Hales as my family too. Jasper was pretty much a cool brother to me even though he wasn't blood related and I took Rosalie as my sister even though I found her a tad bit annoying.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing?" I heard a high pitched feminine voice from the back of my room door.

"Having some _me_ time, Alice, leave me the fuck alone!" I sighed in frustration as I glanced at my wardrobe hoping to find something to wear.

"I would if Mum would stop calling me; she has been calling for the past twenty minutes asking where we are. Sometimes I hate being the only girl in the family; she always picks on me for this kinda stuff." She complained.

"I would be there soon," I finally picked a black shirt.

"Hurry up! I can't wait to see Rose." Her voice faded as I heard her footsteps descend down the stairs.

Carlisle had wanted some privacy for himself and his wife so he had built us a house of our own. When Emmett finally got his first job, he moved out to another apartment because of Rosalie who couldn't stand the amount of girls I brought home even though she also wanted her own privacy too. So Alice and I were the only ones left and she didn't mind my company as long as I didn't distract Jasper.

"Alice I'm ready to go," I called from the back door as I grabbed the keys to the Volvo.

"I'm here," she replied back walking straight to car and settling down in the passenger seat. "I have no idea why it took you this long to get ready,"

"Cause you spent an hour making up and I decided that until you were ready or close to being ready, I won't get ready," I started the car and drove out of the garage.

"I can't believe Emmett's finally getting married, it seems so long ago when we were kids and said we'd all get married. It's just so cute that he stuck with it." She twirled one of her pixie curls in her finger.

"I know, I really did think he would get tired of Rosalie. I seriously don't know how he manages to cope and deal with her. Maybe she threatened him or something. I mean how does someone stand her? I would have to go to school to just understand how she can be so vain." I teased.

"Oh Edward! Please don't start your teasing games with her during dinner. Mother wouldn't be able to stand it. You know she really gets frustrated with that kind of stuff. But it's weird though, I mean don't you find it strange that we are all still close as we were? And Tanya is coming, and you know how you two were back in the days. Still planning on walking her down the aisle?"

"Gee, Alice, I don't know. I haven't like seen her in a while. Sure she has been sending letters to us. But I really don't pay attention to them. I can't even believe that mum wants us to hook up. Besides I'm really not interested."

"Is there someone else that you have in mind?" her eyes sparked with interest.

I paused and thought of that for a while. Only one name came across my mind, Bella. I really wanted to get to know her and breach the mask that she put around herself; this might be a perfect way. Conversely, I wasn't in the mood for another Edward Dating 101 Conversation. So I'd have to pass this one.

"Edward?" She called, staring at me with eyes burning with curiosity. Alice was too inquisitive and most of the time her intuitions were always right. But there was no way I was relaying this information now or anytime soon. Besides, I wasn't necessarily interested in Bella. I had a lustful desire for her but it wasn't anything close to intimacy. It wasn't even that serious and she probably didn't even take me seriously.

"Nope, I don't have anyone in mind. You know I'm really not up for that right now. I don't want to be sucked in like you and Emmett." I grinned.

She continued staring at me trying to decipher the look on my face, but I was really good at putting a mask on so there was no way she was getting anything. She finally fell back to her seat further with dissatisfaction.

After forty minutes of being stuck in hold up and Alice rambling about some gratuitous things, we finally reached my parents house. Alice flew inside the house with excitement before I could even finish locking the door. _She was sure missing Jasper,_ I thought as I made my way into the living room to find the rest of the family.

"Edward darling," Esme pulled me into a tight embrace as I shifted her from me to examine her. "Hope you're eating well. I don't know why you can't capture your brother's eating habits. He is so huge and you are so lean. I wouldn't mind if you decide to eat the whole house you know" she pinched the bridge of my nose as I rolled my eyes.

"Yes Edward, you need to eat! There is no point on watching your weight. You're not a girl you know, and girls won't mind if you eat." Emmett's boisterous laughter filled the room.

"Hello Em, I see you haven't given up your job as a sardonic individual," I replied. Emmett and I sure had a way of getting along.

"Alright! You boys better not start this again. Behave yourselves, we are not alone" Esme said in a firm voice with a pointing finger.

"Hello Edward, remember me," Tanya sashayed toward my direction with a warm smile.

She had grown into a beautiful woman. She wore a form fitting black pencil skirt emphasizing on her hips with a white blouse that had three of its frontal buttons opened to display some cleavage. Her blonde hair cascaded on her broad shoulders while her blue eyes stayed on me as she licked her bottom lips.

I couldn't be more bored. "Of course I remember you, Tanya. How's everything?" I managed to ask while wearing my happy face.

"Just got better," she giggled as she leaned into me pressing her breasts on my chest and gliding her hips into my sides. _I guess this was what could be described as a hug_.

"Oh my God!" I heard girl squeals followed by some screaming as I realized that Alice must have seen Rosalie by now.

"You look so beautiful Rose! Is this Chanel?" Alice continued in a high screeched voice which probably sounded like music to Jasper's ears. _Where the hell was Jasper anyway?_

"Yes, I got it while I went to Paris to pick up Tanya; of course I used that as an excuse to shop. I got you some fabulous things too." Rosalie answered, she did look gorgeous too but then this was an _everyday_ affair, no need to get excited. "Edward, I see you're doing fine." She spared me a glance while I nodded.

"My love," Jasper walked in, snatching Alice from Rosalie and giving her a kiss on her hands in an old gentleman style.

"I missed you so much; I can't believe you left to go to Paris without me. I was stuck here with Edward for three weeks, you have no idea what that means," she pouted her lips while slinging her arms all over his shoulders.

I moved past them to the study where Carlisle was doing some paperwork for the hospital, I assumed. I knocked gently before I entered. He was sitting behind his desk with a lamp beside him elaborating his blonde hair. "Good evening father,"

"Edward, you're finally here. We thought you were either lost on the way or captured by some bears," he laughed sarcastically as he placed his eye glasses on the desk.

"Very typical of me I guess," I smiled.

"I'm sorry to barge in on the father and son time but dinner is ready," Esme walked in as we both turned our heads to see her.

The dining table was crammed with a set of plates, glass cups and cutleries accompanied with bowls of food and a large tray of turkey in the middle. I took a seat beside Esme who happened to convince Tanya to sit by my other side. Everyone settled down and we all said a quick prayer before we started eating. It was quiet for a while until Rosalie decided to make another proclamation.

"I have decided to make Alice, my best friend, my maid of honor," she blurted out and they all turned to face Alice.

"Wow! Rosalie, I am so excited you have no idea and I'm truly honored." She jumped wildly with elation in her seat.

I couldn't understand why she was _that _excited, she ought to have seen this coming anyway. I stiffened as a wave of realization hit me when I remembered that Tanya was sitting by my side and she too, must have been expecting to be the maid of honor. The same thought must have crossed Rosalie's mind because she began apologizing immediately. Tanya just shrugged it off and said she was completely okay with it while giving me some flirtatious smiles.

"You know, Edward, you could show Tanya the rest of Forks. It has been so long since she came here and a small tour could help refresh _the memories_," Esme took a fork out of her turkey as I cringed.

"Yes you should Edward; it would do you some good." Carlisle added looking at me closely.

"Sure," I responded and decided to focus on finishing the dinner. The faster I ate, the faster I could get out of here.

Dinner dragged on with some unnecessary conversations. When dinner was finally over, I was about to take my leave when Tanya stopped me as she slid her hands to rest on my waist. "You know, you have sure grown up to be a handsome man,"

"And you have turned out to be a very beautiful woman,"

"We could make a beautiful couple," she smirked while I turned my gaze to the tiled floor. "So I was thinking that I could come and stay with you during this wedding period, we could catch up on old times my dear husband," I cringed at the use of the former nickname she had given me.

"Let me think about it, I have so much work to do at the office and Emmett isn't really helping because of the wedding arrangements." I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Well let me know soon, it's really not polite to keep a lady waiting," she giggled while running her hands through the edges of my ironed black sleeve.

"Goodnight mother, it was a lovely meal." I moved toward her and gave her a kiss on the cheeks.

"Tanya wouldn't be following you tonight?" She asked as her face fell with disappointment.

"I would call Tanya when I'm ready," I leaned closer to whisper in her ears, "Don't push it," I walked past her and hugged my father on my way out.

I was grateful that Alice had decided to drive home with Jasper because I had been contemplating on stopping by the brothel to check for Bella. I despised the place with a passion and I couldn't understand why she was there in the first place. Most girls who were associated with that place had their names being spoiled all over Forks. Emmett had gone there once before. He had enjoyed the experience and it was kept a secret so as not to upset Rosalie. Alice didn't even know about it.

I pulled over beside the entrance of the building. None of the girls were standing outside today and I guessed it was because today was a week day. I had no idea what I was doing here, I had work tomorrow. I stood outside and started pondering whether I should go in there. I finally sucked it in and walked into the building trying to be unnoticed. It was precarious to be caught at this area, if Carlisle heard about it, he would be mad.

"Hey, I'm looking for Bella Swan," I asked the lady at the front desk with a name tag that said _Gianna_.

"Give me a moment sir," she gave me a smile before returning into the hallway to look for Bella.

After fifteen minutes of waiting and getting nervous about whether or not she was around or if she even wanted to see me, she showed up at the doorway of the reception.

"Hello Mr. Cullen?" she asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow and playing with the sleeves of her sweater.

"Would you escort me home tonight?" I looked into her face meticulously as a wave of emotions came on to it before she finally settled with a plain uninterested look.

"I'll be right out." She turned her back and disappeared into the hallway. I decided to be determined to explore Bella Swan and know her story tonight.

***

"Is there any package you want tonight?" she sat down on the bed still dazed by the room.

"Package?" I shot her a curious glance before placing my jacket inside the wardrobe.

"Well, Aro set a recent rule that if a customer becomes a regular, the girl associated with that regular should grant any wishes he may ask for," she started swinging her legs back and forth.

"I see," I winced at the name _regular_, was that what I had become now? "Well, how about you tell me a little about yourself?"

She quickly darted her eyes to me in distress and then finally managed to speak after a while, "Well I don't have much to say, what you see is basically what you get. Besides you really want to waste money on listening to me talk when we could do be doing something else?" she seemed to be getting uncomfortable.

"Fine, let's do it this way. Since you would feel guilt on your path that I'm paying you for just _talking_, how about you talk while we…" I trailed off looking for a pleasant way to say fucking and failing to come up with anything.

I walked up to her and zipped her sweater before pulling it off her body, she stiffened as my fingers came in contact with her bare skin. I knelt down, spread her legs for me to place myself in between them and took off her shoes. She seemed to be staring at me in bewilderment and I rolled my eyes back and started my teasing with her feet. I picked up her left leg which was so smooth and silk, probably rubbed with a special cream that had the smell of strawberries and started kissing it. It tasted good and even better than it smelled. I started trailing kisses slowly starting with her toes and then moving upwards.

"You have to start talking Miss Swan and do finish before I get to the top," I flashed her a crooked smile and that seemed to make her breathing accelerate.

"I…uh…um…" she stuttered, biting her lower lip and trying to make coherent words as I continued to kiss her softly. "My name is Bella Swan."

"Tell me something I don't know," I made my way down her thigh and she gasped.

This was even better than the sexual fantasies I had been dreaming of since the day I slept with her. I decided to change course and shifted to the left leg. "If I'm distracting you Miss Swan, do let me know," I winked and that seemed to make her tense more. "Or ill stop if this isn't productive." My tongue swept against her right thigh causing her to moan as my hands caressed the other leg roughly.

"Fuck! Okay, I curse a lot. I smoke. I'm really a very boring person" I laughed at the last bit. "I finished high school but never went to College cause I couldn't." she managed to blurt out in ragged breaths and I continued trailing my kisses upwards until my tongue found her belly button and I pulled it with my teeth. I was contemplating on whether to give her pleasure with my tongue on her clit but decided tonight wouldn't be the night. There was no way I could wait that long for me to be inside her. I was already burning with desire for my lips to find hers. "Um, my father is in Phoenix, I think he married another woman called Elizabeth but I could care less," she continued as she closed her eyes to savor the moment. My head came in between her soft breasts and I could feel her heart drumming out of her chest. I used my two hands to envelope her soft body while removing her black lace bra and grazed her left nipple with my tongue. At that moment, she groaned and plunged her hands into my hair which, if it was possible, made me harder than I felt before I started. "Edward," was all she could croak, her voice deserting as she struggled for control. I complimented myself mentally at the pleasure I was giving her.

"Yes," I looked up into her brown eyes burning with intensity and pure lust.

"You're fucking _driving _me crazy" she hissed and I made a battle with my mind on whether to just cut the teasing and head straight for her lips.

"Good" I answered and decided that I was almost there no point in just rushing in now. My tongue continued tracing over her skin and she writhed in delight to the response. The trail to her lips almost seemed to take forever. I finally worked my way to her shoulders tracing erotic patterns on it as I made my way to the top.

This was finally it, the moment we both had been waiting for, well the second moment we both had been waiting for. I hadn't even realized that she had stopped talking. In one fluid moment, I devoured her lips into my burning mouth in a hard and demanding kiss. My hands swept over her skin with a heated caress and she pressed herself closer into my body. Our tongues glided together in a deep fiery passion that almost knocked both of us on the floor. Her hands started removing the buttons of my shirt in alacrity and I pushed us closer to the head of the bed in order to avoid us falling. I started stroking her soft skin while she squirmed under me in glee. My mouth was fierce on hers while my hands tried exploring every inch of her shivering body. She decided to return the favor and run her hands over my chest and down to the buckle of my pants. I groaned as her hands came in contact with my hard dick and she smiled at the response. She continued shoving my pants down my legs until it finally came off and slipped to the floor. We were both burning with desire to be inside each other now and I didn't hesitate to thrust into her. She threw her head back in ecstasy as I pulled in and out of her, my room filling with her screams and moans of pleasure.

I watched her as she was about to reach her final peak, the flames of burning desire began to engulf her and her breath became harder on my mouth as we glided to the rhythm of our bodies. We both fell to each of the sides in bed, our heads swimming with pleasure before settling into exhaustion.

It started at 6:30am, I had gone to take a shower and prepare for work after an exhausting night when I came into the bedroom and found her quivering in pain. I stood for a few minutes trying to decipher what exactly was going on with her and why she was in so much pain. Then the shouting started.

"No no no!!! Mum you can't leave me. I won't be able to cope without you," she had screamed with tears running down her eyes. It took me a second to realize that she was dreaming and I immediately rushed to her side. My hands shook with fear as I tried to wake her up.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I said helplessly in a loud voice as I shook her shuddering form. "Wake up, it's just a dream." I continued in a calming voice hoping she would wake up from her nightmares.

"I am so sorry," she cried as she clung to me while my hands ran smoothly on her forehead.

"It's okay, it was just a dream," I rocked her gently as her tears slowly turned to sobs after some minutes.

I rocked her body for a bit before she turned to me.

"Oh my, I'll make you get to work late." She looked at me apologetically.

"It's okay, I'm the boss anyways." I smiled at her, sweeping her hair behind her ear. "Are you sure you can go back today? Maybe you should stay for one more night. I will pay you." I tried not to sound too desperate. I really hadn't finished listening to her story.

She seemed to ponder about it for a moment before she continued. "I didn't inform Aro, even though he wouldn't mind but I have to go. I have to perform tomorrow night."

"Perform?" I asked with a puzzled look.

"I sing at the brothel on Wednesdays," she explained shyly.

"At least stay until I come back from work and I could drop you off."

I was really pathetic, begging her to stay with me.

"Okay," she said with a grin while trying to straighten my blue shirt. "I will,"

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**Okay guys! There you go…just a look into Edward's life. Bear with me, I'm still trying to get passed the introduction, the drama would be coming soon once my mind cooks it up. I spent two nights writing this so bless me with your awesome reviews! I hope you like it though. Bites her nails nervously. **

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	4. Something deep inside

**A/N: Guys, guys guys, what would I do without your lovely reviews? Nothing definitely, thank you all so much. You guys inspire me to write more, you have no idea. Well here it is; your reviews make Alice and I squeal in high pitched voices. **

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**Bella**

I woke up with a lazy yawn and sighed as I stretched my thin limbs on the soft comfort of the mattress underneath me. _I could get used to this_, I thought to myself and then realization slapped me, _actually I shouldn't get used to this._ Edward had been such a gentleman since he picked me up last night. I was really shocked when Gianna came shouting my name down the hallway saying Mr. Cullen was looking for me. I was equally mortified that he had come to take back the money he gave me and was feeling guilty that I had already sent it to the doctor. Though the drive to his house had been quiet, he didn't seem as formal as he was the last time.

When he had asked me to discuss about myself, I became instantly nervous because I had kept my personal life a secret. But he had ended it with an amazing night that was definitely going to enter my book of fantasies as soon as I got one. Damn! I was getting soft and vulnerable and most of all feeble. He had treated me like a princess and satisfied all my sexual needs but I felt like I hadn't pleased him enough. Then again maybe he treated all the women he had slept with similar to what he did yesterday night. But he asked me to stay tonight, that means he valued my presence in some sort, right? Or maybe he was just concerned about my well being and didn't want to return me half damaged. Fuck! I was over thinking this and this was purely insane, we had only been with together for a few days, there was no need to feel whatever I was feeling.

I shuddered as my mind wandered back to what had happened in the wee hours of the morning. That was completely embarrassing; whimpering and crying like a weakling in his arms but I couldn't control it. I raked my hair with my hands and sank lower into bed with the thought. Those fucking freaking dreams, they never gave up did they? I had them within intervals since the day I found out my mother was ill. They usually involved her death in different ways. It was either she was falling off a cliff, or getting hit by a truck, or getting poisoned or her stabbing herself, the list just went on. I was always pleading with her that I couldn't live without her but she usually just gave up and either jumped off the cliff, walked in front of a speeding truck or someone stabbed her. Whatever the situation recommended of her to do, she'd do it. It was like the fucking world was against me in those dreams. I hadn't discussed it with anyone even though Heidi caught me on few occasions in that catatonic form. I usually just shrugged it off and told her it was nothing and she would drop it because that's how well she understood me. If I felt the need to talk about something, I would inform her but the need never really came. The need never came for anyone else either. My problems were my problems and no one else's. Nobody even knew the reason why my mum was in the hospital, they all just thought she was very sick, which was the truth anyway. If they couldn't help, no need to involve them.

I groggily pushed myself out of the bed and decided to lay it before heading downstairs to look for something to eat. After straightening the brown colored sheets, I wore Edward's shirt that he had brought out for me and climbed slowly downstairs hoping not to wake anyone up. Edward had explained that he was living with his sister just in case I needed anything. The house was huge, at least for the normal size of a house in Forks. It was decorated with intricate designs and a lot of paintings hung over the walls. Each section of the house had a specific color and design to make it stand out uniquely. I peered into different rooms hoping to find the kitchen. The living room was decorated with white leather couches and glass tables with a forty-two inch Samsung television in the front of the room. A black rug was placed at the center of the room while the rest of the floor was bare with naked white tiles. I noticed that there were two living rooms, considering I saw one upstairs when I came in last night. _What the hell would they be doing with two living rooms?_ I passed the room and walked straight into another room which I assumed was the kitchen; it was decorated in red, white and black. The cupboards were red and white, the tiles were white; the same ones as the one in the living room downstairs and the kitchen accessories were mostly black. It looked like a classy kitchen that was filled with plenty appliances, microwave, deep fryer, electric kettles, dishwasher, an LG black fridge, a touch screen cooker and plenty other things that I could only gasp over. Everything looked luxurious. I guessed they didn't do much house work around here. I walked straight into the fridge and was amazed by how much food, drinks and fruits, they had. The fridge was fully stocked enough to serve ten people, there were so much to eat that I had to think of what to cook.

Finally, I decided to make a special stew my mother used to make before she got admitted. I started assembling the tomatoes, eggs, beef, onions, chicken and fish to one side of the kitchen counter neatly. I was even afraid to cook in the kitchen and mess up how spotless it was. I started chopping the tomatoes and onions and placed them into the blender. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten this sauce and I suddenly became nervous that it was going to turn out horrible.

"Edward? You're such a darling, you have no idea how--" a young lady wearing a silk white laced night gown stood in the door way with a puzzled look on her face and her short pixie hair standing in different directions. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realized that Edward had brought someone home," she smiled ruefully.

"It's okay," I returned her smile and went straight to frying the eggs.

"So what are you cooking?" she asked as she hoisted herself up on one of the kitchen stools behind the counter.

"I'm making stew, you want some?"

"Yeah sure, forgive my manners, my name is Alice."

"And I'm Bella" I started blending the chopped tomatoes, onion and pepper.

"So you cook; that's a plus," she smiled kicking her feet in the air as I poured the blended items into the pot with frying oil and started stirring.

"Yes, _that's a plus?_" I asked taken aback by her last statement.

"Well, you're dating Edward right?" she asked, raising her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

I took a moment in order to coordinate the words _I am just fucking him_ in a pleasant tone and ended up failing, so I answered with a simple "No".

"Oh I see," I thought I saw a flicker of disappointment cross her face but then it completely disappeared. "Well, that's a first. He usually doesn't allow _them _to stay while he's away. He normally gets rid of them immediately as he's going to work. He doesn't even allow them wear his _shirt_." Her eyes darted to my body covered in the blue shirt.

So he was a man whore, good thing to know we had something in common. I wondered how many women he had slept with and if he was sleeping with any as I was with him. Then again, it wasn't my business, geez, why was I getting bothered? I continued to stir the sauce as I placed the chicken broth into the pot.

"So what do you do?" she asked pouring the hot steaming coffee straight into a black mug.

I didn't want to lie because she was surely going to find out sooner or later. The Volturi girls were very popular in town and there wasn't any secret about them. I decided to avoid the question and pretend I didn't hear her.

She seemed to understand and just continued talking. "I go to fashion school, I'm supposed to go to class today but it got canceled which was so great because we had this huge dinner yesterday. I was so sad when Jasper had to leave on an errand." She rambled.

I never heard anyone talk so much in my life. I wasn't even sure if what I heard was what she had said.

"That's great!" I tried to sound as enthusiastic as she was with my reply. I really didn't want to come out as a snob but it was really hard making a conversation with someone I had never met before.

"You don't talk much do you?" she asked, eyeing me and taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"Not really, I'm sorry," I shot her an apologetic glance before placing the stew on the plate with the rice that had boiled earlier on. I served the two plates with the rice, stew, fried chicken and egg. "Here you go," I slid one of the plates towards her direction.

"This is so good," she complimented as she tasted the hot stew. "Wow! I have seen someone who can cook better than Edward," she smiled, taking another spoon of the rice and stew.

"Thanks," I blushed as I poured a jar of orange juice into a glass cup.

We ate in silence for about five minutes as my eyes drifted to the paintings that hung around the dining table. They were so intense and artistically beautiful; each one was different and unique in its own way like every other thing in this house.

"The paintings are really something aren't they? Jasper painted them, he is my boyfriend." She announced proudly.

"He's really good," I turned my eyes back to the paintings.

"Yeah he is; he is so talented. He paints, he plays the guitar and he's in a band."

"That's a lot. I always wanted a guitar but never really had the time to get one," _or the money either_. There was no point in telling her that anyway, it wasn't like I was going to be seeing her again or at least for a long stretch of time.

"I decorated the house that's why it's so colorful. Emmett and Edward had a problem with it but I was the one who convinced my father to allow us move into our own place. It was only fair that I get to decorate it," She went back to her food.

"It's really beautiful," I murmured.

"So are you staying here for the rest of the day? Edward won't be back until later in the night and Jasper too. Wanna hang out with me? We could go to the mall. I have to get some dresses anyway."

I thought about that for a moment before answering. I wasn't sure how Edward would feel if I went shopping with his sister; won't that be too much to go on a personal level? I glanced back at her and she stared at me with pleading eyes that I couldn't resist. "Okay, but we would be back before he comes right?"

"Yeah, sure." She smirked as she bounced in her seat.

After we finished eating, with all of Alice's compliments on how I was such a great cook and how she had never tasted stew as good as that, we went to get ready. I explained to Alice that I didn't know I was going out so I didn't have anything to wear hoping to get a validated excuse on not going to the mall. Instead she brushed it off, walked into her closet which was almost bigger than my room and got me a pair of jeans with a cream off-shoulder sweater. It was quite fortunate that we wore the same size in clothing. We spent the rest of the day walking around the mall, buying clothes, shoes and accessories that she thought were _gorgeous_. She even bought me two outfits after I had vehemently refused but then she threatened to buy me a ridiculously expensive short red gown if I didn't accept the other two outfits she bought.

We discussed about the Cullens and how her brother Emmett was getting married and how thrilling it was. We talked about Edward, how he never took commitment seriously and how she was shocked to see me cooking in the kitchen. I didn't talk a lot about myself and I was glad that she didn't ask for a lot of information about me. Whenever she sensed I didn't want to talk about a topic, she'd shove it off and go onto another discussion. I could tell she was really interested in Jasper because we spent an hour conferring about how she missed him. She also told me a little about their childhood and made me laugh on few occasions which was very hard to do especially when it came to me.

I found Alice to be really refreshing, nice, smart and funny. I didn't enjoy the part that she was involved in fashion though because she made me suffer by trying various clothes and I really wasn't into things like that. I explained to her that sometimes people thought I was snobbish but if they really got to know me, they would find out I am just fucking boring and she laughed at that.

"I didn't know you smoke," she turned to give me a reprimanding look as I lighted my cigarette.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," I laughed and blew out the smoke toward the sky.

"Smoking isn't good for the health you know that right?" her expressions softened.

"Does it offend you?" I asked timidly.

"Not really, Edward used to smoke before but he decided to quit. He has been off for about six months now. Jasper smokes too and it upsets me because I think he is shortening his life span but he says it brings out the creativity in him, humph!" She stomped her foot in a very funny way that made me laugh. "I bring out the creativity in him, he just doesn't realize that!" she huffed.

"I am very sure you bring out the creativity in everyone, Al." I smiled as I stepped on the burning end of the cigarette.

"I like you, you know. You're different and I like different. Most of Edward's girlfriends are usually bimbos but you're smart and fascinating." She continued as we walked into her yellow Porsche with almost ten shopping bags.

"Thanks, I like you too." _Of course there was no way anyone wouldn't like Alice_, I thought to myself as I entered the passenger seat.

We finally arrived home and I went to Alice's bedroom to drop her shopping bags when she suggested that we should watch a movie until Edward made it home. Three hours and an action movie later, Edward showed up.

"I see you girls are already acquainted," he walked into the room with a smirk on his face leaning on the door. I almost couldn't resist kissing him, he looked so sexy. "Bella you ready?"

"Yeah," I said as a shade of disappointment crossed my face. Edward's house was addicting, even his sister and the thought of leaving this sanctuary to be back at the brothel made me feel depressed. I knew I shouldn't have gotten used to it.

"You'll come back right? I mean you'll come back again, this wouldn't be the last time you'll be here?" Alice said in a sad tone as I stood up from her bed.

"Um, Alice I really don't know. It all depends on Edward but I would love to."

"Edward you better bring her back! I want more of her stew!" she shot Edward a serious look.

"Ok, Alice we'll see." He laughed as we exited the room.

"You've really made an impression on Alice; she seems to be taken by you." He placed his hands on my waist and dragged me to his bedroom. "I am beginning to be slightly jealous," he said in a seductive tone.

"Yeah, she's a darling." I said as we entered the room and shut the door behind us.

"I can't believe you have to go back tonight. I could pay you." He whispered roughly as he bent his head to my shoulder and kissed the exposed skin which caused goosebumps to spread.

"I'm sure you could but I feel I'm already sapping you of your money with Alice buying me clothes and you paying extra for allowing me to stay here when I didn't even spend time with you." I shivered as his hands roamed by back.

"I don't mind and if you feel so much guilt then why don't you work for the money tonight," he pushed me roughly to the wall as his lips crushed mine apart and our tongues tangled together. My hands instinctively wrapped around his broad shoulders and I pushed his head towards mine to deepen the kiss. He smiled against my lips and tilted his head to get better access with his hands roughly sliding inside my sweater. I gasped in delight as he brushed my nipples lightly and I wrapped my two legs around his waist. "Ed—Edward" I managed to say as my mind was flooded with desires swimming as they tried to penetrate further.

"Shush…you'll spoil the moment," he murmured against my lips as he slid his hands through my jeans and into my panties.

"But I have to make it to the---" I stammered as I tried to remember where I wanted to go or what I wanted to say. _What the fuck was the name of that place_? He made it harder for me as he slid his three fingers in me and I gasped in delight. I started planting kisses on his ears, cheeks, nose, and neck, anywhere I had contact to. All my nerves awoken and relished the satisfaction he was given and even wanted more. His lips came back hard on mine, demanding, passionate, and sweeping every rational thought I tried to make. I had to stop but I couldn't find the will to stop and if I had let him go any further there was no way we could stop. "I have to go Edward, I really don't want to get into trouble with Aro," I said breathlessly and really angry that I had to stop.

"Damn!" he exclaimed as he lingered his lips on mine while we waited to catch our breaths. "Fine! I'll come pick you on Friday?"

"Yes," I bit my lip to hide the bliss on the fact that he still wanted to see me.

***

The evening carried on with a very arduous performance, my mind wasn't even into the show as it used to be. It kept wandering to what Edward was doing and how I couldn't wait until Friday. I slumped into my hard bonk and suddenly became dejected that I wasn't on a soft comfortable bed in Edward's house. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but was interrupted by an ecstatic Heidi who banged the door to our room.

"Okay, I want to hear every single detail. You left with almost nothing and suddenly came back holding two bags from Bebe. Bebe!! You know that place is fucking expensive!" She hopped on her bed staring at me with wide eyes and a huge smile.

"That was from Alice," I groaned as I placed the pillow on top of my face wishing she would just go away so I can listen to my boring thoughts.

"Alice? Like Alice Cullen, his sister?"

"Yup, and she is so sweet. Their house is so beautiful, she decorated it. Her boyfriend is an artist and a musician. I spent the whole day with her; it was tiring but so worth it." I rambled, sitting up and folding my legs.

"Wow, the sister already? Bells, you're becoming too involved," she gave me a concerned look. "I mean its good but if Aro ever heard of it, he would never approve."

"I know, I know. But it's completely nothing. She just needed company shopping and I wasn't doing anything." I lay back on the bed; _reality was really a fucking bitch_.

"Yeah that's why she bought you stuffs," she raised a skeptical brow, scrutinizing the bags beside my bed.

"Oh Heidi, fuck off!" I threw a pillow in her direction which she missed.

"I'm just helping you accept _reality _as you always do for me. Just face it, you have an infatuation for him," she skipped to my bedside with a smirk.

"I don't have an infatuation for him," I snapped. "Okay maybe I do. I don't know. He treats me different like I'm not just some whore."

"Maybe he likes you too." She smiled sweetly and I sank lower into the hard bonk at that thought. The stupid bonk was so hard, why couldn't Aro afford softer ones?

"Well he shouldn't, because we can never be. He is from a rich family and Aro would never allow it even you know that."

"How is it that I'm the one looking for a husband and you happen to wind up with a gorgeous guy with no interest of planning to be with?" She placed her head in her hands and sighed.

"I know life is so fucking unfair!" I said derisively with a grin.

My boring life carried on for about three months, the only thing that sparked some kind of interest my way was being with Edward. I still slept with other customers and I tried to picture him instead of the rude men but it was all futile. I was able to save twenty thousand dollars for my mother's surgery and the doctor assured me that they will soon be able to start the procedure. I made a lot of money from karaoke nights and begged Aro that I would work twice as hard as I did after I paid the hospital bill if he kept taking only thirty percent. He had agreed surprisingly.

Edward spent a lot of money on me and I was really feeling guilty at that fact. I tried to convince him not to be coming every week but he kept insisting and who was I kidding anyway. I always looked forward to seeing him. Alice and I spent some time together when Edward was away and we grew closer. I met Jasper on few occasions and we discussed our musical talents together. I found out we had a lot of things in common. He asked me to join his band but I refused, not sure how long I could keep my career a secret. Sometimes, the four of us spent time playing scrabble or Jasper and I would do a duet for them which always ended up in Alice screaming how it would be sexy if she could sing. I became terrified that I was getting too attached to them. I never met Rosalie and Emmett, they always came when I wasn't there and in a way I was happy, I hadn't. I knew Emmett would be able to spot me if I ever saw him. I hadn't slept with him before but he had visited the brothel once and slept with one of the girls.

Christmas was approaching soon and I had to save three hundred dollars hoping to get some gifts for my mother, Heidi, Alice, Jasper and Edward. I planned to give Alice a bracelet I had seen in one of the stores in the mall to signify our friendship and even though it wasn't expensive, I was hoping she would still appreciate it. I had gotten a beautiful red dress for Heidi and a sketch book for Jasper incase he needed to draw someone special, likely Alice. I bought my mother an album in which I filled all our happy moments together when I was a child. To my disappointment, my mind couldn't cook up something creative to give Edward. He seemed to have everything he wanted and never specified anything he truly desired apart from me being his arms. Except for having a Christmas dinner at his parent's house which I had blatantly refused. There was no way I was going to meet his family that was just on a higher level of attachment.

"Okay if you don't go, where will you be? You can't possibly spend Christmas at that _place_?" He grimaced at the thought while playing with my hair as I lay on his lap.

"Edward, if I hadn't met you, I would spend Christmas in that _place_." I impersonated his tone but it didn't come out quite right.

"Maybe that's why you met me," he gave me a crooked smile and I turned away blushing.

We never spoke about the feelings we had toward each other and I was grateful. We knew there was something there, that an infatuation had fired a spark between us but none of us were brave enough to admit it. We never spoke about love or plans of the future; it was like we were only living for the moment. It was just then and now. Only feelings of lust were spoken aloud and those feelings we couldn't deny. Aro had complained once about how regular Edward was becoming and if he was '_falling in love_' as he had so decisively put it. But I explained that Edward was nothing more than a client who enjoyed my sexual company and nothing more. The planning for Emmett's wedding had become very demanding and Edward was forced a little bit to reduce our nights together. He had suggested that I come to his office once and we'd sneak around and have wild sex. Office sex was one of the best for us; the thrill of getting caught made us hasty and it sexier.

So much time had passed and I was wondering where all this was going. _Maybe I should just stop now before I got into deep and couldn't let go_, I thought as I packed for the weekend to stay at his house. _On a second thought, maybe I should just enjoy it while it lasts_.

"You're leaving me here again for the whole weekend?" Heidi whined while folding her arms over her chest close to the door.

"I gotta make money honey," I smiled folding my clothes into the small leather bag Edward had bought.

"You guys spend way too much time together for people who are not in love," she said with air quotes at the word _love._

"Please don't start this love bullshit again," I barked back as I zipped the small bag.

"I don't know why you think it's a terrible thing Bella; it's divine and pure and wonderful---"

"And does not exist between me and Edward," I cut her off as I made my way down the hall.

"Open your eyes B," she said behind me as I rolled my eyes. "Bring me something when you return!"

Edward was outside as always in his Volvo waiting for me like he had been for the past three months. "Hello sexy, ready to go?" He gave me a sexy smile as he collected my bag and dumped it in the back seat.

"As always," I blushed as I entered the car.

We got to the house in twenty minutes and I rushed to his bedroom to lay my ached muscles on the soft mattress I had been dying for since the week started. I was stunned when I found it occupied with a young blonde lady in black lace lingerie and her boxes at the side of the room.

"Oh Edward, I've been waiting for you since," she said in a low seductive tone as she rolled over to see my astonished gaze. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he had a visitor." She smiled tentatively.

* * *

Kefe: "Oh my God!!! Alice, who's the blonde lady on Edward's bed? Oh shit! Bella don't fucking freak out ok?"

Alice: "Now, Bella, don't overreact and do something stupid, would you?"

Kefe: "Oh men! Edward if you knew something about this, you're so gonna get it!"


	5. Payback

**A/N: Okay guys I am back! Did you miss me? Well did you miss Bella and Edward from this story? I just have a few things to say before you start. Please forgive me if you come across any loopholes or grammatical errors. I tend to rush crosschecking and I don't have a beta so yeah! Plus the story starts as I type. **

**I want to thank you guys so much for the reviews they make my heart thump like Edward's own!**

* * *

**Edward**

"I'm leaving Edward, I can't do this tonight!" Bella came out shouting with rage as she grabbed her brown coat off the coat rack.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" I asked as my heart suddenly weighed some pounds heavier at her sudden outburst.

"Go to your bedroom Edward, I'm leaving." she banged the door violently as I stood there, befuddled at what could have possibly changed in the past five minutes.

Okay so this was definitely not good, I mean there was no way it could be good with Bella running out of the house like she had seen a ghost in my room? But then she was running in aggravation so there was someone who pissed her off in my _empty _bedroom. I ran a hand through my frizzy hair and walked straight into my bedroom. I could finally fathom why she ran, well not really but seeing Tanya almost naked on my bed would probably frighten someone away. _What the hell was she doing here? _I pondered.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" My eyes shot daggers toward her direction and darted over to her hair smothering my pillows.

_Now_ _I'd have to wash Bella's scent off the damn thing_.

"Edward, is that a way to treat your wife?" She sat up. "I have been waiting for you here since and the least you could do is say hi. I never assumed that you'd be the impolite type," she sang seductively as she walked over to me.

"Tanya I thought I told you that whenever I'm ready to deal with you I will, so why are you here?" my voice slowly creeping towards anger.

"Well, you never came to visit me and I was wondering what the hell was wrong with you. I've been occupied with the work that Carlisle gave me and Rosalie's wedding plans, I haven't had time for you. Thought I'd come and say hi," she smiled as she turned my face towards her, pressing her body into mine. "And to help you make your decision faster,"

"Well thanks for the visit, I have seen you and I'm okay. You may now leave!" she flinched at my harsh tone but wrapped her arms on my neck.

"I'm sorry to intrude, I didn't know--" my gaze shifted to a stuttering infuriated Bella by the door side. "I just came to collect my….you know what never mind!" she turned around and hit the door rather loudly. _Oh men she was sexy when she was angry. She must really be in the mood for banging doors today_, I smiled at my thought but Tanya took it as an encouragement to continue flirting.

"Tanya, I really can't do this now. Please get out of my room when I get back!" I bellowed as I pushed her slightly away from me and took off after Bella.

There was no point of her being annoyed, I mean, I wasn't doing Tanya or anything. She had never been that angry at me before and it made me feel down. I felt like there was a hole in my chest, my heartbeat increased rapidly as I ran down the stairs to look for her. Okay this was becoming insane. I shouldn't feel like this. I mean she was just angry, she'll surely forgive me. But then this was going to be the first altercation since we had this fucking relationship and I do mean fucking in literally terms.

I got outside but she seemed nowhere in sight, I was so exhausted after all the paperwork that Emmett and I had to do today and I was really hoping Bella would relieve the stress with her famous massages. Instead this night just officially became worse and more stressful for me now that she had stormed off angrily out of my house thinking Tanya and I had something.

I grudgingly walked back to my room after thirty minutes of looking for her outside, I assumed that she took a cab and left. This night sure had a perfect turnout. The woman that I wanted to stay ran off leaving me with the woman I wanted to get rid of. It's amazing how five minutes could ruin everything. This weekend was sure going to be hell and five minutes was all it took.

"Are you dating her?" Tanya asked as she started to wear her clothes back on after failing to seduce me.

I didn't even know the answer to that question myself. I hadn't claimed that she was my girlfriend or lover, and she hadn't called me anything. As far as I knew I wasn't even sure what kind of relationship we had. I was only aware of the effect she had on me, the way her body felt under me and her mysteriousness which intrigued me. I didn't even know enough things about her. I wanted to ask more considering she knew some things about me. But she had been reluctant and appalled whenever I brought it up. I knew there was something eating her up especially with the horrific nightmares she was having but she never really wanted to talk about it.

"No, it's complicated." I shrugged, lying on my bed and rubbing my temples. A headache was definitely breaching through.

"Well, if you are sleeping with her, you better quit it! I can't be waiting for you for long Edward, I have other things to do and I didn't come all this way for you to be still playing your stupid games." She huffed in annoyance. "I am going back to your parents house but do get rid of her and come and meet me immediately." She said as she rolled her box out of my room.

Great, now my parents were going to hear about this. I could sense another concerned "_mother"_ talk coming on the way. I groaned as I lay back thinking of how empty and lonely my bed felt without the warmth of Bella in it. Sleep crept over me and before I knew it I was unconscious.

***

It had been five days and some hours since the incident with Tanya happened, five fucking days and I couldn't believe I was fucking counting. I had also displayed a range of emotions as a reaction towards the case, among which were, anger, anxiety, frustration, irritation and so many more. I wasn't fully concentrating at work even though I really tried. Little things kept getting on my nerves like my secretary stuttering when I asked her a question, or when she gave me tea instead of coffee. I was terribly angry at Bella for running away and not informing me if she was alright even though she was mad. I was angry at myself that I even cared about the situation she was angry at me for. I was angry at Tanya for being in the room in the first place. I was angry that Emmett was spending so much time with his fucking bride and leaving me to do all the work at the office and I was angry that I wasn't getting enough sleep. Most of all, I was angry that the girls at the Volturi place were not even allowing me to see her, they kept giving flimsy excuses that she was away and she had other clients to take care of. Another thing that made me mad was that she was sleeping with men at that fucked up place. Fortunately for me, Heidi had given me some information on which section of the house she'd be singing at today considering it was Wednesday.

My phone interrupted my thoughts as it beeped. I pulled it from my pocket and found out it was Emmett.

_Hey, I have been busy all day._

_Did you get the deal with the Black Company? _

_Jacob is supposed to send you his confirmation._

_We should meet up soon, you, me and Jasper, maybe after the Christmas dinner. _

_I need some male bonding; Rose is pretty much killing my masculine side._

_I'll meet you on Friday at your place. _

_Say hi to Alice for me…_

I placed the blackberry inside my pocket and grabbed my coat on my way out. Jacob Black was pretty much spending time deciding whether to give us the deal, another stress load. I entered into my Aston martin vanquish and drove off. The time on the clock read 8:30pm. I had been at work since 7:30am. Bella was performing at 9:00pm and within the past few days; I had developed an obsessive compulsive disorder with time, amongst other things like keeping myself occupied instead of being lethargic.

After parking my car in a safe spot, I walked into the building with my hands in my pocket. I had been planning on giving a speech overflowing with my indignation to Bella and now I suddenly became nervous. I ran a quick hand through my hair and walked into the bar hut. It was the room Heidi had informed me to be in order to see her. The place was filled with a few men sitting on chairs with round tables in front of them and girls who were taking their orders as waitresses, seducing them or stripping. The girls wore short dresses or skirts with white blouses tied a little below their chest exposing a little stomach skin. Music filled the background played by a band on the stage. I stood beside a pillar and collected a glass of cocktail as one of the girls passed me with a tray of drinks. I checked my phone and the time was now 8:50pm. Time was so slow today, jeez! An angel must really be sleeping instead of pressing the fast forward button.

After what seemed to be like an hour, a red-haired lady introduced herself as Victoria as she approached the stage. "Good evening gentlemen. I present Bella Swan to you this night singing; Ain't it Funny by Jennifer Lopez." She bowed her head as the curtains separated and all the lights went off.

I leaned back against the pillar and decided that I might as well enjoy this. I had heard her sing a couple of times with Jasper and I knew she had an amazing voice but I hadn't seen her sing on a stage or anything formal like that. I took a sip of my wine and my eyes darted towards the stage. A stream of light beamed on the center of the stage to reveal a brown-haired woman wearing a black blouse that was tied across her chest to display her flat stomach like the other girls I saw earlier with a brown long wide gypsy skirt that flowed to the floor with slits all over it. Her hair was curly and dressed with jewelry that drooped to her forehead and silver bangles on her wrists. She looked so beautiful and most of all smoking hot.

She grabbed the microphone and did a little intro before the music came on. Some of the guys started ogling her and it took me an amazing amount of control to sit there and watch them drool over her. Her voice immediately took my focus away and towards her as she started singing.

_This perfect romance that I have created in my mind_.

_I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side. But we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance_. _And so it seems we'll never have the chance_

Her eyes inspected the crowd as she started swaying her hips to the music. They stopped immediately as she came across my figure on the wall. A rush must have passed through her because at that same time, she grabbed a guy sitting in front of the stage to dance with her. Anger soared through me as she rubbed her hips exactly on his groin. I was going to walk straight towards her when I noticed two hefty guys standing by the sides of the stage to prevent the men sitting down from going apeshit. _No point of engaging in a fight tonight_, I thought.

_Ain't it funny how some feelings that you just can't deny._ _And you can't move on even though you try_. _Ain't it straight when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel?_

_Oh I wish this could be real_

Her brown eyes stayed on me with lust as she let the idiotic raccoon slide his filthy hands up and down her body in a systematic rhythm. I felt livid standing there watching him violate my territory with his fucking ugly hands and not being able to do anything about it. She continued to allow him caress her while watching me burn right in front of her eyes.

_Sometimes I think that a true love can never be .I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant to be_. _Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain_

_And I don't think that I could face it all again_

She shook her tresses of curls on the guy and he moaned as his hands rested on her hips while they sashayed to the music. Sweat trickled down my face and I clenched my fists until my knuckles turned white while her eyes rested on my figure. The perturbing singing and dancing carried on and I suddenly became angry at Jlo for singing the damned song in the first place. After the song finished, she gave a quick kiss on his lips and bowed to the keyed up crowd infuriating every nerve in me more. She made her way to the back door and I quickly caught up with her before she exited to the hallway.

"Bella I need to talk to you," I said in a brusque voice as I chased after her.

"Fuck off Edward! I don't want to talk to you." she bellowed as she entered the corridor.

"Well you will whether you want to or not!" I growled as I caught her arm and pulled her to face me.

"Edward, leave me the fuck alone!" she struggled from my hard grasp but it was futile.

"What the hell were you doing?" I asked; my eyes boiled with annoyance as I recalled her little performance on the stage.

"As I clearly remember, you're not my father, nor my husband so I really don't see how it's any of your fucking business!" she snapped in aggravation, still trying to struggle her way out of my hold.

"True but you belong to me! I own you. I pay a fucking fortune on you!"

"You own nothing!" she spat back as her body vibrated irately on me which only sent electric pulses to my heated groin. It had been long since I felt her body against mine and this was totally messing up with my dick. "Other customers spend on me too but you don't see them fucking stalking and harassing me!" she pushed back against my chest.

"Yes but do they make you feel like the way I do," I whispered against her neck as I pushed her roughly back to the wall. "Tell me Bella, do they make you scream and moan like the way I do? Do you call their names when you're fucking them?" I ran my tongue greedily along the side of her neck. "I know you fantasize about me when you're with them." _Well I hope you do._ I didn't understand the sudden rush of adrenaline that coursed through my veins. A sudden desire to take her here in this hallway crept up my spine and I could feel she was resisting the same feeling I was having.

"Fuck you!" she tried to pull herself away from me but that only caused my body to press into her further against the wall.

"I will if you let me," I continued as my hands roamed the sides of her body, trying to wash away any feel that the raccoon put on her. I rubbed her thighs and came in contact with her wet laced panties. I ripped them hastily and violently away from her as she gasped. "I know you have feelings for me Swan; I can see it and I really can't comprehend why you fight it. That's why you were so upset about Tanya but it's okay because I fucking have feelings for you too." I tore the left side of her blouse and my hands explored the black lace of her bra which held the swells of her sumptuous breasts. She moaned and flew her head when they brushed her strained nipples causing them to spring alive.

My tongue swept from the length of her neck to her earlobes, I teased and grazed them with my teeth causing her to whimper helplessly crashing into my body. "See the way I make you fucking feel, do you see?" I continued my trail with my tongue licking and tasting every inch of her and working it into memory. Her luscious quivering body pressed into me further arousing me in different levels. She raised her left leg and wrapped it securely around my waist as her nails clung to the wall to balance her and prevent her from falling.

"Edward we can't do this here, people are going to be walking by and Aro won't be happy if he catches us here," she murmured breathlessly still trying to hang on.

I slowly started moving her against the wall trying to find a cubicle that I had passed by earlier on while caressing her. Her hands ripped the buttons of my shirt with a strong force that sent them flying across the floor as we moved rapidly finding the door knob for the cubicle at the side of the wall. She finally found it and I turned the knob slightly as she held on to me, clutching my shoulders to prevent her from crashing onto the floor. The cubicle was dark and we fell slowly, easily and carefully to the cold floor. My face fell softly on her hair, my hands threading the softness of it and catching the faint drift of perfume, shampoo and her womanly scent. I stood up and removed myself away from her while her hands reached out.

"Stay," I hissed as I struggled with the confinement of my silver buckle and polished black leather belt bounding my narrow waist. After I dealt with it, my hot hands ran hungrily and greedily over her body, tracing each curve and cupping each of her succulent supple breasts.

"Don't fucking torment me Edward" she growled in response as my hands settled on her swollen center causing her to shiver. She arched slightly toward each of my hot rough caresses and a wave of lust flowed through my veins.

I grabbed the back of her head hardly and brought her lips to mine, devouring and tantalizing all the corners of her mouth. The kiss wasn't passionate or loving, it wasn't soft and caring, it was needy, demanding, possessing, and most of all fiercely filled with all the lust that was in every fiber of my body. I pressed my hot erection against her which caused her to squirm in pleasure. My hands touched, stroked and teased her soft flesh as I thrust with all my power into her while taking her lips in between mine to avert any noise that could cause attention to the cubicle. All her feminine curves fit with my masculine curves like pieces in a puzzle as our bodies humped with my fingers stroking her exposed flesh. We decided to switch positions with her lying on her stomach and her knees bending slightly in order to raise her hips while I lay over her back flooding her with kisses as I pushed into her further. After a few more thrusts, I pressed a line of hot kisses on her shoulders before I stood up and wore my pants properly.

"Now, I would never fuck Tanya like that," I opened the door of the cubicle and gave her a crooked smile which sent a color of red to her cheeks instantly.

She sat up straightening her torn blouse in a way to cover her nakedness. "Congrats Cullen, you've not only succeeded in being the first to fuck me in a small compartment but you've torn my beautiful blouse, asshole," she smirked.

"You're welcome," I raked my hands through my ruffled hair in an attempt to smooth any evidence that I had just fucked someone.

"Oh Edward, you know I like it messy," she sang, sensually stroking my hair with her hands which sent a shiver down my spine at her playful touch.

***

"I am not taking no for an answer Bella, we've talked about this before!" I hit the table with an extra amount of force for her to take me seriously.

"But Edward, meeting your family is like signing a death wish with Tanya there and all, you know my status." Her eyes running every inch of my naked chest as she bit her lips.

"Stop ogling me and take me seriously," I laughed at her childish flirtatious manners. "Who the hell is Tanya anyway, does it look like I care what she thinks?"

"But Tanya is your wife!" she teased holding the sheets of the bed between her hands as I diverted my attention toward something else before I lost control and we went for another round. "I feel _dirty_ already snatching you away from her."

_Even the word dirty sounded sexy, she was out to kill me._

"Yeah right" I rolled my eyes at her insinuation.

"I mean is it fair?" she stood up from the bed and walked slowly, swaying her hips toward my direction. "That she doesn't get all this," she wrapped me with her hands and ran them over my bare chest as my breathing hitched slightly. "It's only fair that I give her this," her hands went lower to my buckle area as my groin heated up with fire. "Think of how she'll burn with jealousy if she sees me teasing you like this," her mouth went up to my earlobe and bit it slightly as I closed my eyes and moaned at the sensation. "It won't be fair on _wifey,_" she giggled as she pressed her breasts on my back. "And we can't have a jealous _wifey_ on our hands," she let go and went back to the bed.

"It's a Christmas dinner, I am entirely sure Tanya wouldn't mind. Who cares what she thinks anyway?" I groaned in frustration as a feeling of void spread through me at the loss of her touch.

"You're a greedy motherfucker," she laughed, wearing her housecoat and placing a shirt on my shoulders.

"Only when it comes to you," I smiled buttoning the shirt.

We walked downstairs to the dining room, her body leaning on me on the way as we met a lip locking Alice and Jasper on the dining table.

"Geez, don't you guys have a room?" I muttered in disgust at the sight, taking a piece of bread into my mouth.

Seeing your sister making out with your friend, whom you took as a brother, was definitely not an appealing sight.

"Hey Edward, Bella," Alice greeted as she blushed in embarrassment.

"Don't mind Edward, he's just sore because I refused to go with him for his family's Christmas dinner," Bella blurted out snatching the bread I had in my hands and eating it.

"You're not going?" Alice's face colored in disappointment.

"Nope, Jasper could you please pour a cup of coffee for me?" she asked as Jasper passed her a mug of hot steaming coffee.

"Why the hell aren't you going?" Alice hopped to her side.

"Cause I don't want to," she said simply, avoiding Alice's gaze and focusing on Jasper sketching the both of them.

"Well I have a gift for you," Alice shrugged. "And if you don't come then you won't receive it," she said nonchalantly.

"Oh Alice, you really didn't have to do that," she said sincerely, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"I can't believe Edward asked you and you don't want to go. It is an honor for Edward to ask you to dinner at his parent's house you know?" Alice arched her sculpted brows, her gaze settling on Jasper as he continued to sketch.

"Aww…I feel so fucking _special_," she smiled sardonically to my direction. "Still doesn't change anything though," she gave me a sexy smile. "Besides Tanya is going to be there,"

"At least come for me, you know I am more special than _Edward_," Alice purred staring at me to observe my reaction in which I just answered her with a grin.

"Of course you're more special than Edward, I would come only for you though because Edward would be attending to Tanya," she chucked.

_I was never gonna live through this Tanya shit, was I?_

"I can't believe this bullshit! So you're gonna listen to her and not me, yet I thought I had a control over you," I pretended to look irritated but gave it away when she giggled.

"Oh Edward, you know you're the only sugar in my tea and the only skeleton in my closet. Ouh! I know the right one, the closest thing to my addiction to cigarettes," she crooned in a mocking tone while Jasper and Alice broke into a noisy laughter.

This was how Bella and I were. We always joked about romance but never addressed the romance we had. I really wanted to tell her that I had stronger feelings more than lust for her even though I was unsure what it was and I really didn't want to jump into it and name it love. But I hadn't proclaimed anything strong for her because I wasn't sure if it will scare her away since we never talked about our feelings before.

"You're underrating my desire for you Edward, you're really my obsession," she winked at me as they all burst into another round of laughter.

"Oh Bella, no one has ever teased Edward like this before, great job!" Alice cried as she gave Bella a high five.

"Yeah great job, don't worry, I'll have a comeback for you and you know what they say; payback is a bitch!" I grinned wickedly as I stole her cup of coffee.

"Don't be such a baby!" Alice leered bouncing her pixie curls.

"Yes Edward, you're giving men a bad name!" Jasper added, laughing as he went back to shading.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!" I grumbled as I nudged his shoulders. "We men should stick together so we can be able to face these beautiful women," I turned my gaze to Bella lovingly or something other than lust hoping she could see it but was replied with giggles from the two of them.

"You know what we should do Bella," Alice turned to Bella as her eyes lit up with excitement. "We could put make up on the boys, I'm sure Edward would make a beautiful girl." She smirked.

"Hell no!" I exclaimed with aghast, glaring at my small sister bouncing in anticipation.

"Now Alice, that's just too far." Jasper interceded as he seductively smiled at her.

"Not fair, I hate it when he does that!" she huffed finishing her cup of coffee. "It's like he has some control over you," she shot a daring glare at Jasper.

"I know right," Bella licked her lower lip seductively, her chocolate pool eyes boring into mine.

"Oh man, we aren't having breakfast like this," I stated standing up and walking into the kitchen before I had another hard on.

"You're annoying Edward!" Bella called from the dining room and I laughed as Jasper entered.

"So I heard we are spending next two weekends together, the whole crew; you, me, Alice, Emmett and Rose, you up for it?" He patted me on the back and sat on the bar stool behind the counter.

"Am I ever up for anything involving you two couples? Even if I say I don't wanna go Emmett will always find a way to drag me, the stupid jackass!" I said placing my cup into the sink and allowing the tap water to rush through it.

"He has been with Rosalie for like forever, I don't blame him for wanting to spend time with us. And Rose wanted to spend a little time with Alice too."

"Yeah so why do we have to bring the girls along too?"

"I don't know, Rose mumbled something about not being able to trust Emmett with picking up her phone calls if she needed his decision on the wedding arrangements."

"Yeah because Emmett would never pick up," I laughed.

"Yeah, have you told Bella though? She should come,"

"I did but she wants to spend the weekend with her roommate and actually do some work," I grimaced, thinking of all the men she would be sleeping with. "And it's good so that she would be able to make up for the weekend she would miss during the dinner."

"Ah, I see. Well then we should get prepared." Jasper smiled as he left the kitchen.

The week had run by so fast and I wasn't sure if it was because Bella and I had resolved our disagreement or if it was just me. Suddenly, we were driving off to my parent's house for the Christmas dinner.

"Stop freaking out Bella!" I hissed as I clutched on to the steering wheel of the Volvo while packing into the garage of the mansion.

"What if they don't like me, what if someone knows me from the brothel?" she bit her fingernails and shuddered at the thought.

"Who could possibly know you?"

"Uh…I don't know Edward, your brother!" she growled in frustration.

"Trust me Emmett doesn't remember girls that much except Rosalie," I smiled as I took her hands into mine and kissed them lightly. "You look beautiful when you're nervous, but seriously meeting my dysfunctional family is entirely dangerous. You should probably were a mask," I teased as I pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm not kidding Edward, meeting new people is not my forte not to talk of your parents." she nudged my shoulders and turned her head to the windscreen.

"I would protect you from the vicious attacks that they'll spring on you." I lowered my head to her hands and started planting kisses on the length of her arm. "You should know my first brother resembles a bear, a very big grizzly one and he might attack you ferociously. And my father is like a mountain lion with all the paws and everything with his lioness by his side. She will pounce on you if you hurt her curbs. Plus Rosalie is like a…" I stopped at her nape and pondered a bit, _what the hell would Rosalie be? She would need to be something that produces poison_. "I can't even think of what to give Rosalie, maybe a shark or a snake or…" she placed her fingers against my soft lips and I suckled on it gently.

"Enough Edward, I truly get the point." she giggled as I continued to trail kisses along the length of her neck. "If we don't get out of this car, we might actually end up doing it in the car"

"That wouldn't be so bad now would it," I said in a croaked voice as I took her lips in mine and kissed her tenderly.

* * *

**So there you have it…up next BPOV of family dinner. Let's hope no one will find about her little secret. Sorry about the length, I couldn't help it. **crosses fingers** hope you like it?**


	6. Pieces

**A/N: Hey Guys! I am back again. Sorry for the long time for updates, the second love of my life (college) is occupying my time. Um okay! Straight to business!**

**Thank you so freaking much for the reviews; they really make my day trust me. The fact that people are reading the crap I have to write makes me try to improve and cook up something worth your time.**

**I dedicate this chapter to all of you and to sunshinelollypops.**

**Song For this Chapter – Pieces by Red (highly suggested for the End)**

* * *

My heart thumped loudly in my chest like as if I was about to commit a murder as I walked towards the main door. I kept chanting to myself _you don't have to do this, don't cause embarrassment for yourself. Bella, if you enter that door; it's your own funeral!_ I thought to myself and my clammy sweaty hands immediately started shaking. Edward noticed me getting tensed up and gave me a tight squeeze as we approached the stairs holding hands. Even the snow and cold weather couldn't stop me from sweating nervously. My heart beats increased rapidly as we climbed each step and even though Edward was with me, I couldn't help but feel fear. I was extremely petrified and I wasn't sure if it was because someone would identify and embarrass me or because I thought they would emphasize on the fact that I wasn't good enough for him and he would leave me. The past weeks I had been fighting with my mind and cursing myself for getting this close to him. I had fallen deeply for him. I wasn't sure what to define my feelings as. I didn't want to call it love because I felt that was a strong word which could possibly shatter everything. I struggled with my mind on how to let him go before it was too late but my selfish desires kept telling me to hang on.

"It will be fine Bella, trust me," he smiled reassuringly as he opened the door. _I trust you, that's the problem, I am not meant to. _I started seeing the knob of the door as the opening of my gates to hell; an angel was actually taking me to hell, this was entirely a fucking perfect way to die. My heart raced and I squeezed my eyes shut as if we were watching a horror movie as we entered the house, it was like waiting for a time bomb to explode.

Edward took my coat and hung it on the coat rack along with his. The house was exquisitely beautiful and huge. It was decorated with dark brown drapes, glass tables and stools. Some floors of the house were in tiles while some parts were in wood. Paintings and picture frames hung over the walls. Christmas decorations and lights flooded the hallway as we made our way deeper inside the house.

"Guess who's here, slow poke has finally made it home!" A loud booming masculine voice greeted us at the entrance of the kitchen. The kitchen smelled of fried delicious food that made my mouth water instantly.

"Great! Edward step into the kitchen, we might as well use your cooking skills. I think Alice is going to burn my kitchen down!" A feminine voice laughed as Edward and I stood by the door.

"Mum! That's not fair! I am trying to learn." Alice stomped her feet in annoyance as she held the big spoon with a frown.

"Yes honey, but certainly not with my Christmas dinner." A brown-haired woman that I guessed was Edward's mother chuckled as she turned the pot of food on the stove. "Now there's my handsome son, what the hell took you so long? I'm beginning to think you don't like coming home that's why it takes you long to get here." She walked up to him and embraced him in a tight hug which caused our hands to separate.

"Mum, you know I love coming home to be with you," he said and smiled warmly at her. "Mum meet Bella,"

"Wow, Edward didn't tell us he was having a guest around; he's usually the lonely soul during this period and all other periods." She turned to smirk at him. "Forgive me child for not noticing you immediately." She said politely as she shook my hands.

"Edward actually brought a girl home, a girl other than Tanya." Emmett laughed as he patted Edward on his shoulder. "It's good to know you're exercising your social skills and living the lonely world."

"And this is my brother who is utterly annoying, Emmett." Edward shot him an irritated glance.

"Hello Bella, why, I must say you are very beautiful. Please quickly realize that my brother is a douche bag and move on." He chuckled as he gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheeks. "Welcome to our very dysfunctional home. I hope you enjoy it. Just know that if this dinner gets entirely out of control, you're free to call the cops," he smirked.

"Please don't mind Emmett, he is a wimp!" Alice teased as she took me to sit beside her close to the kitchen counter. "I've been waiting for you since, you have no idea and you look beautiful."

"Thanks you too." I replied as I stole a glance from Edward who was devouring me with his green lustful eyes and licking his lower lip which sent blood flooding my cheeks instantly.

I had been completely apprehensive about the whole Christmas dinner and Alice had jumped in to save the day lending me one of her dresses. Edward offered to get me a dress but I strongly refused, he was spending too much money as it was already. Alice's closet was like a shopping mall filled with different shoes, dresses, blouses, pants, shorts and many types of attire. I had suggested that I wanted something simple but classy and she had brought many flashy options. We finally settled for a mini, short halter black V neck dress with a stripped knit bust that had a gathered knot in the front. It was fitting; it emphasized my curves and exposed my neck a little bit which Alice was going for. She wore a KLS gown that we had bought the last time we went shopping. It was a black blousant tunic with an empire waistline that was accentuated with intricate beadwork and a shiny sequin detail with long sleeves and a circular neck which exposed her shoulders. Her short hair was curled out like the pixie hair she normally carried with big black loops on her ear that highlighted her neck. She looked simple but still stunning as always.

"Fucker, are you ready for our 'all guys' weekend?" Emmett asked Edward who was pouring a bottle of Moet into a glass cup.

"Yeah, kinda," he replied bringing the glass to his lips and I immediately wished the glass cup was me. He looked extremely sexy tonight. He wore a black long sleeve corporate shirt with three of its buttons loose to expose his sexy masculine chest that I wanted to run my fingers through. He always looked handsome in black.

"Guys, we are coming too! It ain't only a 'guy's weekend'," A beautiful blonde said with air quotes as she appeared in the kitchen with Tanya. She was dressed in a short black satin-shine classic shirt dress with a pleated stitched collar and a ruffled detail at the buttoned midline. A D ring buckle belt at the bust area. The dress accentuated her full blown out figure. She looked lovely with her long blonde curly hair cascading over her shoulders. "We're coming too!" she folded her arms across her chest with an angry pout.

"Edward! You made it!" Tanya threw her arms around him in elation and pressed her body towards him as she smiled. She was dressed in an asymmetric white pleated tank top with wide straps that had pleated bands running from the straps to the hem with a pair of black shorts that were above her knee. "I thought you weren't coming again, I have something to show you." She wrapped her right arm over his shoulders and whisked him away out of the kitchen.

"Emmett, leave this kitchen at once! Go do stuff with Edward or Jasper or something." The beautiful blonde spoke again, hands on her hips.

"But babe, why do I have to leave all the beautiful women alone by themselves in this kitchen?" Emmett whined as he scooped her in his arms.

"Because I said so," she giggled as he tickled her while kissing her nape.

"Emmett, I'm pretty sure you can leave your bride with us for a while, we know you miss her. Don't worry we won't kill her," Alice teased pouring some red wine for me in a glass. "At least not yet."

"Yes, please this is my kitchen. Take your foreplay to the bedroom, we have plenty upstairs." Esme said, tossing the fried chicken into a serving bowl.

"Okay baby, we would finish this later." She winked at him and tapped his ass as he strode out of the kitchen.

"Don't you guys ever get tired of being with each other? We get bored of seeing your attraction everyday!" Alice interjected.

"Now Alice, you need to feel and understand what a physical connection means," Blondie sat across the counter facing Alice and I while Esme continued to cook. "Not the eye connection you and Jasper do. I don't understand it at all. Love needs to be expressed physically. He needs to tell you the way he feels through his hands."

"Rosalie, are you implying that I haven't had sex?" Alice said with astonishment as Esme turned toward her with curiosity.

"Have you?" Rosalie raised her eyebrows skeptically while crossing her hands over her chest.

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed.

"Honey, you never told me," Esme paused cooking, staring her daughter with caring eyes.

"Mum, I don't have to tell you anything. I am twenty two. I think I can handle myself." She scoffed.

"Well, so far it's with Jasper. He is going to be your husband soon so why not? He is a very respectable man!" Esme resumed her cooking. "And we can always trap him later so he can't run,"

"My little brother, you know, not to sound perverted or psycho but I have always been curious as to how sex with him was like for girls. I was a little afraid that he wasn't a pro in things like that." Rose chirped in leaning over the table with her chin in her hands.

"Jasper can be sexy when he wants to trust me, the first time we--" Alice got cut off.

"This is a kitchen! Geez, what's with you guys today? I am cooking and I don't want to have graphic images of my daughter having sex while serving pasta." Esme reprimanded while I shuddered at the thought of pasta being compared to something else. "And we have a guest here, honey hope you don't mind dropping this in the dining room?" she asked, holding a glass bowl filled with chicken. "It's the room on your left, a little farther down the hall."

"Yeah, sure!" I answered taking it from her and leaving the kitchen.

I was grateful to leave the kitchen; my mind wasn't entirely set on making lucid banters with the ladies in Edward's life. I felt like I was being obtrusive, listening to their lives without sharing any of mine and I really didn't want to engage in topics including me and Edward.

After dropping the bowl, I decided to take a little tour on the house while looking for Edward. Tanya had taken him away from the kitchen rudely without even acknowledging the fact that I was there, it was almost like she was trying to prove a point. He didn't even turn back to look at me and see if I was okay staying here all by myself. I knew that I claimed not to give a fuck whether he was with anyone but me. Actually I wasn't supposed to care because we hadn't talked about anything and according to my job, I wasn't supposed to even be here or have feelings for him in the first place. But who was I kidding? Every fiber in my body burned whenever I saw him with another woman who wasn't related to him. It was amazing how pure jealousy filled my veins just watching women ogle him or talk about him. I never thought that I would feel that way about someone before and most of the times when people around me got jealous, I couldn't understand it. It made me possessive and the feeling was fucking scary. The truth is I had every reason to be jealous. I didn't have him. Edward wasn't mine; we hadn't declared anything so he could as well just wake up one morning and leave me. My insecurities were what instigated the jealousy. I was hopeful whenever he looked at me when his eyes weren't stained with lust, hoping other feelings were there but I was also not sure if I was just seeing what I wanted to see. _Damn, thoughts like this were even illegal!_ I hated what he was doing to me, pulling out insecurities that I didn't even know existed and most of all he was making me susceptible and I hated it.

I ambled around the house a little bit and to my disappointment, there was still no sign of Edward. I finally came across something that caught my eye. It was a set of pictures of Edward, Emmett and Alice's childhood at the side of the staircase. There were a lot of pictures from when they were born, when they turned to toddlers, then when they were in high school to college till when Edward and Emmett graduated. At the top of the wall, there was a big print that read Esme's Treasures: Emaled in bold capital letters. Edward looked like a dazzling angel from birth, he was so cute and I couldn't help but chuckle when I came across a picture that looked like Emmett was bullying him.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" A female squeaky voice said behind me as she cleared her throat.

I turned to find Tanya walking towards me. For someone who looked so intimidating, she sure did have a shitty voice. "Yes, it is." I croaked playing with the necklace that danced around my neck.

I really wasn't in the mood to be confronted by the skank but it was good to know that she wasn't with Edward.

"Esme is a very loving mother you know. I take her as my second mother. She has put so much strength and work to making them this close, if it was only Carlisle, that wouldn't have been possible." She laughed as I turned my attention back to the wall. "I have known them for a while now. It's like I'm their sister. I know Edward's ins and outs; I have always known them since childhood. Like the fact that he prefers coffee to tea, how he likes Calvin Klein. How dedicated he is to his work. Carlisle was really disappointed that he didn't show that dedication to medicine. He always thought Emmett would be the businessman while Edward the doctor. But Edward surprised us all like he always does. I know all the little gory details about him." She paused. "And I know when someone's using him. I know how good he is and I don't want you to take the liberty of that." Venom impinged on her tone and I flinched at the harshness.

"I know who you are Isabella Swan. You work at Aro's Brothel." She turned to me and smiled peevishly. "You want to use him and I won't allow you. I have been here all this while building this relationship and I won't let you walk in here and steal it away from me. You have nothing more than a high school degree with no good family background; you can never measure up to him. You see him as a way out of the hell you created for yourself but he won't be deceived by you. He'll soon grow tired of you, he always does. And when he comes back to his senses, he'll be with me. I love him. I have always loved him. That is why I came all the way here and you're not gonna make this worthless for me. I suggest that you give up this charade and leave him before everyone finds out. Because if they do, it would be bad for you and Esme would never approve. You have until New year's eve." She said in a soft admonished tone. "It was nice meeting you Isabella" she said with a tone of finality and left.

I stood there for a few minutes as I clutched the necklace my mother gave me tighter. I felt my heart constrict in my chest and the tears welling up inside of me. This was my second biggest fear after my mother's death. Someone knew my secret and was blackmailing me to leave Edward in order to avoid the embarrassment. I needed a fucking cigarette. I grabbed my coat and lurched my way out of the house. I didn't know why I just stood there. I couldn't place why I just let her say all she wanted to say. I could have defended myself but then she was saying the truth. The truth definitely hurts. I knew I could never match up to his level and he could always do better but hearing the actual words from someone else hurt really badly. I leaned on the building and grabbed a cigarette from my pocket. _What_ _the fuck was I doing here?_ I lighted the cigarette and took a pull as I watched my feet sink into the snow with my four inch heel. Despondency washed over me as I stood quivering and shaking outside in the cold. _Fucking winter!_ I hissed.

I felt like someone had ripped out my heart and fed it to the dogs. I felt dejected and I needed someone. I needed Edward and he was nowhere to be found. I took another drag and thought about my loving mother. I had spent the whole day with her hoping she won't feel lonely for Christmas. I missed her and it killed me to know that I couldn't share with her how I was feeling. I needed someone to explain to me why I was here, how I got here and why it killed me so much that I wasn't good enough. I wanted to shoot Edward for making me feel this way, for making me feel a wide range of emotions. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. Reality was killing me slowly. I needed someone to share my pain with. I wanted someone to listen to me and tell me that it wasn't my fault that I was the way I am. I wanted someone to tell me I was worth it. That I was not in blame for everything that happened to me. I needed to know that I wasn't the reason for my mother's heartbreak when Charlie abandoned us. Or that I wasn't the reason that I was where I am today. Was there really a better way to get out of this predicament? Because if there was, I would have gladly taken it and I would have been a better person for him.

"Bella are you alright?" Jasper asked as he stepped outside.

"Yes," I sobbed, I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw the traitor tears stain the pure white snow. That's what I was doing, staining things. I was corrupting Edward, staining his perfect soul with my sinful habits.

"I'm sorry, dinner is ready and everyone was looking for you. Tanya suggested that I should check outside" _The stupid bitch!_ "Come here," he said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

Jasper felt warm and calming. He also smelled of mint and cigarettes or maybe that was just me. "It's okay," he whispered. "Stop crying" and that only caused an outburst of more tears. "shush, it's okay," he continued whispering.

I didn't even have to talk about it, I just let his warmth spread through me as he started rocking me slowly while I drained his jacket with my salty tears. We stood outside for a long time. I wasn't sure, or maybe it was short. I really didn't know.

"Let's go inside before you get frostbites," I giggled.

"Are you okay now? We can stay as long as you want," he looked at me with concerned eyes.

"No, it's okay. We will miss Christmas dinner." I smiled to convince him I was okay.

"Okay then." He opened the door and we walked in together as I tried to rub the traces of tears from my eyes.

"There you are; where have you been? Edward has been looking for you all over the place." Alice took my hands from Jasper's and led me to the dining room.

Everyone was seated and ready to eat but appeared to be waiting for me. Once again, I had managed to be the center of fucking attention, _fuck!_

"Hey, are you okay? I've been looking for you. This house is huge please don't take tours without being with me," Edward said as he slid his hands around my waist.

"I was looking for you,"

"I'm sorry. I had to talk with my father." He kissed my forehead and pulled out a chair for me to sit down. "I missed you," he whispered in a seductive tone.

_Me too._

"Now that we are all here, let's eat." Esme smiled as she opened the dishes.

"Why are we all wearing black today? We're not going for a fucking funeral! This is fucking Christmas." Rose said as she scanned each of our clothing.

"It's just me, you, Bella and Edward, and Tanya that have a little black on, nothing serious." Alice answered pouring more wine into her glass.

"It's a Cullen woman thing." Emmett snickered serving some food on his plate.

"Edward isn't a woman, Em" Rose smacked his head.

"Well he could be; I mean he obviously has the same thinking faculty as you guys!" Emmett smirked.

"So Bella what do you do?" Carlisle's voice startled me as I passed the bowl of sauce to Alice who was sitting beside me.

"She's a personal assistant." Edward replied brusquely while keeping his eyes on his food.

"Edward you know it's rude for you to intrude into people's discussions, your father was talking to Bella." Esme said pouring some sauce for Carlisle.

"Well mum, you just intruded into my conversation with him!" Edward retorted.

"That's rude Edward; mind the tone you use with your mother." Carlisle scowled.

"It's okay Carlisle, Edward's just stressed." She smiled at her husband lovingly.

I suddenly felt awkward sitting down at the table, I really didn't want to be the reason shit started on the table. Edward took my hands under the table and rubbed them while eating his food.

"So I am planning a new year's eve party!" Alice squealed in her seat as she took a fork of lasagna.

"You always plan the parties Alice, no one's fighting with you," Rose rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but I ain't planning your wedding,"

"Hell no! I love you but sorry that's my special day and it has to go _my _way." She laughed. "It took me a lot to convince Emmett to make it a spring wedding instead of winter," she said with a goofy grin while Emmett smiled.

"This wedding preparation seems to be taking forever!" Edward gulped down his wine.

"Oh! Edward don't be jealous! You know you can get married very soon. I'm pretty sure girls would flock around you if you put it on the internet." Rose teased. "I can see the headlines now; _Edward Cullen searching for beautiful wife_" She did a demonstration with her hands.

"No thanks. I am content for now," his lips pulled up into a smile while Tanya shot me an angry glance.

"Bella make a run for it while you still can," Emmett winked gaining another smack on the head offered by Rose.

"Emmett stop teasing your brother. I have told you that you need to leave those habits. I thought I tried my best in your training but it appears Carlisle's genes are stronger than I thought," Esme huffed plucking into her stake.

"My love, Emmett's cockiness most definitely did not come from me!" Carlisle said feigning an annoyed expression.

"Oh it most definitely came from you, you and your brothers!" Esme poked her husband as he tilted his head back in laughter.

I looked around the table and noticed everyone's positions. Alice sat down close to Jasper while they were ogling each other, Emmett and Rosalie were eating from each other's plates, and Esme was filling up Carlisle's glass cup with more wine while Tanya just sat down quietly smiling at the whole scenario playing on the dining table. I almost felt sorry for her, _the poor asswipe._

"You okay?" Edward asked, as he brought our hands up from under the table.

"Yeah," I said over the playful argument Carlisle and Esme were having.

"Okay! If the parents are gonna act like their children fighting over the dining table, I might have to take responsibility." Emmett clanked his glass with his spoon.

"Attention whore!" Rose spat at him.

"No honey bun that's you!"

"Oh man! I am marrying a big baby!" she rolled her eyes and slouched back into the chair.

"But you know I'm not a baby when it comes to--"

"Stop!" Everyone shouted in unison apart from me and then all burst into a boisterous laughter.

"I think we've had enough food for the day." Esme stood up with her plate and headed into the kitchen.

"That was a wonderful meal as always mum," Edward called after her, assisting her with the dishes.

Alice and Jasper seemed to be basking in their own romantic glow, forgetting everyone around them. I felt so much better after my little communication with Jasper even though Tanya still shot daggers at me across the table.

"Let's open the gifts!" Alice bounced off from her seat dragging me along with her toward a bigger room filled with leather couches.

"So, I know you said you didn't want anything, but I took the liberty of getting you this," her face lit up with excitement as she placed the little red bag in my hand.

"Alice what did you get?' I eyed her suspiciously as I opened it to find a beautiful dark brown dress. "Aw…Alice this is so beautiful!" I gave her a hug, silently regretting why I didn't spend a fortune on her gift. "Well, mine isn't so extravagant like yours but here you go," I reached into my purse and placed a small box wrapped in a pink bow on her hands.

"Oh Bella! It's beautiful! Silly, it doesn't have to be extravagant!" she gave me another hug.

"To signify our friendship,"

"Thank you! The fact that you thought about buying me a gift makes it special,"

"I bought Jasper a sketch book,"

"That's so thoughtful of you, he'll be so happy. Apparently, I finished his last one" I handed the sketch pad to her. She went to sit at a nearby couch to inspect her gift.

"That's really nice of you," Two masculine hands wrapped around my waist and I exhaled his lovely scent.

"It's Christmas, everyone deserves gifts," I grinned watching Alice bounce up in excitement at the look of the bracelet.

"Really? So what did you get me?" He swiveled me around to face him with his crooked smile and I think my heart literally skipped a beat or two.

"You'll just have to wait and see," I purred as I immediately lost myself in his eyes. He smelled so good; I couldn't resist but place my head on his shoulders just to inhale more of it.

_Quit it Bella before he thinks you're a fucking freak!_

"You know we could go home right now and get into the Jacuzzi together." His voice was low and deep and sexy as hell.

"That's very tempting,"

"Let's go." He grinned as he went to look for his mom to tell her goodnight.

***

After we exchanged Christmas gifts, Edward and I left back to his house. Esme apologized for not getting a gift for me since she was unaware that I was coming and I explained to her that I wasn't bothered. I was so exhausted after crying my fucking eyes out. I brushed my teeth and stood in front of the mirror to pack my hair into a high ponytail.

"Edward, why are you with me?" I asked casually as he lay on the bed watching me in the bathroom.

"What do you mean?" He asked with a confused expression on his face.

"I mean, why are you with me? Why have I been coming here for the past three months?"

"I am not quite getting you, please elaborate."

"You don't know me and I really don't know you, yet we have some sort of feelings for each other, how's that possible?" I turned back to the mirror.

"Hmm…" he tapped his index finger on his chin pensively. "Well I do know you. So I really don't understand what you're saying." He walked closer to me. "I know that every time you bite your lower lip, it switches my hard on button. I know that when you pick your sleeves or when you bite your nails, you're extremely nervous." He took my hands into his and brushed it with a light kiss sending tremors down my spine. "I know that you are in love with music, different kinds but you prefer rock and you hate country." He wrapped his arms around my waist and turned us to face the mirror. "I know that you hate talking about yourself, which is why I always try and make you comfortable by kissing you but I always get carried away." He placed his hands on my face, turning my face to meet his and I shivered at the close proximity he was with me. "I know that every time I touch you, you get shocked with buzzing electricity which makes you shiver. I know that I have some kind of effect on you because whenever I give you your favorite smile, your cheeks grow red like a tomato." He smiled crookedly and I couldn't help but blush like an idiot. "You love writing and if you had the opportunity you would be a writer. I know that people think that you're a bitch and you're wicked but I know that you have a kind heart and you act that way so people won't come close." He pressed his body against mine and ran his nose along my nape.

"You don't like gadgets and you don't like phones and I have being dying to get you one. You don't like thinking about the future. You don't like attention and you certainly don't like dressing up." He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes at the sensation. "I know that you don't cry or show weakness to anyone. You don't like being vulnerable in front of anyone and you try so hard to push people away when they get close to you." I relished the kisses he planted on my cheeks, nose and lips. "I know there's something eating you up that you won't let me take care of." His head came up and his warm green eyes bored straight into mine which caused me to look away. "I could go on with all the many things I know about you and I'd be able to write a full biography about you, Isabella Swan."

"So…" I mused as he bent down and lavished my neck with soft, sensual kisses. "How do you know that you're not meant to be with Tanya?" I asked as his head rose up to look at me with loving eyes.

"Is that what this is about?" he furrowed his eyebrows as a frown came upon his face.

"No. I mean she knows everything about you like almost everything, that you prefer coffee instead of tea. She knows you are in love with Calvin Klein perfumes, that--" I got cut off by his soft finger on my lips.

"Yeah, she knows everything about me, I get it. But what you don't see as that we know everything about each other, if I were with her, my life would be predictable. We would be fulfilled and it would be entirely boring. But with you," he took my face in his soft palms. "I wouldn't know. It would be an adventure that we could explore together. I want to be the only one who can break you. I want to be the only one who can have the key to the real you. I have studied the little things about you and I find you intriguing and that's what gives me the drive to be with you." He spoke softly.

"But what if, you find out I'm not as exciting as you think I am? What if I finally become predictable? What if you finally come to your senses and see that I can't offer you anything? I don't have money, I don't have an education, a job, I come from a broken home and yours is very--"

"Enough!" he stopped me and took me to the bed. "You're worried that you don't have anything to offer me? You have offered me everything and that is you. I have been in pieces since I met you and you are with the last one that makes me complete." I sat on the bed while he kneeled in front of me. "If you let me, I can show you just how much I care about you; I just need you to let me, can you?" He asked with a burning intensity in his eyes.

_Edward, you're slowly killing me but we will never be equal._

* * *

**There you go! I feel so sorry for Bella. Well she's a tough girl, she'll know what to do. **

****Heart beats faster than Bella's own** Hope you seriously like it, tell me what you think. Any questions you ask would be answered in the following chapters. **


	7. Commitment

**A/N: OMG Guys, you made my week the last time I posted. I got so many emails from reviews and favorite story alerts! I am truly grateful. I wish I could do more for you. **

**I am sorry, it's been long since I updated but life is being a bitch by giving me work so I gotta comply.**

**I made it up to you though by writing a long chapter. I didn't mean to and I hope you'll forgive me but think of it as a gift. **

**So because I like Tanya, I dedicated the song for this to her. Lol. The songs for this chapter are on my profile (at least they should be)**

**Main song – Hunt for you – Teairra Mari (For Tanya) so here we go:**

______________________________________________________________________________

Bella Swan was a beautiful, breathtaking, intelligent, invigorating, inexplicable woman who intrigued me to the extreme. But most of all, apart from her good qualities, she was utterly annoying. I had just opened myself up to her and she had taking my mouth avariciously into hers in a deep alluring sensual kiss. She was very good at distracting the hell out of me, that's for sure. My mind immediately wafted away from our banter that all I could think of was feeling her on me. Her hands roamed aimlessly through my disheveled hair and a thick sensation of lust drove down my spine and ended at my groin which was throbbing painfully through my jeans. I completely lost myself in her mouth as my body pressed further into hers and our hips glided at the contact. I had been with a lot of women, well not technically a lot, I'm not that much of a man slut, but I have been with enough women and none of them made me feel like the way she did. My tongue slid demandingly into her mouth and she moaned as it touched the roof of her mouth. She didn't have a nightgown so she always wore my shirts to sleep which made her sexier than fuck, her small body sinking into the big Phat Farm sweater. My hands worked their way up from her thighs to her stomach as each movement sent tingles to my manhood. Her stomach was so flat and her skin felt soft and silky. She continued gripping my hair while tilting her head to get a better angle at the kiss. Our tongues mauled over each other while we tried to get closer and deeper to each other. I needed her now, I couldn't stand holding her and feeling her close without tasting her. She had succeeded her ultimate goal in sidetracking my conversation about caring for her but I would address that later.

My hands explored every part of her as they brushed past her taut nipples causing her to whimper into my mouth. "Edward--" she cried as I bent down to her nape, sucked and nibbled gently on the soft skin there. I loved hearing my name from her lips, knowing that I was giving her so much pleasure. I continued my trail to her shoulder blades, licking, sucking and tasting every inch of her as her head fell back with closed eyes.

_Well don't start what you can't handle_, I internally smirked as I slowly shoved the big sweater up to her neck while kneeling down to kiss her stomach. _Damn, she tasted so good!_ I licked her belly button and drew the skin beside it lightly as she groaned. My hands cupped her ass as I slowly worked my way up to her sumptuous round breasts freeing them from the clasp of her black bra. Her hands continued running through my tresses of hair as I took her already aroused nipple in between my teeth and she growled. At this point, she took off the sweater and her hot quivering body was now only covered in her black underwear. I paused to admire the sexy creature in front of me and she blushed furiously.

"What?" she croaked in a deep voice probably overwhelmed by desire as she stared at me lustfully.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" I asked looking up at her in awe.

"Edward, I am sure I'm pretty but that's where it stops. I am mostly plain." she chuckled.

I was slightly peeved at the use of her word _plain_ but decided not to express it in order not to spoil the moment. "Well," my voice laced with seduction. "You're beautiful in the sense that every time I look at you," I kissed her thighs. "I gain pleasure just from scoping you even when you're fully clothed. I gain pleasure just from looking at your face. Every time I'm close to you, I get fucking hard with desire. Do you know how insanely you drive me crazy?" I looked up at her with my eyes hooded with lust as I massaged her thighs. "You're not plain! You're dazzling."

"_You_, Edward are dazzling!" she interjected.

"Oh! Shutup!" I huffed.

"But you are! I mean dazzling should be your middle name!"

"Okay fine! I accept! But this isn't about me, it's about you." I lowered my head to the skin exposed below her black panties and peppered kisses on it. I gradually removed the panties to unveil a neat shaven paradise between her legs. I gently placed light kisses on it as her breathing hitched and her grip on my hair was firmer. She badly wanted this, I could tell.

"Fuck! Edward!" her hangs flung to the sink and she gripped it sturdily. "Stop taunting me!"

_Damn, she was hot!_ "But Bella, I am not doing anything!" I smirked as I continued giving her torture. "Has anyone ever tasted you Bella?"

"mmmhhh.." she stammered as she tried to regain control over herself. "Yeah, well kinda."

"Who?" I frowned, feeling a little bit disappointed.

"It wasn't by any customer or anything. It was just with my ex-boyfriend in high school but it was only once."

"Well, I guess I have a competition. I would just have to erase all those memories now. But not here," I carried her bridal-style toward my bed and laid her on the soft sheets. "You have to be comfortable for this. Now my sweet Bella, I am going to make you experience the world of Edward Anthony Cullen." My mouth worshipped her body as it planted kisses on her skin, making its way to her wetness. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Your pussy is already soaking wet and ready craving for me, desiring me, wanting me."

"Edward shutup!" she groaned in frustration as my hot breath poured on her. "Just do me already."

"Ahh! Why make it so easy Bella?"

"You're gonna fucking pay for this, you know that right!" I simpered watching her irritation.

My head bent down and I licked her as she arched her back begging me for more with her body movements. I kissed and sucked her folds as she started to pant in delight. My mouth grazed her entrance and I covered her whole clit with my placid licks. Her hands gripped the sheets as I continued the process of flooding her with ecstasy. She was almost ready now and she tried to move away from me but I wasn't having any of that. She was going to enjoy this to the fullest, no second best, Edward, you have to be number one as always.

"Edward!!!!" she cried my name as she came vigorously and I licked her juices, savoring the taste. Her diet must have been pretty good to make her taste this great. I turned my gaze to her pretty face and smiled at my achievement. "That was pretty fucking amazing," she gushed. "You knocked Mike the hell off my list."

_Congrats Edward! You have graduated the pussy school!_ Her hands searched for mine and she slowly brought me up to her and kissed my lips fervently. Our legs circled around each other as her hands fiddled with the buttons of my jeans. After she removed it hastily, using her feet to slide it down my legs down to the floor with my boxers, I pressed my dick on her entrance and she squirmed. I tried not to allow all my body weight crush her breakable body as I laid on top of her, her hands running hungrily over my body zealously.

"I want you Edward," she spoke between our hot kisses and that statement increased my hard on. "I need you inside of me; I need to feel you, all of you."

I gave her what she asked for and pushed into her as she screamed my name with each thrust. Our bodies began humping in a rhythmic manner as sweat clung to our features while our hands investigated each other part of our bodies. She looked so beautiful with her swollen lips and closed eyes as she wrapped her thighs around my waist wanting more access.

"More Edward," she said in rusty voice and I obliged as I angled our bodies which gave me a deeper thrust. "Fuck! I am close," she whimpered as our bodies dug into each other deeper on top of the sheets. I was almost ready and any moment from now, we might reach second heaven.

"Oh FUCK EDWARD!" she rasped as we violently shook from the powerful orgasm that ripped through us. I devoured her mouth in a kiss as we climaxed together which increased the burning sensation between us.

"Damn Bella!" I exclaimed as I rolled off of her to the other side of the bed, my mind clouded with ecstasy.

"If I wasn't so tired, I would go for round two now!" she smiled as she looked up at me through her gorgeous eyes.

"I am always ready," I replied, sweeping my hair from my eyes.

"I know; you are a pervert!" she teased.

"Only for you," I smiled. "Come here," I said as she snuggled closer to me and I wrapped my hands around her small body, covering us with the big quilt. I kissed her forehead and finally fell asleep.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Edward, wake the fuck up" I heard a sexy voice rumble at the background. I groaned and shifted to my side keeping my eyes closed and trying to get some sleep. "Edward get your lazy ass up!" the voice said slightly frustrated as I tried my best to drown it and go back into a sleep induced state. "What the fuck are you dreaming about?"

_Well it'd be great if Angelina Jolie popped up in my dream but sexy voice has to stop talking._

"Get up!" she said in an exasperated tone as she tugged my covers and shook me softly.

I sighed heavily and opened my eyes. "Why should I get up? Today is a holiday!" I said trying to readjust my pupils to the light in the room.

"For me it's not! Now get the fuck up" Bella stood up from the bed.

"You know a kiss would have been a great way to wake me up! But no, you can't be nice. Aren't you spending the weekend with me, today is Friday." I informed, running my hands through my tousled hair and looked at her direction.

"You're going to have a boy's weekend this weekend and I got work to do." she said pouting her lips as she applied lip balm to her sexy pink lips. _Lips, kissing, Edward snap out of it!_

"It's this weekend?" I hissed throwing the covers away from my body and wearing my boxers lying on the floor.

"Yup." She ran her hands through her hair and placed on her rings.

I walked towards her and wrapped my hands around her waist while resting my head on her chin. _Damn, she felt so good melted in my body like this_. "You know, it's the holidays, everyone deserves one." I said sleepily.

"Yeah but Aro will fire me," she giggled and I leaned into her hair to inhale the scent, _lavender_.

"That won't be such a bad thing, and then you can work for me. You'll be my own personal whore, only for me," my head lingered on her hair.

"Thanks cause that's what I wanna be, Edward Cullen's personal whore," she said with disdain as she pulled away from me.

_Damn! I was a jerk._ "You know that's not what I meant," I closed my eyes and pulled my hair back from sweeping into my eyes.

"Yeah, just get ready." She said with a murky face.

"You know, you could be my girlfriend and I wouldn't mind." I gripped her waist and pivoted her to face me.

"Edward Cullen that's a pretty shitty way to ask a girl to be your girlfriend," the smile I was hoping for curled up her lips.

"How do they do it these days? I have never asked anyone before officially, am I supposed to like kneel down and ask you like I am proposing, because I'll do it in a heartbeat. Just tell me," I flashed my crooked smile.

Her cheeks flared red instantly. "No, I don't want a marriage proposal. Jeez, if you kneel down now what will you do when the marriage proposal comes?"

"Uhh, jump off a cliff?" I scratched my head and gave a slight yawn.

"You're being silly!"

"You still haven't answered my question." I smiled as I leaned into her more.

"I am sorry what was it?" She chuckled turning to face me.

"Isabella Swan. Don't make me say it again." I pretended to scowl.

"I'm serious I forgot. What did you ask?" she placed her arms around my neck while my hands swept past her waist and brought her closer against me.

"Okay, I know you just want to make me feel worse than I do, not that asking you makes me feel worse but like…"

"You're rambling Edward, ask the fucking question!"

"Will you be my frigging beautiful, hot, sexified girlfriend?" I tried to not make it as trite as possible.

"Hmm…I am not sure, you have to sign a contract with me," Her bottom lip made a sexy pout.

"Stating?" My left eyebrow rose skeptically while I gazed into her eyes. She looked so beautiful with her fair flowing in a disarrayed manner over her shoulders.

"Well, that you would be mine alone, no sharing with Tanya. This good here is mine." I grinned as she grabbed my crotch. "And that you won't be a jealous lover, I think it's cute and all but not to the extent where it involves my work."

"Now that's totally not fair considering that I get to share you with other assholes while you don't want to share me with other bitches!"

"That's my job." She said playing with my hair with her arms still wrapped around my neck.

"So what's mine?"

"You're job is to stay beautiful and sexy for me, to make me feel good, to give me amazing sex and pleasure, to be the CEO of your damn company, not to mention a good son to your parents and a good brother to your siblings."

"What about what I want?" I started to sway her around while her hips dug into mine making me hard instantly.

"You don't have an opinion."

"No woman has told me that before." I protested.

"Well no woman has worn your frigging shirt before!"

"Well I have my own damn rules too."

"And what would that be?" her brow rose slightly.

"Since I am sharing you, make sure you always make them wear a condom, I want to be the only that feels your walls."

"I do that already asshat! You're the only one I allow not to wear a condom with me, Aro doesn't allow us have unprotected sex."

"I feel so fucking special." I said in a satirical tone that she usually uses with me.

"You better be! You're paying a whole damn worth! Plus I can't imagine how you'd feel with one."

"Okay, you're getting a phone. I already got you one and you can't do anything about it!"

"Edward Cullen!" her face contorted.

"No no no! no buts!" I stopped her protests with my index finger to her lips.

"I hate it when you spend money on me. You're paying an awful lot just making me spend the nights and weekends with you."

"Does it look like I am complaining?"

"You're not using the company's money are you?" a worried expression crossed her face.

"It's my money!" I objected.

"What if I sap you dry and then you don't have money anymore. And--"

She looked so cute when she was worrying about me. "No, trust me, I have more than enough. The Cullen's have an industry too and we really do a lot of business over the world. Emmett and I already established that even though Carlisle had a hand in it."

"I still feel guilty."

"Don't be, you're worth every fucking penny. I'll pay anything to have you branded as mine." _I really will._

"You're exaggerating." She hit my head playfully.

"No I'm not!"

"Okay, are those all the necessary requirements?"

"Uhm," I tapped my chin. "I want you to reduce your smoking habits."

"What?" She stared at me in disbelief.

"I am not saying you should quit. I just don't want you to smoke too much."

"Why? Does it bug you?" she stared at me confoundedly.

"Not really, actually you taste really good when you've had a cigarette. But in my personal opinion, I want to be the only thing you're addicted to." I smiled. _This is just downright cheesy._

"That's so fucking corny and you know it!" she huffed. "You're jealous of a cigarette!"

"That makes me more pathetic, right?"

"Yeah it fucking does! And it makes you weird too." She laughed.

"I don't care!"

"Fine, I'll reduce it. But I know it isn't about you being jealous of a cigarette. You're worried for my health and you can't fucking say it because you'll feel less like a man."

"That doesn't make sense! I am a man already!"

"Yes, but I am going with that reason, it makes it less ludicrous for me to reduce it."

"Good! So are we done here? Have you agreed?"

"Yes,"

"Now say it!" I insisted.

"Say what?"

"That you're my fucking girlfriend!"

"I just said yes,"

"Yeah but I want to hear you say it."

"Okay Edward, I am your fucking girlfriend." She rolled her eyes.

"See…that wasn't so hard for you, now was it?"

"Easy for you to say now get your dumbass to the shower. I need to be at work with the speed of light."

"Okay ma'am." I entered the bathroom carrying a fresh new white towel from my wardrobe.

**______________________________________________________________________________**

"Alice it's totally not as bad as you think it is!" I heard Bella's voice flood the room as I descended down the stairs.

"I can't. I don't know. It just seems _raw_." Alice countered.

"What's so raw about _fuck_?"

"It's vulgar and sounds dirty." Alice said in a squeaky voice.

"No it doesn't. It's like every other _damned_ word." Bella argued as I stood by the doorway watching them bickering at each other.

"Then how come you don't say it to your boss."

"I do say it to my boss." Bella took a sip of her drink watching Alice play with her cup on the kitchen counter.

"And he hasn't fired you for speaking immorally?" she gave her an incredulous look.

"Well he says it too!"

"You're preposterous." She folded her arms on her chest.

"I know." Bella paused. "But you say _shit _and you say _damn_. So why can't you just complete it and say _fuck_?"

"'Cause that sounds raw!"

"Alice, you're a baby. It's just a fucking word. It can be used as a noun, a verb like _fucking_, like when you use the word _bringing_, or as an adjective or interjection. It seems like every normal word to me." She shrugged swinging her legs up and down the stool.

"I see you're teaching Alice the _bloody _use of expletives." I said intruding into the conversation.

Bella wore a pair of baggy jeans with a big grey sweater that hid all her curves from me while Alice wore a silk brown nightgown. Both were drinking coffee.

"Alice is funny!" Bella laughed.

"Edward, Bella is spoiling me." She said with the puppy dog look.

"Alice, Jasper already did that, Bella is just placing the finishing touches," I teased as I gave my small sister a good morning hug.

"You're a very--" she got cut off by Bella.

"Bad motherfucker." Bella cut her off. "Alice, say it!" her fists pounded the counter.

"No!" she giggled and buried her face in my chest as I stroked her soft short spiky hair.

"Alright Edward let's go. I am _fucking_ late," she smirked towards Alice's direction.

"Alice, I'll be back soon. Where's Jasper?"

"He went to pack his things. Bella are you sure you don't wanna come? I am going to miss you."

"No, I'll pass. Edward needs to have some _man_ time."

"Okay but remember, we are having a New Year's Eve party and you have to be there! Plus Jasper's band is coming to play and I think he wants you to perform a song with him."

"Alice, I think you're on first class crack!"

"Nope. I am not taking no for answer."

"_Fuck _**no**!" she scoffed.

"_Hell_ **yes**!" Alice growled. "Now don't argue with me and do as I say!"

"Ugh! Edward I hate your sister, can we kill her and bury her somewhere?"

"Yeah sure, we'll put pink flowers on her grave and use the finest coffin." I leered.

"Not until Jasper kills you guys first!" Alice chuckled.

"Okay let's go. Alice, I'll be right back." I kissed her forehead and took Bella's hand as we headed out of the kitchen.

It was a short drive to the brothel because there wasn't any traffic and the ride was quiet as usual. The car's sound system blasted _Right Round _by Flo rida as I parked at the corner of the building and turned my gaze to Bella who was clinging to the sweater she wore. She ran a hand through her hair as I reached out for a bag at the back seat of the car. I handed the box containing the phone and she dug her hand in the bag to bring it out. Then she slapped me. "What?" I said with a perplexed expression on my face.

"You got me a frigging Iphone? What the hell?" her voice rose a little bit higher.

"I thought when you bought girls something, they'd usually squeal, hug and then kiss you."

"That is done on TV and in the world of Alice Cullen. This is fucking expensive," she said inspecting the box.

"Well I thought, since you like music so much, you'd want an iPod and the phone is for my benefit. What better way to save money? Plus you don't have to stress yourself pressing buttons since its touch screen."

"Smartass!" she poked my ribs.

"There was a reason why I was on the dean's list," I announced proudly.

"Quit being arrogant!" she huffed.

"Quit being adamant!" I smirked.

"You really shouldn't have!" her eyes returned back to the case.

"I know but I did so deal with it!" she opened it and I turned it on for her. "I have already put everything in place, your music and my phone number and Alice's own are in the contacts."

"You're a sweet jerk," she smiled sweetly as she scrolled and inspected the music list on the IPod.

"Yeah, that's not all;" I said reaching over to the back seat of the car to get the brown notebook.

"There's more?" she asked in aghast while I chuckled and handed the book to her.

"What's this for?"

"For writing, you can write whatever you want; your thoughts, a novel, anything."

"Oh Edward," she sang jovially while opening the book, hands flipping through the pages. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome." I replied. "I'll see you on Wednesday?"

"Yeah, Aro is travelling out for a week or two so I can skip karaoke."

"Okay then. Now get the fuck out of my car!" I joked as she placed the phone and its carton inside her small duffel bag.

"Bye Edward," she giggled as she placed a soft kiss on my lips and jumped out of the car.

_At least, there was progress today_, I thought as I pulled away from the street and turned to the direction of home. I had succeeded in making her my girlfriend and I was entirely shocked I had made that decision. But I needed her to be more than my girlfriend. I needed her to trust me, to tell me what was bothering her so much, her dreams always confirmed there was something amiss. I wanted her to share herself completely with me and let me know of her past and what made her turn to this kind of lifestyle. I wasn't contented knowing that she slept with other men; I had tried to suppress that into another part of my unconscious so she wouldn't think I was covetous. Apparently, Aro allowed them to have boyfriends but if the guy went hail wire and started interrupting their working relationship, they were asked to cut them off. Bella was a hard case to crack when it came to a feeling like trust and I knew I had to work my way to prove to her I could be worth it. I just needed to help her and then maybe I would feel complete, knowing she was happy.

When I got home, Jasper had picked Alice up and they were on their way to Seattle, I quickly packed some of my clothes and made my way to my car. I completely couldn't fathom why Emmett wanted us to go to Seattle for the weekend. Maybe he was tired of seeing our parent's faces, God knows I was. My father had engaged me in a strict discussion on how bad I was treating Tanya leaving her at their place without any visits or contacts. And I argued my way out of it but I knew it wouldn't hold for long. Carlisle was a very close friend of the Denali's and he respected their parents very well so his disappointment about me treating Tanya badly was no surprise at all. I didn't want to make any promises but I said that I will try and put an effort into visiting her. I told him I was already dating someone else but he didn't even allow me to branch off to that topic with the disapproving look on his face. My darling mother wasn't helping matters either. She seemed to have created a close relationship with Tanya while they were living together. She kept on telling me about how sweet and respectful Tanya was like as if I was going to eat that shit. I have nothing to hold against Tanya, I personally think she is an attractive woman but she is just not for me. I don't believe in crap like someone being made specifically for someone else but I know definitely that Tanya wasn't what I wanted.

After a long drive, I finally reached my destination. It was one of our hotels established in Seattle and Emmett suggested we stay there. I disagreed staying here considering it reminded me of work and I didn't want to think of that on my short leave. Yes, I am the boss but I tried not to use that opportunity in being languorous. I took my work very seriously.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen. We have been expecting you. Your brother has arrived and he said you should call him when you get here. Here is your room key. The pent suite, perfect as always," the concierge said with a flirty smile playing around her lips.

"Thank you very much." I said, grabbing the card from her hand and making my way for the elevator. I was so worn out. I hadn't fully rested since the family dinner especially when I was engrossed in so much work prior to that.

The room was perfect as the concierge said. The huge suite consisted of a small living room which had small white couches with a black tainted glass coffee table, a bedroom that had lilac sheets and pillow cases with a lamp beside the bedside. The side of the room had a glass wall in which an amazing view protruded through it. Everything was classy as always and smelt like freesia. I dropped my bag on the floor next to the bed stand and laid my fatigued body on the soft mattress as I let my eyes close.

"Edward!" I heard Emmett call my name after what could have only been a few minutes. "Edward wake up man, I have been waiting for you since." What was with everyone and disturbing me today?

"Where are the girls?" I asked as I opened my weary eyes to look at him staring at the view.

"They went shopping," Jasper said as he entered the room and shut the door behind him.

"If this is a guy's weekend, I really don't understand why we brought girls with us." I sat up from the bed.

"Rose promised she won't interrupt us and I'm gaining something in the night so I didn't see a problem with the offer." He said with a grin, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"It's so funny that the almighty play '06, the ladies charmer, is finally settling down. Rose got you wrapped all around her perfect manicured fingernails." I smirked. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't know Edward," he laughed as Jasper sat down on one of the chairs, pulling out a cigarette. "I just walked down a tunnel one day and I saw a big fucking shiny bright light and I realized it was time to grow the fuck up, you know. Like, I have explored it all but no girl has given it to me, the way Rosalie goes. She's not afraid, she voices her opinions, and she keeps up with me. She is just _it_, man. What is the point waiting when she fills my void?" he paused and then continued, "Speaking of voids, you need to give Tanya a chance, she came all this way for you and you haven't paid her a visit at least once." He finished, walking to the fridge and taking out a beer. _Great! Even Emmett was concerned for her._

"I don't have anything to offer her Emmett, I am with someone else." He tossed me one and I opened the bottle in a fluid motion.

"Yeah, but you should make that clear to her, tell her flat out that you don't want her." He chugged down some of his beer. "You could use this opportunity to tell her."

"What do you mean?" I asked as my forehead creased into a frown.

"Well, Rose didn't think that she should stay at dad's place while we all went out, so she invited her so we could be just like old times," he turned back to the view.

"What the hell?!!" I fumed. "Emmett, are you sick? Why the fuck did you do that?"

"You needed to tell her" he turned his attention back to me.

"Is this weekend about Tanya and me or about you hanging out with us?" I furrowed my brows.

"It's about me; Tanya is just a case you need to get out of the way."

"I can't believe this" I ran my hands through my hair. I had left home, thinking this would be the escape from her and yet she's here, I shuddered. "Jasper, please give me a cigarette,"

"Thought you quit?" he looked at me in bewilderment.

"Well, I have started again now hand it over!" I replied in frustration as he gave me the pack of cigarettes and his lighter. I cursed myself internally at how Bella would think I was a hypocrite if she found out I had a cigarette in my hands.

"Edward she's not that bad you know." Emmett butted in again as I took a drag of my cigarette. I hadn't had one since months and it felt really good after a few coughs.

"It's not that. I am with Bella now" I said as I felt a wave of glee blew through me. _I am with Bella now_, I repeated the words in my head. It felt so right to say it; she was my girlfriend. I felt accomplished in a way.

"Is it serious Edward?" Jasper asked as I tapped the end of the stick in a glass bowl beside the bed.

"Yeah, it is."

"Edward, remember when you met that girl, what's her name? Sophia? When you thought she was the one?" Emmett asked with his lips curving to a smile at the thought he had.

"Yeah, that was different."

"She didn't do anything Edward, the next day you came back and was like she bored the crap out of you." Jasper laughed, as he picked up a sprite can from the fridge.

"She did though. I don't know; she just didn't feel right." I defended.

"It was three days Edward!" Emmett boomed. "You didn't even give her a damn chance!"

"I rushed it. It was partly my fault for thinking she was special just after two days." I argued.

"Edward, the truth is when commitment approaches, you budge. You can't do it." Jasper scoffed, bending the lid of the can. "How are you sure you're ready now?"

"With Bella it's different. I am the one who said she should be my girlfriend. I normally don't do that."

"No Edward, they just assume they are your girlfriend," Emmett said contemptuously.

"Exactly, we have been together for _three_ months and I finally took the step to ask her recently. I have known her for _three_ months so I am sure that if there was a problem, I would have caught it within those _three _months," I emphasized, trying to make my point clear.

"You're gonna run soon, Edward. The only reason this has been going on for that long is because you didn't call it official yet. Once its official, you're gonna escape. That's your nature and I know this cause I used to be like you." Emmett slumped into the small chair beside Jasper.

"Well, Emmett, you found your calling. I am finding mine, so there really isn't a difference." I snapped back with irritation.

"Just saying Bro, don't add another angry bitch to the mob that'd appear to murder your wife on your wedding day," he joked.

"She is special Edward, don't fuck it up!" Jasper said with a threatening voice.

"I know!" I took a sharp intake of air into my lungs. I didn't need their advice on anything. I wasn't going to fuck this up, not now, not ever. She was different; I felt it when I touched her. And I didn't need to convince them of that fact.

After our conversation, Jasper, Emmett and I went downstairs to play pool. Then we decided to go out and have a little fun before the girls got back. Shopping was a major distraction for them and it really helped us have some male bonding time. A few games, gym, and a couple of drinks later, I was back into my sanctuary with my drowsy eyes on the bed. I was just about to continue my sweet sleep when I heard a knock on the door. _Damn it! Can't I get at least some sleep?_ I grumbled and threw the covers over, heading to open the door.

"Hey Edward," Tanya smiled as I looked at her through my sleepy eyes. "I am so sorry for disturbing you, I just---" she seemed to be lost for words so I decided to help.

"You can come in," I said as I felt a massive headache coming my way.

"Thank you," she replied as I shut the door behind her.

"So is there anything you wanted?" I asked as I resumed my position on the bed. I really needed Bella's massage now; my back was beginning to ache.

"Not really," she said. Silence came upon the room and I was slowly leaving earth again until she spoke. "I miss you Edward," she said in a faint voice, I almost thought I imagined it.

_And I miss sleep_, I groaned and sat up. "Tanya---" I started but got caught off.

"Edward, I have been here since and you haven't given me the light of day! What did I do? Tell me let me fix it." She dropped to her knees beside me and ran her hands down my thighs.

"You didn't do anything wrong and there's nothing broken that you have to fix." I pushed her hands away, I was becoming grouchy by the second and I didn't want to be mean.

"Then why are you acting this way? Like you're repulsed by me? You don't want me anymore?" her face fell in disappointment.

"Yes, Tanya. I don't want you. I am in a relationship now, a good one and I intend to keep it that way." I tried to say it in a soft tone; I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was one girl that would probably be around for a long while till I die. I didn't really need her being angry with me.

"Edward Cullen doesn't commit," she said and I rolled my eyes. _What's with everyone and that word today?_

"Yeah well, I have changed." I leaned back into the bed.

"It's that bitch isn't it?" she stood up and placed her hands on her hips with infuriation.

"Excuse me?"

"Bella the bitch!"

"Don't you dare call her that!" Anger grazed my features. I was really trying to be calm but she was beginning to annoy the crap out of me.

"She has brainwashed you!" she threw her hands in exasperation.

"Tanya, I am sorry but maybe we need to take you to the hospital. You're showing symptoms of psychosis." I said trying to lighten my mood.

"I am not psychotic Edward; she has you all over her palms. She's playing you like a fucking piano! She just wants to use you for your damn money!"

"That's enough Tanya. I respect you but if you dare throw false accusations against my girlfriend, I would not take it." I snapped.

"Don't you see Edward? I care for you and I will not let any harm come your way." She came back to touch me on the bed.

"Tanya, I am a guy, a man. No matter what Emmett thinks, I have a dick and I don't have boobs. I can take care of myself thank you." I shifted her hands away from me.

"Edward, why won't you listen to me?"

"Tanya, why won't you leave me the fuck alone? I am a very soft person but I swear if you get on my fucking nerves, you wouldn't like me when I am angry!"

"Edward, I am not going to stop loving you. I know you have feelings for me. Just tell me what I can do to make it right. I can make it right. Remember when my family and I used to come for visits and you and I used to spend time together?" she said with forlorn.

"Tanya, that was a long time ago," I placed my right arm over my head.

"Yes Edward, but it meant something to me! You shared my bed!" she said with tears in her blue eyes. "It wasn't just sex to me! It was more!"

"Well I'm sorry you felt that way, I truly am. But I am with Bella now," I said getting another shock of contentment saying those words again. Damn! Romance could turn a man into a whimp!

"That's nonsense Edward!" she said. "Please,"

"I really do need to sleep. Tanya, we could talk about this later."

"Okay," she said desolately and turned to the door. "Edward, I won't stop loving you and I would fight for you. I will make it right." She said before finally leaving.

I took in a deep breath and turned off the lamp. I was in some real deep shit! I knew those nights were gonna come back and hunt me. Tanya needed to get this whole thing straight, there was no way there was gonna be an "Us". My phone beeped and I squinted my eyes to see a text from Bella:

_Hey Loser! I was bored and so I decided to check on you! Don't flatter yourself, you're not that special. I know you're missing me, all my kisses and caresses. It's okay Edward, you can tell me_.

I laughed and sent her a reply:

_Bella, if you're horny, I understand. You don't need to pretend. It's not embarrassing! Unfortunately, I can't do dirty texting right now. I need to meet the love of my life right now, and she is waiting for me._

A few minutes later, my phone beeped.

_What the hell? Who is she? Edward! Don't use my goods!_

I laughed again before punching the letters to send her my reply:

_It's just sleep Bella, sleep. No one else has access to your goods. I promise. But I gotta leave you now. Stop being jealous of sleep!_

Her reply came in after some seconds.

_Goodnight Handsome, ttyl._

I smiled and finally drifted off to sleep, maybe she could meet me in my dreams or we could try Angelina again.

**Well, hope you liked it! Let me know either ways. Bella up next, I kinda miss the brothel and Renee, so they are up next! Plus we'll all get to find out how Tanya knew Bella was working at the brothel. Right now, Edward doesn't know that she knows, he thinks she is just taking any measures to have him to herself.**


	8. Life's really the hardest thing

**Hello Guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! Trust me, they are treasured GREATLY!**

**Few things before we start……..I decided to give you guys little insights into the brothel and Bella's past, cause that's highly needed. Everything was already planned and it had to be this way for a reason.**

**This is a very………………..chapter (I'm not sure what to say; maybe you could help me describe it in your reviews, I really want to know what emotion I displayed in this chapter).**

**Song for this chapter - Nobody's home – Avril Lavigne**

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**BELLA**

"Hey B, you alright?" Heidi asked as I played with a heap of snow with the heel of my six inch shoe and taking slow pulls of my cigarette. The ground looked iced and snow was piled up at the sides of the road plus it was fucking freezing.

"Yup," I smiled as I looked up at her, she frowned a bit noticing the smile didn't go all the way to my eyes.

It was past nine in the evening; the sun had sunk to the lower part of the earth leaving the night to betray me as my worst part of the day crept up. Usually, my Friday nights used to be the best parts of the day except for the ones like these where I didn't get to sleep at Edward's place. Going to his place felt more like I was going home after a long week of work. I hardly acknowledged that I was working when I was around him. Even though, I did get reminded when he gave me a cheque. Whenever I was with him, I instantly forgot all my troubles and suffering. I was spoilt by the doses of his presence, I badly needed him and I hated that feeling. Now that I wasn't with him, every disaster in my life flooded back in full force slowly drowning me into a black river.

Everything had become totally worse; it took me a great deal to be mentally stable at this point. The dreams had become more gruesome and vivid now. They also had a slight development; they now contained some grotesque memories from my past like when Phil tried to rape me and Charlie's last banter before he left us. It also included splitting images of everyone leaving me at some point in my life, first Charlie, then Mike and then Renee. Luckily Edward hadn't done anything yet to create nightmares of him leaving me even though I knew that was inevitable.

It had been long since I had a dream about Charlie and I shuddered as my idle mind recalled one lucid memory of him struggling with Renee.

"_You can't leave me Charlie, I left everything for you" my mother cried as she followed him down the stairs._

"_Renee, I just can't do this anymore. We fight every day; I am totally not cut out for this crap. I just don't love you as much as I used to," He said callously as he dragged his box down the stairs. My mother held her heart in shock._

"_What of Isabella? You're gonna abandon her? She needs you. Our income has to become combined for her to go to school. She can't….you can't just leave." She clung to his legs as he shoved her back lightly._

"_Well, I am sorry Renee, but you'd have to figure that on your own!" he said, he hadn't realized that I was on the base of the stairs listening to him._

"_She is your daughter! You're gonna just leave her like that?"My mother's voice cracked as she stared at him in aghast._

"_She can handle it, she is smart." He said with a tone of finality._

"_She is seven for God's sake." my mother's face looked so pale and heartbroken. _

Betrayal was a constant thing in my life, someone always ended up betraying me before they took the final step and left. Leaving was the second thing, hence the hard exterior I built around myself. I believed if you didn't let anyone into your heart or even your mind, then they didn't get the chance to betray you with it. Unfortunately, the result came with consequences, because if you couldn't let someone in, how in the bloody hell were they supposed to help? Trust was difficult for me. I couldn't trust anyone. I did have levels of trust for some people though. I trusted my mother to a certain extent, but I felt she'll still leave me anyway just like my father did. I kinda trusted Edward too, and I really wasn't sure why.

I agreed to be his girlfriend because of my selfish reasons. First of all, I didn't think being a girlfriend was something profound and since I thought so, there was no harm it could cause right? Secondly, I needed him. I needed him mentally, physically and emotionally. I was so fucked up that Edward seemed to be the only person that added a sense of balance in my life. He was my fire that kept me warm when everywhere else was cold. He was the only thing that brought light to my darkness, he was my sun. He was the only source of happiness and normalcy in my life because I was beginning to lose it slowly. I needed him like a fucking drug, like the fucking air that I breathed and that might sound very shitty but it was the truth.

However, the fact that I needed him scared the fucking daylight out of me. I needed my two parents like that and look where it got me. I needed Mike and he abandoned me. I needed God and he left me and now I needed Edward and let's face it, he was going to leave me. Because anything good, doesn't reside with me, I was even shocked, he had stayed this long. This was the main reason I didn't want to let him see the real me. I was broken and no matter how much he tried, he wouldn't be able to fix me. This was one of the main reasons I wasn't good enough for him, with money and status being the second.

My main focus was on Renee right now, and until she was completely well taken care of and healthy, then I could chase after my life. After all, she had sacrificed everything for me to send me to school, so I could be a young independent woman. She said she didn't want me to be like her leaning on Charlie. Well, if she could see me now, she'd be pretty disappointed.

"Bella, are you sure you're alright?" Heidi asked as concern drowned her hazel eyes.

"Yeah sure," I answered and placed my straight emotionless expression mask on.

"You seem to be out of it for the past few weeks, is mom okay?" she asked, dusting an invisible speck from her red mini skirt.

Renee was….sick. She was ill and getting worse by the minute. The doctors had carried out a couple of biopsies to check the arteries linked with some specific organs. They had removed some of the damaged arteries that couldn't cause harm if they were eradicated. My stomach twisted into a knot as I recalled the vile memory of what the doctor had said the day I stopped by to visit her.

"_Bella, we carried a few biopsies and some of the damaged arteries were removed. However, a rupture occurred some days ago that we didn't notice. And unfortunately, the platelet caused some of the clotting to mix with a lipid pool in the body causing a thrombus." Dr. Laurent looked at me carefully, trying to ensure I won't pass out before he continued. "Now, the thrombus is gonna grow and when it does, it's going to float throughout the body and block certain arteries and veins in the body. Once this happens, oxygenated and deoxygenated blood won't be able to flow which will eventually lead to cell death. We are going to run a few series of tests to see if we can locate it before any of that happens while she is on statins (a drug). I just thought I should let you know," he took my hands in his and rubbed them sympathetically. "This is hard for you and I know; I assure you I am doing the best I can." He said with a hint of pity. _

She was getting better a few weeks ago, before the rupture occurred. It was amazing how things could turn around in a few days. Nothing was ever steady, hell, even life wasn't.

"Bella?" I heard Heidi call my name in distress as she shook me out of my reverie. "Are you sure you're okay? Look, if you can't do this, this night, I can inform Victoria so she can permit you to stay back!"

"I am fine," I put up a smile long enough to convince her I was fine. "Why Victoria? Is she Aro's new--" I tried an attempt to change the topic, it worked.

"Have you been here?" Heidi asked with an incredulous expression on her face.

"Yeah," I said, loosening the tight bun on my hair.

"Well I can understand if your head is filled with Edward Cullen," she smirked, leaning on her side on the wall and folding her arms. "Aro has been sleeping with Victoria for some time now."

"So? Aro sleeps with everyone!" I said, still not understanding.

She looked at me in disbelief. "He put her in charge of the brothel while he went on the visit to his brother." She said as Angela approached us with a smile.

"Hey Bella, haven't seen you around much." She said as she stood beside me, snapping her gum.

"Yeah me too. What's up?"

"Angela has a boyfriend, his name is Ben." Heidi giggled as Angela shot a scowl look toward her direction. "And he's cute too!" and Angela's face glowed like that of a tomato.

"I met him at Walmart, when I went to do groceries." She fiddled with her hands while keeping her face down in disappointment.

"Does he know?" I asked; tucking my hair behind my ears as the chilled wind broke loose.

"No not yet, I am not sure how he's gonna take it. And I don't want to scare him away, at least not yet. Let me just enjoy this happiness, you know." She smiled ruefully and I nodded.

I glanced around and observed some girls standing at the other side of the building, talking and laughing. My gaze stopped at one of them who were standing by the north corner of the building. Her name was Jane; she was pretty, pale skin, long blonde hair and a long plain face. She was seventeen years old; one of the youngest girls in the brothel that Aro recently abducted. She never engaged with any of the other girls and everyone tended to avoid her except when necessary. Heidi detested her because she couldn't understand her story considering that she wanted to get married and leave the brothel, while Jane was doing the opposite and throwing it all away. Yes, Heidi believed in love and felt pity for her to some extent but then she felt getting married was better than sleeping with countless numbers of men especially at her young age, even if she was going to be eighteen in a few months.

I skipped past her and my eyes stopped at the bitchy exchange Lauren gave Leah as her and Jessica walked by. Lauren had been avoiding Leah like a plague, more like she had a serious contagious disease. Apparently, Leah who was new to the brothel stole one of Lauren's regulars. One day they broke into a cat fight, since then they became fucking rivals. Leah could throw some grown ass punches though because after the wrestling, Lauren did receive a mark on the left side of her face that she'll never forget.

"Oh man! That was some crazy fight!" Heidi laughed as she watched the Leah smirk towards Lauren's direction.

"I had no clue, Leah could fight though. I was still amazed. Did you see Lauren's face the next morning? She had disfigured the shit out of it." Angela mustered, placing another gum into her mouth.

"Serves Lauren right, I mean I know Lauren is older and Leah is kinda a newbie but we are all prostitutes, no man is our man for sure. Our duty is to please them and get the fuck out of there, no questions asked. No point for fighting over a customer, there are plenty fishes in the sea." Heidi placed a cigarette at the back of her ear and lit another one.

"Uh oh" Angela squeaked as a red 360 spider Ferrari drove past us and stopped in front of a group of girls I couldn't recognize. "Here we go; it's like every man for himself."

"What?" I asked dazed, as I stared in the direction of the car, admiring it. A handsome man came out of the car wearing a grey shirt, a black pair of jeans and a black leather jacket. His hair was black, short and cropped to the back. He shoved his hands in his pockets looking suave and sleek as he leaned on the car while the girls threw themselves over him.

"Oh! You haven't been regular for Friday nights! Well since Aro employed some new bitches, there has been a little struggle on who gets the most customers." Angela explained; popping her gum as three of us watched the guy.

"Guess we have fresh meat here, there is gonna be some pouncing on very soon." Heidi laughed as one of the girls flashed her tits to the guy. "Now that's just a bad way to do it!" she nodded her head in disapproval. "Didn't Aro teach these new sluts anything?" she turned to me and asked, "Bella, you up for the challenge?"

"With him?" I asked, confounded as I stared at the handsome man. He was over six feet tall with tan skin and a body that looked like it popped out from an Abercombie and Fitch catalogue. He definitely was hot but Edward was hotter. "I don't think I am up for it," I shook my head and leaned against the wall.

"Come on Bella, is it Edward Cullen?" she blew a puff of smoke to my direction. _Well, yes. Won't that be classified as cheating?_

"No, I am just not in the mood to get with that type of guy," I shrugged.

"Then who are you in the mood for? Broke ass drunkards?" she galled as her face creased into a frown.

"I am not sure," I chewed the inside of my mouth; my instincts were just against it. _Edward was definitely fucking with my system. _

"Well bitches, I am off, Angela you coming?" she turned her head to Angela who nodded no in response.

"Ugh! I am surrounded by soft bitch ass dykes!" she stomped her foot in irritation. "Now watch me and see how it's done." She smiled wickedly and walked off towards the car and the handsome guy.

I watched as she swayed her hips to the Ferrari and the group of girls parted like the red sea as she passed them. She seemed to be making a conversation. It looked like she asked him for a lighter, because in a minute, he lit her cigarette for her and opened the passenger front door of the car. She turned and gave us the look that stated _now that's how it's done_. Angela and I smiled as she entered the car and shut the door.

As they drove off, I noticed one of my regulars driving towards me, Mr. Alistair Cromwell. "Well that's my cue! Hope you get lucky today," I said to Angela as she gave me a good luck sign.

"Hi Mr. Cromwell," I said, as I entered his car.

The dumbass didn't reply. Well, I was used to him by now. He had been my customer for about a year now. He was miserably married with two boys and ever since his wife gave birth, he couldn't sleep with her anymore. He said she had increased in body weight and no longer found her sexy and appealing. He wasn't exactly rich, but he was comfortable. He was an engineer at one of the companies. We finally arrived at his local spot, one of the motels, we usually went to. I am sure everyone already knew me there but at this point I really didn't give a rat's ass.

After we reached the cheap ass room, He flung his jacket on the bed and sat down. He seemed to be in a bad mood today and I really didn't want to get on his nerves, considering the last time I did, I almost got raped. No need to repeat itself today.

"Get on your knees bitch and service me!" he commanded as I quickly dropped to my knees and zipped his jeans open, releasing his massive penis out of his blue boxers.

"Now suck it!" he pushed my head to his aroused cock. I pulled my hair back and took his whole length into my mouth as he let out an agonized hiss.

He pulled my hair in a tight twist as he shoved himself into the walls of my mouth. "Suck harder, whore!" I deep throated him and tried my best not to gag. _Yeah, he definitely was in a bad mood today_.

I was not really in the mood too and I'm sure he could tell because he kept giving me directions to pleasure him which never happened apart from the first day I was taught to do this by Aro. I used my teeth to slightly graze over his balls as I continued sucking his cock harder into my mouth. I started adding more pressure as his body vibrated on the bed. My hands gripped his bare naked ass for support while he continued screwing my mouth.

"That's it bitch! Fuck… I'm coming," he writhed and held my head firmly in place, informing me he wanted me to swallow his release.

I swallowed all of it down and licked the tip of his cock to clean him up. He laid down still for a minute, while I prayed that he would let me go. Aggressive sex with him was definitely rape.

"She is such a stupid bitch! I caught her cheating on me today! She was motherfucking cheating on me! Does she know who I am? I could beat the hell out of her fat ass!" he threw his hands in the air exasperatedly.

Great! Just what I needed today, he was gonna tell me about this right now. His life always had to be discussed like as if I gave a damn about it. He thought he had problems, he didn't have jack!

"Remove your clothes! I need to relieve myself of this anger!" he raked his hair as he removed his jeans.

I removed my black leather skirt, my boob tube blouse and slid off my panties. Alistair never kissed me with his lips, and I didn't even want him to. He was only concerned in pleasuring himself, he was never gentle. Hell, he only roughly groped me and fucked me.

"We are doin' it doggy style today!" he said as I got on the bed and into my position.

Every time he was angry, he always did it doggy style. He wanted to prove that he was the man and the dominant in his relationship. I just couldn't understand why he couldn't do that to his wife after all it was her who he was trying to proving it to. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself. He slipped on a condom and approached me on the bed.

I stayed on my fours, and held my hair back as he pumped in and out of me, riding me like a horse. Well I guess that was the point anyway.

"Damn! Your walls are fucking slick and tight!" he groaned as he continued, in out, in out.

I tried to make my mind drift towards other things apart from what was happening in the room. I could hear the horn noises blowing out from cars, people laughing and drinking, and music blasting from speakers, just the usual Friday night. My mind wafted to what Edward was doing at this moment on their trip. I pictured me being with him as he caressed me softly and kissed me tenderly. I closed my eyes and imagined his face, his sexy body under me, his soft hands and his sex hair. I bit my lip as my mind recalled how sweet and delicious he tasted.

Alistair's body quivered as he became rigid and came. He collapsed on my back and his hands squeezed my breasts painfully. I whimpered as some tears fell from my eyes at the excruciating pain.

"That was good," he finally fell off my back and rolled to the side of the bed. "Did you---?"

"Yeah," I lied and got up, putting on my clothes. It's not like it would change anything if I had an orgasm or not. It was all for his pleasure. "That would be all, right?" I asked as I wore my skirt.

"Yes, your money is on the desk." He pointed to the desk where a white envelop lay with cash inside.

"Thanks," I grabbed it, wore my coat and made my way out of the room.

I was tired and my legs were tired but I really needed to make it back to Volterra. I passed the concierge who gave me a nasty look. I responded giving her a look that said fuck you. I caught a cab and made it back to the brothel. I took a hot shower, brushed my mouth briskly and lay on the bed. I sent a text to Edward but he wanted to sleep so I decided to let him. I smiled at our texting banter and waited for the dark pool to envelope me.

"_Uncle Phil, Daddy isn't around now. He'll be back soon; would you like something to drink while you wait for him?" I asked as I walked into the living room. _

"_No Bella, I am okay. Come sit with me." He beckoned me to his direction._

_I walked slowly and sat on the chair beside him. He frowned and then carried me to sit on top of his laps. "That's better," he smiled wickedly. "Oh Bella, you've turned to a beautiful girl, do you know that?"_

_I nodded ingenuously as he took my hair and placed it behind my ears. "More beautiful than your mother and your father combined." He placed a soft kiss on the back of my palm._

"_I was going to wait for you to grow older so I can marry you, do you know that?" He closed his eyes as his fingers traced the side of my face. I immediately felt fear and tried to remove myself from his grasp. "Oh Bella, I have been waiting for us to be alone for me to show you how much I love you." I screamed as his hands tightened around my wrists, his nails digging into my skin. "Shh, do you want daddy to see you misbehaving?"_

_I quietly shook my head no as his hands traced down my thighs. "Good girl," he whispered as his lips touched the crook of my neck which sent involuntary shivers to my body. His hands widened my legs a little farther apart from each other and he put them in my jeans. "Has anyone ever finger-fucked you before?"_

_I sat motionless, what the fuck was he doing? "No," I said in a mild tone as tears ran down my cheeks. Oh God please tell me he isn't going to? Oh no! _

"_What about that boy you always hang around with? Mike?"He looked at me skeptically. I shook my head unable to find the voice to speak. "Alright then, let me be the first, shall we?" _

"Bella wake up! Wake up!!" Heidi shouted my name as I sat up on the bed, quavering. "You were having nightmares again!" she said softly as tears started forming in her eyes. "Oh baby! It's okay," she hugged me and rocked me softly.

"I am okay Heidi," I choked out, trying to remove my hair that was strangled in her hands.

"Are you sure?" she brought my face to hers as she tried to check if I was lying.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "You're back so early, what's the time?"

"Its 12:30pm honey," she answered as she released me.

"Well how was it?" I asked. "Your night I mean?" I walked into the bathroom to do my morning grooming.

"Oh my God!" Heidi exclaimed with excitement. "He was amazing! Like I can't explain. He was like the best amazing fuck, I am ever gonna get!" she spluttered. "And he's rich!" I could imagine her eyes glow the dollar sign as I turned on the tap.

"I figured; that was one mad ass ride!" I said washing my face.

"He's body is like a park, like wonderland. He is fully built. Has six amazing packs and like…" she trailed off, going back to her dream.

"Well that has to be a keeper," I smirked, wiping the water off my chin with my towel.

"Definitely," she sighed. "Let's go get something to eat, I think Collin left some breakfast for those who just woke up," she hopped off the bed and grabbed my arm, leading me to the kitchen.

"Hello Demetri," Heidi greeted as she jumped on his lap.

"Hey Sexy," he smiled as they shared a tongue-tied kiss.

Heidi and Demetri had a weird relationship. Well, it wasn't entirely weird and it wasn't necessarily a relationship but they had become really close friends. Close friends with benefits that is, they kissed frequently, groped each other when no one was watching and sometimes Heidi snuck off to his room in the night when she thought I wasn't watching. Kissing was the only exclusive thing they did in front of people and that's because no one thought anything about it. I couldn't tell if he had feelings for her but she had some sparks for him, to risk Aro catching her.

"Hey Collin, any breakfast left?" I asked, cutting a piece of bread from the fridge.

"I made some scrambled eggs, still hot in the frying pan." He said as I reached for the frying pan.

I quietly ate my food while Heidi and Demetri continued drooling over each other. When I was done, I had a shower and went to the hospital.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Hey Baby," Renee smiled as I entered her room and shut the door quietly behind me.

"Hey," I said as I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "How are you today? I picked up some food for you, nothing with cholesterol." I said placing the bag on the table beside her. "Baked fish and fresh salad with some fruits,"

"Mmmm…" she moaned. "Sounds good," she took my hands in hers as I sat on the bed beside her. "You're losing weight?" she puckered her brow. "Is something bothering you?"

"Mom, would you stop worrying! I ate this morning, scrambled eggs and bread." I smiled.

"You're lucky; I have eaten nothing but vegetables since I came here. I miss my fried spicy food." She said unhappily.

"It's done so you can be better, ma. Don't worry, when you're well, I'll make that amazing stew for you and you can eat all the fried stuff you want," I gave her a reassuring smile which seemed to light up her face.

"I am so proud of you, you know that right?" she looked up at me.

"Yes mum," I answered vaguely, as her hands traced lines on my palm. _If only you knew, _I thought. _I am a towel that many men have used_.

"So, is there any man catching those beautiful eyes yet?" she asked, trying to remove the depressing air from the room.

_Edward_. "Well, there is someone special, but I am not sure." I blushed and turned away from my mother's inquisitive eyes.

"Omg, what's his name? What does he do? Is he handsome? Is he in forks? He is smart, isn't he? You know you always have to date the smart ones---" she gushed out with excitement and sat up. I was so happy seeing her all keyed up, it had been long since that ever happened and Edward did this again.

"Well mum," I cut her off and held out my left hand for her to pause. "As much as I know how happy you are, wait. His name is Edward Cullen. He is the CEO of the Cullen Industries. Of course he is gorgeous and yes he is pretty fu--- brilliant!" I chuckled.

"Oh dear, I am so happy for you!" she clapped her hands in elation. "Do you like him? Like really really like him?" she looked like a kid in a candy store.

_Of course!_ I took a deep breath. "Yes," I said in a soft tone.

"Oh honey!" she opened her arms and enveloped me into a tight embrace. "You deserve it, you know. You deserve happiness and I am so happy you've found it!" tears welled up in her eyes as she released it. "Bella you deserve it," she sniffed again, wiping the tears with the back of her hand. I felt a bit guilty; I didn't want her to cry. I wanted to see that excitement I had seen some minutes ago. "Just as a precautionary measure, you know I love you, but don't let any man break you, are you hearing me?" I nodded before saying yes.

"Now you need to eat your food," I said as Dr. Laurent came in, dressed in a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

"How are we doing today Renee?" he smiled as he picked up a pen from his pocket and looked into his binder.

"Perfect, I have seen my sunshine," she smiled towards me.

"Okay, well I just came into tell you that you shouldn't take anything with cholesterol. And you shouldn't forget to take your drugs. The nurse would bring them for you shortly." He smiled warmly at her. "Bella," he offered a greeting by bowing his head. I responded, nodding.

"Thanks," she replied as he left.

"Now mum, you need to eat, I am not going anytime soon." I opened the bag and set the plates in front of her.

"Oh baby, I am so happy. You have no idea. I thought that my past and my sickness might make you give up on men." She said as she poked into the fish with her fork. "I was beginning to picture your future as an old depressed woman with twelve cats and two dogs." She teased.

I couldn't help but laugh. What the hell? "Mom!"

"It's true! Remember when you were a kid and you used to say you wouldn't get married, that you thought it was hard work." She placed some salad into her mouth.

"I still think its hard work though,"

"Yeah but you've come to your senses a little bit. I was happy when Mike decided to take interest in you. Glad he didn't take Charlie's advice and run." She chuckled as I remembered Charlie chasing Mike with his AK 47 gun. "I have to meet this Edward Cullen one day. He is a very big man. I am proud of your choice."

"Mom, I am still amazed that you saw me with twelve cats!" I accused, feigning annoyance.

"Well, I am sorry honey. I don't know why it popped that way," we both broke into laughter.

Laughter felt good, I felt like a little weight was lifted off my chest. Renee was laughing and whatever made her happy made me frigging jump for joy! My darling mother.

**The next chapter is still BPOV, I just like her mind so much. Forgive me. But anyway, this chapter was split into two because I didn't want to delay your updates and also create a very long chapter. **

**The next chapter is already half way done and will be posted shortly. The drama is definitely coming, so hang on. And trust me; it doesn't end there at all! But patience is a virtue, as they say so…we have to wait!**

**Leave your amazing thoughts. If you've noticed they haven't claimed they love each other. Do you think they should say it soon? Or later on….let me know!**

**I hope I didn't disappoint! **


	9. Fight for you

**I was going to put off this chapter for a while but I was like it's finished, no point of letting it sit.**

**Okay you guys asked for it, just so you know it starts going downhill from here. **

**Well, it's time to bring it on Ladies and Gentlemen, It's New Years Eve!!!**

**A/N at the end**

**Song for this chapter – Say – John Mayer and "When did the storm begin" – shiny toy guns, for the action (check my profile for songs and Edward's car)**

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"B, stay straight before I burn the fuck out of your hair," Heidi complained as she took a small chunk of my hair in between the curling iron.

I was so wound up that I was going to see Edward today, I know, totally pathetic. But I couldn't help it. I missed him so much. It had been five days since he had graced me with his presence. I had been counting the days and hours till I got to see him again. We had been keeping each other company with calls and texts but it was nothing compared to the real deal.

It was the day before New Year and my heart was a little bit too overwhelmed. I was also pretty nervous because I hadn't been to a club for the longest time. The first and last time was when I was eighteen, I had gone with Mike and mum had caught us. Mike wasn't smooth enough.

I decided to dress up from here. I didn't want to face the claws of Alice, Heidi was better. Alice practically harassed me whenever she was dressing me up. I wanted to feel completely comfortable today and so I asked Heidi to offer her beauty skills. I knew Alice would be thwarted and angry when she saw me, but right now I didn't care.

"Okay, I am done." She said as she swung my chair to face the mirror. I looked at the mirror and stared at the girl in front of me. Her hair was dressed in the most bouncy shiny curls I had ever seen with a side fringe that covered her right eye.

"Great! You want to remove my fucking eyesight," I hissed as I tried to move the fringe to the back.

"Hell no!" she slapped my hand away. "Do you know how long it took me to do that? Don't go spoiling this with that annoying habit of raking your hair with your hands," she scolded. "The only thing that can go through this is the master himself, and that's when you're about to reach paradise," she smiled calculatingly. "Now time for make up!" she swung my chair back to face the other side.

"Do we have to? I thought men adored natural beauty," I whined as she dipped the cotton pad with little foundation.

"Yeah well, it's fucking New Year and you know what they say about the kiss you get once it gets to twelve," she grinned as she slowly dapped my face with the pad.

"What do they say?" my brows furrowed as she forced my face to stay still. "I don't believe in that crap!" I said as I realized what she was talking about.

"That's a bad sign! Well, you better believe in it. The same way you should believe that you have more than an infatuation for Edward," she applied a soft pink lip gloss on my lips.

"No I do not," I huffed.

"Yeah, you do! Now don't fucking move!" she added a wet dark liner to my right eyelid.

"No point in arguing with you, you believe what you want to!" I closed my left eye so she could apply the liner to it too.

"Good, now I am done!" she said, swinging the chair back to the mirror. "Edward's eye balls are gonna jump out of his sockets when he takes a good look at you miss," her lips turned into a huge proud smile, admiring her work.

I must admit; Heidi did a good job and with less torture than Alice. My eyes were darkened and my lips looked full and inviting with the pink moisture on them. The little freckles on my face were hidden under the foundation and my hair was glossy and bouncy.

Satisfied, I walked to the bed and took out the clothes I had on. Edward was going to be here in ten minutes and I didn't want to be late. I dressed into a denim jean shorts that stopped at my thighs with a black halter neck top that was accompanied with a small belt.

"How do I look?" I asked as I finished strapping on my black heels.

"Sexy!!!" Heidi answered stealing a glance at me before turning to arrange the hair products back in the bathroom cupboard.

After a few minutes, my phone blinked. I had a text message from Edward.

_Hey, ready to see me? I am outside. Come get me_. My cheeks burned as I grabbed my long brown jacket from the closet.

"I'm off Heidi, thanks again! Tell Jessica not to break all the windows with her singing," I laughed as I ran out of the room.

I didn't wait for her reply; I just sprinted out of the room like as if I was running away from a burning building. I couldn't wait to feel him in my arms or see his beautiful face. Five days of not seeing him felt like days of starving. I needed to feed my sight with his beautiful figure. I held my black clutch to my chest as I ran down the hallway. I didn't care that some of the girls were looking at me like I was insane. _Well, you are insane. I mean who the hell runs like this to see their boyfriend other than you._ I laughed at my inner thoughts and stopped running. I needed to catch my breath before I saw him and completely lost myself.

_You have to look cool. Don't make him think he is the whole world. Make it look like you didn't care that he was gone._ I walked past Gianna and gave her a smile. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw a black Lamborghini Gallardo Nera with a beautiful man wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt hugging his glorious body leaning on it. _Since when did he grow abs?_ He wore a dazzling smile with snow particles on his gorgeous hair.

"Hello Sweet thing, miss me?" He gave me a lopsided grin, his hands shoved in his pockets. "I am freezing my ass off here, would you come warm me up?" he flashed his sparkling white teeth.

_Oh God, what the hell does he need me for? He is fucking hot all ready! Play it cool Bella. _"What do I look like, your space heater?" I tried to beat his arrogant ass. My gaze locked with the next beautiful thing beside him. "That's a---" I was speechless. Yes, Edward was hot but his car was fucking fire!

"Oh this," his hands ran over the smooth black body of the car. "Just added it to my new collection, a friend of mine brought it for me when I arrived this weekend." He smirked as he drank in my shocked expression.

"It's amazing!" I was able to speak as I moved towards the car. "And classy. I love black."

"I know you do, you always wear it" he said, opening the front door like the gentleman he is. "I've missed you," he whispered in a deep voice, guiding me into the car as I shivered from his touch. It had been so long, since he touched me and this simple gesture was already driving me nuts.

After shutting the door for me, he walked around swiftly to the driver's seat. "Oh my God Edward!" I squealed as my hands skimmed through the interior of the car. "How much did this cost?"

"Well, about $180000 to $200000, not really sure, I had a deal." He shrugged like it was no big deal as he turned on the vehicle and sped off to the high way. I think I just had a heart attack. The Cullen's were not rich, they were…I got lost in thought. That money could cover my mother's hospital bill and many other problems in my life and this money was spent on a frigging car! But I couldn't ask him, I know he would do it for me in a heartbeat. But I just couldn't. Edward must have noticed me holding my chest like I was clinging on for dear life because he suddenly asked "Is everything alright, Bella?" his green eyes boring into mine with a careful expression.

I nodded. "I am just," I gulped. "Nothing," I turned my attention to the trees and cars that looked blurred from my window as we sped by them.

"It's okay Bella, I know. You haven't been in my presence for long so my presence must be affecting you in some way," he laughed.

"Oh get a hold of yourself Edward!" I smacked his laps and laughed.

"Oh you so shouldn't have done that!" he chastised. "I haven't seen you in days and then you decide to tease me!"

I didn't understand what he was talking about until his gaze shifted from the windscreen to his pants. "Oh Edward!" I laughed. "You know, it won't be a bad idea to cleanse this car," I wore an evil grin on my face as my hands glided up and down his thigh.

"Bella," he stiffened at my touch and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "If we do that while driving, I might not be able to control myself," he closed his eyes for a second as my hands tortured him, moving delicately over his manhood. "And we might have an accident," he opened his eyes. _God, he looked sexy!_

"Mr. Cullen, are you trying to tell me, you can't drive while receiving a blow job?" I licked my lower lip as he groaned. "Oh well," I removed my hands. "I wouldn't want to die the day before New Year." I smirked resting my hands on the hand rest of the car.

"You fucking tease!" he growled and then made a turn to the left side of the road.

We arrived at a club called SEVEN in twenty minutes. The place was crowded and there was a huge line up, including some guys with cameras. Edward made sure we passed through the back door to avoid attention. Alice and the whole crew were already inside. Edward had explained that Alice paid the owner of the club to rent it for a night in order for Jasper to perform with his band. When we got inside, the dance floor was packed with people dancing to a song I couldn't recognize. Edward held my hand firmly and led me to the bar to join his family.

"Hey Bella," Alice stood up from her stool and gave me a hug. "I am so angry with you. I can't believe you didn't come to the house first. You look good but I could have done better!" I rolled my eyes as I sat on the next closest stool.

"Could I have a porn star?" Edward asked the bartender who was pouring a bottle of wine into a couple of glasses. "And a…" he turned to me.

"Sex on the beach," I said sheepishly and played with my hands on my laps. "Where are the rest?"

"Well Rosalie and Emmett are on the dance floor and Jasper is trying to coordinate things before his big performance tonight." She said eyeing my drink as the bartender served me. "I am not allowed to have a drink until Jasper finishes performing, he doesn't want me drunk yet." She giggled. "Ouh Tanya is here," she said to Edward, whose face suddenly became rigid and serious.

I immediately remembered that I was supposed to dump Edward before New Year according to pissface, Tanya. _Tonight was definitely going to be an interesting night_, I thought as I gulped my drink.

"You're looking sexy today, but then you always look sexy," Edward murmured as his wet cold lips from his drink touched the skin at the back of my neck. I leaned my back to fall on his chest as he continued pouring kisses on the spot. _You have no idea how much I missed you._

"Hey! Hey! Leave the PDA to Rose and I, we do it better," Emmett laughed as he sat on a stool beside Alice. "Hello Bella, looking lovely as always,"

"Thanks," I replied as Rose slipped herself onto his lap. She offered me a smile and turned her attention to her fiancé. My eyes searched around for Tanya but I couldn't find her. I just wanted to get this over with. The worst thing that could possibly happen would be an argument, better late than later.

"Wanna dance?" Edward whispered from my back as my body shivered from the cool breath of air he poured on my skin.

"Err…no, thanks. I don't do dancing."

"That's pretty bad, because I am a kick ass dancer," he said arrogantly as he stood up from his stool. "Do you mind sharing me for two songs, I promise, I'll be right back," He shot me a pleading look and I couldn't resist.

"Yes, but come back soon." I answered as he laid a chaste kiss on my lips and left.

"You're gonna let him go?" Emmett asked in shock like as if I had just made a big mistake. "You do know he's gonna dance with girls right?"

"Well yeah," I took a sip of my drink. "Why not? Besides I know he'll always come back. It's me his going to carry back home tonight anyways," I said proudly, drowning the last drop of the drink. His life shouldn't be stopped just because I was his girlfriend now, that would make things more serious and serious wasn't a route I wanted to take.

Emmett gave me a smile of approval. After what seemed like an hour, Alice motioned us to go closer to the stage. Jasper and his band were about to perform. We made our way towards the front, but I decided to stand at a corner, in order to avoid being seen. I wasn't sure if one of Aro's boys were around here or any client who could notice me in an instant. I couldn't locate Edward and I didn't find Tanya either. I guess our little meeting was going to be delayed for a while.

"Hello guys, I want to present the band called 100 Monkeys!" A huge guy spoke into the microphone as the crowd roared in response. "They are going to perform a few songs tonight. A song by Breaking Benjamin called Diary of Jane," I squealed, Breaking Benjamin was one of my favorite rock bands. "Also a song by Linkin Park called One Step Closer and last but not the least. Their very own composed song called You make me feel." The crowd continued going ape shit as Jasper and three other guys appeared on the stage. Jasper and one of his fellow band members were carrying a guitar. One of them was on the drums; he had a lot of piercings. And lastly, Edward was on the piano. _Wait! What the fuck was Edward doing on the piano?_

Jasper grabbed the mic as the band started drowning the noise of the club with amazing rock music blasting from their instruments. Edward hadn't started playing yet; he seemed to be waiting for them or something. Jasper was killing all the young girls bouncing on the front stage as his voice went rock hardcore. Alice gave all of them glares stating that Jasper was hers. I was so shocked. I had never seen him do a hard core song like this before and he was really good at it. A guy approached me and wanted to make a conversation with me but I shoved him off telling him to go fuck himself. I was so engrossed in the music; I wanted to sing along with Jasper. Maybe in an alternate universe, I could be the girl singer of his band and rock the stage like Amy Lee does on usual occasions.

People kept cheering as the song came to an end and they started playing Linkin Park's song. Jasper brought out his hands to touch Alice from the stage while he was still singing and most of the girls kept pushing their way through to touch him. He looked so sexy being a bad boy and if I wasn't carried away with Edward, I would have been grabbing him by now. The song carried on for about another three minutes before it came to an end. Edward's piano music covered the whole room as it started softly and then went to something violent as Jasper and the rest of the crew joined him in. The song was pretty cool and I could tell he wrote it for Alice cause his eyes kept glued on hers as he sang the song. The song finally drifted to an end with the same soft melody it originally started with.

The night carried on and I couldn't find Edward anywhere. Alice didn't know where he was either; she seemed to be drunk by Jasper's kisses because she kept saying incoherent things. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting at the VIP lounge, making out. And I finally found Tanya, who I had been waiting for to approach me but she didn't, chickenshit.

I roamed around the club in hopes of finding Edward but he still was nowhere to be found. I took a couple of shots and a glass of margarita with another glass of sex on the beach. My mind was slowly dissolving into the alcohol.

I glanced at my phone and it was thirty minutes to New Year, another year approaching, nothing could be more perfect. Tanya's cold-eyed glares were beginning to creep the fuck out of me. It's either she found me attractive all of a sudden and there was no way in hell I was gonna do girls, or she really did want to kill me because I was with Edward. I found Edward and my smile turned into a devilish smirk as a plan architected itself in my brain.

I decided to put up a show for her. There would be no point for her firing up this fuel only to be aggravated by nothing. The least I could do was help her out by putting up this show for her. I gave a wicked grin and walked towards Edward who seemed to be taking shots at the bar. I needed some shots too, there was no way I could do this in my right mind. I was just not cut out for this type of attention.

"Hello Handsome," I smiled flirtingly and stole his shot of vodka. After gulping it down as fast as I could, I turned to him and said "Wanna dance?"

Before he could even reply, I grabbed his arm and led him to the middle of the dance floor. _Alright Bella, don't be Bella right now! Be feisty, be someone else, be sexy._ I mentally spoke to myself as I pushed through the crowd to find a comfortable spot for me to dance in and for Tanya to watch. When I found one, I pushed Edward's chest with my hands and asked "Ready to bring your hot stuff? Don't brag if you can't bring it on,"

He seemed bewildered at my suddenly agility as he stared at me for a few minutes while I rolled my eyes. The music changed to a new song; _**if you seek Amy**_by _**Britney Spears**_. I started whining around him, moving in a circle and rubbing my body around his, while he stood looking at me slightly perplexed. He was probably wondering what the hell happened to Bella? _Well, Edward, Bella's gone…its Amy now!_ I smirked as I brought his firm soft hands to my hips while wrapping my left leg on his waist and my arms trailed his as they lay on my hips. As the chorus came on, I threw my hands in the air, moved closer to him and started popping my chest in and out with the rhythm of the music, he looked so stunned. But seriously, he needed to snap the hell out of this phase, there was no way the plan was gonna work if he didn't comply.

I turned my back and rubbed my ass exactly on his groin which immediately hardened at my contact while he hissed. I smiled and bent low, twirling my ass back up in a sexy twist. _Bella, don't make a fool out of yourself and overdo this_, I panicked a little bit. I began to swing my hips fiercely and seductively as his green eyes seemed to turn to a darker shade of green, but then again, maybe it was the alcohol. He appeared to break out of his trance as his hands drew in the shape of my curves while I kept grinding on him with my back pressed against his chest. He started to mimic my dance movements and was behind me with each step I took. Edward could dance and he was damn hot while doing it! I probably looked like a bad dancer next to him but who the fuck cared anyway!

I don't know what happened but I suddenly lost touch with my environment. The dance floor was fucking crowded but I couldn't see anyone but him, I couldn't feel anyone but him. I had completely forgotten about Tanya. It was just him and me dancing sexily on the dance floor like we were in our own universe. I didn't even realize when the song changed to _**all on me**_by _**Sean Paul**_. But he decided to dominate the dance as he gripped my hips tighter while our legs moved synchronically together to the beat. The dance had gone from sexy to illegally erotic in a second. Edward decided to take it to the next level, by kissing the croon of my neck while my back was still pressed on his front side. The feel of his lips on my neck spurred goose bumps on my arms and he ran his hands along them, creating more. His hands brushed over my breasts and he squeezed them lightly as my head fell back on his shoulders. Okay someone needed to turn on the sprinklers for this place, it was getting freaking hot!

Whatever you want boy you know what I got  
I'm giving you all of me  
Don't be afraid boy, take me away...I'll give you a guarantee  
You won't regret anything that you get..I can be all you need  
It's getting so hot boy you hitting my spot.....I want you all on me

His hands glided past my jean shorts and down to my exposed thighs. The feel of the sweat mixed with my thighs and his soft hands made me feel wetter instantly and a groan escaped my lips. Edward spun me around to face him without us missing a beat from the song. I bent low a bit and placed my left leg in between his two legs so that my leg was exactly rubbing his groin, he moaned while keeping his eyes fixed on me and I continued grinding. After all, the song was _all on me_, it was only fair I'd be all on him. With each movement I made, our bodies pressed closer and his eyes seemed to grow darker by the minute. His hands began roving my shape and he started kissing again. The friction increased greatly and sweat emanated from our bodies, but we didn't break any contact. Fuck me! This dance was on fire!

So if you like it.....Come and get close you're invited  
I know that you cannot hide it.....You know that I want you all on me  
And if we're grinding…we won't be done till sun shining  
Tonight you gonna be mine...and....You know that I want you all on me

He pulled me onto him and his hands began wandering around my figure lavishly as he started kissing me with an incredible amount of force. My breath accelerated as he whimpered in my mouth. We didn't say a word and we didn't stop dancing but we continued kissing and touching, trying to get closer to each other in a frenzied state.

In the heat of the night now our bodies entwine  
You're all that I can feel  
I'm losin' my breath every time that you get a little closer to me  
You touchin' me right and I'm holdin' you tight  
You're like a midnight dream  
Ready or not now I'll give what I got...If you give it all to me

His hands slowly ran down my body and landed on my ass, as our kissing became fiercer. It was like he was trying to prove something with his lips and I had no other option but to oblige. We attacked each other with our lips on the dance floor and I was suddenly hoping Tanya wasn't seeing this, she'd be pretty depressed. He pushed our chests into each other and my breasts grazed his torso which made them harden as our kissing grew wilder.

"Dammit! Bella you're sexy as hell," he said between kisses. "And you're mine. All mine. No one else's," our breaths raged and our chests heaved up and down simultaneously. He looked like he was about to take me right there on the floor. Fuck me senseless Edward! I don't mind.

He leaned to my ears and whispered the lyrics of the end of Sean Paul's verse in my ears. "_I love that shape and that design...gimme your body anytime. And I know you hear me clear girl, you gotta know I got no fear. And you know I will be prepared if you give me your body anywhere."_ He sang the lyrics in a low husky voice. _Oh lord! I think I am about to have an orgasm on the dance floor_. Too bad, I didn't know the lyrics to the girl's part that would have been fucking sex-awesomeness. My face turned into a frown, as the song came to an end. I was really enjoying getting buck wild on the dance floor.

"Give me a minute," he cleared his throat. "I just need to take care of something," I smiled as he leaned in, giving me a small kiss on my lips before making his way through the crowd to the men's room.

_Tanya could eat that! Something for her lovely dreams! _I smirked. I really needed to give up this childish attitude but I couldn't help it. It had been long since I channeled my inner child spirit. The things you could do when you're tipsy.

I was heading to the VIP section to rest for a while before asking Edward if we could go. The dance really exhausted the shit out of me.

"YOU BITCH!!!!!!" I heard a loud screech from behind me as I turned to look at what the hell was going on. "YOU SLUT! LOOK AT ME! I AM TALKING TO YOU!!" I turned to see Tanya sending me angry vibes as the crowd parted for her. How she got her voice so loud to almost drown the noise of the club shocked me.

_Oh men! Great! Now I am the centre of fucking attention._ The music stopped as she pushed a girl out of her way. _This is one angry kitten. _

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE?" she stopped a small distance away from me as I folded my arms to look at her. I knew this was coming, but I didn't know she was going to be uncivilized about it. "IT'S TWENTY MINUTES TO NEW YEAR AND YOU'RE STILL WITH MY BOYFRIEND!"

_OMG I have awakened the devil! _

_Seriously, she thinks Edward's her boyfriend? She is fucking delusional._

"Tanya," I started slowly, walking to her. I didn't really want this to get ugly, my cover was already blown. "I am sorry but Edward invited me and I had no choice." I said softly, praying to God she'd drop this off until after the party. People were already beginning to stare at us and my head had started spinning.

"You whore! You're nothing but a prostitute! Aro's fucking prostitute, go back and suck his dick!" she cried, her voice still going up in rage.

_Was she crying? She's humiliating me and she's crying. Imagine the bullcrap!_ I turned around and started walking, hoping to ignore her, I was beginning to get pissed. I didn't like the way she just said that. Didn't she think about what it could do to me? Obviously not! I pretended that she was talking to herself until I jumped out of my skin when I heard a familiar voice and I turned.

"What the hell are you talking about Tanya?" Alice asked, as her, Emmett and Rosalie appeared from the crowd.

"She works for Aro and his brothel, the Volturi whorehouse, the popular one. She's one of his girls, they fuck for money." Tanya replied with venom. The last part of her sentence hit me like a freaking tornado.

"How do you know that?" Alice asked with Rosalie and Emmett looking disoriented from this information.

"I followed Edward one evening after Esme told me to check up on him." Her face etched in anger. "I saw him pick her up and drop her at the same place. Since I didn't want to make false accusations, I followed him a few times and finally asked one of the guards if there was a girl named Bella there. He explained that she worked there. With that I had all the proof I needed. You can't deny it Bella," she looked at me as I closed my eyes, trying to steady the fucking tears. Don't do this now Bella, time for bitchface to come back on.

_She just admitted to stalking him and yet no one persecuted her for it._

"Bella tell me it's not true? Tell me they are lying. Tell me you don't work at the brothel?" Alice started nodding her head left to right in consternation as I felt a strong twist turn in my stomach. Was everyone sobered up now? I couldn't tell what was worse, being embarrassed in public or Alice getting angry with me.

"I am sorry Alice, I tried to tell you," I ran a hand through the tresses of my hair, not giving two fucks about the fringe Heidi had carefully constructed. "I don't know what to say,"

"You tried? Bella I am supposed to be your best friend!!! Your fucking best friend" I winced at the word _fucking_, Alice never cussed which meant she was very angry or hurt; I wasn't sure which emotion her eyes were displaying. "I don't even want to see you, Jasper, let's get the hell out of here!" she pushed herself from the crowd, dragging Jasper on her way out who I suddenly saw among the crowd. Jasper gave me a look that read _I'm sorry _and I was about to follow them when pissface spoke again.

"Now everybody knows that you're just a cheap ass slut getting your way into Edward Cullen's bed," she laughed mockingly.

I had to fucking do something, there was no way in hell I was gonna let her get away with this _again_. Alice's explanation could come later. I didn't even register if anyone else was there after Alice left, I was seething. "If you feel that he's yours so much, why do you have to confront me about him?" I heard my voice say.

"You still have the guts to talk to me? You lowlife ingrate," she shouted as she walked towards me and gave me a slap. "I am no match for you, you hear me? I am someone and you're not!"

_Ouch! That fucking hurt! This was it, she had filled her cup and it was pouring now._

I didn't hesitate before I used my fist to knock her face. She staggered back in pain and then revived herself and lunched toward me. I felt Rosalie's hands grab my waist backwards but I didn't acknowledge it; she really needed to get the fuck out of my way before I disfigured her beautiful face too.

Tanya's lip was bleeding at this point; I guess my ring must have scraped her pretty skin. Too bad. "You-" I didn't allow her to finish as I used my shoe to hit her stomach, knocking the air out of her. I threw myself on top of her and started pulling her hair as she yelped in pain. Music filled the background as she used her nails to attack my neck, scratching my skin.

"You think I'm a prostitute huh?" I heard my voice again. "Well I'll show you how it's done. I fucked your Edward for three and a half months and guess what? He was fucking great. I bet you can't beat that." I sneered as I gave her light punches, I didn't want to bruise her pretty face. I felt two massive hands pull me away from her as I shouted a string of profanities, struggling my way out of the guy's grasp. "Just so you know, there is a difference between a whore and a prostitute, try remembering that next time!" I panted, trying to catch my breath and slow my racing heart.

"STOP IT!!!" Edward's voice shouted in ire as he held me still and carried me out of the club.

"She started it!" I yelled back. What the fuck was he angry at me for? Does he know how she humiliated me? I could lose my fucking job for this, how dare he shout at me!

He didn't answer until he had me outside in the freezing cold and set me on my two limbs. "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE BELLA?!!" His voice boiled in anger causing me to flinch.

"DON'T YOU FUCKIN' SHOUT AT ME!!!" I shouted back in the same tone he used on me, as my vision blurred with hot tears stinging in my eyes.

He took a deep breath. "You can't just start picking fights on women in a club, do you know they can have you arrested?" he ran his hands through his hair, pacing up and down restlessly, refusing to make eye contact.

"But she started it!" I bawled. "Whose side are you on anyway?" I fumed; I could feel my ears ringing.

"I am not on anyone's side Bella!" he said keeping his eyes closed, as his body trembled.

He seemed angry, like really fucking pissed.

What the fuck was he angry for?

"You know what? I can't fucking fight with you. I fought _over_ you and I can't fight _with_ you, I just can't," I continued crying as I started walking towards the road. "I don't have that energy,"

"Where are you going Bella?" He called after me, but I didn't stop.

"Anywhere away from you," I replied, wiping the tears away. There was only so much I could take and I couldn't deal with us being mad at each other. You don't get mad at the sun for brightening your day and you don't get mad at it when the moon dominates over.

"Bella come back you'll freeze! Your jacket's still in my car." I heard his voice grow faint but I just kept on walking.

I was going back to the brothel, my own personal hell. I didn't know how I was going to get there, I didn't have money but one way or the other I would. I just couldn't face him right now. I felt so bad. This had totally all blown up in my face. I was dreading it but it finally came and now I was walking in the middle of the road in the night. Today had gone terribly awful, I had gotten slapped, embarrassed and hurt. Edward was mad at me, Alice was hurt, Tanya had received a bruise on my face because of me and now I was walking on the road, fucking cold and alone.

I made it to the main road, I had left the noise and music, I had left people and now there was no one in sight. I glanced at my watch, it was fucking New Year. _Perfect way to start the year!_ I thought irreverently. Goose bumps had crawled up my skin and my teeth were chattering, but I kept walking. I wasn't even sure if I was going the right way.

"Hey gorgeous! Happy New Year!" A guy approached me from the side of the street. "Why are you walking alone? You should be with someone by now," he smiled sardonically.

Four guys approached from the same route the first guy had just come out from. Fear crept up my spine when I saw them each holding bottles of vodka.

"Would you like to keep us company?" One said at the back of me.

I balked as the other guy held my face up to look at me. "Don't be a pussy baby. All you have to do is do what we say and we will let you go!" he said as I saw one of them opening his trousers.

_Please this can't be happening! Tell me this is not happening._

"Shh," one of them pulled my hair back and I grimaced at the pain. "Don't scream baby, I promise. We would be very fast. You won't even notice." His sticky wet tongue grazed my neck.

"I want to be first," another guy said as he broke the bottle of vodka on the side of the road.

"Steven shut up! There's enough to share. I don't know why you have to be a greedy bastard." The one pulling my hair said with his whisky breath fanning across my neck.

"How about, we'll do two at a time, one in front and one at the back. Three of us would watch and then the rest two would go followed by me," The first guy that approached me said.

"Sounds good boss," the others laughed.

"Please," I whimpered. "I am begging you. I don't have anything to offer you." I begged as hot tears spilled down my eyes.

"Of course you do. Your body is enough baby," one said picking up a piece of the broken vodka bottle and walking towards me.

My heart beat started working double time. My legs felt weak and I started shivering from both cold and fear. "Please," I attempted again.

"Stop begging us bitch! You're gonna be getting pleasure in return." A guy beside the one inspecting my face slapped me hard.

"Stop doing that Andrew! You're gonna make her more afraid." I heard one of them say. My head was banging, the alcohol and slaps were beginning to affect it.

"Holy Shit! We gotta run, a car is coming!" the two guys released me and all five of them started running back to the direction they came from as I fell to the ground.

My head was dizzy and everything seemed to be spinning. "Bella, Bella honey, can you hear me?" I heard Edward's velvet voice over my head and a door shut. "I am so sorry," he whispered as he lifted my body up.

I heard his voice again but I couldn't decipher what he was saying.

My eyes failed me by closing, and then

All I could see was black.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: Yeah, sorry about the long chapter, I just wanted to finish Bella's POV so Edward can have his chance.**

**I hope you noticed in this chapter that Bella's feelings are growing deeper but she doesn't realize it yet.**

**Don't be too quick to attack Edward, he was pretty angry and as we will soon see in future chapters, he has a very bad side when he is angry, this was nothing. But he had a good reason to be.**

**Some people may not completely understand why Alice is feeling the way she is, but don't worry you'll find out soon, possibly in the next chapter.**

**The price of the car was mentioned for a significant reason, he's trying to tell her, that he can take care of her and she doesn't have to be in a brothel.**

**Don't you just love Tanya? Thanks for the reviews, they were truly appreciated. **

**I did two updates in 3 days, please reward me! **

**I hope I did the drama justice.**


	10. The Truth Night

**A/N: You guys are AMAZING!!!! Yes, I know I always do this and you might get bored with the same line but seriously you guys are the shit! I got a lot of reviews last chapter that I wanted to send you an update asap. But I couldn't because I'm moving to a new apartment and I have to sort out some things first. **

**I also couldn't update because believe it or not, I wrote this chapter three times. 3 frigging times!!!! With 3 totally different scenarios, my head is aching badly right now. So I decided this was the best one and I don't even think this is good but I'm gonna post it anyway.**

**My heart goes out to Daddy's Little Cannibal, may her soul rest in peace.**

**I never did a disclaimer, but I'm sure you all know Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer; the characters just do what I want them to do.**

**Song for this chapter – Us against the World – Westlife**

**__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**THE TRUTH NIGHT**

_Today was fucking perfect,_ I thought mordantly as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. It started off with an argument with Jacob about why he hadn't signed the stupid merger with Cullen Enterprises, so I practically had work today. Then went off with the car dealings that he and Rosalie had to sort out in which I earned a Lamborghini. The only thing I was looking forward to do today was spend an uninterrupted time with my girlfriend and I wasn't even able to. Jasper had immediately requested for my presence in his band because Peter, his piano player hadn't arrived yet and I willingly agreed because Alice wouldn't let me live if I didn't. But it didn't end there; I mistakenly bumped into two of my exes tonight. _Two for freak's sake! Heaven was definitely not on my side today._ So here I am looking at myself in the fucking mirror.

I splashed the cold ice water on my face and tried to drown the looks on Becky and Maggie's faces after they figured out I had dumped them and was here with my _new _girlfriend. I totally forgot that I would run into some of my exes here and I didn't want Bella to meet any of them before she thought I was just an asshole who didn't really care for her. I wanted to tell her about some of them first, plus mixing the past and present didn't always go right for me whenever it came to women. It was like mixing oil and water. After I figured they were here, I tried to make decent conversations explaining to them why I didn't officially call it quits with our relationship, it still ended in loud voices and angry rants. _No matter how nice you are Edward, women will still shout at you._

I was becoming exhausted and all I wanted to do was go home and lay in bed with Bella beside me. My fingers were a bit numb, it had been a while since I had played the piano and tonight's music piece was really vigorous. The dance with Bella had been fucking sexy but had also consumed my last atom of strength. I turned off the tap and cleaned my hands with a paper towel.

"Edward you need to come quick!" Emmett rushed into the men's room. "Bella and Tanya are going at it!"

_Just fucking perfect, _this was the icing on the fucking cake and it wasn't even New Year yet.

"I'll be right there," I responded, rushing after him as we made our way into the vociferous club.

As I rushed to the dance floor, people were surrounding a circle, intensely looking at something in the middle of it like as if it was the next coming of Jesus Christ. I shoved my way through the mob and took in the sight before my eyes. A very angry Bella was ripping a very helpless Tanya's hair off. This might have been an interesting thing to stare at but the result might have been quite devastating, so I decided to end it immediately.

I wrapped my two hands around Bella's waist and grabbed her away from the clutches of Tanya. She kept pulling herself away from my hold so I tightened my grasp as her nails drilled into my skin. Anger began to flow through my veins as I realized that she might actually get into trouble for this. The cops could have already been called or somehow information might have leaked out to the brothel. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind at all the negative shit that could possibly happen at this point. This was definitely not what I planned for.

"STOP IT!!!" I shouted, as I dragged her out of the club to the back door. She kept on screaming but I couldn't register what exactly she was saying because of the music filling the speakers in the room.

I was trying my best to calm down; I really didn't want her to see this side of me. But the aggressiveness was becoming too much inside and my body started quavering. _Did she know how much fucking trouble she could get into?_

I placed her on her two feet and turned to face her. "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE BELLA?!!" My voice came out higher than I had expected.

"DON'T YOU FUCKIN' SHOUT AT ME!!!" she matched my tone back while the water works started.

I took a deep breath, I didn't want her to cry but that was a very stupid thing for her to do. "You can't just start picking fights on women in a club; do you know they can have you arrested?" I ran my hands through my hair in a frustrated motion and started pacing back and forth; trying to relieve the tension I was feeling.

"But she started it!" she wailed. "Whose side are you on anyway?"

Why the hell would she think I'm on anyone's side? I didn't even know what happened. "I am not on anyone's side Bella!" I said keeping my eyes closed, my body was still vibrating with fury.

"You know what? I can't fucking fight with you. I fought over you and I can't fight with you, I just can't," she started walking towards the road.

The anger seemed to surpass as a feeling of weakness devoured me. _Now she's fucking angry with you dipshit._ The thought made me feel even weaker. I wanted to be the last person she'd get upset with but that always seemed to turn out the opposite whenever it included Tanya.

"Where are you going Bella?" I shouted after her, but she didn't stop. "Bella come back you'll freeze! Your jacket's still in my car." I continued but she didn't.

So officially, I am an ass. I'm a motherfucking ass. I just shouted at my girlfriend and now she is mad at me on New Year's Eve, to think I was planning for great sex to enter the year. _This is fucking fantastic Douchebag!_

I ran to the valet parking and called for the boy who helped me park my car. "GET ME THE GODDAMN CAR JERRY BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OFF!!!!" I bellowed as the little boy started running with my car keys deeper into the parking lot. I had to park the new baby in a safe place in order to avoid damages if not Jacob would possibly rip my head off.

_Calm down Edward, you can't go back to Bella in this jackass state,_ I tried to soothe myself as the boy drove the car to where I was standing and handed me the keys. I was starting to get worried as I sped off from the club. It was late and almost New Year and I couldn't see any sign of Bella on the road. I took the normal route I used earlier to get to the brothel and I still couldn't see her. My heart started galloping as thoughts of all the possible places she could have been flooded my brain. _She couldn't have gotten far right?_ I tried to clear my head to think of any other way she could have taken. I turned to the right side of the road, widening my stupid peripheral vision in order to locate her beautiful figure anywhere. _God please keep her safe for me, I can't live with myself if anything happens to her. _

I was about to start praying to God to grant me superpowers for five fucking minutes in order to find her fast enough when I finally found her on the corner of the road with some guys who started running away from her. Her body fell helplessly to the ground as I leapt out of the car and hurried to her side. "Bella, Bella honey, can you hear me?" I lifted her shivering form up and carried her to the car. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, as if that was enough for her to forgive me.

I drove quickly to my house and did a quick inspection on her body to ensure she was okay. I took out her clothes and washed her body with a towel and a bowl of warm water, cleaning the wounds and observing the purple contusions that Tanya's claws had spewed on her skin. Her cheeks were also colored in bruises but they were nothing severe. When I was done with the cleaning, I placed my big warm black sweater on her before setting her to completely lie on the bed and sleep. I took a hot shower to calm my nerves before going to bed, my mind still wondered about the stupid guys who were running away from her earlier tonight. Finally I retired to bed with Bella's warmth engulfing me.

Eleven hours of sleep later, my phone beeped with a message from Carlisle:

_Edward, I need to see you urgently. Come home as soon as you can. – Dad_

_There was nothing better than getting a fucking wakeup call from your dad_, I groaned and gently placed my feet on the floor without waking Bella. She looked like an angel sleeping, an angel with a bad hair day that is. Her hair was spilled all over my pillows; her chin was resting on her right hand while her whole body folded itself into a ball under the covers. I tiptoed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and took a shower. I went downstairs and made a hot soup for her hangover, dished the soup into a deep bowl and carried it on the tray with a glass of water. _It's not like this would make her forgive you anyway_, I opened the door and set it down on the stand beside the bed.

Well, she definitely wasn't going to wake up on her own today so I decided to play some music. I was thinking of playing very loud rock music, but then I was sure she'd definitely never forgive me after that, so I placed my soft tunes CD into the player and it started off with _**if you're not the one**_ by _**Daniel Beddingfield**_. I parted the drapes open, allowing sunlight to illuminate the room.

"Bella are you awake?" I asked in a gentle voice as I sat on the bed next to her.

She tossed and turned before meeting my eyes. "Who the fuck are you?" she asked, squinting her eyes, her hands resting on her forehead.

"It's me Edward," a smile turned up at the corner of my lips. She looked so fucking beautiful in the morning.

"Who the fuck is Edward?" she croaked, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Alcohol can't make you lose your entire memory," I smirked as I brought the soup bowl closer to her.

"No it doesn't and that's why I don't wanna talk to you. I can still remember your fucking eruption yesterday." Her face melted into a frown as she pouted her lips and snatched the bowl from me.

"Bella, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. I was just really upset about your safety, I didn't know if you were going to get into trouble," I looked intently into her brown eyes. "Would you forgive me?" I placed my cute puppy dog face on as she took a few spoons of soup and dropped the bowl down.

"I guess," she shrugged as I passed a glass of water and two pills of Tylenol to her. She slowly gulped the pills down and turned her gaze back to me. "Tanya knows everything," she whispered in a bleak tone. "She spilled everything in the club yesterday. Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all know including a fucking bunch of strangers," I slowly sank in the news I was receiving and kept still for a minute or two. "Are you angry?" she bowed her head down. "'Cause I mean it's okay if you don't wanna see me anymore," she continued.

"No, why would I be?" I raised her chin up slightly to face me. "This doesn't change anything. Well apart from the fact that my family now knows, but my feelings haven't changed a bit. I'm not sure how they will take it but I could care less," I moved closer to her. "You are the only thing that matters to me; I really don't care about other people's opinions."

"But you'll be…Like you're fucking wealthy and very successful; won't it be awkward for you being with me? I wish I were a secretary or a lawyer or a doctor or a writer, any profession that had some sort of dignity to be worth having you. But I don't, I'm just a common prostitute. I share my body with other men. You have no hold of me, nothing to claim that I'm yours. I've got nothing Edward."

"Bella, you're not a prostitute to me. You're an amazing person to me. You don't have to have a great job to be with me. Yes, I'm a little peeved that I get to share you with other men. But I'd do it for you; I'd do anything for you. So I really don't fucking care what everyone else thinks, I only care what you think." My forehead rested on hers. "I've fallen for you, Swan and nothing can change this." My hands held her face as I brought my lips to hers.

I kissed her fervently, slowly diving my tongue into her warm mouth. She welcomed it, matching my movements, sucking and savoring my taste. My hands moved from the sheets to her silky legs moving up to her thighs. Her back was rested on the head side of the bed and I moved toward her in a way that I was in between her legs. Her hands tied themselves within my hair as our mouths continued to work each other. I pulled away for a bit to catch my breath, feeling a little dizzy by the sensations she was giving me.

She licked her lips as my breathing became normal. "My father wants to see me,"

"Oh," she chewed her lower lip.

"But I'll be back soon, I promise and we can do something today, anything you'd like," _I'd take you anywhere you wanted to go if you wanted, I'd fucking give you anything._

"Can we just stay in? I'm not sure if I want to go out today," she said, her hands playing with the ends of my shirt. _But because she's Bella, she prefers the simple stuff and I love her for it._

"Of course, we can watch a chick flick movie, order takeouts, play games and make out like horny teenagers." I chortled.

"Sounds perfect, I'll just take a shower while you go meet your dad," she pulled away from me and hopped off the bed. I suddenly felt the need to nickname my dad cockblocker.

"You do remember how to do that right? Cause I can help you out, if you want me to. My services are entirely free," I smirked.

"Nice try Edward," she stuck her tongue out playfully before entering the bathroom.

I quickly grabbed the keys to the Volvo and rushed to the car. The faster I saw my father, the faster I got home to Bella.

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************

"What the fuck is this Edward?" Carlisle snarled as he slammed the newspapers with fury on the table forcefully. I glanced down to see the front page of the Peninsula Daily News and Olympic Trader. On the front cover was a picture of Bella on top of Tanya with a headline that read: _**Edward Cullen creates a battlefield with prostitute and Denali as Warriors**_ on the side of the paper in the entertainment section of the Olympic Trader. They couldn't even think of a better headline, but then I wasn't expecting anything.

"My love," Esme gave him a scornful look.

"Sorry about my language," he took a calming breath and narrowed his eyes toward me. "Can _please _you explain this?"

"I'm not really sure what to say," I scrunched my eyebrows while rubbing my chin. "Why don't you ask Tanya? I'm sure she can help you with that information since she was part of it."

"Tanya is staying with Emmett and Rosalie at the moment and all she said was that your _barbaric _girlfriend punched her in the face." Esme informed, taking a seat. I glared at her. "Her words not mine," she shrugged. "She won't even let us see her" she sighed.

"Well she's not barbaric," I snapped back with irritation.

"But she's a prostitute," Carlisle argued.

_So fuck what? _"It doesn't change anything," I slouched into my chair, folding my arms and watching their livid expressions.

"Honey, are you on drugs?" Esme shot me an empathetic look.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. _Why the fuck would she think that? Do I look like someone on drugs? _I felt a bit insulted.

"You know what?" Carlisle said softly, "It's okay." He said, trying to compose his features.

"Really it is?" I asked, almost believing for a second that maybe God had come upon him and he had somehow developed a caring heart.

"NO IT"S NOT OKAY EDWARD! IT"S FUCKING NOT OKAY!" his eyes looked into mine with ferocity as his voice increased with more volume than before. My father had a bad temper like mine which was entirely bad to have two people angry at the same time so I made sure I was calm.

"Carlisle," Esme censured.

He took a deep breath. "Edward, you sleep with millions of girls and out of those, you couldn't find a decent one to carry a relationship with? Are you mocking your mother and me? Is this your way of telling us we should allow you make your own decisions? Is this some kind of a sick joke?"

Dad," I started, feeling a little bit offended that he would even consider this a travesty. "I'm not mocking you; I don't know why you would think that. It just so happens that it's Bella I want to have a relationship with. It's really nothing personal. I want her, full stop, nothing more, nothing less, only her." They were really starting to get on my nerves. What was so wrong about dating Bella? She was a sweet, caring beautiful smart woman that I'd love to have on my arms any day. It's not like she had a disease. She wasn't Osama bin laden. She was like every normal fucking human being on this earth. So why the hell was everyone getting so agitated?

"Are you out of your damn mind? A prostitute?!" he stared at me with incredulity. "Do you know who you are?"

"Yes, I'm Edward Anthony Cullen." I retorted.

"You cannot date her; you have to find someone else. She will not be allowed into the Cullen household. You have a reputation to take care of and a common prostitute won't soil that for us." He finished bluntly.

"I'm sorry father, but it is my decision to choose whoever I want to date. I'm the one dating them not you. I have a right to do whatever I want to do!" I said through gritted teeth.

"No you don't! You are carrying my surname! I gave life to you! You don't get to do anything without my damn approval." He pounded his fists on the table knocking off the papers to the floor.

"Maybe that was when I was a child but now I am a man. I know what I want and it's Bella." I said under my breath.

"Edward shut up!" Esme interceded.

"Mom, it's not everything you like that you'll hear, that's life for you." I replied boorishly, clenching my fists at my sides. They were seriously working my nerves.

"Edward, you must understand," Esme said in a placid tone. "You're a wealthy man, a respected man, from a respected family. Bella is a prostitute, for all we know; she might be using you for your money. This relationship can't continue. Think about what it will do to you if she cons you out of your money. There are so many reasons why this cannot be accepted,"

"You can't date her." Carlisle said brusquely. "You must end it at once! If you don't want to be with Tanya, that's fine but you can't be with Bella, you must break it off!"

"I'm sorry but I can't do that and it isn't your choice to make,"

"Edward, listen to your father for once!" Esme reached out for me but I dodged it.

"I've listened and I've said my decision. Now I've got to go, a lovely woman is waiting for me and you taught me to never make women wait," I stood up, grabbed my coat off the chair and walked to the door.

"Don't defy me Anthony!" I stopped. That was the first time I heard my father use that name and the use of it was supposed to be of grave importance. I closed my eyes and took a deep steady breath, this would be the second time I disrespect him. The first time was when I chose business over medicine and that took a very long time for us to settle our dispute. Now, it was Bella. My mind began to question itself if what I was doing was worth it. I never fought over my parents about a girl before, no girl has ever been that important for me to go through that kind of trouble for. But this was Bella Swan, she wasn't any other girl and I wasn't sure what charm she had placed on me but I finally realized that there was more with her, I had fallen too deep and I just couldn't walk away.

I smiled and then walked out the door as my father shouted malicious remarks after me.

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"So what are we watching? Made up your mind yet?" I asked as I watched her looking over the stack of DVDs in the shelf as I want you by Kings of Leon flowed through the surround system.

"There are all action movies here, I want something romantic or a comedy," she turned to me, holding a can of coke in her hand.

"Well, I thought you were a tough chic, I didn't know you _adored_ romance," I snickered as she showed me her middle finger.

"Hmm…here's one, my best friend's wedding," she placed the shiny disc into the player. "I do prefer horror movies though, I think they are the best kind of movies," she cuddled next to me and I placed the blanket around us.

We spent an hour and forty five minutes watching the movie with Bella drooling over how hot Dermot Mulroney was, and with me singing say a little prayer for you. I couldn't understand her celebrity crush for Dermot and then she asked me who I thought was a sexy badass in Hollywood and I replied Angelina Jolie and Eva Mendes. She couldn't understand my own crush on them and we finally came into the conclusion that if we were to cheat, it would be with either of them and we'd totally not get mad. The door bell rang and I went to collect our pizza, after giving a tip to the pizza boy, he was on his way and I walked to the living room. I entered the living room and found her holding a bottle of wine sitting by the fire place with a blanket and four pillows on the floor surrounding her. She was dressed in my light blue shirt that had three of its buttons opened displaying my white wife beater. My blue striped tie danced around her neck with a pair of my socks on her feet and I couldn't think of anything else that could be fucking sexier.

"Hey jackass! Are you going to ogle me all day, cause I can decide to do a show for you, or you're gonna bring your hot ass here with the pizza and eat?" she ran a hand through her hair.

I walked to her, dropped the box of pizza on the blanket and settled on the floor. "So tell me about Mike," I said placing a chunk of pepperoni pizza in my mouth as she poured red wine into two glass cups.

She looked at me with a befuddled expression before she started. "Mike Newton was a very funny boy." She cackled. "He was my best friend. He had been my best friend since we were kids, my parents knew his, and so whenever they came to visit, we would go and play." She took a sip of the wine and continued. "He always made me laugh. He was one of those nerds you know. Like all those geeky boys. He was into science and shit. I was kind of an outsider in school. I didn't really get along with my classmates. They said I was a snob and I acted like I was better than everyone else. I got that a lot. People always complained about how I wouldn't smile, it pissed me off."

She seemed genuinely happy talking about Mike than whenever she was talking about herself or her family and I made a quick note of that. I wouldn't deny that I didn't feel a bit envious about Mike though but if he made her happy in her past, well I could manage, after all I was the one with her now.

"Anyway, practically he was my only friend. We were really close to each other. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I was also the first girl he ever saw naked." She smiled taking a bite of her pizza. "Like he was like so innocent, not that I wasn't innocent and everything. But he seemed so naïve and cute and nerdy, while I was kind of wild, if you got to know me though. But if you didn't you would just think I was weird."

_Edward, take it easy now. Just drown your jealousy with your wine, gulp plenty as fast as possible._

"So what happened to him?" I took another slice of the pepperoni pizza.

"He and his parents moved away, they said that Mike had to go to college to be a doctor or a pharmacist, not sure. But yeah, they didn't want him to do that in Forks. Plus his father got a job somewhere in Florida." She seemed to be looking at something distant.

"I see…"

"Yup," she bounced back and whatever was on her face so moments ago disappeared with the blink of an eye.

"Did you love him?" I blurted out impetuously. _Shit Edward! You need a fucking brain filter to remove whatever the fuck isn't your business from your head,_ my inner mind screamed at me.

"No, well not that way, he was like my brother," she shuddered. "It just couldn't work out, you know. Besides I've never fallen in love before or even used that word."

"So who was your first?" I poured more wine into the glass.

"First…? Oh, uhm…" she started chewing on her thumbnail, she looked fucking nervous all of a sudden and I felt the urge to retreat from the topic but I wasn't sure when I'd ever get this chance again. This was a truth night and I really wanted to get to know more of her past.

"What's wrong?" I asked after she suddenly became quiet.

"I'm afraid of what you'd think of me," she looked down and dragged the sleeves of my shirt down over her hands.

"Bella, you have to trust me that nothing can make me think of you less," I made her bring her face up to meet my gaze.

"Okay, Aro was my first," she closed her eyes and said quickly. I was bemused at the answer and it almost made me spit out the drink I had in my mouth. I quickly swallowed it down and waited for her to continue. "When I came to the brothel, the first time I arrived there about a year and some months ago. Aro didn't want ignorant girls and he made sure of that. He refused that I work for him since I was a virgin and I really needed to do this. So he offered to take my virginity and teach me everything I needed to know about sex and finally he hired me." She finished and quickly gulped down another glass of wine. "I know it's quite pathetic," she laughed acrimoniously. "You would think that since I was so wild, I would have lost my virginity since." She paused and appeared to be deep in thought. "My uncle did try to rape me once when I was young, well plenty times, but someone always came to my rescue. So he never got the chance, even though there were other things he did with me," Her face turned to disgust.

I was flabbergasted; I was actually a bit distraught and irate. These were one of the things that made her who she was. She had created a shell around herself because of her past, that's why she was taking so much time to open up to me. She didn't want me to know about her past and the many ghosts it held. She was probably embarrassed about it or maybe she tried to lock it up so it wouldn't make her feel depressed and insane.

"So you've heard it Edward, I'm very broken and trust me, I'm worse than what I've told you. That's just the surface and it's okay if you don't want to be with me," tears ran down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. "So on to better shit," she smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

I crawled to her and scooped her into my arms. "I'm not going anywhere Bella unless you want me to leave. You're going to be stuck with me until you kick me out of your life. So you can stop pushing me away. I'm always going to be here even when you no longer have a lower lip because you drill into it every frigging five minutes," she laughed and my chest seemed to feel relieved.

"Warning; you may not have any shirts to yourself anymore," she smiled.

"Whatever is mine is yours," I whispered, kissing her cheeks. "And nothing is sexier than you raiding my entire wardrobe," I kissed her forehead. "Ready to call it a night?" I didn't want to dig into her head anymore tonight, I couldn't stand seeing her sad.

"No! We haven't had our New Year sex yet and this time we are exploring your house." She stood up with a huge grin on her face.

"We are having sex all over the house?" I quickly rose to my feet.

"Yup, well not really but we are exploring." A mischievous smirk lit her face.

"Alice is going to be so grossed out when she comes back," I gathered all the glass cups to a corner.

"She's already angry with me so…yeah. How do you feel about being tied up Mr. Cullen?" she removed my tie from her neck and wrapped it around her hands with a devilish smile plastered on her face.

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**So that's what I came up with. Sorry about the long A/N. **

**Edward needed to break her a little bit in order for some things to come up.**

**Bella has repressed the scene of the five guys wanting to rape her in her memory.**

**Now I wanted her to have a dream about Phil being the fact that almost being raped can trigger that, but there is only so much she can go through for one day.**

**So I reduced the angst in this chapter. I am really hoping you guys liked this.**

**More fluffy stuff to come in the next chapters and a little drama because Bella + Tanya = drama. Except……someone else is involved….hmm….**

**Anyways, see you next chapter!**


	11. Beautiful Billionaire & PrettyProstitute

**A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter even when I was sure it was horrible. I send you all my love and maybe an outtake, who knows? To those who read but didn't review, well I hope you liked it and thank you for reading it; I do hope you read it though and liked it.**

**A big happy birthday to **_**Why isn't Edward real**_**. This chapter is dedicated to you and all other people who continued showing me support for this story.**

**Thanks to my friend who doesn't read fanfiction but might be stalking my story as we speak. Thanks for the idea of the 'never die plant', love you to bits.**

**WARNING: Horrible smut in the beginning. Lol…I try but sometimes there might be bad days, proceed at your own risk.**

**Song for this chapter – Feeling good (Muse) Check profile**

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**THE BEAUTIFUL BILLIONAIRE AND THE PRETTY PROSTITUTE**

"Bella!" Edward called from the bedroom as I finished cleaning my face.

I went into Emmett's bedroom and a pleasurable smile spread across my face as I looked at him. There was nothing more glorious than seeing Edward Cullen tied to a pole acting all submissive. It was like an angel captured from heaven, bound to earth with ropes. I could tie him up all day and stay in this room with him forever. My eyes did a quick scan of his body from head to toe and the smile on my lips grew wider. He was dressed only in his dark denim jean pants. His muscular arms were tied up above his head with one of my pink scarves, his feet were tied to the end of the pole and another scarf bound him at his waist line fully accentuating his V curve. I wasn't sure when he grew abs, but his chest had definitely been toned up which made him a whole lot sexier.

"Now Edward, I know I didn't order you to talk. I gave you a command which clearly stated: _speak only when you're spoken to_," I scolded as his green eyes pierced right through my chocolate ones, instantly breaking every bone in my body.

"I'm sorry," his deep tone dripped with seduction as he bit his lower lips and I had to hold the door for support as a huge wave of lust drove through me. _Bella, be strong!_

"Sorry for yourself!" I hissed and went to put some music on.

Tonight was my night, a night of teasing that is. Edward always made me go through hell whenever we were intimate but today I was going to be the master and I was calling all the fucking shots. Christening the house was a great idea that popped in my head but I was looking for the perfect spot for him to surrender to me and low and behold it was Emmett's former bedroom. The reason I picked it was because of the fucking pole in front of the gigantic bed. Now why Emmett had a pole, I couldn't understand. Edward explained that he and Rosalie did all sorts of sexual experiments and the pole was for her stripping. Well, God bless Emmett because today, Edward was using it for my entertainment. Of course he would be gaining heaps of pleasure but only when I say so. I'm the fucking boss today!

When the music swallowed the entire house, I walked back to the bedroom and smiled at Edward. As the song started, I stripped off his light blue shirt. It fell and landed close to my bare feet, displaying only his white wife beater which was tied at the back to show my figure with a tie around my neck. The corner of his lips curved into a crooked smile as he took in my body. I sauntered closer to him and my fingers danced along his creamy skin, making his body stiffen under them. The room was illuminated with a lot of candles which highlighted his sparkling eyes, courtesy of Edward for the candles.

My fingers grazed from the side of his face down to his neck and unto his masculine chest. I finally stopped the trail right below the buckle of his belt as he closed his eyes and bit his lips anticipating my next movement. I laughed wickedly and removed my hands as a hiss escaped from his mouth. I contemplated in my mind whether covering his eyes or making him watch the torment I was giving him, the latter won. I meandered to the back of the pole and placed my ass on the end of the bed. There was a very short distance between the pole and the end of the bed which made it convenient for me to reach him without stretching. My legs wrapped around his waist and my feet pressed against his chest. It slowly began to dance along his torso and went straight into his jeans.

"Edward," I purred, my voice soaked in temptation as my feet passed his boxers and went straight to his manhood. His cock was hard as a fucking rock and I smiled.

"Edward," I whispered into his ears, making sure my tongue made contact with his earlobe as my feet massaged his pulsing dick. My hands played with his shoulders slowly easing any tension that was filling them. My nipples became hard as they pressed against his back.

"Fuck!" he cursed as my feet picked up pace building him up at the same time I was massaging him and teasing his earlobes.

"Speak only when spoken to Edward!" I hissed and stopped all ministrations simultaneously.

Today's pleasure making was built on the power of touch and the lasting of pleasure, if that made any sense. I wasn't going to allow him release just yet only when I wanted him to. I got up and went to his front to face him, he looked frustrated, good. _It's my fucking turn Edward!_ I smirked internally and removed his belt.

"We are doing it nice and slow today. I'll build up tension and you release only when I want you to," my voice spoke sternly but my eyes looked at him warmly.

Edward Cullen is my prisoner tonight, ladies and gentlemen, let the show begin.

My mouth took his lower lip in between it and sucked it ardently. I continued kissing him without my tongue, slowly building him up. After I thought it was enough, my tongue dived into his mouth and the contact our tongues made at that moment made us moan at the same time. He tasted so sweet, like the wine and strawberries, pure adulterated bliss, his scent filled me as he began to take over the kiss. I stopped immediately and withdrew from his body. His face was covered in a frown as his eyes hooded with lust.

I slowly removed his trousers from his waist exposing his clean white boxers. "You have no fucking idea how hot you are Edward, just the thought of seeing you makes me wet!" I whispered into his ears as I took out his boxers. He groaned.

I took a step back to admire his beautiful body. He was now completely stark naked, his body glistening in the candlelight. He looked like all those guys they put in the covers of GQ magazines, displaying their hot stuff. He could actually pass as a Greek god, maybe god of masculine beauty, perhaps? His eyes looked like he wanted to kill me and I couldn't escape the cackle that came out from my lips. I licked my lower lip and that caused him to groan again. I decided that it wouldn't be fair, him being completely naked and I still dressed in his wife beater. So in one fluid moment, I pulled it over my head, leaving only his tie which stayed in between my breasts.

His eyes raked my body; I was only wearing my white laced panty and no bra. I strolled up to him and pressed our bodies together, pouring kisses like a waterfall on his neck. I could feel his rock solid manhood sliding on my thighs.

My hands worshipped his body and my lips kissed his skin until I came to his dick. I swept my tongue across his length causing him to shiver. My tongue traced it until it stopped at his head.

"Bella, you're killing me," he said in a strained tone.

"Hold it Edward!" I licked the shaft before slowly engulfing all of him into my mouth. I added pressure to his perineum with my hands. He begged for him to touch me but I refused.

"Fuck!" His hips vibrated and I quickly wrapped his waist trying to hold him still. "SHIT!" he growled sexily, as I continued to add more pressure with my hands and slowly introducing my teeth. "Bella please I'm coming, you gotta let me," he begged.

It would have been very wicked for me to not allow him so I continued until he spilled his seed into my mouth. The look on his face as he came violently was pure win. I swallowed everything like as if I was drinking a sweet juice and licked him off before standing.

"Now," I said huskily, fully absorbed in the sensation of the imminence of our bodies gliding together. "You're going to lie on the bed," I ordered, removing all the scarves tying him to the pole. "And make me scream your fucking name till I can't anymore," I licked my lower lip as he lay on the bed waiting for me with his hands at the back of his messy hair.

I pulled off the last piece of clothing from my body apart from the tie as I crawled on top of him. When I was fully on top of him, his hands caressed my body softly as I rained kisses on his nape. I felt him drive slowly into me, alerting every nerve in my body.

"Harder Edward!" I cried as I felt him increase his pace, groaning with each sensation filling my bones. After a few more dynamic thrusts, I felt my walls tighten around him as I came. "EDWARD!!!" my body quivered on top of his. He wasn't far back behind as he spilled into me, my lips consumed his mouth as he screamed my name in the sexiest purr I ever heard.

"Shit Bella!!!" he panted, our bodies molding together.

"Now that Edward Cullen is me being in charge," I smiled, rejoicing at how much I had achieved.

His head fell to my collarbone as he showered me with tender kisses. "You could be in charge all the time but remember when it's my turn, heaven won't save you!" his voice whispered lustfully and I knew I was in for some big big trouble.

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Paradise was a state of contentment in which peace and happiness existed according to Wikipedia, well fuck wiki being with Edward was paradise. The past few days spent with him had been a state of bliss in the highest amounts. I had established ecstasy just knowing he was around me. _This can't be heaven, can it?_ I rolled around the big bed and sighed. The room was still dark, the drapes hung over the windows shielding me from sunlight, the air condition blowing massive cool air with music playing from a CD player somewhere in the house. _Could it be possible that God created two heavens, one for me and one for himself?_ I got up and removed the covers away from my body.

Today was Friday and for the spectacular time that drifted by, I totally forgot all my problems. I forgot the world, I forgot my friends, my job, all the pissed off clients I had to satisfy, the brothel, everything. Nothing else existed apart from my mother whom I checked up on with my calls while sending food and gifts to. I couldn't go and visit her during my stay because of the paranoia I felt that Edward would follow me to the hospital. No matter how much I badly wanted him to know, he couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. So I ordered food and sent it straight to her hospital room.

Seven days had passed with complete euphoria; each day was poles apart from the rest. I felt alive and free. The air was fresh here, there was tranquility, and there was pleasure. Everything was here. I felt happy and that was very seldom. The funniest thing was that I hadn't stepped out of the house since the day I placed my foot in it. How is that even possible? I was an indoor person but I had no idea I enjoyed it this much. I never got bored, I always had something to do like listen to music, read novels, dance around the house, anything. This might not be things to people but the fact that I didn't get to sit at the brothel and wait to be used like a rag really made me appreciate this little freedom.

Edward had resumed work on Monday and even though I didn't get to see him for thirteen hours, his return was sure something to talk about. He always came back with something _special_. It was really weird and I wanted to protest but he claimed that it never cost him to get it.

On Monday, it was a custom made card with a bag of chocolates.

"_I fucking missed you," I pouted my lips as I embraced him into a tight warm hug, allowing his cologne to drown the air in my lungs. I didn't care; it had been thirteen whole hours. I needed my man._

"_I missed you more," he let go and my face fell into a frown at the loss of body contact. "I got you something," my million dollar smile creased his lips. He brought out a big blue card that had BELLA boldly written in the front of it with gold glitters and a bag of chocolates in his other hand. _

"_Edward!" I admonished. "As I clearly recall, it's not my birthday and there is nothing to celebrate so why in heavens name do I have a fucking card with my name printed on it?"I folded my arms and gave him a look that showed my unambiguous disapproval._

"_No it's not your birthday. But every day I spend with you has to be celebrated. It's like I won the lottery or some shit. So yeah if that isn't a celebration, I'm not sure what is." My cheeks burned as I collected the card from him and opened it. It read:_

To my Darling B,

Can you keep a secret? I found a gem on my bed one morning sparkling in different colors. I wanted to give it to the museum but since I'm very selfish I decided that I'd rather keep it to myself. Now don't go telling anyone, because I'm afraid you'll be stolen.

-Yours truly,

Edward.

_My face possibly turned to different shades but I couldn't help it, because that was the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me. I didn't know what came over me but I felt the need to truly show him I appreciated it, so I kidnapped him in a very suffocating kiss. _

It was that day that all the most romantic words I'd heard started flowing like lava from his mouth. At first, I was uncomfortable with the amount of affection he was showing me because I really wasn't used to it. But then I decided to relish it because he made me feel so fucking good!

On Tuesday, it was his musical CD composed with all his piano music and some familiar songs we both knew.

"_What's this now?" I looked at the CD case skeptically as he closed his bedroom door. _

"_It's a compilation of all my music, some I composed and others that I know you'd love to listen to," he flashed me a dashing smile._

"_Edward," I purred as I opened the case. _

"_What? I didn't spend money," he placed his hands in front of him in surrender._

"_But you spent time making it," I held the disc in my hands looking at it as the light bounced rainbow colors on it. _

"_Time is nothing when it comes to you." He walked closer to me. "I could stay with you, a century would pass by and I would never know." He took my face in his. "But every time I spend away from you, be it thirteen fucking hours, seems like a century," And before I knew it, he pressed my lips to his in a kiss._

Wednesday, it was a plant. Actually that was the worst looking plant I had ever seen in my entire life and I'm not kidding. It should have probably gone into Guinness world book of records for that title. Sometimes, I believe Edward is on drugs, no jokes.

"_What the fuck?" I asked, mortified as I stared at the monstrous thing in his hand. It looked like a weed, something that grew wildly in the forest. There were no flowers, it was just green and plain. "This is…" I tried, scanning my brain for the most passionate way to describe UGLY in the harshest possible sense._

"_A very beautiful plant," he chuckled at my expression._

"_Edward sometimes, I believe you're insane. Like seriously," I teased. That's how Edward and I were, always teasing each other in every possible way we could._

"_I know it's not pretty," he sighed. "But you're looking at it from the outside,"_

"_You think?" I huffed, thinking of how many possible ways you could look at a plant. __Of all the holy fuckery,__how the fuck can you look at a plant from the inside? Maybe I'm really that shallow__. "You know I'm beginning to think that you don't think I'm pretty," I made my way to the bed. "I mean most girls usually receive roses or other beautiful flowers from their man but no…not you." I finished as I sat on the bed. "Now it's either that or your brain is just mentally fucked up!"_

"_Why give a rose when it would wither away?" he watched a perplexed expression slap my face and quickly responded. "This is called 'a never die plant'. It's kind of immortal, well supposed to be. If it isn't that florist is gonna give me back my money!" he joined me, mimicking my position on the bed. "It doesn't need to be watered. It does well in sunlight but doesn't require it. It can thrive in the shade. Any natural disaster that falls on it won't kill it." _

"_How the fuck is that even possible?"I asked growing more confused by the minute._

"_Not sure, but how about you tell me in a few years?" his lips twitched into a sexy smile. _

On Thursday, it was a gold pendant that was heart shaped and had a lock on it.

"_Now, this," he held it in his hands. "Is a pendant," __Of course idiot! I'm not a moron, I can see that!__ "It has a lock on it," __Does he think I'm blind?__ I rolled my eyes, "The lock has a key," __Duh!__ "The lock signifies…" __Your heart?__ My left eyebrow rose. "That you're bound." I so was not expecting that statement and my mouth flew agape. "The brothel isn't your only way out Bella," he said demurely. "I'm here." He showed me the key that bounced on his left palm. "I'm always here for you and whenever you're ready, I'll be here." He kissed the key and handed me the pendant. "Wanna put it on?" I nodded, too speechless to talk. I slid it on the chain my mother gave me. Now I could have the two most treasured people in my life literally close to my heart. _

So that's how I fucked five days till Friday, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what else could be better than being with Edward. I never wanted to go back to the brothel after this few blessed days of glee but I knew I had to. Yes Edward could help me but I was too far deep in. I was already below the sea and he was still at shore searching for me.

I finished brushing my teeth and washing my face before heading downstairs. Alice was in the kitchen making coffee when I walked in. Paradise did have a small hole in it and it was Alice Cullen. She hadn't spoken to me since our incident. She had returned from Jasper's house on Sunday night and she hadn't said a word to me since then. Her school had resumed so I wasn't entirely punished by her livid stares and rejection.

"Alice," I called, hoping helplessly that she would look up and regard my presence for once. I hated her being mad at me, I felt like a big ton of bricks had fallen on me every time she ignored me. Sometimes the feeling was replaced with slight annoyance. I couldn't understand why she was so angry; maybe she didn't approve of Edward's decision and thought I wasn't good for him. The truth had become poison now and our friendship was definitely swimming in it. "Alice," I tried again, this time making my voice a little higher.

"Alice, are you ever going to talk to me?" I asked as I watched her pour the hot coffee into her mug, rejecting my presence once again. "Look, I'm sorry okay! But you don't understand," I ran a perturbed hand through my bundle of hair.

"Understand what Bella?" her mug hit the ceramic counter with a loud clank which startled me. She had recognized my presence alright.

Okay so note to self: Alice was definitely anything but cute and bubbly when she was angry; in fact she looked **deadly**.

"No enlighten me Bella, that what? That you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you do for a living, I trust you to tell you everything!"

"I know and I understand that you're upset but--" she cut me off.

"No you don't! I was the one in charge of the club that day," she pointed a finger to herself. "I rented it for my party that day and you broke into a fight. A fight about your job, a job that you never told me about." She took a sip of her coffee and paused. "Friendship is a two way thing Bella and if I can't trust you and you can't trust me, then we aren't exactly friends." Her last sentence struck me like an arrow. "I can't talk right now, I've gotta go. I have school," and with that she scurried out of the kitchen, leaving me to slowly digest and absorb every word that came out from her lips.

Paradise definitely had a hole in it.

Tears ran through the brim of my eyes and down my cheeks. This definitely reminded me of reality. No matter how hard I tried to escape it, it always came back haunting me. I cried for what felt like hours on the kitchen floor and when my body finally became tired, I walked back to Edward's room to sleep.

I woke up and noticed that Edward had returned because of his black suit case sitting on the table beside the mirror close to that ugly plant. I yawned and rubbed my eyes as I stood up from the bed. I still felt a bit weak and my stomach growled furiously reminding me I hadn't eaten today. I walked downstairs and stopped when I heard voices coming from the dining room. I took gradual and quiet steps as I tried to recognize them.

"I can't believe this Edward!" I heard Rosalie's voice yell.

"Rose calm down," Emmett said softly.

"I'm not calming down Em! Your brother is acting like a freaking moron. Did she steal your fucking brain?" she continued ranting in a high pitched voice.

"What's it to you Rose? Please fucking tell me because I don't know why you have a fucking opinion in this matter, it's none of your damned business, it's no one's business!" Edward fired back.

"I have a fucking opinion because I take you as my brother too! I always have and always will whether you like it or not. I'm your friend and your sister in law, I'll tell you when you've gone batshit!!" she shouted back.

"Rose calm down," Emmett intervened again.

"Emmett don't fucking tell me to calm down! If you're not going to talk to him about it then I will!" she barked back.

"I don't really see what the problem is, why the fuck is everyone so agitated?" Edward's voice lowered.

I wanted to go back upstairs, it felt wrong eavesdropping but my curiosity didn't allow me. I wanted to know why they all sounded so intense and irate.

"Because she's a prostitute you dumbass!" she growled.

My breathing accelerated and my heart started doing high jumps. It was because of me?

"If I hear that word from anyone's mouth, I'd fucking kill that person!" Edward bellowed.

My feet stayed firm on the floor as I tried to hear the conversation.

"Emmett talk to your fucking brother, I'm going to meet Jacob. Maybe you can stick some sense into his idiotic brain." She said and after a few minutes I heard the door bang loudly.

Silence devoured the room as I stood there wondering if they were going to continue their banter. Few minutes passed before Emmett spoke. He didn't seem angry but his tone seemed frustrated and tired.

"Edward you must know that this is a huge deal. Mom and Dad have been quarreling about it since your last encounter with them. Tanya is still sulking in my house and hoping you would come visit her. Plus Nana is coming very soon and you know how the Nana is. She is not going to take it likely that the whole family isn't all jolly when she shows."

"You guys are stressing the shit out of me. I have work to do and then you guys decide to blow up all because I'm in a serious relationship, wasn't this what everyone wanted?"

"Yes it was. But it wasn't the kind that blew the whole newspapers in Forks away. The news was much unanticipated even I was shocked when Tanya exploded everything."

"I don't know what you guys want me to do, Em. I seriously don't know because you're all confused."

I was about to start climbing the stairs back to the bedroom when I heard Emmett pop the question.

"Do you love her?"

I stopped and leaned against the white painted walls. I had truly heard enough and I don't know why but I was suddenly anticipating his answer. I didn't know what to expect, I wasn't sure what I wanted him to say. My heart started sprinting full time in my chest and my palms became all sweaty as anxiety crept up my spine at a rapid rate. I didn't know what I wanted to hear but I knew whatever was about to come out from his mouth could possibly change everything.

"Yes," his breathy velvet voice said softly.

_OH MY DEAR GOD!!!! Edward Cullen loves me! Fuck me backwards!!!! Was this supposed to be a shocker? Surely he had dropped all the signs, but to think he actually felt it. Was I supposed to be happy? This was so confusing. How was I supposed to react to this? Aro would never encourage this. This can't be good. He loves me? Three freaking months and some weeks and he loves me? Is that how it's supposed to work? God, what I'm I supposed to do? _The questions flooded my brain.

"But I can't…" he sighed.

My heart tightened, those three words literally almost knocked the wind out of me. I held my chest and slowly walked upstairs, I had heard enough. _But he can't? _Of course he couldn't. He said it didn't mean anything to him that I was a prostitute but I should have known better. Because there was no way it couldn't have bothered him. I was sharing my body with other men after all, basically cheating with his knowledge and he couldn't do anything about it. His family was against it, the media had almost killed him from the news of the club that day. Of course it bothered him, he just lied.

He lied.

He lied.

He lied.

He couldn't love me because the truth is two of us could never be. We were two different pieces that were scattered at separate corners, not able to fully connect. I was a step down for him and there was no way I could ever measure up to him to be equal. Him, the beautiful billionaire and me, the pretty prostitute; this definitely could never work. I should have known this was a big deal, I was only hoping what Heidi said about dreams coming true. But they could never come true because we were in real life and in real life; there was no prince charming with a white horse. And this was definitely not a Cinderella story. So of course this would bother him. I'm so fucking stupid.

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**So what do y'all think? Hahaha… don't worry Edward isn't going to let Bella know he loves her yet, well at least not in the next chapter. It's time to release the Nana (for those who didn't get it, it's his grandmother).**

**What do you think of my attempt to be romantic? This was really hard for me to do because I'm not really into all those Edward lines. Hope it didn't sound too cliché.**

**Now I know people wanted Alice and Bella to reconcile but it would come soon. At this moment, she's just confused. Maybe I'd do an outtake from her perspective, not sure. **

**I had to make him do some sort of declaration because there is so much to come and I can't wait for this slow snail walk I'm building.**

**Tell me how you feel, was it good? Lord I hope it was good. **


	12. She's a fallen angel

**A/N: THANKS GUYS!!! At first I thought people didn't really like that chapter but then I was rewarded with reviews, favs and story alerts. I am so happy you all are still on board with this little story of mine. I can't begin to start explaining how much joy I get when I see a review. Thank you all so much.**

**A shout out to Yylloram because it has been long awaited. Also a big shout out and thanks to the meaning of life because I can. **

**To all those who sent me lovely pms, thank you so much, I smiled at each one of them. **

**I know this update took long but I just moved to my new apartment yesterday which is so beautiful but fucking expensive. I apologize. I wrote this yesterday night and finished this morning. Please be easy on me if the grammar is not superb or if the writing is horrible. Just make an excuse for today.**

**So here it is… Make sure you check my profile for the piano version for Nara and the orchestra version. Play it when it is announced in the story to give the effect more. **

Song for this chapter – Far Away (Nickelback)

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SHE'S A FALLEN ANGEL

I couldn't comprehend why everyone was so vindictive about this issue, hell I didn't even know why this was an issue. The most ridiculous thing about this case was that I wasn't even getting married yet and at this point I really didn't want to know what would happen if that were to be the case. Everyone really needed to chill the fuck out. They were all getting so riled up about this including Rosalie, what the hell? I knew she was concerned about my reputation, if possible hers too, but most of all she had to be concerned about Tanya. That only made sense since they were very close friends and she knew the woman had feelings for me. But most of all no one was concerned about _me_, not to sound selfish though_._ I mean I'm a human being here come on! I have fucking feelings you know, you would think they would at least acknowledge me. Instead they all thought this was some sort of game I was playing, like I really would give out my precious time just to see all of them frustrated.

Then Emmett, the last person who I could ever think of to ask about how I felt, did.

"Do you love her?" he looked at me with all seriousness to gage my reaction.

Well, he didn't really ask how I felt, but he was close. _Do you love her?_ I replayed the question in my head. It was a simple question which required a simple answer.

A few months ago, if someone asked me that about someone else, I would say FUCK NO!

A few months ago, I wasn't sure what I felt for Bella Swan but I was sure it was strong.

A few months ago, I didn't want any sort of commitment.

But now, everything had totally changed. I was different. I saw everything differently and being committed to her seemed very inviting. I wanted nothing else because anything else was less than her. Because anything other than her was definitely lower than the ground I stepped on. She had set a high stone in which no other woman could ever climb and I knew I could never meet any woman and feel the same thing I felt for her.

She brought out a different me I never knew existed, a deep intense side of me. Feelings of happiness, envy, dedication, covetousness, softness, name it all, built up inside me. I was a fucking mush now, a pussy to be exact because of her and I never wanted to be that for anyone else. She gave me a reason to go to bed at night because I couldn't wait for her body to lay with me and surround me with her warmth. She gave me a reason to wake up because I was anticipating her lovely smile. It was like we were one, complete. She was like my soul and how could you ever live without your soul? So if that was love…

"Yes," I breathed, it felt good to let it out. I hadn't admitted it to myself or anyone for the past couple of days. It had been bottled up waiting to explode from every vein in my body. Relief washed over me but then….realization also hit me. "But I can't…" I closed my eyes.

She couldn't know. The moment she found out or even had the slightest clue, she'd bolt like she was never here in the first place. And I as a grown man couldn't admit what would happen if she knew and she left. I'd fucking kill myself. How insane was that? I didn't think I could handle losing her because the thing I felt for her couldn't make me handle her leaving. I was so fucking fucked.

Emmett seemed to be staring into space while I tried to compose my facial expression. "You can't what?" he finally snapped back to earth.

"I can't tell her, she won't be comfortable with it," I let out a bleak sigh as I opened the bottle of dos equis beer in front of me.

"She doesn't know?" he pondered out loud while I nodded in response.

"Besides its good she doesn't know, she might not feel the same way and imagine how terrible it would be if she ever knew and the feeling wasn't mutual, I'd be kind of devastated." I chugged down the beer.

"Dude, I can't believe this…of all people, why her?" he asked with a skeptical look on his face.

"I don't know dickhead, why Rose?" I hissed. It's impossible to choose the people we fall in love with.

"I see your point," he took a swig of his beer.

"So Nana is coming, this should be pretty fun." A light headed laugh escaped my lips, attempting to change the topic. All this talk about love was making me feel a little sick.

"Yeah, she's coming all right. I sense a storm already. Remember the last time she came, mom was almost arrested," he chuckled. "She's holding a meeting with us before Nana's arrival so we'll all be prepared."

"Well you guys should enjoy yourselves," I stood up from the chair and made my way to the kitchen.

"You're not coming?" he followed right behind me.

"Nah, I'm gonna sit this one out. I'll come and see Nana though, that is when she has arrived other than that I ain't going home until everything cools off and they have accepted my decision." I threw the empty beer bottle into the trash can.

"Mom is gonna be sad,"

"Well she should convince Dad 'cause I'm definitely not leaving Bella,"

After a few talks about his wedding coming up and how he was dealing with Tanya in his house, Emmett headed out while I went upstairs. Music was playing in my room, ring by my bells by Enrique Iglesias. I glanced at the bed but it was empty and scattered. The noise of the shower led me to the bathroom, the door was slightly opened and I entered. The hot water created a mist which made the glass doors translucent for me to scope her while taking her shower. I slowly slid the glass doors hoping for her not to notice me just yet. When I had succeeded without getting her attention, I stood for a few minutes gaping at the beautiful naked woman in front of me. The water caressed her as it flowed down her form, underlining all her sensual curves. Her hair was dark brown and fully wet as it swept over her neck, finally sticking to her pale back. I quickly stripped off my clothes and joined her.

"Hey beautiful," the corner of my lips drew a crooked smile as my hands made contact with her skin causing her to shiver under my touch. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up, I almost thought you were dead," I turned her to face me as the water touched my body.

"You took a long time today," she said in a raspy voice.

"Yeah, I had a long meeting today and then Rosalie and Emmett paid a visit, have you been crying?" I frowned, holding her chin up to meet my eyes.

"No it's probably the water,"

"Why were you crying?" I continued, not buying the crap she was feeding me.

"It's nothing really," she tried to smile but finally sighed when she knew I wouldn't drop it. "I'm just really upset that Alice doesn't want to talk to me,"

"Bella," I kissed her forehead. "Alice will come through; she just needs some time to process all this stuff out."

"Yeah I guess,"

"Come let's get you clean and dry, I want to show you something," I poured some body wash in my hands and lathered it gently.

When we had finished cleaning up, I took her downstairs to one of the rooms that I hadn't been to in a while. It had most of the instruments from Jasper's band including my grand piano.

"Wow, that's a shitload of instruments," she gasped, her hands running down the body of an acoustic guitar lying on the floor.

"Yeah, most of it is Jasper's. This is mine." I beamed sitting on the bench in front of the black piano.

She left the guitar and came to sit beside me. "Since when did you start playing the piano?"

"Since Esme forced me." I smiled. "I was twelve, I hated it at first but everyone had something they were known for. Emmett had his sports games and Alice; well everyone liked her for who she was already. So I decide to accept music since sulking didn't help."

"So your jealousy made you discover music?"

"Kinda, I noticed that it was a way to express my emotions and let out my secrets." My fingers danced around the keyboard. "Mind if I play something for you?"

"No please go ahead, I want to meet your best friend," she giggled.

I cracked my knuckles before allowing my fingers work their magic on the keys. I decided to play Nara by E.S. Posthumus because it was thrilling and it described how exactly I felt at the moment. I loved this piece and even though it felt empty without the whole orchestra playing it, I still got chills just from listening to it. The music spoke volumes to me as I played, relieving all the tense muscles in my body. It was the best song to illustrate how I felt; the intense parts described all the stress I was feeling from my family while the soft melodies explained what Bella was doing to me with her presence.

I closed my eyes as thoughts filled my mind. The first moment I saw her, I was drowned with her awesomeness from the car.

"_So you listen to Van Morrison?" she asked, turning to face me as her deep voice instantly made me feel happy._

"_Yes," I replied, wondering how such a woman could make me feel this way in such a short amount of time. _

I should have known that from that instant, she was special and that might totally sound cliché but it was the truth. When you think of it, love was cliché at times.

It made men seem like little boys.

My fingers tried to match the intensity I felt when my parents found out she was a prostitute.

"_You can't date her." Carlisle said brusquely. "You must end it at once! If you don't want to be with Tanya, that's fine but you can't be with Bella, you must break it off!"_

How in heaven's name did they expect me to throw this blessing sitting right beside me out my door?

But then as it slowed into a soft rhythm, I recalled all those gifts that I gave her and how happy she was. God! She was a masterpiece. I needed her to feel how strongly I loved her, how much I cherished her; how I could never let another man hurt her again. I wanted to protect her, to kill those bastards who thought she had no virtue. If only she'd let me. _Bella please let me give you more_, my thoughts cried out as I brought the piece to an end.

"Wow that was…beautiful Edward," a warm happy smile lit her lips and that went straight to my heart. _I only want to make you happy. I could dedicate my entire existence soulfully for that purpose._

But because I was Edward Cullen and I can be very arrogant and quirky at times, I decided to show off by playing Fur Elise by Beethoven. She watched me with so much awe as I pressed each key with a smug grin. I really needed to thank Esme for giving me this opportunity to be skilled at the piano; I never knew how handy it was until now.

"Could you play _Good Enough _by Evanescence, I know you know it because it was on the CD you gave me," she cleared her throat as I finished the music. "Maybe we could do a duet?" she took her lower lip in between her teeth and I bit back a moan, my dick was twitching slightly in my pants.

"Sure, let me just warm up and then I'll cue you in when to join," I smiled as I tried to recall the notes of the song. "Now it may not be perfect but yeah you can join in," she cleared her throat and coughed several times before starting.

"_Under your spell again, I can't say no to you. Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand. I can't say no to you. Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly .Now I can't let go of this dream. I can't breathe but I feel..._ _Good enough, I feel good enough for you." _Her voice started off soft and sweet, filling the room.

"_Drink up sweet decadence. I can't say no to you, and I've completely lost myself," _her voice grew an octave higher echoing off the walls. _"And I don't mind. I can't say no to you. Shouldn't let you conquer me completely." _Her voice went back deep and soft._ "Now I can't let go of this dream. Can't believe that I feel..."_ she closed her eyes. "_Good enough,  
I feel good enough. It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good."_ There was so much emotion between us and I tried to pay attention to the keys that were pressed under my fingers.

"_And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall. Pour real life down on me."_ She opened her eyes and stared at me, her voice flowing avidly. _"'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough." _Tears filled her eyes and her gaze never left me. _"Am I good enough for you to love me too?" _her face was just inches away from mine. The air was becoming pungent and the intensity was far too consuming. I could feel her breath fan across my face as I tried my best to focus on the notes of the song. _"So take care what you ask of me, 'cause I can't say no"._

"Bella…I wanted to tell you--" my phone interrupted me with its ringtone.

I picked it up and looked at the small screen to find out who was calling me, it was Esme. This was almost the tenth time she was calling this week. I wasn't sure what she wanted. The Nana was coming, okay, I knew that. I knew she didn't want to tell me that she had accepted Bella because dad would have cleared that up. So she was just trying to get me to talk to her. I exhaled and put the phone on silent and into my pocket.

"Who's that?" Bella asked.

"It's no one." I replied quickly.

"It didn't look like no one." She kept looking at me.

"Probably Emmett calling to find out if I'm going clubbing today," I turned my attention to the piano. I didn't like lying to her.

"But he could have asked when he came."

"Probably forgot." I didn't want her to know about my parent's views on the two of us being together. I was saved by the loud rumble her stomach made. "Hungry?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay let's go prepare something for you to eat." I stood up, my hands rubbing the back of my neck.

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I tapped my pen on the rectangular brown desk, my eyes instantly drifting towards the huge circular wall clock every five minutes. I could fucking swear that every time I looked at the time, the long hand was still in the same exact position as it was before, this meeting was seriously dragging on. Mr. Peterson was still explaining how we could provide more useful services for the hotel branches by adding real estate to the business. Emmett was in another meeting that was supervising the new changes to Cullen Inc with Black Corporations. So I had to pay strict attention to whatever the crap Peterson was saying but my mind kept diverting to Bella.

It had been three weeks, three goddamned weeks since I had heard from her, three fucking weeks.

Three weeks of hell, I was beginning to lose it.

No actually I _was_ losing it.

Before the three weeks, she had been sounding depressed. I asked her what was wrong but she would just shove it off. The time we spent on phone calls reduced with her abrupt _I need to go_ ending and our texting also fell out of the loop. I wasn't sure what was wrong with her but I was sure that whatever it was; wasn't good at all. The voice on the phone became miserable more and more every day, she sounded like as if she lost someone really close to her, like she was mourning. The big problem was that she refused to talk to me about it and she always got agitated when I pressured her into talking. When I couldn't take it anymore, I called Heidi to ask if she was still alive. Heidi said that she needed some breathing space and she would tell me when she was ready. That news only seemed to frustrate me more. I needed to know what the fuck was going on and I hated being outside the loop.

The more distant she became, the more I got soaked and drowned in the pool of uneasiness. I felt like she didn't trust me enough to let me know what was going on with her and that really made me feel shitty. What the hell could possibly be going on? I needed to know. How could I help her if I didn't know? I didn't know what to think anymore.

"So Mr. Cullen you'll decide and let us know." Peterson said as he closed his presentation and shut his suitcase. Great! Now I spent two hours feigning interest and attention when I was really interested in getting the hell out of there.

"Okay I'll let you know." I replied without much thought to what he was saying as I walked out of the room while loosening my tie.

I walked into my office with Emmett following right behind me, I guessed that his own meeting wasn't that long and everything went according to plan.

"Edward, meet your new assistant, Chelsea Anderson. She'll be taking over Monique." Emmett said uncomfortably as I brought my head up to see a sexy red-haired dressed in a brown blouse that exposed more than enough of her chest I wanted to see with a pair of long black corporate pants. She carried a stack of folders in her right hand.

"Hi Mr. Cullen," she smiled as she brought out her hands to shake mine and I replied the simple gesture back. "I have arranged the meetings for the next coming week and Mr. Black wanted you to sign some papers." She arched her back to place the folders on my desk; I could see her breasts with the angle. "These documents are colour coded so you don't get confused as to which belongs to which." She smiled politely. "Your coffee would be available for you shortly."

"Uh…thanks." I said with a hint of confusion in my tone. There was something about Miss Anderson that I couldn't quite place. It was almost like she was trying to get my attention. I wasn't quite sure but then maybe being away from Bella for this long was making me delusional.

"I'll just be at my desk if you need anything," she smiled and then winked seductively at me before leaving.

My eyebrow rose up, wondering why she was so upfront about her flirtations and Emmett's reactions told me there was something more to this.

"Emmett," I called as I noticed his discomfort. "Is there something I should know?" I cocked a brow in his direction.

"What do you mean?" he asked, taking a seat in front of me.

"What's up with her?" I shifted the folders to one side of my desk. "There's something about her, I can't place."

"You like her already?"

"No!" I quickly responded. "Of course not,"

He sighed heavily, his hands rubbing themselves together on the desk. "That's good to know."

"So you support us being together?" I was growing more and more confused by the minute with the mood swings he was having.

"Actually I don't care; I don't want to be in the middle of this. It's your life and your choice. I just wanted to know how deeply you care for her and if you were really serious when you claimed to love her."

"Of course I was serious, why wouldn't I be?" I paused, what did this have to do with anything? "So what is it that you're not telling me?" I reverted back to the conversation he was obviously trying to avoid.

"Well Tanya---" I cut him off hastily, patience wasn't one of my characteristics.

"Cut straight to the point!"

"Sir your coffee is here," Chelsea barged in holding a black mug with steamy coffee in it. As she placed the mug on my table, I wasn't sure what magic happened. But after a few seconds, she was bending in front of me, trying to pick her phone from under my desk with her ass obstructing my view. "I'm so sorry sir," she said still swinging her ass in front of me.

_What the hell?_ I shot Emmett an angry look and he sighed. "Chelsea could you give us a second?" he asked.

"Okay sir, I've found it. Thanks." She stood up, picked the phone and left.

"Emmett, what in heaven's precious name was that all about? And I know you have something to do with because you can't clearly cover your tracks!" I said exasperatedly.

"It's mom," he slouched back into his chair.

"Mom?" a dumbfounded look came upon my face.

"Yeah, she said that since you need a new secretary, I should hire Chelsea,"

"Okay," He was still not making any sense.

"To seduce you," he finished lightly.

"What the fuck?" I stood up in bewilderment, anger slowly coursing through my veins and going straight to my brain to remove any rational thinking other than how I was going to fucking kill her.

"Edward you need to calm down, I wasn't supposed to tell you." He stood up with me as I raked my hair.

My mother was clearly fucking psychotic that could be the only possible explanation. What did she think she was going to accomplish by this? So she thought this little stunt was going to make me dump Bella, she probably didn't know her son all that well then. I couldn't believe that she would stoop so low. I didn't look at him; my mind started filtering thoughts on how to strangle the life out of her. How could she do this?

"The Nana is arriving this evening; you should be there for dinner at seven." He said walking to the door.

"Are there any other surprises, I don't know maybe Grandfather is not really dead."

"Not that I know of but she said we should all be there to welcome Nana so information is set across since you didn't make the family meeting,"

"Thanks Em," I said as he shut the door and left me to process everything.

When I was done at the office, I went home to take a shower and go for the first time in a month and two weeks to my parent's house. I wasn't sure how I was going to approach this subject with her but I was going to play it cool for a while. I had headed to the gym earlier on to throw all my frustration on the red punching bag downstairs in my house. It was a little bit windy and even though there was no sign of snow, it was cold. I flipped my hands through my hair uncomfortably and was seriously wishing I could get a smoke. As soon as I reached the big gates of the Cullen Mansion, all the anger just radiated back. I tried to stay calm as I packed in the garage and walked to the front door. I stood there staring at my polished black shoe with my hands in my pockets when Tanya answered the door bell. I hadn't seen her since the incident which was weeks ago. She was talking to someone inside when she opened the door so she didn't recognize me straight away.

"Yes, alcohol is in the back storage…" she said, looking into the house with the door slightly held open.

_Could this night get any worse? I think not._

"Hello Tanya," I cleared my throat, it even felt strange saying her name.

"Edward…" her voice broke as she turned to face me with sadness. "I'm sorry I wasn't expecting…I didn't know you were coming. How are you?" she looked at me with concern in her eyes which left me wondering. I just decided to not talk to my parents, I wasn't sick or dead. Maybe she didn't know that.

"I'm good and you?" I retorted as I walked into the house.

"Okay but would have been way better if I got a call from you at least." She said and that was when I first noticed her bruises that seemed to be fading away.

"Yeah, sorry, about that I've been really busy." _Not quite_.

"Edward's here?" I heard my mother's voice shout in jubilation as she ran down the stairs. "Oh my God, Carlisle Edward's home, I told you he'll come back!" she exclaimed and then crashed into my chest for a hug.

It took a lot of will power not to suffocate her right there. I took a strangled deep breath and reciprocated back the hug wondering if I should just pull out her hair now that I had the chance.

"It's so good to see you finally. I knew the girl would come to her senses." She removed herself from the embrace but still held me in place to look at me. I was slightly confused when she said _the girl would come to her senses_. What girl could she be talking off, Chelsea? "Your father is a little bit angry with you so please don't take into context anything he says," she whispered as we entered deeper into the house, I didn't even take note if Tanya followed us. I wondered how she felt about my mother and the whole Chelsea thing, was she comfortable with it?

Two hours later with almost everyone sitting on the table, it was nine o' clock when I heard Nana's voice stream across the room. No one had eaten yet since we were waiting for her. Everyone immediately stood up and went to the door to welcome her. She looked…different. Her hair wasn't as grey as it was before; I guess she must have died it. She was wearing a thick brown sweater with a pair of khaki pants and makeup?

"Mother it's so good to see you," Carlisle said, stepping out from the direction of his study. I hadn't seen him all night, I was hoping to avoid him and he wasn't making any moves to see me either.

"I'm sure it is that's why the driver came to pick me up instead of you. It's definitely good to see me," Sarcasm impinged her tone as the driver brought in her luggage.

"Don't say that mother, I was on call earlier on and I didn't want you to wait for me." He apologized, looking terribly nervous which was very rare.

"Save it Carl!" she placed her palm in front of his face. "Oh look what we have here, the devil's incarnate. Esme lovely how are you doing?" she asked with a fake smile. Did I mention that my mother and Nana _never_ got along?

"Not bad and you?" my mother returned the fake smile with less enthusiasm.

"Good, ah my big bear grandson. It's good to know you'll be getting married soon even though I still don't know why you would pick Rose." She hugged Emmett and stared at Rose who was fidgeting at the back of him. "But I guess I really don't have much control over what my children do anymore. I'm only old and I'll soon die anyway." She laughed, shaking Rose's hand and moving to Alice. "Popeye, how are you sweetheart? Still with that hot guy?" she giggled as she embraced Alice. Jasper wasn't able to make it for dinner because he had an art exhibition to perform in.

"Yes Nana, Jasper's still here." Alice replied in a small voice.

"That's good because if you don't want him, I'll like to have him." She smiled and then moved to me. "AH, prince charming himself." She held my arms and looked at me as I flashed her a crooked smile. "That breathtaking smile of yours is going to break a girl's heart someday," she said warmly before enveloping me. "Don't pick Tanya," she said in a small whisper. "Just saying," she pulled away from me. "So this is it, I'm back here. By the way Carl, Marcus sends his greetings," she said over her shoulder walking to the dining room. "Oh look perfect wife set perfect dining table. You should enroll for a Stepford wife competition Esme, I'm sure you'd win." She winked at her as everyone shuffled into their seats. "You people shouldn't have waited for me, I feel really bad now." She sat down and placed the white napkin on her laps.

"It's okay Nana; we just finished making the food." Esme said softly, quickly gulping fast her drink which I was sure contained vodka.

Dinner carried on in pure utter uncomfortable silence, my mother kept on refilling her glass, Carlisle faced his food with the concentration he'd probably use during surgery, Emmett and Rosalie sat far apart, which was the first. Alice sat beside me drinking her glass of water probably wishing Jazz was here. And I sat down trying to hold my laughter in. My confrontation could wait, I needed to enjoy this. The silence was disturbed by a door bell ringing which surprised everyone since we weren't expecting anyone else at this time.

"I'll get it," Tanya quickly got up and almost sprinted off to the door.

"What are you doing here?" I heard her voice from the hallway.

"I'm here to see Edward," a voice that has been haunting my dreams for the past weeks spoke as they both walked into the dining room.

"Bella?" incomprehension swept past my face as I stared at her leaning by the door frame. _What was she doing here?_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So yeah that's it pumpkins. Did you like Nara? I love it.

I'm not sure if it that's good. But I'm so looking forward to next chapter, I have written half of it already and I can't wait to share it with you.

Why do you think Bella has been away from Edward?

What do you think she's doing there? Its funny how Tanya is so quiet now; I wonder why… something's up!

Don't you just like the Nana and Esme's relationship? And yes she has a thing for Jasper but she doesn't like Rosalie.

Whose perspective do you want to see next?

See you next chapter!


	13. Our love is an illusion

A/n: WOW! Can I just say that I was totally fucking blown away by the response of last chapter? I got 19 reviews, that's the highest I've ever gotten before. Nana really blew you all away didn't she? I did a happy dance for each time my mail buzzed in a review…THANK YOU SO MUCH. Like how can I express my undying gratitude?

This is dedicated to each and everyone who put a lovely smile on my face with their review & pm, also to those who just joined on board with this little story, plus those that read but don't review too.

I know some people asked for EPOV but I had to deal with Bella first, EPOV is definitely next. I'm sorry. I was pretty excited for this chapter but now, I'm not so sure. It might be good or it might not be…I'll let you decide.

Okay, now I know the Nana got you all with the last chapter but just know everything can't be exactly jolly. With that I leave you with this…

**Song for this chapter – Take it all Away (RED) and yes I love them. Song highly recommended!**

* * *

OUR LOVE IS AN ILLUSION

_**-"If you truly love someone you would want them to be happy without you" - anonymous**_

* * *

_Three weeks before the show up at the Cullen's place._

"This bra doesn't fit me," Jessica whined as she tried to strap the red bra on.

"That's 'cause it ain't your fucking size!" Heidi hissed running her hands through my hair and braiding some strands.

It was a Thursday night and there were really no customers today. Yesterday night had been quite a night, we spent it dancing and acting as Pussycat Dolls during karaoke. It was a whole load of fun.

But now, I was in my room bored out of my mind, lying on Heidi's lap while she tried to braid a pattern on my hair. Jessica, Angela and some other girls were in the room. Angela was reading an Archie comic, totally into the whole Betty & Veronica shit. Kings of Leon blasted through the speakers while I watched Jess try to fit into a bra that was too fucking big for her.

Things had been going fine, Renee was getting better. I had completed the payments for the surgery and the doctors confirmed that they hadn't seen any ruptures or plaques, but they still wanted to watch her for a bit. Renee was pretty ecstatic about being released from the hospital soon when I last saw her.

Edward and I were good for now. I hadn't confronted him about his feelings. I just pretended that I didn't hear anything he said, even though in my dreams I could hear him say it over and over again. Denial just seemed like the best way to approach this. I wasn't ready for any complication.

"It's not fair! I really liked this bra and I spent money on it," Jessica cried as she stared at the mirror. I disguised my laughter as a cough when I saw the bra hanging on her small breasts.

"It was on sale Jess and it wasn't even that expensive," Angela chipped in, removing her eyes from her comic for a few seconds.

"Wait!" Heidi said, twirling one of my locks in her hand and applying some hair mousse to it. I had no idea what the fuck she was doing with my hair. I was going to wash everything off when I took a bath this evening. "Why would you buy a bra that's not your size?"

"It was in Victoria Secret and it was pretty." Jessica always had an obsession with that store.

"You're dumb!" Heidi exhaled and turned her attention back to my hair.

"Bella, Aro wants to see you," Claire said as she tilted the door open to look for me.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," I said shakily as I stood up. Heidi shot me a worried glance and Angela shot me a sympathetic look.

I got up, wore my slippers and put on my black hoodie. I couldn't help but notice the other girls' glances as I stumbled out of the door on to the hallway. Aro had been back for three days but no one had seen him yet apart from Victoria and that's when he wanted to fuck her. I wasn't sure what he wanted to see me for but in a way I felt scared. My mind kept telling me that this meeting wasn't going to end well, and that it had something to do with Edward. Especially when the whole Tanya bitch fight had exploded on the front cover of the papers and Aro had been yet to discipline me for that misbehavior. My legs got shaky with each step I took to his office and the hallway seemed longer than normal.

_Bella you have nothing to worry about_, I tried to assure myself.

Quil and Embry were standing in front of the door like statues and I immediately felt pity for them. It have must been hard trying to stand that perfect for hours and not being able to do anything other than stare at the boring hallway except when naked girls flooded it. I assumed Aro was having a meeting today because of their presence.

I said a small prayer before opening the huge doors. I walked into the large office and found him standing by the right side of the office, looking out the window with a big brown cigar in his hand. I closed the door and stood there nervously, looking down at my black nails. I really never found comfort coming into his office except it was to talk about my salary or my mother. But this was different, the atmosphere was even different and the air smelled like trouble.

I stood there with my head down for what felt like hours when in reality it was just five minutes. I had no fucking clue what he was staring at outside the window. He didn't seem like the type that would be admiring the flowers, and since it was still January, there were no flowers because of the winter. The whole waiting was making me feel queasy and really fucking nervous.

"Isabella," he finally said, turning to face me with the cigar resting in between his lips.

"Aro." I moved my gaze slowly to meet his face.

His face was blank, emotionless. I couldn't get anything from his tone apart from neutrality. It was simple, no sign of anger. Maybe this meeting was not as bad as I expected but then again with Aro things were never the way they seemed. He always liked taking people by surprise.

"So." He continued his slow march as he walked towards his table. "I heard about the little fight over Cullen." He paused looking straight into my eyes, probably checking for signs of denial. "I thought you said you weren't attached?" he continued, staring at me like he hadn't seen me before.

I kept silent; I wasn't sure what to say. If I said we were attached, I wasn't sure how he'd react; and if I said we weren't, he'd know instantly that I was lying. He always knew when people lied to him. It was like some kind of sixth sense.

"You two seem pretty close, much more than just a regular and a prostitute." He leaned on the table, still not making any move to sit down. I was beginning to wonder if sitting down was some sort of significance. _Sit down asshole!_

"And if I didn't know better, I'd swear he has feelings for you. Like the feeling you get before you ask someone to marry you." His tone was so low that it caused fear to rise up inside me. "Now the question is…do _you_ have those same feelings for him?" A mischievous smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.

I swallowed loudly before answering him. "We aren't serious Aro. It's just a normal relationship, nothing more." I dragged my long sleeves over my hands which were accumulating pools of sweat already.

"You're lying Isabella. You have feelings for him." I stood my ground and sealed my lips. I wasn't going to speak until he gave me the chance to. "You two have been regular for three months and even that bastard, Alistair, who has been your customer for what? Ten months? Hasn't been able to get such a reaction from you." The slow beating around the bush scheme continued and for once I really didn't want him to get to the point.

"Now if I must say." His fingers trailed imaginary circles on the wooden desk. "Both of you are pretty serious and I don't like it." His voice became very daunting at the end. "I don't like when other men take my girls away from me." His eyes were still fixed on the table.

"He's not taking me away Aro-" He shushed me before I could complete my statement.

"No talking when I'm talking." His finger swung from left to right to show his disapproval. "Back to what I was saying, no man takes my girls away from me especially when they are special to this brothel. And Bella you are very special to _me._" I grimaced. "You're one of the most important girls who bring me money here. You're smart and your singing has increased the profit of this institution that I have established." His hands gestured to the room. "Now if you weren't that special I'd let you go but I can't. And I'm afraid that Mr. Cullen, too, won't be willing to share since he seems quite fond of you."

"He doesn't mind." My voice broke, betraying me.

"_I know that this is the choice you've chosen, just know that I'm here whenever you want me. Of course you being with other men upsets me and I wish you didn't have to do it. But I'll keep it in for now because it's better for me to have a piece of you than to have nothing at all." _

"Ah, no Isabella! No man can be that comfortable dating a woman who sleeps around with countless number of men. He might not mind now, but in the long run he will, trust me, I know these things. Soon he'll be barging through those doors demanding to pay whatever it cost to release you."

I didn't utter a word. I just stood there looking at him.

"And I can't wait for him to do that. We both know that you can only serve one master. You chose who that should be when you signed my contract. Now you have to let the other one go." He stood up and walked around the table to the other side.

"I'm not quite understanding," I lied. I knew what he was insinuating but I wanted to be sure. I still hoped that there was some way out of this.

"You have to let him go," he said, as he settled into his chair, finally. "You'll call it off. He doesn't mean anything to you so it shouldn't be so hard."

"But that's why I should keep him. I'll never fall for his stupid desires to be with me. I'll still be under you."

"Yes you will, but if you'll never fall why are you so willingly to keep him?" He dropped the cigar on the ashtray in front of him and rubbed his hands together. "I have decided, you'll break up with him and tell him to move his business elsewhere. If he so desires to fuck a woman, I'm sure there are other girls in this brothel who can fulfill his needs. Jessica seems to be taken by him, maybe he could try her." I ignored the knots that twisted in my stomach at the person he was suggesting. I didn't want any other woman with him; I only wanted him with me. He definitely shouldn't be with Jessica that would be an insult even to him.

I couldn't break up with him. He was my balance, without him my world was sure to crumble. I needed him.

Aro noticed my battle with my inner thoughts and spoke up. "You're not thinking about this sweets; you're doing as I say. All contacts with him must be stopped at once."

"But if he pays for me, you'll have more money with you. The brothel would become bigger and all those plans that you've been doing will be fulfilled."

I don't know what suddenly came over me, I suddenly started hoping that Aro would allow Edward pay for me after all he had made the offer, and if I asked him, he would do it. The realization of being trapped here for long made me feel really sick. The realization of being without Edward made me devastated.

"Yes but I wouldn't have you. He wants you and I have you." Aro liked this. He never noticed how special I was until now. And now that someone else was willingly to pay for me he wasn't going to allow it because winning was his game. "I have said it Isabella and I am not changing my mind. Tell me when it's done."

"Please," I pleaded.

I begged because Edward Cullen was worth it. I stripped my pride, for the first time in the amount of time I'd stayed here, and actually begged him.

"Please, I can't lose him now Aro, he's helping me to get through. I need you to understand." The tears were forcing their way out but I was trying my best to hold them back in. I even bent my head backwards just so they wouldn't spill.

"Isabella his family isn't in support of this."

"I know Emmett and Ro-"

"No Bella, his parents aren't in support of this. I know this wouldn't have changed my mind even if they were. But you need to know. Esme called the brothel, I spoke to her and our decision was unanimous. She doesn't want you to see her son, she made that very clear. Money was even included."

Well fuck! The news I was hearing made me pause all my thoughts. Esme offered money to keep me away from Edward? What the hell? I was beyond flabbergasted. I stood there with my mouth agape as I processed this new information.

"You of all people should know what it's like to keep a family together. You wouldn't want to break that now, would you?" Aro pulled the family card. "You should let him go," he said in a tone that made it seem like he was sympathizing with me and I knew that couldn't be possible.

I walked out of the office and went to my room feeling sad. Everyone had left and carried their gathering elsewhere when I returned, apart from Heidi and Angela. Heidi noticed my distress and came toward me.

"What did he say?" She sat on the bed beside me while Angela sat up on the bed.

"I have to break up with Edward," I said, tucking a pillow under my arm.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked, and I knew I had to put my protective wall back on.

I was torn up inside. I felt really sad and angry at the same time. I felt angry that Esme would offer money to the brothel for me to leave her son. I felt angry that I was going to do this to Edward. I felt livid at Aro. But most of all, I felt sad because I was going to lose Edward and the moment I had been dreading was finally here.

But my friends couldn't see that so I decided to put up my wall. "Yeah, I am." I shrugged. "Know how many ways I could break up with him? I would have used the phone but…it would mean I'm a coward. I think I have to do it face to face."

"You could take some time apart. Like maybe stop calling him frequently, it should be less heartbreaking that way," Angela said.

"He's a guy Angie, not a pussy. Guys don't do all that emotional crap we do." Heidi handed me a pack of cigarettes with a silver lighter.

"Yeah," I muttered, lighting the cig and taking a long slow drag.

I stared at the ceiling and fought the urge to have another fucking cigarette for the third time this night. I had started smoking excessively since the day I had that conversation with Aro. If Edward ever found out he'd never approve. Maybe I could add alcohol into the batch too. The whole room was so fucking hot and it was February. The cold outside couldn't even surpass the heat inside. Lauren whined that she might be having a fever, so Aro cranked up the heat.

Today was the day. I had to put on a brilliant performance today to convince the man who loved me that he meant nothing to me and I was no longer interested. The man who showed me more affection than anyone had ever done. I had to lie, that those mesmerizing eyes never captured me and left me breathless, or that I didn't long for his tender loving caresses and that he was just every normal guy that fucked me.

At this point, I even considered how it would have been if Jessica were in my shoes. After all, she could construct an amazing presentation built up on lies and everyone would believe her.

I kept telling myself that this was for the best, and that there was no way that I could ever be enough for him. I was a prostitute. I wasn't worthy of him and his mother had emphasized that point by offering money. Reducing and cheapening my status as a prostitute.

I needed to let go of him, he deserved that much. Besides, I'd always wanted a complete happy family but never had one, and he had, so why should I strip him of it? It was selfish of me to even think for a second that he should stay with me. I was making him choose between me and his family and he should never be forced to make that kind of decision.

In the evening, when I figured that he'd be back from work, I went to his house. Unfortunately, no one was home and I was met by the guard who informed me that Edward had gone to his parent's house. I didn't want to procrastinate and postpone this, so I decided to go there. What better way for Esme to confirm that I had ended it with her son?

_Present._

_Edward_.

My heart sank at the sight of him. He was dressed in a light blue dress shirt, which had its sleeves rolled up, and a pair of black pants, with his tousled hair standing array and chaotic. He was sitting in front of the dining table looking like a sex god. Was it possible that he could have grown more handsome in a month? The whole 'absence does make the heart grow fonder' shit was true.

"Bella," The sound of his voice sent shivers of delight down my spine. I wanted him to repeat my name over and over again. I quickly reminded myself of where I was. I didn't want to lose myself here and not achieve what I came here for.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion as he walked toward me. I could smell his sweet cologne as he came closer and his scent was driving me insane.

I shook my head from all the swimming fantasies of Edward and came down to earth. I was here on business and I really needed to focus. His sight couldn't be a distraction right now.

"I need to talk to you," I said in a firm tone.

"Oh, who's this pretty young lady?" An old woman who was sitting with the rest of the family spoke as I shifted my gaze to the dining table. "I didn't know Edward kept girlfriends."

"She's nobody." I heard Esme's voice respond.

Carlisle was sitting at the head of the table with a much goaded look on his face. Esme was by his side with a similar look on hers. On her left side was Rosalie with a chair in between her and Emmett. The old woman sat on the other side of Carlisle with Alice beside her. I didn't know if this could get more awkward than it already was.

"Nana, this is Bella." Edward tugged on my hand. "My girlfriend." His hundred watt smile spread across his lips. "Bella, this is Nana, my grandmother." He finished the introduction and a hiss sounded from Esme's side.

He wiped his mouth with a napkin and left the table abruptly. I gathered all the strength to stop my knees from buckling.

"I don't know who you are but I already like you. For you to bring out such a strong reaction from my son, I must say you're quite talented." Nana smiled genuinely, her fork bouncing on her right hand. "You should join us for dinner considering how kind Esme is, I'm sure she won't mind." She winked at Esme who seemed to be having steam blow out from her ears, metaphorically.

"Yes you should." Edward turned back to me, he seemed so…blissful.

"She would do no such thing!" Esme stood up and slapped the napkin on the table in annoyance.

"Wow! How rude! I thought things of that nature weren't allowed in this beautiful home? This could only get more interesting. Alice could you be a darling and check in the kitchen for some alcohol?" Nana asked and everyone turned to gaze at her in response. "What? I'm an old woman I can drink alcohol if I want to," she said as Alice rose up from her seat left the room.

"Edward I really need to talk to you, please?" I was already feeling very weak from everyone's reaction to the sight of me. Was I really that repulsive?

"So sweetheart, could you tell me what you've done that has got everyone so riled up this evening?" She smiled. "I've been sitting down here for the past fifteen minutes and no one has said a word."

"Ma'am-" I began but she cut me off with her hands as Alice came back with a bottle and poured a glass of bourbon for her.

"Hold up," she said and took a quick sip before speaking. "Child, please call me Nana. That's what everyone calls me and you should be no different even though you don't look like the type who hangs around this crowd given the clothes you're wearing." She gestured to my clothes and I looked at my outfit.

It was true though, but I made sure not to wear anything vulgar today especially since I thought of the possibility of coming here. I wore a pair of grey sweat pants and a thick navy blue sweater that covered my entire body. My hair was released from its ponytail and fell freely over my shoulders. I wanted to wear something very comfortable because today, I would need all the comfort I could get.

"Nana," I continued, but this time, Esme cut me off.

"She's a prostitute. She's got no business here," Esme continued her snide remarks, looking straight at me.

"Honey, I always thought you were a prostitute when you were dating my son. It's nothing new." Nana gave Esme a sarcastic smile and I suddenly started wondering what sort of relationship they had.

"It's not like that!" Esme snapped before she registered what Nana had said. "Wait, why would you think I was a prostitute?"

"Oh, come on Esme, don't act like such a saint with all those boys you were running around with." Nana took another sip while Esme rolled her eyes.

"This is totally different, she works at a brothel." Her tone was loud and sharp.

Silence fell on the room after Esme blurted out the almighty word that could cause a frigging tornado in a room like this. It was in that silence, I was able to notice what exactly the other people were doing. Tanya was probably still standing at the back of me. Esme was shooting me daggers that almost confirmed the whole "If looks could kill" theory. Alice had her head in her hands. Emmett was still staring at his food and Rosaliewas fidgeting with her napkin. Nana hadn't spoken a word since she heavily gulped down the alcohol in front of her.

"Well." She cleared her throat and placed the empty glass on the table. "That sure is some news," she continued while Edward sighed beside me. "Edward I'm really disappointed that you would allow yourself associate with someone who has that…kind of job," she said, facing Edward who was holding my hand tightly. "That's a very vile thing to engage in, not to mention unholy." She turned to look at me. Edward was running his fingers through mine. "And Esme why didn't you stop this before it got any further? You're the one always about perfection. How could it be that your so called heaven could allow such a tint?" Her head snapped back to Esme.

"I didn't know she was-" Esme's voice increased significantly.

"Oh, but I thought you always know everything about your family. Aren't you all about having the perfect American family?"

I couldn't stand there and listen to them bickering when I had a huge matter to deal with, so I dragged Edward and led him to the hallway.

"What's the matter, Bella?" his forehead creased deeper with concern and worry as he ran his fingers over my cheek.

"Nothing Edward, see…" I took a deep breath, I had rehearsed this over and over again and now I wasn't sure I could go through with it. "I can't do this with you anymore." I removed my face from his hands.

"You can't do what anymore?" His face contorted in confusion.

"This…" I gestured to the space between us. "I can't do us anymore." I looked away from him and stared out the window, my chest was drumming rapidly and I really had to pull it together.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" His voice seemed to be growing louder.

"Edward, I'm tired of this. I don't want this relationship anymore." I took a few more deep breaths and ran my hands through my hair before turning to him. "You're having deep feelings for me and I don't feel the same way about you." I tried my best to maintain a steady voice but my resolve was hanging on a thread.

Different emotions flitted across his face, confusion, disappointment, anger and then finally settled on sadness. "I can't keep wasting my time with you. I have a lot of other things to do and _us _isn't one of them." I continued. I needed him to understand.

"Are you saying that all those times we spent together… meant nothing to you?" he asked as his beautiful green eyes burned into mine with anguish.

"Yes," I said firmly in a harsh tone. I tried to look away but I knew it wouldn't help the situation so I just stood there watching him absorb every detail in pain. In that moment, my hatred grew and spread through my body. I despised Aro, I hated his family. I hated my job. But most of all I hated the pain that I was inflicting on him.

"You're lying," he barked back in infuriation and I flinched away from him. "They meant something to you and you know it!" e threw his hands in the air in exasperation, his body started quivering.

"I'm a prostitute! A fucking prostitute! I fuck men for money! I don't have feelings for them whatsoever. To me, it's all about the sex and the money. Of course, I make you believe what I want you to believe. After all, it's all about your pleasure, and to me it's completely about my job." I raised my voice slightly higher as the anger I felt for myself crept up an increasing rate.

_Just believe me please and leave me alone. It's for your own good! _I cried inside as I tried to keep composure.

He stood there silent, as if he was digesting and processing everything I had just said to him. The empty look on his face created an ache in my chest. I was stabbing him and now I was turning the knife in his heart. I felt an antipathy for myself as I watched him. His eyes seemed watery but I couldn't really tell.

"If they made you do this, if Aro threatened you in anyway…you don't have to listen to him Bella, he doesn't own you. Let me-"

"No Edward!" I said icily. I had to stop him before he filled my head with all these promises that we both knew could never be fulfilled. "Aro didn't put me up to this I wanted it for myself. Your mother's right. You shouldn't waste your precious time on penniless whores." My body was growing weaker and weaker and this conversation was going to send me to the verge of unconsciousness very soon if I didn't get the hell out of there.

"Bella, you cannot mean this." He closed the distance between us and pressed his body on mine, which pushed me farther to the wall. His breath tickled my neck as he continued to stare at me. His eyes looked agonizing as they impaled into mine. "I'm in love with you," he whispered into my nape and I fought every will power that wanted to spring tears from my eyes. "Don't do this," he said, completely desolate.

"_I love you," Charlie said and he left after that._

"_I love you," Phil said, bruised me and ran away._

"_I love you," Mike said and took off._

Now Edward was saying it in a different way and probably in a different meaning, but I was the one who was running away. I was the one hurting him. The one who wouldn't say it back. And the one who was still breaking up with him after he said it. I felt really sick. I was such a hypocrite.

"_There is no love in this business, Swan. You must never involve yourself with a customer in that kind of way. Once you know it's getting to that stage you must withdraw yourself," Aro said decisively as he put the papers in front of me to sign. "Love doesn't exist in a prostitute's mind; remember that like it's the key to your life."_

"Well, I don't love you." My throat tightened as my body began molding into his. The close proximity between us was causing butterflies in my stomach.

"I don't believe you." His voice broke. "Kiss me." He commanded.

"I can't do that." I shook my head vehemently.

"Why?" He shook my shoulders in rage as if he were trying to shake the look out of my face.

"Because it will only be harder for you." _And harder for me as well,_ I finished mentally. "It won't change my mind."

Before I could form any logical thought, his lips were on mine, demanding and aggressive as he forced his tongue through to glide with mine. It took a huge amount of self control to keep focused or else the whole charade was going to collapse. As his mouth claimed mine, I tried to convince myself that having this one last kiss wouldn't kill me. Wasn't I allowed to share a goodby kiss before we parted ways? _Focus Bella, focus! _He leaned further into me to deepen the kiss as his legs separated mine, pushing me further into the wall.

I wanted to struggle but I couldn't and I could feel the vulnerability in me pushing upwards, struggling its way to free itself and make me give in and lose myself. If I didn't stop, this might have escalated into something that would make the whole separation more difficult. I pushed against him with all my power but it was futile, instead he pressed into me deeper. Finally, I hit his groin and he fell back and staggered to the floor.

"Like I said, it will only be harder for you. I feel nothing." I lied; my stomach churned as I took in his pained expression. I couldn't take it anymore, I turned to the door to leave.

My hand was resting on the knob about to twist it when I heard his voice. "Bella…" he called my name in such a tone that almost broke me into pieces right there. "Don't make me beg you…" I closed my eyes. "I'll do what it takes just _please _don't walk out that door. Don't let us...fade," he finished in a faint voice.

"We would always fade if we are together." And with that I shut the door and walked away from him.

I took off the offending clothes off my body, I really thought this shit would comfort me instead it made me feel suffocated. I ran the shower while dumping the clothes into the basket. I was feeling nauseated and I had already puked all the contents in my stomach. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and what I saw was revolting.

I put my hand under the running tap and took a palm full of water to wash my face and whatever expression that was on it.

"_What is your name?" he asked as I stopped my hands on the door._

"_Isabella Swan, but you can call me, Bella" I answered and waited for him to tell me his but he didn't so I asked. "What's yours?"_

"_I'm Edward Cullen, but please call me Mr. Cullen," he said austerely as I felt the blood rush out of my face and winced at the formality of his name._

I tried to wash all the memories that were imprinted into my memory as I continued splashing the hot water on my face.

"_As I clearly remember, you're not my father, nor my husband so I really don't see how it's any of your fucking business!" I snapped in irritation, still trying to struggle my way out of his hold._

"_True but you belong to me! I own you. I pay a fucking fortune on you!"he snapped right back._

The tears rolled off my cheeks and my head started pounding really hard.

"_I'll never leave you, why can't you see and trust me?"He looked deeply into my eyes and I couldn't help the blush that colored my face._

I entered the shower and let the hot water rinse my tear-streaked face. The hot water poured from head to toe, attempting to soothe my nerves. But all I could remember was when he was in the shower with me, how his hands took care of me.

"_You're the only thing that matters to me. I really don't care about other people's opinions." His voice echoed in my thoughts. "I'll always put you first, you know that right?" _

I gently lathered the shampoo in my hands before running it through my hair. My legs were weak and struggling to keep me balanced in the shower.

"_I want to be the only thing you're addicted to." He smiled and I thought that was the corniest shit I had ever heard but he always had a way with stuffs like that, making them sound sexier than Collin Farrell._

I scrubbed my body, washing off his scent, his touch, his feel, everything.

"_You know, you could be my girlfriend and I wouldn't mind." He gripped my waist and pivoted me to face him._

"_Edward Cullen, that's a pretty shitty way to ask a girl to be your girlfriend!"I said and I couldn't help but smile at his pathetic attempt. _

I got out of the shower and wore my big sweater over my head, which reminded me off his shirts I used to wear. I sat closed to the window, staring at absolutely nothing.

"_Bella, you cannot mean this." e closed the distance between us. "I'm in love with you."_

"_Don't make me beg you…I'll do what it takes just please don't walk out that door."_

I could still remember his pained appearance, the frown on his face, the tautness of his jaw, the way his body shaked and how he had stuttered his words when I told him. I lost the one thing that made me completely happy.

I felt like so hurt. Why was it so hard to let him go? And it was then I knew…

HEIDI'S POV

I opened my room door and found Bella sitting on the floor beside the window, bawling her fucking eyes out.

"I love him," she cried hysterically. "I didn't know before, I wasn't sure what to place my feelings as, I couldn't say it before but I do. I love him." She raked her hair and held a bundle of it in between her hand. "I love him," she said again, a sad laughter erupted from her. "I love him," she chanted like as if she was trying to relieve whatever pain that she felt. "I. Love. Him" she stated it like a fact. It was fucking obvious, how could she not know? "I love him." The tears flowed down her cheeks, her hands furiously squeezing the thick sweater that clung to her body.

I stood there in trepidation, watching her fall apart and cling on to the wall, crying and laughing in misery.

"I love him," she whispered. "And I never got to say it. When he said it to me, I couldn't say it back. And here I am pouring it like rain from the fucking sky and he's not here. Heidi, he can't hear me." I took small steps toward her, not entirely sure how to comfort her. I had never seen her breakdown before. Guys were never really that important to her and now the first man she had fallen in love with, she had to break up with. "He can't hear me! I fucking say the words now and he can't hear me! What's the fucking use?" she screamed. All the sadness flashed on her face as she continued to wail.

"You've always loved him." I was finally able to speak as I squatted next to her. "And he loves you, too."

"He hates me, I hurt him. He'll never understand." She sobbed.

"He'll know this is for the best. You're trying to make him happy." I smoothed the hair on her forehead hoping she'd take comfort from the contact. "The pain will go and it will become easier."

"He's everywhere. He's on my skin. He's in my head. Permanently on my lips, and has been fucking tattooed on my heart. How would I ever get him out? I had a bath twice today and he's still here! He's still fucking here!" Her sobs came out loudly and I wrapped her into an embrace and rocked her gently. "Tell me I don't need him. Tell me he means nothing to me," she begged.

"Oh Bella." I felt torn as I continued to rock her.

"Why does it hurt so much? If this is so fucking right, why do I feel this way?"

I wasn't sure what to answer so I kept quiet and continued to rob her gently.

"I want it to go away, I want it erased from my memory, all of it! It's just too much for me." Her voice cracked.

* * *

Ok, this was a pretty long chapter but I just thought I should reward you with it. Plus I wanted to completely finish BPOV.

You have to understand that this is a serious issue; the Nana definitely wasn't just going to accept it like that especially when she doesn't know much about the situation.

Also, just because she had some sort of breakdown in front of Heidi doesn't mean it will continue, Bella will still protect her feelings.

So this was pretty sad. Anyway, let me know what you think.


	14. You lit the fire that I burn in

**Thank you all so much for your reviews for last chapter they made my heart flutter and my legs dance. Hehehehe…Ok, straight on to business here**

**Song for this Chappie – Hide and Seek (Imogen Heap)**

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YOU LIT THE FIRE THAT I BURN IN

I laid on the cold ass tiled floor holding my throbbing manhood waiting for the bitch ass pain to subside. My head began floating in thoughts of what just happened.

She left.

She just walked away and left. After I confessed my feelings to her, she hit me in the groin and left. I won't lie; the kick hurt like a fucking bitch. It was so hard to believe that she had just broken up with me. It was one of those moments when you dream of something but never expect it to happen. I knew she was going to leave at some point. My mind had always kind of told me that but I just never just expected it to happen. I usually locked all those kind of feelings away in a concealed box in which my forbidden thoughts were stored like when you hide your porn stash under your bed so people won't think you're such a pervert. But I never really had forbidden thoughts until I met her. The fact that this nightmare had become a reality left me in utter shock and confusion.

_Damn it! I loved her and she left me._

Didn't she think love was enough? Her face was so cold and impassive as she told me she didn't have real feelings for me, that everything she did was all an act. I didn't even know what to think anymore. Was she really just using me? Had she gotten the money she needed for whatever cause and just regarded me worthless? All those stories about her past, were they just lies? I wasn't sure where all these thoughts were coming from, all these doubts, they were all unsure. But I knew one thing was for sure. Even if she used me, even if she betrayed me or lied to me, even if she took my heart and stomped on it, I will always love her. Whatever crimes she committed, I would still love her. If she needed my help, I'll still be there. I'll always be there for her until she was ready to accept me. Because the love I felt for her was unconditional. But what if she was forced to do this? What if Aro found out that she had feelings for me and he took that as a threat? What sort of feelings could she even have for me? Love? I'm allowed to dream that she could somehow love me? No she couldn't. Could she?

My head was spinning as these thoughts drowned me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't even notice people shuffled to the side of the hallway until I saw Alice in my periphery looking very gloomy.

"Edward honey, are you okay?" I heard my mother's voice call me as she placed her two hands on my shoulders in an attempt to wake me up from my revelry.

As soon as her hands made contact with my body, I involuntarily recoiled away from her touch. "Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." My voice shouted. I was infuriated with my mum but I didn't expect such a reaction out of me. The worst part was that I knew what I was doing, I knew it was hurting her from the aghast that crumpled on her face but I couldn't do anything about it. My brain was telling me to apologize to her that she was still my mother but everything else in my body disagreed with that fact. My hands were turning to balls of fist and a headache suddenly started to break through.

"Honey, what's…the…matter?" she stuttered and took two steps backward.

I was actually grateful that she was moving away from me because the lord knows that if she was anywhere close to me, I would have damaged her skinny little face.

"Oh please mother save your bloody sanctimonious bullshit for a fool who's stupid enough to believe you!" I continued, standing up briskly. My body was feeling freakishly hot and it seemed like the temperature of the room was increasing rapidly. The headache was getting worse. The need to break or damage something, the need to tear somebody suddenly poured over me. The whole anger building inside me was soon about to explode if I didn't control it or get the hell out of there.

"Dear, I know this is hard for you to handle but you must know that she did it for the best," she said, my siblings were standing at the back of her probably ensuring safety.

_Why the fuck was she still blabbing?_

"Mom," I breathed, hoping the air passing through my lungs would somehow wash away this feeling. "With all due respect," my burning green eyes stung right into hers. "Shut the fuck up!" I spat vituperatively.

Esme held the necklace resting on her neck as she stared at me with a befuddled expression. I always tried my best to give her the respect she deserved more than Carlisle. I could be rude to Carlisle but I couldn't be that way to her. I felt she was my mother and everything she did was for my own concern, after all she held me for nine fucking months, the least I could do was respect her. But today, I wasn't going to spare her. There was no respect today. Today she wasn't my mother, she was totally someone else. Mothers are supposed to listen to you and tell you their opinions but when you're old enough to make yours, they allow you choose. She denied me that right when she made Emmett hire Chelsea. Who knew what else she had done. I needed to set a boundary for her, so she would know when to stop butting in my fucking affairs.

The whole room was quiet as I readjusted myself and I thanked the angels for not making my family utter a word because if they did, one of them would need an ambulance.

"I can't deal with this shit right now," I reached for my car keys in my pocket and left them, banging the door louder than necessary.

I needed to calm my nerves and I was still feeling really hot which was very abnormal considering it was less than fifteen degrees Celsius outside. I got into the Volvo and began to drive around aimlessly. I needed to feel air so I decided to drive faster, hoping that the speed would help me get away from the trouble I felt. As the speedometer started to levitate to 140mph, I opened the windows of the car, letting the cold misty breeze capture me and cool me off. My breathing became heavy and my escape to some kind of paradise was halted when a police car started following me with that fucking loud siren.

At first, I wanted to take this as a challenge and get chased by the cops but then I wasn't so sure if I wanted to spend the night in jail. I would probably spend a long time there considering the next thing I'd do is kill my cell mate. So I stopped and parked the car at the side of the road.

"Sir, I will have to give you a speeding ticket," the officer said as he tore something and handed it to me. My left index finger was resting in between my mouth hoping to stop anything malicious coming out from insulting the man.

After he issued the ticket, which I didn't look to check how much I had to pay since it was irrelevant as of now, I decided to drive back to my house. Speeding didn't help so maybe drinking might.

I walked into the kitchen and dropped the keys on the counter before heading to the bar section of the house. I opened the cupboard and gently scanned the bottles of alcohol that were sitting comfortably in it. The bottles were arranged in the context of how much alcohol they had. The drinks with fairly low amount of alcohol were in front while the ones that had a high amount were at the back. I removed a bottle and threw it at the back of me. The sound of the impact the bottle made with the black kitchen tiled floor made me feel liberated. It gave off such a free feeling that I decided to throw another one with an extra amount of force and then the throwing spree continued. When I had broken up to eight or more bottles, I decided to look for what I was looking for before the madness set in.

Liquor clouded the whole floor and started running to the sides of the kitchen, staining whatever was on the floor. I opened a bottle of Hennessey and greedily gulped down the drink, the liquid burning my throat before settling in my body. It made me feel a little relaxed and I decided to take another bottle of another brand before sitting down on the pool of alcohol enveloping the floor.

After a while, the doorbell rang. I considered that it wasn't important to get it, if it was Alice or Emmett, they would have a key. So I sat there watching the clock bounce from left to right in a blur. The doorbell finally stopped ringing and I assumed that either the person got the hint that I wasn't at home or the drink made me stop hearing things.

"Jesus Christ Edward!" Alice's tiny voice squeaked as her and Tanya appeared in front of me.

"Edward, what did you do? Are you hurt?" Tanya rushed to my side, carefully avoiding areas where the broken bottle had splattered to. "Are you ok?"

What the hell was it and everyone asking me if I was okay? Did it fucking look like I was okay? Weren't they there when the shit happened? Did they fucking expect me to be okay?

"Don't fucking ask me stupid questions!" I said callously.

There was no point to be nice anymore, no point to be careful.

"I'm going to get a mop or rag or something and call Jasper or Emmett," Alice said before she left the kitchen.

"Edward what you're doing is not helping anyone," Tanya said softly.

_Wait…hold up…what the fuck?_

"What makes you think I care about anyone?" I turned to her, the bottle swinging contentedly in my right hand. Besides Bella didn't break up with them, she broke up with me.

"Look, I know how you feel," she continued, sitting beside me on the floor. "I have been here before."

"So you've been in my kitchen drinking alcohol sitting on the floor?" I asked, laughing at how stupid I was getting.

"No," she sighed. "But I have been in this situation…where you love someone and the person doesn't love you back." Her blue eyes glistened with sadness and something else…pity? "I have felt that scary feeling before; I know what you're going through,"

She pushed back my hair from sweeping into my eyes and I relished the contact of her soft hands. Her blonde hair deluged over her elegant shoulders, they weren't really enticing, and they weren't captivating and intriguing as the brown hair that slapped my face whenever I slept close to my heart. My heart, my Bella, I shoved the thought away as quickly as it came and continued scrutinizing how different Tanya was from the woman in my heart.

I looked into her eyes and immediately regretted that they weren't the dark mysterious chocolate pool eyes that always made my heart flutter. These were really blue and bright, shiny almost. They looked cold, not comforting and warm like the familiar brown ones, I knew. I wanted to feel how cold they were, I wanted to be as cold as they were. I wanted to drown in them and freeze. It was at this moment I knew I had lost it; I wanted to be cold as Tanya's blue eyes, like seriously. I started laughing at my stupidity, taking another gulp to demolish the aches I felt as I laughed harder.

She sat there puzzled and tried to snatch the bottle away from my hands, the close proximity of her body with mine gave me a fuzzy feeling. Her hands brushed past my arms and she stopped her movements. Her lips were just inches away from mine and I could feel her breath on my face. She instinctively licked her lips and I moved to them, drawn like as if I was a magnet, and placed mine over them. Her tongue licked my upper lip and I opened my mouth as she took control of the kiss. Her tongue was warm and it tasted like wine, it caressed mine gently, playing with it and encompassing it fully. Her hands drove to my neck to play with the hairs on it.

Flashes of Bella came to my mind, how soft her lips were and how her tongue tasted like mints and cigarettes. How her hands used to run through my hair and drag it letting me know she had control of me. How my body would instantly react to hers, growing as hard as ever. How our bodies fit like a perfect puzzle.

But this was different; Tanya's tongue didn't have the mint-cigarette taste. Her hands were soft but they didn't really intrigue me much. Of course I was getting hard but I wasn't sure if that was from the images of Bella I had in my mind or what Tanya was doing. She controlled the kiss but I didn't want her to, I only wanted Bella to do that. I couldn't even remember how I felt when I kissed her before I met Bella. I couldn't remember what any other kiss felt like before Bella.

I tried to deepen the kiss to make me forget her but I just kept seeing her smile and the way her body melted into my arms. I rushed the pace when my mind remembered when she'd tease me and laugh at my bemused expressions. I let my hands roam across Tanya's body when I recalled how Bella would run away from me and make me chase her. My hands glided down her thighs but all I could think of was my darling's creamy thighs that always called me.

"_Edward, look at me," she giggled when she noticed me ogling paradise. Her shorts had shifted up a little bit and I couldn't help the thing that caught my throat when her fingers had danced on them. "No Edward, up here," she pointed to her face which was lit up into a charming smile._

Oh what I wouldn't give to have her body under me right now, to have me capture her lips, to make her scream my name. I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized that no matter how long I kiss Tanya, she wasn't magically going to turn to Bella. She wasn't going to help me take the pain I felt away. No matter how hard I tried to channel the love and anger I felt for Bella to her, it wouldn't just work.

"What's the matter?" She stopped and licked her lips absentmindedly.

_You're not the woman I love, you're not Bella. That's what's wrong._

"Nothing, I just don't feel like it." I said, trying to stand up.

"Edward be careful, there's broken glass everywhere," she tried to assist me and keep me in balance.

I laughed bitterly, taking another swig before replying her. "You think…" I garbled. The alcohol was beginning to take full effect. "You think that I am worried about getting a little pain in my leg when I have an enormous pain in my heart?" I continued laughing. "You're wrong, if you had cancer would you be worried about a broken leg? I think not!" I swayed and almost fell before landing on the kitchen counter. She rushed to my side to help me up. "I don't need your help or anyone's for that matter." I said and continued my quest to make it out of the kitchen.

I checked my pockets for my wallet and wore my shoes before heading out of the house. I got to the road and stopped a cab.

"Where to sir?" the guy asked from the driver's seat as I entered and shut the door behind me.

_To where my heart is._ "Volterra," I answered vaguely.

_I am coming to see you Bella_, _come out come out wherever you are_, I laughed to myself while the taxi driver gazed at me.

ALICE

"Would you get your ass over here right now!" I shouted over the phone, as the hot tears clouded my vision.

"I'm coming Alice, I can't go any faster, I'm on my way already," Emmett's voice boomed from the other end of the line.

I couldn't take it. I was so scared. Edward had hardly ever broken down like this before. Actually he had never broken down before as I can clearly recall. He always got everything he wanted. When he wanted to study business and finance, father objected but he still went ahead with it and at the end, dad accepted it. Why couldn't my parents just accept this now? I know Bella being a prostitute was a despicable thing but she was a nice girl. I couldn't even think about her right now. I was angry with her. How could she do such a thing? Didn't she know how much she affected Edward? He stood by her when everyone was against him, couldn't she at least do the same for him? Didn't she love him just as much as he loved her? The more I thought about her, the more the fire in me grew. Why was everything becoming so fucked up?

When we came to see him in the hallway, he looked so deadly. He looked like he wanted to kill someone. He had never had that kind of look before and I was kind of afraid for my mother when she approached him. The way he stared at her was full of so much hatred. I knew he didn't hate her but at that moment I questioned myself. Why couldn't she just let him be? Didn't she know her child? I knew Edward and that's why I tried to keep my distance then. I badly wanted to comfort him but I wasn't sure if he also blamed me for this mess.

"Go after him Tanya," mother had said as he fled out of the house.

"I'll go with her too," I said, walking to the dining room to look for my keys.

"Esme, what makes you think its Tanya he needs right now? If his girlfriend just broke up with him, you think he would need another woman to complicate his matters?" I heard Nana's voice ask quietly. She seemed shocked about what just happened.

"He needs a woman who can be his other half. Bella wasn't even half, she was a quarter. If he can't settle with the one he loves, he'll settle with the one who loves him and in time he'll in turn love her." Esme said as she entered back into the dining room to clear the dishes.

"Esme you cannot force someone to love a person. Love comes freely; I thought you would know that. You're slowly destroying your son. I am not happy that she is a prostitute but did you see his face when she broke up with him? Did you see how hurt he was? Though she seemed stern but I could feel how close she was to him. Did you even notice how they kept holding each other when they first came in? I know he is your son and I'm not trying to tell you what to do but maybe you should listen to his heart," Nana said calmly, following her into the dining room. It was one of the first times she had actually spoken to Esme with respect and it was bewildering.

"I am doing what's best for my son! Don't you dare tell me what to do! This is my house, I brought him up. I know what he needs and in the long run he'll thank me for it. You don't see me telling you what to do with Carlisle, Marcus and Caius. They are your children and you know what you do with them."

"This is how you always are, always making decisions for everybody. You never listen; you're just too blinded by how perfect you want to be. You're not perfect,"

"She's a prostitute. You're a strong catholic aren't you supposed to find that repulsive and unforgiving?"

"That's where you're wrong. Yes I am a catholic and yes what she does is a decadent thing to do but we don't know why she does it. Have you no heart? She is still the same with each and every one of us here. She is a human and forgiveness is divine. God will still open his doors for her and forgive her and if he can do so, so can I."

"I cannot accept her and that's final! I made my children what they are today and someone who has not worked for anything in her life but for pleasures won't just walk in here and feed off them. I toiled and suffered, she cannot reap where she did not sew!" She packed all the plates in one bundle and left to the kitchen.

I found my keys and Tanya and I scurried out of the house. I was glad that I didn't still stay at that house, there was no way I could deal with those two fighting under my roof. When we arrived at the house, we didn't see his car in the garage. Panic began to take over my body as my head had jumbled thoughts of where he could possibly be. I drove around in search for him but didn't see him. I drove by the brothel for some reason, wondering if he came to see Bella but didn't see his car in sight. We finally returned home and found out he was at home. Tanya insisted we ring the door bell first to alert him that we were here. When he didn't answer, we opened the door and looked for him before finding him in the kitchen.

He looked like a lost child who ran away from home. He looked so…broken and miserable. Alcohol and pieces of broken glass flooded the floor. I felt a tug in my chest as I took in his appearance; he had never looked like this before. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take it and I know he didn't need me breaking down in front of him so I made an excuse and rushed to the bathroom.

"Alice calm down, I'll be there soon. I am just pulling to the corner of your street. Go and sit with him and make sure he's okay," My big brother comforted me before he dropped the phone.

I walked into the kitchen; Tanya was mopping the floor and picking up the broken pieces when I got there. I looked frantically around for Edward but couldn't find him.

"Where's he?" My voice croaked.

"I don't know. He just stood up and left." She replied, the back of her body facing me.

"What do you mean he left?" I shouted. "How could you let him leave? Don't you know what kind of state he's in?" I poured my livid questions on her.

"Look I don't know, Okay!" She shouted back and it was in that moment I realized she was crying.

"Where's he?" Emmett barged into the room with Rosalie following behind.

"I don't know ask this idiot here, she misplaced him." I huffed and went to my phone to text Jasper.

_Baby come, I need you. _

I hit send and turned my attention to them. Emmett was running his hands through his hair muttering some curses under his breath, Tanya was crying while Rosalie just stood there looking perplexed.

"I leave him with you one minute and you can't handle it!" I stood up and helped in cleaning the kitchen. "What do we do now?" I turned to Emmett.

"We wait," Emmett sighed, "I'm going to check if he took his car, cause if he did. We might be in for some serious shit." I nodded and he went to the back.

I hated being a coward. I hated that I had let it get this far. I was so scared that I'd stayed away from the both of them when everyone was saying they weren't right together. I felt horrible for not talking to Bella but I couldn't. I supported them but I didn't want to be in the middle and against my family so I decided to keep my distance. He had changed greatly and it was all because of her. _Please keep my brother safe, please_.

Edward

Gianna gestured me to one of the rooms along the hallway. It was dressed in grey drapes and a black velvet carpet in the center. Black chairs with red upholstered cushions scattered on them. Four lamps were stationed at the corners of the room illuminating a dull lighting that could hardly be used for reading. But then it was a brothel not a library, they probably needed the light only to see the men they were going to sleep with. The room had a dull sleeping effect; the only bright colors were from the red cushions. A big black loveseat was at the left corner with a huge door at the other end of the room which was probably leading to another room. I didn't have that energy to explore so I sat in one of the chairs and continued to drink. The bottle was almost half empty at this rate and I frowned at the fact that I didn't remember to carry another one along with me.

Someone was about to open the door and my mind immediately thought it was Bella so I stood up and walked closer. Disappointment didn't even cover it when I saw Heidi's face turn to look at me.

"Hello Edward," she said, trying to sound cheerful but instantaneously dropped it when she took in my appearance. I guessed my drunken state was less appealing than I thought.

"Heidi," I nudged the bottle toward her in greeting.

"Bella is busy, she can't come…she has a customer." She said uncomfortably, rubbing her arms from whatever chills she was getting. It wasn't cold; I was still feeling hot so I couldn't understand her sudden shivers.

"I'll wait…" I slurred, floundering my way to the chair beside the wall which seemed to be moving away from me through my blurry vision. After a few failed attempts of sitting down on it, my ass finally made contact with the leather puff.

"Edward, you need to go home, you have no business here. She doesn't want you here," She said, her face filled with worry at either the fact I had forgotten how to sit on a chair and was going to slip and fall, or how the hell she was going to remove me from here.

"Well I'm not leaving here until I see her so better go and fucking tell her," I threw another gulp of alcohol in my throat, relishing the burn that soared through it. She stood for a few moments, watching me before getting inside the building.

After an hour or two, she came back with the same excuse and made a deal that if I went home and came back tomorrow I would be able to see her. I wasn't buying that crap and she noticed so she tried another card by telling me that Bella could get in trouble with Aro if I didn't leave considering he was going to be back from wherever he went to in twenty minutes.

As much as I would have loved to see her, I couldn't get her in trouble so I decided to leave. My body was slowly succumbing to the alcohol and my senses were beginning to fade, falling into unconsciousness seemed very inviting but I couldn't do that here. Who knows what could happen? So I took a cab home and made a mental note to check in tomorrow.

When I got home, my siblings with T, Rose and Jazz were sitting in the living room. The television was on and that 70's show was playing, everyone was gazing at the screen but no one seemed to be watching it. Alice was sprawled on Jasper's lap, looking devastated and worrisome while Jazz ran his hands through her hair. Rosalie placed her head on Em's chest; he was holding the remote with a beer in his other hand. And T was squeezing herself on one of the couches. They all looked so…worried.

"I'm back and I'll be in my room." I said then passed by to the stairs, my legs became really heavy for me to carry.

As soon as I got to the room, I didn't hesitate to look at the huge bed dressed in sea blue sheets; I just dove in and sank in the bed. They were clean and the pungent smell of detergent filled my nose and I let it drown me as my heavy eyelids closed.

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Yeah so that's what you've all been waiting for since the last time I updated.

Sorry I took long by the way. Next chapter BPOV and a very pissed off Edward (I think).

Reading is to you as Reviews are to me…lol


	15. My happy place is with you

**Disclaimer: (I Always forget to do this) Twilight doesn't belong to me. However, the drunken girls singing thing belong to my friends who really killed me yesterday with their own version of Crimson & Clover.**

**For you all, a/n at the end.**

**Song for this Chapter – I owe you a love song (Shiny Toy Guns)**, lyrics kinda make sense.

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MY HAPPY PLACE IS WITH YOU

"_But_ _I don't know how to leave you and I'll never let you fall. And I don't know how you do it, making love out of nothing at all,_" Jessica, Irina and Cheryl's drunken voices reverberated around the room, breaking and killing everything in sight including deafening my fucking ears. If Air Supply had the slightest clue how they had totally butchered the song, they would have sued them. The three of them were holding bottles of beer, each one singing into it like as if it were an actual microphone. They were making my ears bleed and I was sure there was no way I was ever going to listen to that song without having such a horrid memory of the way they sang it. In a way it was kind of comforting considering the fact that it took my mind off Him and made me concentrate on how to create the perfect murder with these drunken fuckwits.

"Hah! In your motherfucking face!" Lauren shouted with so much victory as she dropped her cards and danced around Heidi. "Can't read my, can't read my, no she can't read my poker face. My p-p-p-poker face," Lauren sang in front of Heidi while doing some sort of Carlton dance around her. _Great! Just what I need bitches singing and giving me a fucking headache_, I thought sarcastically.

Heidi rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah you win this round, 5:3. Let's go one more round, how about $200 this time?" her eyebrows knitted calculatingly.

"That's so unfuckingfair!" Lauren huffed and sat down back at the table. "It has to be a new round, because you're already winning," she continued her whining.

I decided to shut down and take my mind off what was happening around me. These days I had been involving myself in a lot of work, like helping Collin with the kitchen, helping Victoria in taking care of the whorehouse when Aro wasn't around. I'd practically done anything that would avoid me being alone with my thoughts inside my head because it always went back to Him.

Him – he's nameless now. I can't even think of his name. I tried to make him not exist in my head but the memories always came back to awaken me and let me know that indeed I couldn't have him. It always hurt whenever I thought of Him. It was funny how ironic the whole situation had become taken into account that thoughts of him used to make me feel comfort, now they were just hurtful.

It had been three and a half weeks since our official split, three and a half lovely weeks of burning in hell. The first week, he called frequently, sent dozens of texts that I deleted straight up as soon as I saw it was from him. Although the stupid Iphone he got me made me have a glimpse before deleting because of the way everything was set up in the fucking phone. I decided to change my sim but it didn't stop there; he also visited the brothel. He visited the brothel every single fucking night of the whole three and a half weeks looking for me. Each time Gianna had a message saying he was here, the cut got deeper and deeper and so did my account. Heidi and I had to bribe her not to say anything to Aro given the fact that she was supposed to report if he came over to look for me. So every time I paid for his visit without even seeing him. I wasn't sure which was worse, the fact that I was paying for it, or the fact that I didn't get to see him.

It was in my best interests that I didn't see him. I wasn't sure if I could stand seeing him. Heidi had explained how bad he was when he first came over and she told me that it got increasingly worse each time he came after the next. I knew that I had to see him the next time he came because this whole shit was getting old. First of all, Gianna couldn't be making her living off of me when I was trying to stable myself. Secondly, Aro was going to find out soon.

So when he came in today, I was going to see him finally. I knew it was inevitable but I pleaded with the clock not to hit 10:00pm because that was around the time he usually came. The stupid thing betrayed me to my fucking face by reading 9:45pm, just fifteen minutes till I got to see prince charming before turning into a fucking pumpkin.

I also had bigger fish to fry. My mother was getting discharged soon. The doctor had called me earlier this week to make sure I was ready to take her. I knew what he meant when he said _"You have to prepare for her coming, make sure there's nothing at home that could possibly give her a heart attack."_ Because we all know her hearing I'm a prostitute was definitely going to get her a death bed. I felt guilty a little bit for thinking and hoping he had some more tests and CT's to do. I had been waiting for the day she'd get treated and discharged and now it didn't seem as inviting as it used to.

_Stop thinking that way; you just tried your best to make sure she got well_.

There was no way she was going to understand that anyways. What mother wants to hear their daughter is a prostitute? I knew she was going to find out sooner or later after the papers carried out my fighting techniques as front page. She was definitely going to know.

_God, can't I just like run to another country or something? Escape to Canada maybe and have a fresh start?_

Running wasn't going to be a great solution but it looked perfect right now, running away from Forks, Aro, Renee and Him. How did my life become more shitassfucked than it used to? I ran my hands through my scattered hair.

"Hey B, sure you don't wanna play some poker?" Heidi's voice distracted me as I looked at her. I hated appearing vulnerable but Heidi had seen so much of my breakdown that even when I thought I wasn't giving the _I'm not ok_ look, she'd always ask and ensure I was having fun.

"Nah, I'm fine," I replied.

I regretted the night I cried like a fucking child in her arms, that was a pretty weak spot for me and she saw it. And then she became so bothered about me, always checking up on me, caring for me and all that stuff. I didn't like it; it was like she took me as her responsibility. I didn't want her to feel obligated to do stuff for me even if she wanted to. I didn't want to be a burden to her. I never had a sibling so the whole sister act was a bit strange for me. I always cared for people not really the other way round, well apart from Him.

"Bella your regular is here," Gianna said softly not loud enough for the others to hear, as she stood close to the door. "Is Heidi taking it or should I tell him you're coming?"

It was always the same fucking question that she asked whenever he came. It was like she was a broken record just playing that particular spot whenever she saw me.

"No Gianna, I'll be there," I said quietly as possible hoping the other girls didn't hear me through their screaming and horrible singing. Gianna whispered what room he was in before I made my way down the hall.

I wasn't sure what to wear to see him so I went with what I was already wearing, a pair of black trousers and a big white t-shirt. Today was Tuesday so there weren't really customers today hence the poker room meeting. I walked to the room that had the word _Flying_ written in bold red letters across it. The brothel had special rooms incase customers wanted to do the deed in the building. The word Flying was to indicate that it was some awesome fuck and the people in it wouldn't want to be disturbed. I know, totally dull, they could just put the: _don't disturb sign_ but then some of the girls would never follow it. Flying just made them avoid the room totally.

My heart slammed loudly in my chest as I entered the room and closed the door. I stood facing the door after shutting it, I was too afraid to turn around. I knew he was in the room even though the lighting in the room would make it hard for me to see him. I could smell his cologne from where I was standing. Well, at least he had been taking a shower. I wondered who had been doing that. Who had been taking care of him? Alice? Tanya? Esme? Well, I sure hoped it was Alice. I couldn't stand the images of Tanya holding him and comforting him, and Esme's images just made my blood boil.

"Are you ever going to turn around?" His velvet voice asked. I could tell he was still drunk through his muffled speech.

_Fuck, how many drinks had he taken already?_

I started thinking of all the possible illnesses he could have just by drinking too much. It could weaken his body senses, it could lead to bone disease, increase his blood pressure, and his liver could be damaged. A lot of things could happen to him. I had never been so concerned about drinking until now. I was totally focused on my thoughts until he cleared his throat.

"You know, I used to think I was a handsome man before. Not to sound corky but with the amount of girls that usually flocked around me, I thought I was pretty handsome to _look at_. But now you've got me doubting them and considering maybe they were just out for my money." He laughed and my chest ached at the sound. "To the fact that the one woman I love can't even look at me, I really feel I look ugly." I heard the drink of his bottle make a swoosh sound as a gulp eluded from him.

_Just turn around, and stop being chicken shit, he's not gonna bite you._

With that I turned around. The lighting in the room was terrible but I could still see his features. He wore a dark blue jean that hung around his waist with a grey fitted shirt that accentuated his muscular build up body. His hair was as tousled as it could ever be and his chin had grown small hairs which turned into a sexy beard. He looked a little scruffy and now I was beginning to wonder whether the cologne I had smelt was just something to use just because he hadn't had his bath. But with everything, he still looked sexy as hell and definitely fuckalicious.

When I gathered the courage to speak, my voice asked in a harsh tone "What are you doing here?"

"Sweet thing, why the frown?" he almost pouted. "Did you know that it takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty three to frown? You would grow old before your time my love," he chastised as he took another quaff of his drink.

I resisted the urge to walk over to him, break the bottle and comfort him and tell him I loved him too. His charming smile almost melted the frown on my face. I wasn't angry that he was here, I was angry because of what he was doing to himself. I was more livid at the fact that I couldn't do anything about it. "Why do you like tormenting yourself?" I sighed.

_Moreover, why do you like tormenting me?_

"I didn't know that my presence could cause such a reaction from you, I always thought I brought out the best out of you,"

_Still do._ "Edward," It felt so strange saying his name, it felt like drinking cold water after being thirsty for so long.

"Bella," he replied with a huge smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. It was almost heartbreaking seeing the smile. It seemed so fucking sad. How could a smile be sad?

"Edward,"

"Bella," he cut in again.

"I don't want you here,"

"Why?" his eyebrows scrunched up.

"You don't belong here," I sighed. This was going to be so fucking hard. It was like he wanted me to play the whole break up scene again except without an audience. "I can't give you what you want,"

"What do you think I want?" he asked standing up slowly, trying not to sway and fall on the floor.

"I'm not sure," I ran my hands through my hair, wondering of how I was going to be able to stand and watch him like this.

"This is a brothel Bella, is it not?"

"Yeah," I answered, my hands still fisted in my hair.

"And you're a prostitute, are you not?" he continued, and at this point he was standing fully and erect.

The word _prostitute_ stung inside of me. He had never directly called me a prostitute; in fact he had never implied or mentioned it. It was kind of forbidden from his mouth and now the use of it caused me to feel more depressed than I already was, if that was possible.

"Answer me, you're a prostitute right?"

"Yes," I said firmly, holding the tears that were so determined on spilling.

He would not see me cry.

"Alright then, Bella," he took slow steps toward me, swinging the bottle like a pendulum bulb with each step. He didn't say a thing until he came closer to me. His body leaned into mine and I could smell his breath which was thick with alcohol. "I'm gonna fuck you like a prostitute," he whispered cruelly as the bottle dropped from his hand and fell on the floor.

His hands reached under my shirt and he grasped my breast. I winced at the pain but didn't struggle to get away from him. I wanted him to pour everything on me. I wanted to also feel the pain I had inflicted on him.

_I caused this pain and now I'm going to swim in it._

"You want to be a prostitute?" his voice rose as he struggled to get the shirt off of me but kept on failing. Frustrated, he turned his back for a few minutes before looking back at me.

His eyes were bloodshot and it scared the shit out of me. His body seemed to be vibrating a bit and I took that as a sign from the past that he was really angry. But I wasn't going to run away from him. He needed this. He needed this outlet and I was going to give it to him. He should be comfortable with me always and if this would make him feel better then he could do it. He could take it out on me. I wouldn't hold any grudge against him because no matter what he did to me right now, he was not like any of the men I knew. He was not Aro and definitely not Phil. He was better. He was way better than any other man I knew. And he was the first man I truly and would ever love. He was perfection. He was my heaven. And any other man would just be earth to me. They wouldn't be able to ever break through my walls like the way he did. He owned me, my body, my soul and my heart. He was number one and everything was meaningless without him. I knew it now and this was the least I could do.

"You want to be treated like a prostitute huh?" he shouted as he dragged me roughly and pushed me on top of the bed. "You want Aro to own you forever Bella? Don't you want to have a fucking life? Don't you want to have someone who's worthy enough to _love _you?" he continued his raving.

He laughed and the sound taunted me. It caused some kind of fear inside of me and I just laid on the bed, waiting for him to do what he wanted to do to me. He dragged my pants off aggressively and I closed my eyes, a little terrified of what he was going to do next.

"Bella I'm gonna fuck you like a prostitute," he said when the pants had been discarded on the floor. "Then I'm gonna pay you money for it. I'm gonna pay you for a good fuck cause that's what you are. You're a fucking prostitute and I'm gonna fuck you like that." He said in an ominous tone and reached out to remove my top.

Silent sobs racked through my body and I cursed myself for being so weak. I was just brave a minute ago; I was going to let him have his way. Why was I acting this way now?

"Oh God. Isabella what have you done to me?" he cried and slumped at the end of the bed. When I opened my eyes I found him in between my legs, his back facing me, with his ass on the floor, his head in his hands, crying. I wasn't sure if I had ever seen a grown man cry before but seeing Edward Cullen cry was definitely not a sight I wanted to see. My mind screamed at me as my hands launched out on their own accord to his hair. The moment my hands felt his soft hair beneath my finger tips, my whole body adjusted and every rational thought flew out of the goddamned window. I sat up and my hands pulled his face out of his hands, caressing it. I felt the cold tears rub my skin and I wiped them away.

Fuck Esme,

The back of my hands smoothed the creases between his eyebrows.

Fuck Aro,

I let my thighs rest on his shoulders.

Fuck the fucking brothel,

I kissed his forehead, as my hair fell as a curtain to hide us.

Fuck my life,

His head flipped upward and my lips met his. His hands lifted up and he pressed my head further into the kiss. It became uncomfortable kissing him upside down so we changed our positions. He turned over and faced me, his hands holding my waist securely.

"I need you because I love you," he whispered and I just nodded dumbly. I understood and I knew he needed this.

His mouth met mine in a way that was strange and foreign to me. There was no teasing, just simplicity. He kissed me softly and fervently, his hands slowly drawing in my curves. My hands moved from his ears and into his hair as he pushed me further into the bed. My nipples began to harden as he took off his shirt and I gaped at his chest. You would think with the amount of alcohol he had been drinking, that his stomach would have been pot belly and he would have lost his figure by now. But no, he was still fit, although his masculine packs were slowly fading away. I removed the buckle of his belt as he continued to kiss me. Each kiss telling me he loved me.

"How the fuck do you want me to go through without you?" he said in between kisses as the loose jeans fell off his waist to reveal his boxers.

I didn't have an answer to that question so I continued kissing him. His hands fumbled with my bra a few times before he was finally able to get it off. "I love you," he whispered as my back fell to rest on the bed.

"I know," I muttered because I knew I couldn't say it back. It would hurt him more. His mouth left mine to feast more kisses on my body, slowly tasting every part of my body. His hands caressed me with tenderness. I closed my eyes to enjoy this moment and forget my troubles because we might never have this again.

"It'll be no one but you," he murmured against my belly button and I dragged his hair to make his face meet my mouth. I knew that he wanted to tell me all the sweet things he could possibly say before our time was up but that would have just made it painful for me. So I shut him up the only way I knew how, with my mouth. My hands removed his boxer as I could no longer wait to feel him inside me.

He started in a slow pace, filling me completely in. I showered kisses on his neck, his whole face, anywhere. I enjoyed every part of him as he made sweet amazing love to me. There was no rushing today, we were going to be slow and let it last. We went at it for hours and even though we were getting tired, we tried our best to prolong it. When we both succumbed to tiredness, we laid in each other's arms just pouring kisses and touching tenderly.

Edward was very tired and so he fell asleep after a short period of time. I didn't sleep, I was still doing that whole 'not waiting for the next day to come' shit. Plus, I didn't want to miss any moment with him. I watched his chest rise up and down with every slow breath he took. He looked so peaceful and heavenly, his legs tangled themselves with mine and his arms wrapped around my body securely. I played with his unruly hair and kissed his temples even though he didn't seem to react to it. He was dead as a log of wood. I caressed his skin, feeling the roughness of his muscular arms and committing it to memory. He moved slightly and his mouth parted a little bit. I gave into my temptation and kissed him softly, and even that didn't wake him up, he only moved a bit and wrapped me tightly.

"I love you," I whispered and smiled. An ecstatic feeling washed over me and it felt so good to say it out even though he was sleeping.

I stayed in his arms until I saw some light filter into the room letting me know the damned morning had arrived. I slowly slid out of his embrace and sighed at the loss of contact of his warm body. I quickly threw on my shirt and wore my pants before heading out to get a piece of paper and a pen. It was pretty early in the morning and none of the girls had woken up. Seth was sitting at the reception desk for his morning shift. I asked him for what I needed and went back to the room. Edward was still sleeping like a child with the sheets wrapped around his naked body.

I sat down and started writing the letter. I tried to be quiet so he won't wake up and find me before I left, the last thing I needed was him not letting go. I finished the letter, folded it and placed it into his jean, hoping he would check it before throwing them in the washing machine. I walked up to him and kissed his forehead before tip toeing out to the door. I took one last glance and my mind kept battling on whether this was the right thing to do. After staring for like five minutes like a fucking lunatic, I walked out of the room.

**&**

"Baby what is the matter with you?" Renee asked from the bed as she sipped her hot coffee.

"Huh? Nothing," I answered, looking at her briefly.

"You would think that my coming home would excite you, instead you've been looking gloomy all day even after Laurent said the good news. Aren't you happy I'm coming back home?" She feigned a sad pout.

"No…I mean, yes." I moved closer to the bed. "I'm sorry; I've just been out of it lately. Of course I'm happy you're coming home." I took her hands in mine and rubbed them softly.

"Yeah, I'm so tired of staying here. The smell just chokes me; I don't think I even know what fresh air smells like. Then the nurses keep asking me to walk up and down and I'm like to where? It's not like there's a museum park here, it's a hospital. I would just be moving around seeing other sick people who would instantly make me feel depressed. Oh my God, I was so sad yesterday. Actually I was frightened; I took one of those walks, and found out the guy in three rooms before mine died yesterday. I was so down. I didn't even know the guy and his death had such an effect to me. Hospitals are definitely not made for me," she finished her rambling and looked back at her magazine. "Honey, if there's something please don't leave me in the dark. I know you're like your father in cases of not sharing your feelings and it really doesn't help. It's better when you let it out. But I won't push you if you really don't want to talk about it."

"It's nothing really," I lied. "I'm just a little bit worried about you coming home. I've cleaned the house but you've been here for so long, I don't want it to feel strange and the fact that I'm not going to living with you, how would I know if something goes wrong?" That part was true though so I wasn't entirely lying.

"Baby, I'm actually your mother you know that right, it isn't the other way round. I'm a grown woman; I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'm a little bummed that you have to stay with your boss because of this assistant job thing but I can handle it. Now stop worrying, you're going to grow wrinkles before your time," she smiled and I returned it. "I'm very proud of you, always know that."

_Yeah, you haven't seen anything yet. _

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Well there we have it, BPOV's. Not sure how this went, you let me know. It was really hard to write and it took a lot of convincing to post it but I wanted to make Graciexlovesxyou happy and I really hope I'm not late. Please excuse any errors, I'm pretty tired.

Next chapter is going to be free of angst, well not fully but it should be lighter and really funny because people, Emmett's finally getting married!!! Woot Woot! And I actually have to plan this wedding (sigh).

The whole conversation of hospital was from my friend when I went to visit her at the hospital; she just went on and on. So I decided to use it, guess I was listening.

Uhh…what else? Yeah, I'm starting a new story (hopefully)…Yay! I'm so excited. First off, Bella's going to be still complicated (cause that's how I like to write her). But it's going to be light and a little snarky and funny. Hopefully my beta would approve. I've already sent the first chapter to her. It's still a little bit dark at the beginning but gets better as it goes.

So ladies and gentlemen please let me know what you think, I really do get flutters when I see reviews cloud my inbox!


	16. You had me at hello & then you let me go

**WARNING: This chapter may SUCK! Also Edward is a bit snarky and grouchy in this chapter, don't say I didn't warn you. Oh yeah, there will be grammatical errors because this is just so fucking long! Plus no beta so manage, better than nothing right?**

**Check for all dresses (Rose's, Alice's and bridesmaid dress on my profile, click the link. It's working)**

**Song for this chapter – Too pretty for me (State of Shock) – totally fits how Edward feels in this chap!**

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YOU HAD AT ME HELLO AND THEN YOU LET ME GO

"It's my fucking wedding you assholes!!!" Rosalie screamed into the phone and snapped it shut as I gulped two pills of Tylenol with a glass of cold water.

Ah, the almighty wedding was finally here and it had unleashed the devil from hell in the form of Rosalie Hale. At first, not to be an asshole but I was definitely sure that Emmett and his long time girlfriend were **never** going to make it to the aisle. As a matter of fact, last year, I made a bet with him about it because of how many times it got postponed. But alas, it was here, slowly burning us in the never ending screams erupting from Rosalie aimed at the people involved in preparing this perfect ceremony or should I say funeral?

After a month of almost falling into depression, **almost**, Rosalie and I had a little talk. Actually, to call it _'little'_ would be an understatement. We had a huge argument about my well being. Apparently, my solemn state was causing Emmett to postpone the wedding again for what almost seemed to be the hundredth time and our dear lovely, compassionate, Rose, couldn't condone this decision. Not that she didn't feel sorry for me, because she did but she couldn't just wait to be tied to Emmett for the rest of her life legally; like as if she wasn't already. So she told me in a very unselfish tone, to suck it up and make my brother happy because my behavior was affecting him and everyone else. Since I couldn't show my emotions and cause my family a huge distress, I just drank away my sorrows.

However, at this point I was wondering if I had made a terrible mistake considering that Rose was acting like the fucking queen of darkness right now.

"Rose could you take it down, I'm having a splitting headache and your screaming isn't helping," I dropped the glass cup on the table and used my hands to cover my face. My head felt like someone was nailing it to the fucking ground with a hammer and the noises around me were definitely not helping.

"Maybe if you'd stop drinking all the time, you wouldn't be having a fucking headache!" she retorted, stomping off to the nearest couch and throwing a cushion at me.

"Hey!" the cushion landed on my face. "Don't pour your anger on me because Jacques Chirac forgot to send your wedding dress!" I threw the cushion back at her.

"You asswipe, its Jacques Claude and he didn't forget, I don't even know if he has finished. How the hell I'm I supposed to get married without a wedding dress?" her beautiful face glowered with anger and frustration.

"Whatever, go in your underwear," I cleverly suggested.

"Maybe if you had told me to make it for you, you wouldn't be in this mess," Alice walked in and sat down beside me, laying her head on my chest. "I've already finished my bridesmaid dress and I did it all by myself," she finished with a smug grin.

"Well clap for yourself little Miss fairy, who can whip up a gorgeous gown in a week. It's a wedding not a party, my wedding." She hissed and rested her arm on the armrest of the couch. "The wedding I've planned my whole life,"

"Who bloody cares? Just wear a suit and walk to the aisle and say the 'I do' to Em so we can all rest in peace." I said grouchily.

"You'll rest in peace alright, when I send you to your fucking grave," she hissed.

"Alright guys, break it up. You're all adults; must I be the only responsible one amongst you?" Emmett said, walking into the room majestically like he was doing some grand entrance or some shit. "Beautiful, what's the matter?" he asked tenderly as he squatted in front of her.

I watched their exchange in shock and awe. Before Em came into the room, Rose was so snappy and bitchy; yet as soon as his presence surrounded her, she adjusted and became soft and calm towards him. I was almost jealous, if she only acted this way around us, the world would have been a better and safer place. It could probably even help in global warming.

"Baby, Jacques hasn't sent the dress yet. I don't even know if it's finished. I'm so upset," she cooed at him in a childlike manner as he wrapped his arms around her. I never knew she could be this gentle; all I ever saw was her rock hard side.

"You know I'd marry you in anything you have," he caressed her, which almost made me puke.

"You will?" she batted her eyelashes at him and I was almost sure I was watching one of those pathetic black and white romantic movies. It was like the part two of the romance between Alice and Jasper.

"Oh my God!" I rolled my eyes and shifted my body from Alice in an attempt to stand up while she giggled at them. I left the waiting room and headed for the kitchen.

Esme and Rosalie's mum, Catherine, agreed with the wedding planner to have the wedding reception at my parents house because of how large and spacious it was. They had removed all the furniture away from the living room and everywhere else downstairs apart from the waiting room to create space for smaller chairs and more rooms for guests. The house was also undergoing some painting and some small renovations in order to bring out the decorations they were planning to use.

I walked into the kitchen and found my uncles' wives, Athenodora (Dora) and Didyme (Didi) cutting vegetables along with my mum. "Hello ladies," I greeted politely and walked straight into the fridge.

"Hello Edward," both of them replied in a chorus.

"You've really grown into a handsome man since the last time I saw you," Dora patted my shoulders as I bent down to rummage around the fridge for a drink.

I found a bottle of coke and rose up to look at her. "And you my dear aunt, grow more beautiful every day," I put on a charming smile which caused some flush in her cheeks.

"Always the charmer aren't you boy?" Didi giggled as I twisted the lid of the bottle open.

"Who else would be? Emmett is already packaged and sealed. We'll be shipping him off soon." I laughed and took a swig before returning to the fridge to get out a beer.

"Edward, you've been drinking too much lately. Don't you think it's enough?" Esme said in a reprimanding tone but didn't look up to me; she just kept on focusing on the chopping of the vegetables.

"Oh look! My mother is concerned about my health; she's actually asking not making the decision for me. Thank you, your efforts continue to astonish me," I said sarcastically, slamming the door of the fridge before leaving the kitchen.

My resentment toward Esme still hadn't changed after the whole Chelsea incident. I hadn't really spoken to her except dropping snide comments once in a while whenever she approached me. My father had been a different case; we avoided each other like plagues. I just didn't have anything to say to him anymore. I wouldn't have even seen them or been in this house if it weren't for Rose and Em. I just didn't want to be anywhere close to them and this wedding was making it so difficult.

_One of the reasons why I hate weddings._

"Wait, you guys are having a bachelorette party? Does that even exist?" Emmett's deep voice asked in confusion as I approached the room.

"This is the 21st century Em and what the fuck do you expect us to do when you're having your own fun? Honey we have to catch our groove too." Rosalie grinned and slapped a high five with Alice. "While you get your last night of irresponsibility out of your system on Friday night, we'd flex ours at Seven."

"I can't believe this," Emmett looked mortified. I guess the sight of seeing guys stripping and giving Rose lap dances weren't that exciting than getting for himself.

"Oh come on Em! I don't see what the problem is, it seems equally fair to me," Alice stole my coke and took a small gulp.

"It is if almost naked men are going to be dancing in front of my wife!" he exclaimed.

"But naked girls are going to be flaunting their stuff in front of you so what's the difference?" Rosalie placed her hands on her hips with her argument face on. "This is pure sexism and that's a double standard!" she finished and I knew the conversation had gone downhill. Whenever those two argued, it was like the battle between a cat and a dog.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was a bitch and so was trying to get everyone here," Jasper barged into the room, saving us before all hell broke loose.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed like she just won a lottery and jumped on him. I wondered if she ever got tired of jumping on his bones every fucking time she saw him, wasn't she afraid that he'd get back pain? Tanya and my cousins with their various spouses and friends filled the rooms and shared greetings amongst us.

My uncle Marcus with his wife Didi had three beautiful daughters; Amelia, Bethany and Caitlin whom were all married and residing in England. Amelia and Bethany had children of their own while Caitlin didn't have any. Caius, my father's second brother, had four children who all had Italian names because they lived in Italy well except for Mia who stayed in England. They were Bianca, Mia, Sal and Raimondo. Bianca and Raimondo were married but Sal and Mia weren't ready to give up their bachelor and bachelorette profiles just yet.

"Edward!" Mia moved towards me and gave me a warm hug. "It's so good to see you. You weren't here when I arrived, how are you?" she asked as her hands held my face. Her accent was quite unique because of the mixture of her original Italian accent with the British accent she gained due to her stay in England. Mia and I had developed a sort of close relationship because of my last visit to England in which she accompanied me and helped me explore the wonderful place.

"I'm fine, I haven't seen you in like ages," I smiled as she tucked her black hair to the back of her ears.

"I know, you refused to come and visit me," she pouted her lips, she was so frigging cute.

"Mia, aren't you going to even say hi to the person who made you fly all the way over here?" Emmett interrupted as the rest of my cousins shuffled themselves around to find places to sit.

"Aw Em!" she hopped off my laps and went to meet him. "I can't believe you're getting married. You're living our singles club. Now it's just Alice, Edward, Sal and I eh?" she chuckled as he scattered her hair.

By the end of the week, the whole of Forks was filled with friends, relatives and well-wishers of the Cullen family all here for Emmett Cullen's wedding. Tanya's family had also arrived and then everyone was suddenly happy except me. I was glad the house was full though and everyone was busy with the arrangements because the last thing I wanted to do was allow my idle mind think about Bella and what she had written in that letter.

_Bella_.

I needed her. I craved for her every day. I thought about her and she badly wanted me to stay away.

It was incredibly harder than I thought. After she had requested for me to leave her alone, it took some ounces of stalking before I was able to just let her be. She wouldn't respond to any of my visits and Heidi hardly responded to any of my calls. So like the fucking creep I am, I stalked her. I watched her every time she left the brothel, when she went to the grocery store and when she went to visit a particular woman who had the same hair color as hers. Once the evening arrived, I either went to a bar or went to punch the life out of my punching bag in my gym. I couldn't stand there and watch her offer herself to men. It was so fucking difficult. One time, I was almost tempted to go into the building and kill Aro. Emmett stopped me.

I stopped stalking her when he made an announcement that they were indeed going to carry on with the wedding because it gave me something to do rather than hang around the filthy brothel. I began smoking again; it seemed to ease my senses. Jasper noticed and tried to talk to me on few occasions about it but I just couldn't talk. I couldn't talk to Emmett or Alice either because let's face it, Rose was right, they were train wrecks whenever I broke down. It all became harder and time wasn't healing anything at all.

*****

"Em let's see you go down!" Some of my colleagues, cousins and friends shouted in unison as the strippers surrounded Emmett and danced around him.

It was the night of the bachelor party, there was booze and joints everywhere and about six strippers that Jasper and I hired for Em's fun. Our friends were clapping and cheering as the girls stripped off their costumes right in front of him, all in a circle. I sat back, watching and downing the whole liquid of the beer I was holding. Bachelor parties were a trip! There were mainly done for the enjoyment of the groom's men; watching their fellow man feeling very uncomfortable and making fun of him. Although most of the time the grooms enjoyed it too.

"Come on Em! Slap that ass," Jacob laughed as he threw a wad of cash to Em who was strapped to an armchair. "Show us your money worth, pretty ladies make him crawl!" The guys all broke into laughter.

Emmett could have enjoyed this party fully if he wasn't thinking about what his wife to be was doing as of this minute. Four of the girls moved to the other men and started entertaining them. The remaining two decided to put on a huge show for Em. They were already stripped to their bras and panties, giving Em a whole lot of view. They each sat on his lap and began to touch themselves erotically while Em watched in amazement. The whole charade must have shaken him out of his daze because his body seemed to relax.

One of the girls on Em's laps; let's call her A, and the other one, B because I don't fucking store stripper's names in my head. Anyway A dragged B's head and pulled her into a long fucking tongue tied kiss. Their hands started moving along each other's bodies, caressing their breasts, sucking off each other's necks and biting. The guys continued hailing and a stream of profanities coursed throughout the room as they watched the girls make out on Em's laps, who seemed to be in so much shock. I was considering taping his reaction but then, whatever happens in bachelor parties, stays there. Nothing leaves the room. It was just a cardinal rule.

B spread out her legs as A started to finger fuck her, starting with one finger which drove straight into her clit. Groans erupted out from almost all the guys in the room as B cried out her orgasm. I was a little bit stunned at the whole scene. I had been to some bachelor parties but I had never witnessed such an act from the strippers. I guess the money we offered them made them take it to the next level.

A, was squeezing B's nipples so tight that I heard Emmet give a fucking long goddamn curse that I've ever heard in my life. All their ministrations caused a frenzied state between all the guys in the room and I hated that my dick was growing hard just by the sight. I had to take a cold shower after that.

After a couple of more stripper-porn, we all went to bed to prepare for the big day.

_ **The next day**_

"Okay guys; remember two steps slowly at a time." Becca, the wedding planner said softly, adjusting a small flower that was resting on Jasper's front pocket.

The men/boys, including me, were all dressed in crisp clean black tuxedos. The bridesmaids/flower girls were dressed in a smooth black flowing gown that had some sort of gathers at the end and a pink ribbon tied in bows at their waist. The maid of honor, our dear Alice Cullen who was my partner to walk down with, was dressed in a pink flowing gown that covered her shoes and a lot of bangles that decorated her right wrist. She was feeling pretty happy with herself today because she happened to design all their dresses. Her hair was in tiny curls that sprung around her face.

"Alright guys, it's your cue. Remember easy steps," Becca announced once again as everyone straightened up.

The train was so fucking long because Rose, attention goddess, had to use almost all of our family members for it. The doors of the chapel opened and Pachelbel's Cannon in D major filtered from the orchestra and flowed through the whole room. One of the ushers escorted Nana in first, following her to her seat. Esme followed next with George, Amelia's little son. Next were Bethany's son and Catherine who couldn't stop smiling. Our nieces and nephews followed after as the flower girls and page boys.

"This is it," Alice slipped her hand under my own and gave me a warm smile. We started walking in slow steps into the church. Emmett was standing at the end of the aisle with his stupid shit eating grin. I almost wanted to knock the fuck out of his face for looking so smug. But I was happy because that was one of the first times I had actually seen him really really happy. Of course he always looked happy but this past couple of weeks had really taken a toll on him because of my breakdown. And I was glad that Rose made me come out of it because his fucking smile was making all this worth it. He just couldn't stop blushing, it was fucking ridiculous. Then again, if I was the one standing at the altar and Bella was coming in her lovely white gown…

I'd be pretty fucking ecstatic!

It took almost ten minutes to finally reach our destination but of course maybe I'm just exaggerating. When Alice and I got to the front of the aisle, we parted. She moved to the right while I went to stand behind my brother and act the fucking role of a best man.

"Are you nervous?" I whispered as I watched his joint hands slide over each other.

"Nope just can't wait till we get to the reception, I'm fucking starving," he chuckled lightly.

The rest of the grooms men and bridesmaids filed into their positions followed by Bianca's little boy who was the ring bearer. He looked so lost walking down, probably wondering where the hell his mom was. Anyway, he finally made it to wherever they wanted him to go to. And then the orchestra started playing the wedding march from Felix Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Night's dream as everyone stood up to welcome the bride.

Rosalie must have been fucking enjoying this shit. She walked in, her arms slung in her father's own. And I must say she looked really beautiful. She was wearing a pure white wedding dress that had a very complicated design at the end; it had a lot of gathers at the end with a light brown ribbon tied at her waist. Her hair was coiled and packed into a small crown that balanced on her head.

After the Jerusalem snail walk, she finally made it to Emmett. Thank God because I was almost tempted to walk down there and carry her myself.

Everyone took their seats as the minister began. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together today in the presence of God, family, friends and loved ones for the purpose of uniting in matrimony Rosalie Hale and Emmett Cullen. If anyone can show just cause why this people should not be married, you may speak now or forever hold your peace."

There was a moment of silence as everyone turned to look around, and I swear I almost saw Nana's hand rise up if Esme didn't put it down abruptly.

The rest of the church ceremony carried on. Mr. Hale said 'I do' when they asked who presented this woman. The minister then carried on with the usual procession in making Rosalie a Cullen as they each said their vows.

"By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband," He looked at Emmett who looked like his smile could explode. "And wife." He finished, giving a glance to Rose. "You may now kiss the bride."

And Em happily did so. In fact he did it dramatically by carrying Rose and frenching her. After a few minutes of discomfort, the minister cleared his throat because no matter even if you're married, you just can't be tongue-fucking someone in God's house.

They walked out of the church and then were assaulted by confetti and more flowers by our flower girls who were doing a great job, they almost pissed Rose off and I was content with that.

We all made it back to the house in one piece for the reception in the evening. Rose and Em stood at the door, welcoming in guests who were all in a line waiting to get inside and eat.

"So Rose you're now a fucking Cullen." I smirked, pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah, bound to you for life baby," She smiled as I pulled away.

"Em, my man, I never thought this day would come. I guess I have to give you two hundred bucks now." I sulked and watched the demon in Rose creep out as she turned to Emmett.

"You made a bet on our wedding," she said furiously, poking him in the chest as realization hit her. "Oh you're so not getting any this night!"

"Aww hell! Come on Rose. I made a bet that we would win," he tried to explain as I moved to our table in laughter. Jasper, Alice, Nana, our parents and Rose's parents were already seated.

"You okay?" Alice asked, as I hopped into the chair beside her.

"Yeah, you?" I replied as she nodded.

When everyone had settled into their seats and was almost dying to eat, well from the look on Jacob's face. We decided to give the toast. Since I was the best man, I had to open the speech box. I didn't have much to say. I was not really a man of words ever since yesterday night, all the drinking and stripper porn flushed all the words out of my system.

"I would like to make a toast to my brother, my bestfriend whom I'm glad has decided to annoy this beautiful woman over here," I gestured to Rosalie with my champagne glass. "For the rest of his entire life. May God give you the stamina to stand him and also make him very happy because well if you don't, I'll gladly kill you," I mumbled unintelligently and sat down as Rose rolled her eyes at me.

Alice gave her own speech, talking about all the times we were kids and we all used to say we would get married one day and how glad she was Emmett had finally taken the first step. Blah blah blah. What no one expected was Jasper's speech because as soon as Alice finished hers, everyone wanted to start drinking until he called our attention. Nana spat back her wine into the cup when she realized the speech wasn't over yet.

"I just want to say something." He said, smiling as he stood up. "Now, Em, I know this is totally your day and I'm completely sorry for spoiling it and taking away your spotlight but I've wanted to do this since." He looked over to Alice who was staring at him with a confused expression. "Sweetluv," he knelt down and even before the proposal, all the ladies cooed their 'oh's' and 'aws' before he finally got around to what he was doing. "I've been in love with you since I can remember. I've seen no one but you. And I only want to see you and feel you. I want to be the man you wake up to every morning with your scattered hair and cute face. So I'm asking you, will you please marry me so I can spend the rest of forever making you happy?"

Alice stared at him in bewilderment before regaining herself two minutes after Jazz blurted out his proposal. "Yes love," she stood up and threw herself on him. The whole room clapped and sang their congratulations.

I finally was able to throw down the champagne into my throat and poured more into my glass. I was happy for them, for all of them. But I couldn't help but feel a little jealous, everyone was already having their happy fucking forever shit and I was left with Tanya's sad glares staring at me.

_Damn it! Where the fuck was mine? _

I had never thought about marriage before but the happiness that was painted on Emmett's face as he looked at Rosalie wearing their wedding band just made me crave it. I wanted it to be me and Bella so bad. I wanted her to be here, to help me from feeling this misery and loneliness.

The night carried on with the bride and groom's first dance. They danced to _the way you look tonight _by Tony Bennett. Rose was wrapped all over Em's arms as he swayed her all over the empty dance floor which was my parent's backyard. The backyard was decorated with a small stage in front. White flowers and candles surrounded the open space which was the dance floor. Tents covered the tables were the guests sat.

After a few dances with their parents, the party started.

Because we all know Rose wasn't into slow dance songs and she had us working this routine for two weeks. By us, I mean the bridesmaids and the groom's men. She had suggested that we do a dance performance so she could always watch her wedding tape and know she did something different. We couldn't refuse because she threatened to remove all our balls and Alice supported it so there was no way I was going against those two.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom and followers have a little performance to entertain you with. Sit back and enjoy," Becca spoke into the microphone as Rose and Emmett stepped forward onto the dance floor.

Rose had changed into a short sequin silver dress that was above her knees. Her hair had been loosened from its crown and was dancing around her shoulders. Em had taken off his jacket, removed his tie and folded his sleeves up to his arms. The bridesmaids shuffled to the right of the dance floor forming a small circle while the grooms' men were on the opposite side, leaving a lot of space for the guests to watch. I got out my wallet and held a couple of $100 dollar bills standing at my position and winking at Alice.

The lights surrounding the small stage, dimmed. Disco lights started shining on the spot where Rose and Em were waiting. The bridesmaids and grooms men clapped as the beat of _the way I are remix _by Timbaland feat Francisco came on. Emmett rolled up his sleeves further as the lyrics flowed through the speakers.

_  
You're the type of girl I wanna' show_

He pointed to Rose who started dancing slow steps around him while clapping._  
Show what type of man I am and how I roll_

He moved his left hand as if he was driving a car, emphasizing the 'roll'_  
I'm the type of man you call your friends and go_

His fingers drew a horizontal circle in the air, feeling all smug and suave._  
(Lemme' talk to you girl)_

Emmett started tapping his foot on the ground matching the beat and dusting invisible specks as Rosalie grinded all around him in a circle. _"I __ain't got no money," _he lip sang as the groom's men and I sprayed a stack of money over them with Rosalie whining her waist and dancing around him. The money showered them like rain.

_I ain't got no car to take you on a date_

The bridesmaids danced closer to them.

_I can't even buy you flowers_

The beautiful ladies sprayed them with a bunch of cut rose petals. Rosalie was definitely basking in the glow of flowers and money being sprayed on her.

_But together we'd be the perfect soulmates, talk to me girl._

At this point, Rosalie halted all her dance movements and Emmett took over the dancing, doing it MJ style and moon-walking all around her. She stood with a pensive look on her face, tapping her chin like as if she was considering him and failing to be interested.

_Baby, it's alright now, you aint gotta flaunt for me. If we go and touch, you can still touch my love for free, it's free. _

_We can work without the perks just you and me. Work it out till we get it right._

When the chorus came in, Rose and Emmett turned it into a dancing contest. Rose was shaking her butt off while Emmett was keeping it cool like she couldn't dance. The whole dance was so hilarious that almost everyone was laughing in their seats at their act.

The song ended and _Let's get Loud _by Jennifer Lopez came on. Almost everyone stood up from their seats and joined the newlywed couple on the dance floor. I collected a couple of cocktails from the waiters as they passed; standing close to a tree and watching my brother and his wife enjoy the fuck out of themselves. Nana seemed to be having fun too, she was dancing with Marcus. She had been so quiet throughout the evening; I was hoping she was alright.

"Come on let's dance Edward. Come show me what you got!" Mia giggled stealing my tumbler and dropping it on the grass before carrying me into the crowd.

"_Let the music make you free, be what you wanna be. Make no excuses. You gotta do it, (do what you wanna do) you gotta do it your way. You gotta prove it (say what you wanna say)"_ she sang along and then we started dancing salsa.

Everyone was clapping and cheering as she continued swinging her ass and her hips everywhere. I was so stunned by how vibrant she was that I almost lost my balance and fell.

When it got to the bridge, things started to get messy. And some of our colleagues from work opened five bottles of champagne and poured it all over Emmett. It was so fucking funny. Rosalie distanced herself from him until all the liquid had blessed Em.

Mia excused herself to the bathroom when the song changed to _Push it harder tonight _by Addictiv. I went back to my chair to drink some more when Alice came from absolutely nowhere and dragged me back to the dance floor. We danced to a few songs until Jasper came and took her away from me to dance. I was grateful to him and I started to make my way back to my seat when Rose popped in front of me.

_Damn it! God why do you have it in for me this evening?_

She danced with me to Usher's _Love in this club. _That was until _I gotta feeling _by Black Eyed Peas came on. She slapped my back hard and then winked at me to turn around.

I turned around and low and behold….

Isabella fucking Swan was standing in front of me. I wiped my eyes a few times to ensure she was the one and I wasn't seeing things. She was dressed in a sleeveless halter dress that had a laced up back. Her hair was in big wavy curls and she had a black eye shadow that outlined her eyes. She looked fucking beautiful.

_I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good good night…_

"What...." I couldn't even form a coherent sentence as she gripped my hands and wound them around her waist.

"Shhhsh. We'll talk after this song." She hushed me with her index fingers to my lips.

Her hands snaked around my neck and she began banging her head to the beat, making all her curls bounce around her face and disrupting my view.

_Let's paint the town, we'll shut it down. Let's burn the roof and then we'll do it again._

I let my body loosen up as she began gyrating her hips on my groin which was making my cock as hard as stone. My whole body adjusted to her as we tried to get closer to each other. Everyone had crowded all over us, dancing, shouting and drinking. The whole backyard had become a club. It was fucking fantastic…mainly because she was here.

Her breasts rubbed against my chest and I stifled a groan. My hands caressed every inch of her, committing it to memory because I wasn't sure if she was real or if very soon Alice would hop on my bed and wake me up.

_God please let this not be a fucking dream._

She bent low and rubbed her ass exactly on my hard on. I bent forward, my chest resting on her back, her ass merged with my crotch and whispered. "Are you trying to have sex with me here?" My voice came out in a husky tone.

She smiled and arched her back forward, pushing me into a standing position. "You missed me?"

"Hell yeah," I slung my arms to rest on her waist as she faced me and placed her arms on my shoulders.

The song changed to something slower but I couldn't recognize it because I was so caught up in the slender beautiful woman in my arms.

"Are you even real?" my hands ghosted along the side of her face.

"Do I look like a ghost?" her brown eyes glowed.

"You could just be a figment of my imagination,"

"How many drinks have you had? Are they making you see things that are not there?" her fingers intertwined with my hair.

_Oh God, how much I've missed her._

"Are you really here?"

"For fuck's sake Edward, yes," she rolled her eyes. "You're touching me. Besides it's not like I died or anything, I still live in Forks,"

"But the letter, you specifically said you didn't want to see--"

"Wait, are you sure you graduated College?"

"Quit playing games with me, I know what I read."

"Maybe you had uptight friends,"

"I'm not quite understanding you,"

"No you just don't understand English," she sighed. "143 Edward, 143."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I have nothing to say to you,"

"You never do, that's the problem."

"Stop talking, I don't have unlimited time,"

"Why? Are you finally going to disappear? What are you doing here anyway?"

"You don't want me here?" her eyebrows rose up in question.

"No…I'm just wondering."

"I was invited, can't pass up free food plus I know how sulky you get at weddings especially if you don't have a date, not that I expected you to be dateless although you seemed to be enjoying yourself with a very beautiful…"

I cut her off, I knew who she was talking about; Mia. "You're rambling. First of all she's my cousin," her mouth popped into an 'O' and I couldn't help but smile, she was jealous. "Secondly, I'm very happy that you're jealous, it proves you're not the hardcore bitch I thought you were and wait how the hell do you know that I was dancing with a woman? How long have you been here?"

"Oops," she held her lips like a child who had been caught stealing. "I've been here since the reception started. I heard your speech; you're really not quite creative. I mean it was the best man speech and that's all you could come up with?"

We continued swaying around, not giving a damn about whoever was around us."I didn't want it to be long, Emmett was really hungry. He had been talking about food since we left the church."

"Very typical of him," she laughed and I almost pulled out my phone to record it.

Lord, I'm a creep.

"You look beautiful,"

"Thanks and you look quite nice too." We both laughed and stared at each other.

"Oh Edward," she started in a serious tone that made me nervous. "I want you to be happy,"

"Are you happy?" I pulled her hair away from her face.

"It doesn't matter," she answered in a low voice.

"I can only be happy when you're happy."

"Fine then, I'm happy."

I looked into her eyes; she was really good at faking facial expressions. "I lied," I whispered. "I can only be happy when I'm with you," I buried my face in her shoulders so I didn't have to see the rejection there. "You belong with me," I whispered into her skin.

"Is it raining?" Rosalie's voice screeched over the music as I felt drops of rain pour down on us, bringing us back to earth.

"Baby, it just makes this whole scene more romantic for us. Plus I get to be washed off from this sticky champagne." Emmett answered and tried to her calm her down.

"Do you know how long my hair took?"

"Alright guys, time to throw the bouquet and set the bride off to bed before she bursts," Jasper chuckled into the microphone as Rose gave him her middle finger.

All the ladies followed them into the foyer and Rose climbed up the stairs to throw her bouquet. I wasn't sure who caught it because I was still staring at Bella who seemed so intrigued by the whole thing. After throwing the bouquet, Rose and Em entered the limousine; I had hired for them and went on for their honeymoon or wherever they were staying for the night.

When they both left, all the guests went back to the backyard and continued dancing in the rain.

I think this was the best wedding I had ever been to and it was perfect because she was here.

* * *

**So yeah, this chapter might not be perfect because I was trying to get it out early. Did you like the dresses?**

**Answers to questions you might ask: Yes, Rose invited Bella; she went to the brothel by herself. I would put their confrontation in the next chapter. **

**Now, a lot of time has passed since Edward has been with Bella even though I don't write their separation so don't think they are together most of the time. I just skip those parts when they are on their own, separate.**

**The letter, I'll try and put that in the next chapter, it made this one too long and bulky. Oh yeah, 143 is what she wrote at the end of the letter before she put her name. So you can try to guess that before I tell you.**

**Besides this chapter was supposed to be fluffy and Edward can only really be happy when she's here. He said so himself.**

**On to finer things, sorry I took long in bringing you this: even though it's not perfect, hope it was worth it. How did I try at being non-angst?**

**I started a story, _Love is hell._ I'd really appreciate it, if you read it and dropped me some love, pretty please.**

**Oh yeah and drop me some love for this too because I worked my butt off for it, a little reward perhaps?**

**C u next chap!**


	17. The State of Absolution

**A/N: Guys THANKS a LOT! For the response I've gotten for this story. I don't know what to say. Thank you for all your support, I'm very grateful. Thanks for those who went over to my other story and dropped some love for me. Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting for this chapter. It might not be perfect. **

**So I'm going to skip the whole talking shit and leave you with this.**

* * *

THE STATE OF ABSOLUTION

I eyed the hideous thing as I sat at the edge of my bed, thinking and plotting of ways for its death. The way its green was so vibrant and alive was quite astonishing since I hadn't watered it about four months ago. I was jealous of it. Yes, I was fucking jealous of a plant, the hideous 'never die plant'. I was jealous of the way it bloomed every fucking day even after a disaster occurred. I was envious that it never withered away, every time I came to the fucking room and saw its happy leaves standing, joyous and full of energy it just made me feel so fucking angry.

How could this fucking thing not die? I mean I knew Edward claimed that it was _immortal _but come on, was there really anything immortal on this earth? Everything that had life had to die at some point. Nothing with me ever lasted this long without being sick or damaged so the plant should have at least had some brown leaves. I wasn't sure why this got me agitated but it did. I tried burning it once, throwing it in the fire just to watch the flames ravish it and for it scream from the fire as it turned to ashes. But Heidi just had to come and save it, yes she saved the fucking plant. At this point, I was beginning to believe it was possessed by some spirits or I don't know some evil magic was protecting it.

I sighed and played with the chain that hung around my neck with the two lockets clinking together, my mother and Edward's, close to my heart. I burned these past weeks, I wanted to scream. The love I felt had become so fucking poisonous flowing like venom inside my blood stream. I needed to see him, I needed to touch him, I needed him to hold me and kiss me and make love to me and also fuck me. Everything I did became stale; I couldn't even get an orgasm while fucking customers. Not that half of them cared whether I did get one or not but it just felt incomplete. I needed him badly, just to see him and quench the thirst and longing that grew in my veins knowing that he wasn't far away from me. The lockets both reminded me of something. Renee's own reminded me of what I had but could not live with while Edward's own reminded me of what I didn't have but could not live without.

I had finally found the courage to spill the truth with my mother. I became so paranoid that almost everyone she spoke with was going to inform her of my job. I couldn't take it; I needed to tell her before anyone else did. I didn't want her to feel hurt that I lied to her and didn't even have the dignity to tell her the truth myself. The entire fucking waiting was just making this whole shit inevitable and the cut to her chest deeper if I didn't tell her. So I did. I sucked it up and dealt with it.

It was a Thursday afternoon and I had just finished doing the grocery shopping for the brothel. I took permission off to go visit her at the old house.

"Bella, what are you doing here? I thought you said you had to work this weekend," she said as I appeared in the kitchen, watching her get the roasted turkey out of the oven.

"Yeah, just thought I'd stop by," I gave her a warm smile and hopped on one of the kitchen stools.

It felt so good seeing her healthy and normal, and in the house without the heart monitors wrapping her body, just being her usual self and cooking. It made me feel so elated seeing her this way but the feeling didn't overcome the fear of the thing I was about to do.

I drummed my fingers on the table as I watched her cut the carrots and then spread them around the huge fish in the white plate. She always claimed that cooking and serving it artistically, made the food seem more delicious rather than serving it plain. To me, it didn't just make any fucking difference.

"How are you?" I asked after getting bored of watching her cut fruits.

"Fine and you? How is work? You know you have to come and show me that work place that is keeping you away from your mother. Do they want to kill you? You need a break," she went on and got out a jar of apple juice from the fridge. She poured it into a glass cup and slid it to my direction.

"Thanks," I muttered, taking a long sip before setting the cup down on the table. "Mum about that, I have something to discuss with you,"

I waited for her to finish using the knife, afraid that if I went on, she just might use it to stab me as a reaction to what I was about to tell her.

"Mum, I don't do what you think I do…" I started dumbly, staring at my fingers intently and wondering how I should go about this.

"What does that mean?" she asked, as she dropped the plate of chicken quesadilla on the table.

"I tried looking for a decent job but no one really wanted to accept me because I only had a high school degree…" I trailed off, gauging her reaction before continuing. "So I settled with the only one that could provide more money faster,"

"Bella Swan, are you telling me you're a thief or an assassin? Because that is not what I raised you to be even though we needed the money, we didn't need it to jeopardize other people's future." She scolded.

"No mum, I'm not an assassin or a fu--thief," I rolled my eyes and considered maybe it just wasn't the best time to tell her. "Mum, you were sick. You were terribly ill and I thought you were going to die so I had to find a quick way,"

"Bella…"

And it was at that point, I needed to hit the nail on the head. I just needed to make it fast and quick, like a bullet driving straight through a person's heart. Even though the heat of the bullet would burn the person in excruciating pain, at least just after a few seconds, if you had hit the right spot, they'd be dead.

"I'm a prostitute," I said loudly and swallowed heavily. I had to say it in a louder tone because I really didn't want to repeat myself and I was hoping she didn't make me do it.

The two sets of glass plates she was holding landed with a loud clank as they hit the linoleum at the sound of my last word _'prostitute'_. She stood there frozen in shock and I began to wonder if a person could actually have a heart attack and just standing without falling to the ground.

"Mum, are you okay?" I rushed to her side, to make sure that at least she was still alive.

The room was deadly silent and I shook her hoping to wake her from her state. Streaks of tears began running down her cheeks as she turned her face to look at me. At first I thought I was going to see embarrassment or shame, I was hoping to see a flash of anger in her eyes and for her to start shouting or disowning me. Instead she just fell to the floor hard on her ass with her back resting on the cupboard.

"Mummy, please I know that I've disappointed you and this was not what you meant when you were talking about independence. I know that I should have probably searched harder and found something worth... I will understand if you don't want to talk to me for a while because you probably won't get past that every time you see me I'm a doormat for men to cross--"

My eyes were stinging with tears that I tried so hard not to let them fall. There was no fucking way that I should be crying now. This was my punishment. I did this, it was okay for her to be hurt and to feel lied to and betrayed. But there was no way I should even be having a meltdown especially when she was crying.

"I'm going to go--" I stood up briskly and wiped the stupid tears that had spilled on my cheeks.

"Wait," her voice sounded cracked and heavy with emotion as her hands encircled themselves around my left leg.

I turned back to look at her, her eyes were still watery and looked like they had been lost in a sea. She didn't look angry or even ashamed. She looked _defeated_ and I wasn't even sure which was worse.

I bent down and she took my head in my hands to look into my eyes. "I'm so sorry," she said and then a whole new fucking waterworks spilled out like a fountain as she placed my head on her chest rocking me slowly. "I have failed you." She whispered and it sent an echo of pain to drive through my chest. "I shouldn't have left you with this burden for you to carry alone. I should have tried really hard and suffered for you to take the next step to college. I shouldn't have been so dependent on Charlie," That was the first time his name had come out from her mouth since she got discharged.

And now I was making her blame herself.

"Mum, please it's not your fault. And even if I had to do it again, I'll do it all in a heartbeat because to see you here, healthy and alive is just so fu--much for me."

We sat for hours and talked the whole afternoon. I told her everything, everything about the brothel, about Aro and even about Edward. She was slightly angry that Aro wouldn't let me leave and she said that she was going to come and talk it out with him and beg him. I refused.

Aro was a dangerous man, my mother had just escaped death by a health illness, there was no way she was running to the devil that could send her straight to hell in a second. But Renee was stubborn and even though she agreed that she wouldn't say anything to him, I knew she was just trying to let it go for this moment.

I helped her finish cooking and we ate. I stayed till the evening while she gossiped about all the neighbors and their silly little stories running around. It was like watching fucking desperate housewives. And I enjoyed that shit because we were finally having some mother and daughter time without me thinking about if she was going to die any second.

She told me that I should not stay away from Edward and if he could do something to save me from Aro's clutches then I should allow him. And once again I refused.

Fucking hellhole, did she think I would serve the two most important people I loved into the dog pound? Once again, she let the matter rest and I prayed to God that she'd just fucking sit in this square inch home and make as much quesadillas as she wanted.

After a while I had to go back to the brothel and she fucking cried again because this time she knew that I wasn't going to any office and that I indeed had work to do. It took me thirty minutes to get her to stop crying before her body became tired and I decided to set her in for bed just like she used to do for me when I was little.

The things I did for her.

I continued gazing at the plant with so much animosity that if eyes could actually kill, it'd be dead by now. But of course since it's immortal, I guess that probably couldn't fucking happen.

"Bella, you have a visitor," Gianna opened the door and slanted it a bit to poke her head out.

"Okay, I'll be right out." I waved her off.

"It's not a customer, it's an actual visitor. She's here sitting in one of the rooms, the third one to be exact."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest as a thought that my mother had come to see me in this god forsaken place crossed my mind.

_She wouldn't, would she?_

After all I told her, if she had come here, I was going to kill her myself. What the fuck? It wasn't enough hearing that your daughter was living in a brothel, probably the dirtiest place in Forks but you just had to come and visit her also, to what? Give her cupcakes?

I tied my hair into a neat ponytail and put on clothes that were less vulgar or weren't displaying any of my assets. It was like when your mother came to school to visit you and you had to hide away your cigarettes so she wouldn't know you were smoking.

I walked slowly to the third room which was on the second floor, looking around and hoping that none of the girls had seen her come in. But this wasn't because I was embarrassed that she had come to visit me like people probably did in high school, this was because I didn't want any bitches clouding her mind with only God knows what evil they cooked up in this place. Or for any of them to actually go and tell Aro that she had come. I hadn't heard of any family members visiting the girls and I being the first was a huge disadvantage.

The door opened with a loud creak and since it was afternoon the room was bright with the sunshine that flittered into it. I closed the door expecting to see my mother's brown or slightly darker hair. I was astounded to see a woman who had a thick mass of blonde hair cascading over her strong broad shoulders and a beautiful Louis Vuitton bag sitting so comfortably on the floor.

The bag made the floor look so dirty and cheap.

_Rosalie. _

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I moved to the chair in front of her and took in her beautiful straight face. "This isn't a place for you, you know, you could actually get herpes in the air. And like isn't it too filthy for you to be in anyway?" I mocked and crossed my arms against my chest.

"I came to see you," she answered and then crossed her leg over the other showing off her expensive shoes.

"I bet. I must be dying today for you to come and see me, did God tell you it was my time already," I continued but she didn't appreciate the gesture. "Look, you people wanted me to leave Edward alone. I've left him. So why in Forks' disgusting places are you here? Want to ensure the deal Esme created has been sealed? Aro has banned me from seeing him, you can now move along."

"Wait what?" she asked me as her sculpted brows furrowed in confusion. "What deal did Esme make?"

I took in a deep breath and really just wanted her to get straight to the goddamn point of why she was here. "Why are you here?" I said in a clipped tone.

"Did Esme make a deal with Aro for you not to see Edward?" she pressed on and then I started cursing my damn mouth for spilling this information to her. She was weakening me, words were no longer my area of specialty and talking just bored the fuck out of me. I needed a cigarette.

"Yes," I replied in irritation. "Now could you please tell me why you're here? I'm a busy bitch and money is running as you're talking to me."

"My wedding is this weekend and you're invited." She slid the white envelope with a gold seal that was written in an elegant calligraphy script across the table.

"Why in the world would I come to your fucking wedding?" I slid it back to her in annoyance. The whole Cullen family just felt like torturing me. They were a bunch of confused motherfuckers. They said I should stay away from Edward and suddenly, they wanted me to be present at a wedding that he was most likely to attend.

"Because I invited you and I don't normally invite whores to my wedding," she hissed and slid it with an unnecessary amount of force back to me.

"You're right, whores aren't normally invited to weddings including prostitutes and sluts so I don't want to fucking go," I slid it back to her and she sighed, apparently tired of playing this little high school game of who can throw the bomb elsewhere.

"Bella, I know that we haven't met on the greatest terms being the fact that you are here," her eyes scaled the lines of the room in repugnance. "And I'm a very well known respected woman,"

"How dare you say shit to me in my own territory? I can pretty much whoop your ass ten ways and you'd be back at your fucked up palace with a fucking scar that says Bella on your forehead."

"Being a prostitute isn't an insult. It's just the plain truth. You chose this shit for yourself and now you'll relish in it. If you felt there was nothing wrong with it then why the fuck would you do it?"

"Look, you don't know anything about me. And I don't expect that you do considering the fact that everything you want has been giving to you on a platter of gold. Some people do actually work for what they have even though sometimes they don't get it," I said harshly, she was getting on my nerves and burning her with a cigarette ash seemed pretty inviting.

"I've worked to get where I am, I went to school, you know, the place that has teachers who teach you all these signs and symbols and how to use them in real life. I've worked hard for everything before I got it and I'm rewarded with just how much I worked. I worked hard on my relationship and now I'm getting married. You reap what you sew,"

"I've had enough!" I stood up, my blood was boiling to the maximum and about to start burning. "I don't want to go to your stupid wedding, you're right. I put a little seed in the back of my forsaken garden and got a really ripe fruit that your family friends ripped me off of. Well guess what it's not everything you sew you get. Sometimes the rich steal your fruits." I turned to walk away but was stopped by her flawless leg resting in my way.

"I'm sorry," her voice broke, which was pretty surprising because she was actually apologizing to me. "Please can you sit down?"

I sighed and walked back to my chair with a huff.

"I came here because Edward's depressed." She ran her perfectly manicured nails over the edges of the envelope.

"Well, who caused that? If his mother knows what's best for him, she should buy Prozac. She always seems to know everything,"

"I'm trying here, could you just listen to me?" her eyes flashed me an intense stare and I shrugged. "So Edward's really depressed and I don't know if he can ever be happy without you being there. His depression is getting to Emmett which is transferring to me. I love Emmett and we have been postponing this wedding for a long time now. I'm happily content that he is with me and I don't think he's ever going to be with anyone but me. But I want to carry his name you know. I want to be known as Mrs. Rosalie Cullen. I want to start making babies with him. I want our lives to be official and for us to start our forever. I love him and I'd do any fucking thing just to have him happy because each time I see him smile, he lights up this thing in my chest. And that might sound so fucking cliché but that's how I feel. Now this whole thing can't happen because Edward is not emotionally happy. I mean, he has agreed that he would do this for Emmett but I feel he wouldn't be completely happy without you being there. So if you go, you're happy and then he's happy and that makes Emmett happy which makes me pretty fucking joyous. Do you catch my drift?"

I nodded because after that huge speech I really didn't have any words or any witty response to give her. I had never heard her express her feelings toward Emmett and at that moment I was so happy that he was marrying her. Because under that selfish hard shell, was a very passionate woman who was deeply in love with her man.

"So, I'm asking you even if you don't want to do this for me. Do it for Edward just to see that crooked smile that has been so scarce lately. It will be the best wedding gift I'd ever receive from you and it doesn't even cost a dime,"

I laughed and almost felt my eyes water before I blurted out, "I don't have what to wear,"

"Already taken care of," she smiled and brought out a brown jacket cover that I supposed, was encasing a dress. "I had my designer pick this out for you, it's short and tasteful. It will make Edward's eyes pop out of his sockets and it's not too glamorous or anything so you won't be on the spotlight."

"What about Esme and Carlisle? Like I can't…they can't see me. And Aro can't know that I came to the wedding. How do you intend to..?" I collected the dress from her.

"Don't worry about that. Jasper, Alice and I have got that all under control. Well, I didn't know about the deal she made but I guess we can make another plan to keep them away all night. You should probably come for the reception which is at the house. The chapel is going to be consisted of a small group of people and I can't ensure that you wouldn't get caught. So the reception is fine." She placed a box which held beautiful diamond earrings in front of me as she stood up. "When you come, call me. Or Alice, I may be busy because well I'm the bride and I have to be available at all times."

"But Alice isn't talking to me,"

"She will. She's really sorry about whatever happened between you guys and she's planning to make it up to you whenever you're ready. Here's my number," she handed me a small business like card. "Thank you so much for doing this Bella; you don't know how happy you've made me. And I'm really sorry about what happened in the past." She said with a smile. "I'm going to go now and hopefully, I'll see you this Saturday," she picked up her handbag from the floor and walked out of the room.

I couldn't believe it.

I was going to Rosalie Hale's wedding and she invited me.

I was going to see Edward again.

The last thought made me smile like a huge idiot.

_~~**Saturday**~~ _

I stood there nervously behind a tree, and yes I hid behind a fucking tree, trying desperately not to come in contact with Esme, the queen of all witches in Forks and Carlisle, her darling dear husband. The whole evening was a rollercoaster of gloomy faces for Edward. Jasper had proposed and Edward looked like if he heard anymore proposals he would likely murder someone. It would be like two weddings and a funeral. Rosalie was right, if I hadn't come, he was most likely to commit suicide after tonight.

It still didn't change the fact that he looked stunningly gorgeous in his damn suit. And all the while Tanya kept on sending him looks throughout.

_She better be keeping her fucking eyes to herself and away from my man's goods. _

The party really got started when the bridal train carried on with their performance. I thought it was funny when they sprayed a heap of cash on the newlywed couple and I saw some people sighing and eyeing the stack of money on the floor, probably hoping they could get their hands on some of those dollar bills.

Emmett made me laugh with his horrible Michael Jackson impersonations. And his dance off between him and Rosalie almost made me fall on the ground in hysterics. My eyes trailed back to Edward who seemed to be having too many cocktails for the evening. I wanted to walk to meet him but I had to wait for the sign that it was okay by either Rosalie or Alice who seemed to be busy at the moment.

He looked so fucking sexy in that fucking suit. He looked like a gentleman, one of his hands were holding the glass while the other was shoved inside his pocket. I just wanted to strip him naked there and then. Just seeing him made me feel so content, even though it wasn't enough since I hadn't touched him, I felt happy. He looked like a normal human being compared to the last time I saw him at the brothel. That image had been burned to my memory and scarred to my brain cells.

A twinge of jealousy passed down my spine when I saw a beautiful brunette walking towards Edward and carrying him into the open field to dance. I watched them as she tried desperately to make him move but he seemed too dumbfounded at the way she was shaking her body and whining her ass in front of him.

"Oh stop being so stuck up Carl! You've always been this rigid kid since you were born and then medicine tightened the rope while your wife tied the knot," I heard the Nana's voice somewhere and knew they were close.

I wanted to move to another tree until I was sure that they weren't anywhere near me but I couldn't help but overhear what was being said.

"Mum, she's a prostitute. I'm doing the best for him. And we both know that if it was me in that situation you wouldn't have agreed." Carlisle said and I moved my eyes to see him downing another glass of champagne.

"First of all, I love all my sons equally. I've never loved one more than the other, same with my grandsons. It may seem that I favor Edward the most but that's only because I see myself in him sometimes. He has a strong mind. He stands on his own, he makes his own decisions. If something happens, he gets past it and moves on. He learns from his mistakes and he doesn't regret a thing. He loves this girl and he looks miserable without her, see him dancing, look at his body lines. Not even infectious Mia can pull him out of his misery. I've seen him drink more than a child should drink in a year that he has drank for months. You need to let them be. I didn't like Esme when you decided to marry her, I still don't like her now but I accepted it because it was your own decision. One day when you find out that she is not who you think she is, you'll remember what I said. But until then, she's still here."

Carlisle sighed and dropped his glass on the table. "I love my son and I will think about what you said. It's not going to be easy accepting her into this family and Esme is definitely going to throw a tantrum but I haven't spoken to him in a long time and I do miss him. I feel this is different than any quarrel we have and I don't want it to drive a wall between us, so I'll give it a try."

"And that is all I'm asking," The Nana replied.

I was so caught up in the discussion that was going on between the two of them that I didn't hear when Alice called me the first time until she stomped on my foot with her heel.

"Ow," my hands rubbed the place she had stomped on soothingly. "What the hell Alice?" I turned to her as I saw a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Bella, I missed you," she whispered and threw her arms around me in a tight hug. "Oh God, I never thought I was going to see you again. I'm so glad you came. My brother has been in his own world, just lost and moping around. I never thought you'd forgive me,"

"Alice," I breathed into her spiky hair that was entering both my mouth and my eyes. "I should be the one asking whether you have forgiven me,"

"Friends shouldn't quarrel for that long, I was just hurt and upset that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me," she sobbed, all the while her hands were slung on my neck, strangling me.

"Yes but we can overlook that now since you've forgiven me. Are we still bestfriends?" I squeaked.

"Always," she let go but still wrapped her hands around my waist.

I felt so relieved, like there was a huge burden lifted from me. I felt like I was on air, floating in its wings and just basking in sheer happiness. I had told my mother the heavy truth and I had repaired my relationship with my bestfriend. Not to talk of getting an invite from Rosalie, proving that we were in good terms.

"Okay as much as I would love to sit with you and chat and catch up on lost times, we have a plan in motion. As soon as _I gotta feeling _by Black eyed peas comes, you've got to go meet Edward. He's been dying and I thought even dances with his family would save him but apparently it's a lost cause. So get ready after Rose signals you to step in, join them. I'm going to keep Esme busy and don't worry about Tanya. Rose had a nice talk with her. Nana's keeping Carlisle busy so we're all good to go," she winked.

As I made my way into the ecstatic crowd, wine sticking on the small spikes of grass, my knees began to buckle and my heart began to do massive jumps. It was weird but suddenly a nervous feeling began to grow inside of me and then I considered if seeing him was even a good thing.

He had been cut and severely injured and his wound might have already been healing, so wouldn't seeing me just open a fresh one?

I couldn't even battle long enough to answer that question because Rose flashed me a wide smile as she slapped Edward and then winked at him before he turned around.

He stood there motionless and cleaned his eyes a few times, scanning me from head to toe and I couldn't stop the blush that flooded my cheeks as he ogled me.

_I'd have to thank Rose for the dress later on._

"What…" he stammered and I took his hands and placed them around my waist.

"Shhhsh. We'll talk after this song," I stopped him with an index finger planted on his soft lips.

We couldn't talk now; his hands that were wound around my waist were sending me these sensations that were making my eyes roll back into my head.

That was how much I had missed him.

Plus the fact that this song had become my best song ever since Rose said we'd be dancing to it.

I could feel him harden against me and his length become visible through his black pants as I ground my ass against him, waking him up. I tried to get closer to him in every possible way, to feel his body mesh with mine and become one as we continued dancing. I wanted my curves to fit in with his and memorize his structure so that when I was alone at night, they could know what it felt like to be in his arms.

He groaned as my breasts pushed against him and bent forward, his chest interlocked with my back and his crotch locked with my ass. "Are you trying to have sex with me here?" his voice sounded strained and I was satisfied that he hadn't done our sacred meeting with anyone yet.

_Oh if I could, I'd fuck you right here on this grass and we'd give an amazing show to everyone watching…_

…_And then Rosalie would probably scream her head off for ruining her wedding. _

_This was not the kind of meeting she had in mind when she said I should come._

"You missed me?" I asked, hoping that the answer was 'yes'.

Even though he seemed affected by my absence, he could have hated me.

"Hell yeah," he held my waist and I tightened my arms around his shoulders, admiring how I could feel his muscles strain as he moved his hands.

We conversed and laughed and I fought the urge to slap him when he kept on asking if I was real. Maybe if I slapped him and he felt that was real, he would actually stop being a buffoon and actually take me to be real.

I was glad when he said the brunette he danced with was his cousin, Mia, or Mya, Maya or what the fuck ever. As long as she wasn't into the whole incest shit, I really didn't care about her.

Rain drops blessed us and woke the bitch in Rosalie up as she deafened us with her loud screeching. Emmett either tried to comfort her or make a joke or frustrate her more as Jasper called the guests to the foyer.

I shuffled my way toward Emmett because I hadn't seen him all day and it was his damned wedding I was invited to, if I didn't say at least _'congratulations'_ I'd feel shitty.

I patted him on his shoulder. "Hey Emmett, I'm so happy for you and Rose, congratulations! Have a happy married life," I said as he enveloped me into a huge hug.

"Thank you so much for coming, you've made my brother very happy tonight." The crowd was pushing against us as he kissed my forehead. "I hope you two work it out,"

"Emmett, we've got to go," Rosalie shouted over the people as she stretched out her hands.

"Take care Bella," he took her hands and they made their way to the limo waiting for them outside.

I rushed back to Edward who was looking at me with his whole face lit up like the blinking lights on a Christmas tree.

"Stay with me tonight," he whispered and kissed my ears as my body molded into his.

"Fine but I can only stay the night; I've got to be back at the brothel. Could we go someplace else I'm tired of looking over my back if your mother is going to come and point a gun at me,"

He chuckled and then took my hand in his as we made our way to his car.

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**Now I know this chapter took long but at least it was good right? Things seem to be sunny at the end of the tunnel right now. Now, I'm hoping the next chapter would come in the next 2 or 3 days but I'm not sure.**

**Was it good? Was it worth the wait? Took me long to post this out for the fear of it not being good and of it being so fluffy. But I guess you guys can handle two happy chapters after a whole load of angst. **

**A little shout out to ash12234, bet you're really surprised about that. **

**Thanks again! C u next chap!**


	18. Numb

**A/N: And I'm back as I promised with your chapter. Um, Now I know I said I would include the letter in the previous chapter. It's in the next chapter because of how the whole story is coordinated. It will all make sense I promise. **

**Thanks once again for the reviews! I'm glad you guys enjoyed that chapter. However, for things to be good, they have to go bad first. Don't hate me please. This chapter is really short, actaully, it's the shortest I've ever written for a story. When you read the next one, it will make sense. So if you're slightly confused, it's okay. Thank you so much for reading. Enjoy! **

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NUMB

~*&*~

_2 weeks later_

I couldn't breathe, I seriously tried to get air into my lungs but nothing was happening. It was like everything was static, nothing moved.

I knew sweat was on my skin, I knew it drained my whole face but I couldn't feel it.

I couldn't hear a single thing around me and I tried to look around the hall or room whatever the hell I was in, but I really couldn't see anything.

I was numb.

I moved my legs in an attempt to at least feel something, I tried moving my hands also but unfortunately they felt like someone had dropped a huge anvil and crushed my bones.

I could hear the beating of my heart, it pounded so loudly in my ears that it kind of swallowed any other noise that could even be heard wherever I was.

_I need to fucking feel something, someone pinch me!_

I felt so trapped. It was like I was drowning, trying desperately to get to the surface but nothing I did was working.

It seemed like everything had stopped moving and it was all fixed just like the air.

I hated feeling helpless and not being in control.

Suddenly, I could feel the cold floor underneath me as the tiles pierced into my skin. I started to wonder whether I was naked to actually feel how freezing it was.

_Someone wake me up from this nightmare, please, _my insides cried out.

I tried once again to remove whatever was clouding my vision because everything seemed blurred and white like I was in a mental hospital.

And then a cloud of nothing enveloped me as my whole body shut down and escaped to a place where I could lock the pain away.

**

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HEIDI

I ran as fast as I could. I ran as if my life depended on it. I ran like I was being chased by a car which was out to kill me. I kept cursing my legs that they weren't fast enough and wishing that I was a four-legged animal or I had wheels as a substitute.

I turned to the corner of the building and ran past the people in white coats all looking at me like I was some sort of fucking psycho who had a escaped a mental institution.

I wasn't exactly sure what was happening, I didn't even know where I was running to, I just knew who I was looking for and hoping that everything would be alright. That everything was alright.

Some nurses tried to stop me but I was on speed mode so I didn't even stop to listen to the bullshit they had to say. This was a fucking emergency.

I turned around to the corner and finally found what I was looking for.

She was sitting on the floor with her two legs stretched out in front of her in a submission state, as if to say "take me".

I stopped and tried to steady my breathing which was coming out in loud pants.

Everything was racing in my body and I took some time to make them stroll and go in a slow pace.

Sweat rained over my face and I felt dead tired as I stumbled into the wall beside her.

"B," I shook her but she seemed to be in a trance. "B," I called out again but she couldn't hear me, it was like her body was here but her mind had drifted faraway.

I walked to the front of her and dropped directly in front of her face but she didn't moved. She just stayed fixed in a state. She seemed to be staring far off and a drop of tear fell from her left eye.

_Why is she crying?_

I looked frantically around for someone, anyone who could help me and tell me what the heck was going on.

_Where are those fucking nurses when you need them?_

"B, please you gotta tell me what's going on? What's the matter? Why are you crying?" I asked but she was un-phased by anything, like a rock that stood on the ground and didn't even move as a huge wave of water passed over it.

Like death…

"Are you and miss Swan related?" a doctor appeared with a stethoscope hanging around his neck and a binder in his left hand.

"Uh, no she's my friend," I managed to answer as he watched her carefully.

He checked for her pulse and then snapped a finger twice in front of her eyes but there was no response.

"Okay I'm afraid that she's in a state of shock right now, a few nurses would be out soon with a stretcher to carry her to a room until we can revive her," he said each word slowly like I was an imbecile.

"Wait," I shook my head, hoping to clear the confusion with the simple motion. "For what? Why?" I shouted because all of a sudden, the panic had set in fully and everything in my body began to race again.

"Because she's in shock," he answered, he lifted her left hand up but it fell to the floor.

"What do you fucking mean by she's in shock? What happened?"

"Her mother just died," he answered and then called for a few nurses.

And that's when the world stopped.

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**_Don't hate me..._till next chapter guys, not sure when...but soon. **


	19. Broken

**A/n: Oh guys did you see what I saw? I updated. Like for a whole five weeks I have let you hanging and I'm terribly sorry. Would you forgive me? I want to thank you all for your patience. I'm not sure who rec'd this story out because one day, I got a lot of alerts. But whoever did, thank you. Can you tell me so I can thank you personally?**

**Thank you for your reviews, alerts, favorites, and all the bunch of goodies my fanfic inbox sends to me. I'm entirely grateful. We are almost at the end guys, the story between this two is almost over...anyway, enough of my bullshit talk and on with the story. **

**Shoutout to Laurrrr cause she's amazing! So are all of you by the way, you're all friggin' amazing!**

**Song for this chapter – Broken by Seether and Amy Lee.

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_BROKEN_

I looked at Bella's face, our eyes locking for what seemed like eternity. We had quickly left the wedding reception and were now back in my house, actually in my bedroom, our own private unit with no disturbance. Alice wasn't around and to be fucking truthful, I didn't really care where the hell she was. I only cared about one woman right now and she was lying down under me.

Her hair was sprawled across the pillows and her chocolate eyes held my soft gaze. I was resting on my left elbow, which was pressing into the soft bed. My body was hovering over hers, our legs intertwined with each other while my right hand was on her face with my thumb grazing her lips. She would occasionally suck on it and my body would let out an involuntary moan.

I ducked my head into the crook of her neck and running my nose on the side of it, inhaling her glorious scent. I never wanted this fucking day to end. I didn't want to leave this room. I wanted to lock her here and keep her to myself forever, never having to face the laws that kept us apart outside.

I brought my lips to the side of her face and ravished her with soft kisses and whispering how beautiful she was. Her fingers played with my hair and the touch made me feel so relieved and happy. Just her fucking touch made me feel overjoyed.

"I love you," I said softly, still kissing her face. I knew she couldn't say it back and to be quite honest, I didn't say it to get something in return. I would take whatever she gave me, if it was enough to have her here to myself.

"I know," she replied and I thought I heard a touch of sadness in the answer but waved it off to the fact that maybe my mind really wanted to hear it.

My lips landed on hers gently before I ran my tongue over her lower lip. She moaned and then opened her mouth as our tongues collided. I felt like I was in heaven. A thrill shot up my spine as I continued to devour her, letting her feel all my senses. She reminded me why she was the only woman who could do this to me. She reminded me why I only wanted her to do this, that any other person would just be toleration. She was the ultimate woman for me.

She pulled her lips away from mine and looked up at me. "Edward," she murmured. "Make love to me," she said gently.

I had always made love to her every time we were intimate. I always tried to show her how special she was to me and how I didn't see her as a prostitute.

Her hands pulled her dress upwards and exposed her thighs to me. She continued dragging her dress all the way up to her stomach and finally over her head. I would have helped her but I was frozen just looking at her. Her hands found the buttons of my shirt and started undoing them. When she had finally taken the shirt off, she moved to my pants and took those off till I was stark naked.

"You leave me completely fucking bare in front of you and leave your underwear on?" I raised a brow at her and she smiled.

"I was going to remove it but then I decided to leave you to do that since I already stripped us both. Your hands weren't tied so you could have helped,"

My lips curved into a half smile and I slid my body down until I was facing her black thong. I kissed the exposed skin before using my teeth to scrape it off her body. She whimpered as my tongue swept her leg down to her face before enveloping her lips into a kiss.

"I need you to lie on your stomach," my voice echoed with desire and she looked at me slightly confused. "Just do it," I rolled my eyes and she turned over.

My lips danced on her spine from the curve of her ass to the point where the bra was hooked. My hands drew the curves on her side before unhooking the bra. I kissed the small hairs standing on the back of her neck and she quivered underneath me.

My dick was pressed into her back side and the movement of her body as I kissed her was making it grow harder. I turned her over to face me; her hair had covered her left eye and stuck to her lips. She looked so fucking sexy.

Her hands drove into my hair and massaged my scalp, tugging on the strands slightly and earning her a guttural moan. I ran my hands down her chin to her stomach, loving how her body had smooth curves.

I kissed her soft smooth skin all the way down to paradise. I gave it a light kiss and she whimpered and jerked her body at the feel of my lips. I smiled and kissed her again, watching her body thrash against the sheets. I flicked out my tongue to taste her juices and she released a strangled moan from her lips.

She tugged my hair a little bit roughly as I swept my tongue against her.

"I'm sorry," she said between hard breaths.

"Don't mention it," I smiled and then scooped all her juices into my mouth, relishing how all of it coated my tongue before gliding down my throat.

My tongue traced a path back to her mouth and opened her mouth before thrusting inside. She moaned and the sound went straight to my cock.

"Edward," she kissed, her hands roaming the side of my face, pulling me closer. She groaned inside my mouth as my cock hit her entrance. I pushed it in far deep as it could go and her head thrashed backwards to the headboard.

Her hands found the sheets and squeezed it in fists as I slammed into her harder than the first time. I lowered my head to her breasts, taking each one into my mouth and worshipping it with my tongue before biting softly.

I pounded into her again and she circled her legs around my waist and tried to turn us over so we were on our sides. The depth I was able to hit sent her aching away from and her body curving as she screamed her release.

My head fell to her neck and I bit it softly as I tried pushing in deeper into her and faster. Sweat covered my forehead and I rolled us over so she was lying on her back. I placed her left leg over my shoulder and thrust into her deeper.

"Fuckme!" she screamed incoherently as another wave of ecstasy consumed her.

"Thought I already was," I smiled and moved into her so I could hit her g-spot. Her body shattered when the tip of my cock touched her walls and they clenched all around my dick as I emptied myself into her.

I took a moment to rest and let her catch her breath. My hands caressed her soft breasts before I surprised her again, thrusting harder into her and pinching her clit so she came hard. I followed behind her and released into her before collapsing into the bed, feeling completely exhausted.

"Holy shit!" she panted, hugging me and wrapping the blankets around our sweaty bodies. "That was…" she exhaled a deep breath. "Amazing!" she finished, barely letting the words out of her throat.

"We should go shower but I'm so fucking tired," I said, rubbing her arms with my fingers.

My eyelids were already drifting close and my whole body felt weak and exhausted. I was spent. I kissed her forehead and was almost on my way to my dreams when she spoke again.

"Edward, how are we going to fight Aro?" She asked, tracing lines on my chest with my chin on top of her head.

I blinked a few times to make sure I hadn't already slept and was dreaming about her having this conversation.

"Fight Aro?" I asked, slightly puzzled and very happy.

"Yeah, I've been thinking that maybe I should leave the brothel. I know it's going to be futile and he won't agree but I want to try before I accept my doomed faith." She bit her lips and raised her head to look up at me.

"Hey, you're faith is not doomed." I raised her chin up to look at me. "We'll find a way so far you're ready. I'll find a way to get you out," I murmured, pressing my lips to her forehead.

"I don't want you to get hurt. Aro is pretty dangerous,"

"He can't do anything to me. If my death is tagged on him, my father would stop at nothing to take him down. Now don't worry yourself. We'll think of a way, I promise." I held her tighter. "Let's go to bed....goodnight Bella."

"Night Edward,"

***

_Dear Edward,_

_I know we've been through some things together that will make you feel like we have something strong. However, I have told you this before even if I have some feelings for you, we cannot act on it. I am a prostitute and you're whoever you are. _

_I've done a lot of things that are not pure which your mother thinks are degrading and disgusting and she's right. _

_My job would have strains on this relationship if we were ever to have one. _

_So now Edward, I'm going to ask you for a favor. I need you to leave me alone. If you wouldn't do it, do it and consider what you're doing to me if you continue. I'll get punished by Aro and he might decide to kill me, who knows? The guy is dangerous. Do you really want to kill me that way?_

_I need you to leave me alone if you love me. _

_If you love me, you'll continue your life and do what is expected of you. _

_I appreciate everything you've done for me, I truly do. But I cannot be with you._

_Take care of yourself, okay?_

_143, Bella._

Two weeks later

I was driving Alice to the salon to get her hair fixed because Jasper was busy. My mind kept on thinking back to the conversation Bella and I had the night of Rosalie's wedding. She hadn't really called but she had sent a few messages to check how I was doing. I was still basking in the whole idea of her wanting to leave Aro. I was sure it was a first start for us to have something other than a lustful relationship. I loved her and I knew she knew it. But I couldn't help but feel greedy because I wanted her to feel the same way about me too.

However, I was going to take things slowly. She wanted to get her chains off and I was going to find a way. After she was free, then maybe she would see that there was something more between us. Maybe she would be comfortable expressing it. I knew her life had a bunch of fucked up experiences but I was going to erase it. I was going to make her happy. My heart leapt at the thought of having her in my house. If she wanted to go to school, I would pay for her fees. I would take care of her in the best way. I would give her everything she never had. I would show her just how much I loved her and how different I was. Yes, this could be the start of something good.

I turned to the corner of the road as Alice got off the phone with Rosalie.

"How are they? Enjoying their honeymoon?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's having a splendid time. She's actually at the spa now, relaxing while Emmett is arranging some sort of surprise for her," Alice smiled, placing her phone back in her bag.

"Alice, can I ask you something?" I glanced at her for a second before turning my attention back to the road.

"Yeah, sure,"

"What does '143' mean?" I drummed my thumb on the steering wheel, slightly nervous that it meant something awful or bad.

Her eyebrows scrunched together in curiosity. "Who said it to you?"

"Why the hell must you know? Just tell me what the damn thing means," I hissed, my heart was already pounding at her hesitation.

"Well, then I'm not going to tell you!" she huffed, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Just say it!" I said in frustration.

"No!" she exclaimed and turned to face the window.

I took a deep breath and tried to appear calm. "Fine, Bella said it. Now please could you tell me what the hell it means instead of making me sit at the edge of my seat?"

"Aw! That's so adorable, when did she say it?" Alice bounced in her seat and turned to face me, her lips spread into a smile.

"Can you just fucking say it?" I ran a hand through my hair. Alice was annoying; I couldn't understand why she just couldn't get straight to the fucking point.

"Okay, it means …I love you." She said, smiling so hard I thought her face was going to burst.

I blinked twice before turning back to look at the road and avoid any accidents at the fact that Bella Swan had written she loved me at the end of the letter. The letter that also said she wanted nothing to do with me before she showed up for the wedding. Why would she say she didn't want me and still tell me she loved me?

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, _I_ stands for _1_. _Love _stands for _4_ and _You_ stands for _3_. Hence, _143_; It's like you're counting the words,"

"How do you know that it doesn't represent _'I Hate You'_. I mean, _Hate_ is four words after all." I said, really hoping that that wasn't true.

"Because Edward," she rolled her eyes. "That's what everyone normally defines it as. Didn't you hear that in high school?"

I shook my head and Alice's phone started ringing. She picked it up and started talking to someone leaving me to think. My head was still trying to process the fact that Bella had written that she loved me in the letter when earlier on I had been trying to think of how I could show her I loved her enough. I almost didn't believe it and part of me didn't want too. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them crushed. But the happiness swelling in my chest made that very hard to even discard it. She loved me. She had said so. If she hated me, she wouldn't have come to the wedding and still mentioned it again, sounding so happy. She loved me. She fucking loved me.

"Edward, your phone is ringing," Alice's voice brought me out of the blanket of my thoughts.

I picked it up and found Heidi on the screen and I smiled. Bella had been using Heidi's phone to send me messages so it wasn't surprising she was using it to call. I wasn't sure why she was using it but at least she was calling me.

"Hey Sweet thing, how–" I got cut off by Heidi's voice at the other end of the line.

_"Edward, I'm sorry for calling you but could you come down to the brothel quick?" _Her voice shook slightly and panic made my heart race.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, slowing down my driving speed.

_"Yes, I just need you to come down to the brothel quickly. It's Bella,"_ she said softly.

"Okay, I'll be right there. Just hang on." I cut the call and turned to face Alice's confused gaze. "I need to go and check up on Bella, can you take a taxi there? I'll come and pick you up when you're done. Just call me," I said, turning to the side of the road.

Alice nodded and picked up her bag and got down from the car. She told me to call her if anything was wrong and I agreed, speeding off to the other direction towards the brothel. I wasn't sure what was going on. A few scenarios filled my head and worry began to kick in. What if she and Aro got into a fight? What if she had told him that she loved me or that she was leaving him? What had he done to her?

_The son of a bitch, if he had laid a finger on her, I was going to crucify him. _

My blood started pounding as I parked recklessly by the corner of the building. I didn't even care about getting a speeding ticket at this point. All I cared about was in that brothel. I locked my car and ran to the entrance.

I passed the reception desk and a small boy tried to stop me, telling me that guests weren't allowed to their rooms. Well fuck that, I ran and turned to meet some girls laughing down the hallway. I had never been inside the brothel before and it appeared to be very big. I asked them if they could point me to Bella's room. I knew this was dangerous being here in almost broad daylight like this. First of all, Aro could find me and send his bodyguards to chase me. Or he could punish Bella. But I didn't care right now. I just needed to know she was safe.

The girls were a little bit surprised at first but gave me the directions on how to get to her room. I ran up the steps and turned on a few corners before I came in contact with the room. I was out of breath and I tried to catch it before knocking on the door. I knocked a few times before Heidi opened for me.

"Where the fuck is she?" I breezed past her and started searching the room until I met her figure leaning close to the window.

Heidi placed her hands on my shoulders to stop me before I took any further step toward her.

"Wait," she whispered. "You need to be in the right frame of mind to see her. You can't just go and appear disoriented." She hissed, closing the door.

"What happened to her?" I asked, my voice coming out louder than I had planned.  
I turned to face Bella but she didn't react. It was as if I hadn't said anything, like I wasn't there.

"Her mother has just died. She found out two days ago and she has locked down since then." Heidi whispered remorsefully.

"Why didn't you call me?" My eyes stayed on her form, wondering what she was staring at.

"I don't know. I wasn't sure how she'd react to you. You know she's a very private person and she normally doesn't allow people into her business. I only called you now because she hasn't spoken or eaten or moved from that spot since we came back from the hospital," Heidi appeared strong but I could see tears in her eyes. She looked tired and like she hadn't slept.

I didn't know much about Bella's past. She hadn't mentioned anything about her mother so I didn't know if they were close or what kind of relationship they had. Although, with the way she looked, I could guess they were close.

Heidi must have sensed my dilemma as she quickly spoke. "Bella's mother has been in the hospital for a while with some sort of heart problem. Bella never really talked about it but I think that was one of the reasons why she came to the brothel, to get money for the treatment. Her mother was discharged a couple of weeks, but two days ago she died. I don't know much about it. She just called me at the hospital and that was it. The doctor was the person who even told me. She's been like this since then, she hasn't moved," Heidi finished.

I felt like my heart had dropped down a few steps in my chest. She had never told me about her mother. I didn't know whether to be mad at that right now because the woman I loved was sitting down staring out the window, looking lost. I could have helped her. Damn it! I should have known. Why didn't she tell me? All this while she had talked about her past in bits, not once had she ever mentioned her mother. I didn't even think she had any parents.

She was in the brothel because she was trying to get money for her mother. That's why she couldn't leave. That's why she didn't want to leave. My heart clutched at the thought. I would have given her the money if she asked me. How could I have been so blind? So selfish, pursuing my own desires when I could have asked her. I could have asked her about her life, asked her about her past, about why she was in the brothel. I had avoided it because it seemed to bring her pain. I could have helped her.

_Fuck! I'm a stupid, stupid fool._

I claimed that I loved her and yet I wasn't even there to do my fucking job as a lover. I wasn't there to provide for her. I wasn't there to protect her. I wasn't there to help her. All those nightmares she always seemed to have now made sense. I thought it was because her mother was never in the picture and that's why she was so hurt.

_Damn me!_

I took a step forward slowly and leaned on the wall. She was hugging her knees, her face fixed on the window. I looked at the window but there was nothing there. She didn't even notice my presence. I felt slightly hurt but chastised myself. This wasn't about me. This was about her.

"Bella," I whispered softly, crouching close to her bed. I was a little frightened that if I attempted to touch her, she might flinch away. "Bella," I called again but she didn't answer.

She just seemed to be staring off. It was like she wasn't in the room with us, only her body. Like her soul and mind wasn't here. The image tugged at my chest and I tried to hold back.

_She can't be gone, she's still here. She's just…not here._

She looked so _broken_.

"_Sweet thing_, it's _Edward_. I need you to look at me _please,_" I pleaded, hoping that maybe she would glance at me but there was no response. "Bella, sweetheart, please look at me. I'm here. It's Edward." I tried again but it was futile.

I had to touch her. I didn't know if I was strong enough to touch her. What if she didn't want it? What would I do then?

_She needs you Edward, stop being a fucking coward and touch her._

My hands leapt out and gently touched her arm but she didn't move. She didn't even feel me. She was just fixed. I stood up slowly and sat on the bed. I opened my arms and brought her closer to me. She complied but didn't say anything. It was like I had moved a vase from its spot into my arms.

My hands caressed her arms and her neck, hoping that the skin to skin contact would bring her out of whatever it was that was trapping her.

"Do you need me to leave? I can give you guys some space," Heidi said awkwardly from behind me.

"It's okay; I'll take it from here." I replied, as Bella's body adjusted and she squeezed herself into my arms. "I'm here; I'll be here as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere." I rocked her and even though she wasn't responding, I was hoping that she heard me.

I held her tightly; my limbs were becoming numb because I had been in the same position for a long time. I watched through the window as the sun went down. She hadn't responded since I arrived, we just sat there as she stared through the window. It seemed like hours had passed.

Heidi knocked and came in with a plate of food and two glasses of water. She handed me the glass of water but I told her to place it on the bed stand. I wanted to try and feed Bella first before taking anything. My phone had vibrated a few times but I was afraid if I picked it up, Bella wouldn't be as comfortable as she was before. So I let it ring, I was sure it was Alice so I just planned to call her later on.

"Should I get you something to eat? I'm sorry. I should have asked." Heidi said, holding the plate as she stood beside me.

"No it's okay, I'm not hungry. Please could you come over this way and hand the plate to me?" I said, nudging my head to where I wanted her to stand. She stood in front of the bed and leaned over to give me the plate. I stretched my left hand a little and collected the plate from her, whispering a thank you.

She looked over to Bella before smiling sadly at me and leaving the room.

"Sweet love, I need you to eat. I know you won't talk to me. I know you don't want to move and I understand. But I really need you to eat," I said softly, brushing some strands of her hair with my chin.

I tried lifting the fork of pasta from the plate with my free hand and bringing it to her mouth but she didn't move. I dropped the fork down and placed the plate beside us on the bed. I tried a few more times but there was no response.

"I can't understand what you're going through. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. But if you need to talk, I'll be here." I kissed her forehead.

I didn't know what to do and for the first time I was angry at myself that I couldn't be more useful. I felt like I needed to do more for her. Her silence was killing me and also the fact that she didn't want to eat. I couldn't force her so I decided to give her some time.

Heidi came into the room at one point in time. I had fallen asleep but Bella was still in my arms, mute and still staring off into space.

"I don't know if you can do this or if she'll allow you but I think she should have a bath. She's almost going into the third day and…could you bathe her? You're the only, she's allowing to touch right now," Heidi said, holding a couple of white towels and looking down at her friend.

"Okay, would you run the bath while I'll see if I can make her? She refused to eat. Maybe you could keep the food in the fridge and microwave it for me to feed her later,"

Heidi nodded and stepped into the bathroom. She put the light on and I heard the sounds of the shower and saw steam coming out from the bathroom.

"Sweet love, I'll need you to take a shower. I know you won't eat but you've got to clean up, alright?" I said somewhat like a question and sounding really hopeful and praying she'd cooperate with me.

My legs were paining me in this position and she really needed to do something for me to know she was alive. To my surprise, she got up and pulled her blouse over her head before pulling off her jean. I held her hand and we both walked to the bathroom.

The bath tub was an 'okay sized' tub. Aro had at least tried to get a tub for them so I was happy. Heidi had mixed the water properly, so it was warm. She had poured some strawberry flavored shower gel into the water, leaving the bottle at the corner of the tub incase I needed it. She gave me Bella's sponge before leaving.

I took off my pants and shoes and sat down at the other end of the tub, still wearing my buttoned down shirt and boxers. I placed my feet inside the warm water, my legs trying to adjust to the feeling. Bella was already in the tub, her back resting in between my legs.

I bent down and added some shower gel to her sponge. I started scrubbing her neck, all the way to her shoulders, moving past her breasts. She sat motionless as I lathered the soap and continued scrubbing my way down. At some point, I had to enter the tub with my shirt and boxers to scrub her legs. My cock grew alive at the feel of her skin against mine.

When I finished washing her body off, I poured some shampoo into my hands. I rubbed my hands together before applying it to her hair. I scrubbed her scalp, allowing the water in the bath to drain out before rinsing her off.

I got out of the tub and wrapped her with her towel, drying her body. I took her to the room and found out Heidi placed two of my shirts on the bed with a tiny boy shorts for Bella to wear. I rubbed some cream on her body and dressed her up.

I had to go and change because my body was sticky and damp from being in the tub with her. Thankfully, there was a bar of soap so I did some cleaning up before changing into my pants and a shirt. I had to go commando because my boxers were wet.

When I got back to the room, Bella was lying on her side and facing the wall. I got into bed and pushed her body to me. Unfortunately due to my stupid fucking body reactions, when her ass ground against my cock, it hardened. I hissed and hoped that she didn't mind. The last thing I needed to be, was hard at a time like this.

I tried to adjust myself so she wouldn't feel it but at the same time hug her tight enough for her to sleep. I stayed awake even though my eye lids were trying hard to fight the sleep, I needed to be awake. At least until she slept.

I couldn't see her face because she was still facing the wall but I could hear through her breathing that she hadn't slept. So I stayed awake and held her in my arms, rubbing her arms and praying that she would come around soon.

She had to wake up soon, right?

* * *

**Well, I'm sorry it's not long enough but I hope it was an okay update. Not sure when I'll post but it should be soon. I'm hoping not five weeks though. I wrote a one shot for the 'Les Femmes Noires' contest and the 'In the Dark' contest called **_**Devange**_**. You can check it out if you want to read a dark Bella. **

**Aw! Was Edward loving in this chapter? **


	20. Anthem of the Angels

**A/N: Thank you SO much for your patience! I'm sorry for the delay. **

**Thanks to my wonderful, funny beta – Mrs. Boyscout for dealing with this. **

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Anthem of the Angels

Life is wicked. Life is selfish. It is unfair and it makes people suffer. It's consuming, sucks all your time, effort, energy, hard fucking work and gives you nothing in return. It makes you grovel. It pushes your limits and tests your abilities. It is hard and it is temporary.

Life is cruel but death is much, much worse.

Death just takes. It doesn't demand a thing from you; it doesn't think of you, it doesn't even give you a fucking chance to be happy. It just swallows and disappears. It leaves you with nothing. It is easier and permanent.

I hugged my knees tightly, trying desperately to find a comfortable position. I was trying to find a position to free me from this pain, this hole in my chest. I was squeezing into myself, as the feeling of emptiness flowed through my veins, the anguish tightening my nerves.

The memories of her lying on the floor, pale, empty…dead, flooded my mind like a tide. It was so unreal. I couldn't believe that she was gone, that she was dead. That she was no longer here. That she was no longer…

Death had visited and taken her away from me and I wasn't there. I had replayed it in my mind a thousand times, playing it like a broken record. What if I had showed up a day earlier? Some hours earlier? Perhaps some minutes…she might have still been alive?

I had denied the scene before me; I had assumed that she had fainted. I had denied the fact that she was lying helpless on the floor, with no life in her eyes. I had picked up her arm and watched it fall limply on the floor. I had called her over and over again. I had slapped her face to be wake her up because I was sure she was sleeping.

It took a minute for me to call the hospital and the ambulance rushed to pick her up. I had still been in denial, as I held her hands, following the stretcher that carried her body, and whispering that everything would be alright. I had whispered how much I loved her. I had whispered to her about my freedom, and how I was going to get it back. I had whispered to her about Edward. I had kissed her forehead as they separated us, ordering me to sit in the waiting room.

I had paced back and forth, praying she was alright. I wasn't religious and I knew this was the wrong time to start having faith but I needed help.

I hadn't had a chance with her. I hadn't showed her how much I had changed, how much life had taught me. She hadn't enjoyed life; she had just gotten out of the hospital. She hadn't fully recovered.

I hadn't enjoyed the fruit of my labor. I hadn't enjoyed the fruits of my sacrifice. I hadn't spent any fucking time with her. We hadn't had our functional mother and daughter relationship. We hadn't even talked about Edward that much. I hadn't told her how much he loved me. I hadn't told her about his family.

I hadn't told her anything.

I thought I had time. I was so sure I had time.

But death had taken it. It had already been to my door the night before. The doctors said she had been dead for ten hours. And I hadn't been there. I wasn't there to protect her. I was drinking and laughing with Heidi.

She had needed me and I hadn't been there.

Perhaps if I had come to visit her that weekend like she'd asked, I would have saved her. I could have gotten her to the hospital in time. And she could have lived. The doctors claimed that there was nothing I could have done. There was a rupture and it couldn't have been prevented.

And now she _was _gone; now I had to refer to her in the past tense.

She always _used to _cook delicious dishes for me. She always _welcomed _me with hugs and kisses when I got back from always _chastised_ me for cursing. She _was_ beautiful. She _was _smart. She _was _independent.

She _was dead._

That realization shot through me like a bullet. It created a hole in my heart. The echo of pain that drove through my chest and hit the valves made me feel empty. It shattered everything, everything I had built with my hands from scratch, everything I had suffered for, everything I had practically lived for. It had killed my lifeline. I was just a constant state of nothing.

I knew when Edward was here, I could feel him when he touched me the first time. I heard him when he called my name. I felt his love seep through his bones and radiate out to me when he consoled me. But he couldn't make this right. He couldn't make me feel happy. He couldn't cure me of this grief. He couldn't make this excruciating pain go away.

I didn't want to feel anything, not pain, not grief, not anger, not love. I didn't want to eat, drink, talk, or do any fucking thing but wait for the grief to kill me.

When he had asked me about taking a shower, I didn't want to do it and I certainly didn't know he was going to bathe me. But when I considered it further, I planned to just drown myself in the tub and take it all away. I had actually constructed how it would have worked in my brain. I get in the tub and run the amazing hot water. I'll feel it burn my skin and I'll cringe in pain, but I'll go all the way in. I'll submerge my body and then lie down and let the hot water burn my nostrils; and in a few minutes I'll be dead. But I'll die of torture first, because the heat would kill my outsides before killing my insides. It was that simple.

I wanted to drown my will to live.

But I couldn't do that, not with him here. I couldn't cause him the same pain I was feeling. I couldn't make him go through the same shit I was going through because he loved me.

I watched his chest rise and fall with his slow breathing. He didn't look comfortable in his sleep. His brows were knitted together and worry was etched all over his face. I was tempted to wake him up, but he needed rest. He needed to sleep for a while more before I woke him up. I curved into a fetal position, letting my mind consume his sight, distracting myself from thinking about…

His square jaw was so smooth; he had definitely shaved. His hair was a beautiful mess hovering over his face. His palms looked so soft, I imagined them on my skin every time he…

"Where is she?" Aro's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I always hated the hallway of this fucking brothel. You could practically hear everything behind your room door. I just wanted privacy right now and I didn't want anyone disturbing Edward from his sleep.

"Aro, you can't go in there," Heidi whispered, but was still quite loud. "I can't allow you,"

"Is he in there?" Aro's voice asked incredulously. "You allowed him to fucking sleep in my brothel? What does this look like? A fucking hotel?" his voice raised up a notch.

"I didn't know what to do. She wouldn't respond to me, so I called him. You know he's the only one she would listen to."

"Why the fuck didn't you call me? I'm the owner of this fucking place. She stays under my goddamn roof; you should have called me, to inform me!" his loud voice made Edward stir in his sleep.

I got up slowly and kissed his forehead before placing on a sweater. I opened the door gently and saw Heidi, Aro and Felix standing by it, looking surprised.

"If you fucking wake him up, lord fucking help me, there will be another grave," I sneered as Aro flinched backward in astonishment. "Lay just one finger on him, and trust me Aro, everyone in this town will know about all your fucking dealings – including your _wife_."

"Fine!" Aro belted out. "I need to see you in my office _now_!" He ordered me to follow him as he and Felix started walking toward his office.

Heidi shot me a sympathetic look and tried to ask if I was okay. I nodded toward her and walked behind Aro. The girls had flooded the edges of the hallway, standing by the room doors and watching as Aro Felix and I walked down toward his office. Jessica tried to smile at me warily as I passed. Angela whispered how much she was sorry about Renee. Victoria gave me a slight nod, which felt more comforting than the pity written all over Irina, Claire and Lauren's faces.

We finally finished the walk of shame, or whatever it was, to Aro's office and Demetri shut the door behind us.

This was the first time in all the years I had spent at the brothel that I didn't feel fear in his presence. Normally, I would be afraid of the guns or Aro's calm demeanor but not today. Today, I felt nothing. I didn't care if he wanted to kill me or punish me or fire me. He couldn't do anything that would compare to the pain that was in my heart. I was immune to him. I just folded my arms and stood there; waiting to hear the shit he had to say.

"Isabella," he started his normal approach, sitting down on his chair and placing his leg on the table. "I am terribly sorry for your loss."

I hated when people said that. _Sorry_. Or maybe I just hated him saying it when he didn't appear to be _sorry._

"I know that this is a difficult time for you and it would be tough for you to get by, seeing as you've lost your…" he swallowed. "Your family."

_Mother_ would have sufficed. It probably would have sounded a whole lot better than family. _Family_, made the whole thing sound tragic.

"So I've decided to give you a break to grieve. Like about a month or two or three. After the burial and after you've regained yourself and moved on from this tragedy, you can resume work." He said with an air of finality.

I looked at Aro. I looked into his eyes for the first time. I really looked at him. He used to seem so strong to me, so invincible; the more I looked, the more fragile he seemed. His hands which seemed so strong, I now realized I could probably snap each single fucking digit of his hand and enjoy it. He was twisting his neck, appearing to be uncomfortable under my scrutinizing gaze.

Aro was such a stupid fucking asshole. He thought the world revolved around him, that women should bow at his feet for his mere presence. He thought he owned me. The deal was off. My mother was _dead. _She was the reason for this agreement. She no longer was in the picture, so there was no reason to work here anymore.

I was done.

We were through.

The contract was unnecessary now.

"Do you have a problem with this arrangement Isabella? You seem to be fighting with yourself," he said with a calm demeanor.

"Fuck you!" I spat in disgust as his eyes opened wide in bewilderment.

He couldn't believe that I was talking back at him rudely. I wasn't placing him on a pedestal stone anymore. He was no longer riding a horse, with me cleaning his fucking shoes. We were on the same level.

"I'm sure I didn't hear you correctly, Miss Swan." His voice had a rough sharp edge to it. He seemed to not be appreciating my attitude.

"Well, I think you heard me. I said _fuck you_. As in F-U-C-K you, Aro Volturi. Fuck you!" I let my words wrap around his mind as the shock on his face disintegrated to that of anger.

"You're upset. You just lost your mother. You don't know what you're saying,"

"Look, the deal is off. The contract is done. I will no longer be working for you. The only reason why I was doing this shit was because of her. She's gone. No deal."

"Isabella, you are getting on my nerves," he smiled cynically. "Leave my office. Get rest. Get over it. Then come back when I want you to come back."

I spat on his desk and walked out of his office. He ordered Demetri not to follow me and I was glad because I didn't have the energy for a fight, nor could I fight a man. I was riding my high horse now. I slipped back into my room quietly but didn't find Edward lying on the bed anymore.

I wondered where he could have gone to as I changed my clothes. I picked up my phone from my bag and checked to see a number of missed calls from Edward, the hospital and Laurent.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward's voice shocked me, almost making my phone slip from my hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded, turning the phone off and facing him.

A smile lit up his face at the fact that I had responded to him.

"Bella, I'm here for you and I–"

"Edward, can you drive me to the hospital?" I cut him off. I wasn't ready to get sentimental just yet.

"Yeah, sure."

***

I walked down the hallways, turning into the waiting section of the hospital. I hated hospitals; they smelt like medicines, sicknesses and death. Patients were moving around pushing their IV drip poles. Families were sitting by the bedsides of their loved ones, watching them eat and hoping they get better. And when the patient died, the room would be cleaned for another patient. It was all very sickening.

Edward hadn't said a word to me on the way to the hospital and I was grateful for the silence. I didn't want to talk about anything or even think. Everything felt surreal; I had a hard time accepting that she was…

"Bella," Dr. Laurent tried to smile as he ushered me and Edward into his office. "I didn't know you'd be bringing somebody with you. Hello Mr. Cullen, please have a seat,"

A man dressed into a clean black suit sat in one of the chairs in front of Laurent's desk while I took the chair beside him. Edward took a seat on the couch beside the door.

"Bella, please meet Mr. Peterson," Laurent gestured to the man beside me. "He's a lawyer, actually your mother's lawyer, and he's here to give instructions on her funeral and her will,"

I was surprised; I hadn't known that Renee had a lawyer. But of course she had to have one, especially during the divorce that happened between her and Charlie.

"Hello Bella," Mr. Peterson smiled, shaking my hand firmly before taking out his glasses and sliding them on to his face. "So would you like to do this in private or do you want him here?" he asked, his eyes pointing to Edward.

"Uh, I can leave," Edward said, standing up.

"No, I want him to stay," I replied, stretching my hand out to hold his.

Mr. Peterson picked up his suitcase and got out a folder from it. He opened it and placed a few papers on the desk.

"Your mother was a very kind woman, Miss Swan. I am so sorry to see her go," he said with compassion, glancing at me before shuffling his papers.

I ignored his statement as I knew that everyone was going to be sorry that this happened to me. I didn't want 'sorry' and what I wanted they couldn't give me.

"Renee wrote her will a few years back and she insisted that when she died, your father, Charlie should be invited for the funeral." He placed his two hands together as I stared at him in shock.

"I'm sorry, what?" I shook my head, hoping the air of confusion would dilute and give me a clear understand of what exactly he was saying.

"Renee wanted her ex-husband, Charlie Swan to be present at the funeral. There is going to be one right?"

"Why the fuck would she want that?" I stood up, sending my chair backwards.

"Bella calm down," Laurent said.

Edward rubbed the back of my palm soothingly while I ran my free hand through my hair.

"He is your father; you can't deny him an invitation to the funeral. He needs to know," Laurent said calmly.

"How the fuck can you say that?" I shouted. "He left us! He was never here. He didn't even know about her condition. He didn't care and you want him to be at the funeral? He has no right!"

"He has every right Bella; it is your mother's wish." Mr. Peterson said firmly. "I know the divorce must have been difficult for you both but she did love him and she has requested this."

"Where the fuck do you come here and start telling me what she has and hasn't requested? Where were you when she was dying? Where were you when we needed the money for the surgery? Huh?" I barked at him as he sat down calmly in his chair.

"Bella, please calm down. You shouldn't get worked up over this. We have other things to sort out first. Now I know this is difficult but you have to go with it. I was her doctor and she told me that she would want Charlie there. Now if he refuses to show up, that's a different case – but we have to inform him." Laurent explained.

I sat down back in my chair, the anger still rolling off from my body. Why would she want him there? She must have known that he didn't care for her. If he did, he would have known she was sick in the first place.

"She wrote a letter to him, which I will send once I can get a hold of his address. I have it here with the will. I was just letting you know so it won't take you by surprise when you see him there," Mr. Peterson said. "She also left a letter for you and a few things which she wrote in her will. You would be receiving the house and the money that was stored in her bank account."

"What money?" I looked up to him in confusion.

"Well," Mr. Peterson removed his glasses, rubbed his eyes and placed them back on. He brought his hands back together, as if he was buying time or trying to avoid the topic. "Your mother has some money in her account that she willed to you."

"Yes, you've said that. How much fucking money are we talking about?" I scowled due to my impatience.

"Eighty thousand dollars," Mr. Peterson sighed.

_What? _

_Wait, WHAT?_

"What the fuck?" I almost stood up from my chair. "I'm sorry, maybe we are not fucking talking about the same Renee here. The woman who was my mother and who was sick had eighty thousand dollars in her fucking account? Who put eighty grand in her account?"

"Yes. Your grandparents provided the money. Now wait," he held up his hand to pause my questioning. "When your mother met Charlie, they didn't approve of him, because they had someone else they wanted her to marry. She refused of course and married Charlie. So she left them and lost contact with them. Later on, she made a call to me, asking me to talk to them and let them know she was sick. Her father was devastated and he and her mother sent eighty thousand to take care of her health costs and any other expenses.

That was the first time she had contacted them since Charlie left. She wanted to use the money for the surgery at first, but when she figured that you had a possibility of making the money, she didn't. Then she wanted to return it back to them but they wouldn't take it back. So she placed it in an account so that if anything happened to her, you would have something to bounce back on." Mr. Peterson finished.

My mind seemed to be paralyzed at this information. Surely, this couldn't have been possible. I had never met or heard about my grandparents before; she never mentioned anything about them.

"_You can't leave me Charlie, I left everything for you" my mother cried as she followed him down the stairs._

"_I'm so sorry. I have failed you. __I shouldn't have left you with this burden for you to carry alone. I should have tried really hard and suffered for you to take the next step to college. I shouldn't have been so dependent on Charlie,"_

Her words rang in my head as I placed my head into my hands as a pool of tears formed in my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She had had the money all along. I had suffered for nothing. If I had told her that I was going to be a prostitute, perhaps she would have used the money from her parents instead and she'd still be alive.

Had she always known that she was going to die?

We'd had money all along – money that could have been the ultimate cure for her problem in the beginning.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's comforting voice as he carried me and placed me on his lap. "It's okay, sweet thing," he rocked me slowly.

"I know this news is a lot to take in Bella, but we have to start making arrangements for the burial. Her body can only stay in the morgue for a certain amount of days," Laurent said calmly.

I looked at both men. "What do you want me to do?"

"Cremation or a burial?" Mr. Peterson asked, sympathy glowing his eyes.

"Burial," I answered softly.

"I'll make the call to the funeral home then," Mr. Peterson said, standing up.

***

I felt like I was trapped in a dream; a dream that included a mass of people wearing black, holding a bunch of flowers and standing in a cemetery. I sat in the front seat of Edward's car and watched. I had told him I just needed a minute, but really I needed to get out of there. I could barely hold it together when I had seen her polished brown casket. Now that I had money from nowhere, I could afford to buy her an expensive coffin. I could afford to buy her so many things now she was gone.

I hadn't cried and let out all the pain yet. I succumbed to the numbness that accompanied me as soon as I started the burial arrangements. Edward kept on assuring me that he was here if I needed to talk. I nodded but didn't talk. I hated the disappointment that flickered over his face when he knew I wasn't going to confide in him.

Alice had tried to be there but she didn't know what to say to someone who had lost someone, especially when she hadn't. She did pick out what I wore to the funeral though.

I looked back to her gravesite. I had thought I would have just the priest, Edward, Heidi and Alice for the burial. I hadn't even thought Alice would show but she came and so did Jasper. However, there were a few more people added to that list. Jessica came to show her sympathy or some other fucking feeling that I wasn't sure of. Angela made it, and surprisingly Lauren followed. Then again Lauren and Jessica were Siamese twins, where one went, the other followed. Victoria came, her eyes hidden under her black sunglasses. Aro sent Felix to come in his place. Laurent and Mr. Peterson also were present. And if I didn't think it was against the etiquette of funerals, I would have said that Laurent was looking at Heidi in a very strange, but interested way. This could have been wrong though, maybe he was just repulsed by the amount of prostitutes at a funeral.

I couldn't fucking care less.

"Hey," Alice smiled warmly at me as I moved my gaze from my black painted nails to her face.

"Hey yourself," I replied with a smile.

"So funerals need like more colors. The black makes everyone feel too depressed," she said, leaning on the side of the car.

I looked at her for a few good seconds before bursting into laughter. I wasn't sure why I was laughing. I looked at the small crowd and tried to picture all of them in colors and just sent me into another fit of laughter. Alice was laughing too when she saw me, and both of us laughed for a while before I started gasping for breath.

I swallowed as I saw a red Mercedes Benz drive toward where Edward's car was packed. A young lady wearing a red hat came down from the car. I couldn't exactly see her but as soon as I saw the man come down from the driver's seat, a hiss slipped from my mouth.

As if on cue, Edward walked toward me and squatted in front of me.

He kissed my hand like a gentleman and looked at me with warmth swimming in his green eyes. "You promised me to be on best behavior," he warned as Charlie Swan walked toward the crowd. "For me," he added.

I nodded, slipping my fingers into his palm as he pulled me up. Alice, Edward and I walked back to the crowd as people started dumping their bouquet of flowers close to the gravestone.

Most of them didn't actually know my mother and so they didn't have anything to say. They just walked up, dropped their flowers and walked back. Heidi dropped a single red rose and kissed the gravestone which brought my attention to it.

I hadn't inscribed anything glamorous on it. It was granite and said 'In loving memory of Renee Dwyer.' Charlie looked at me for a good couple of minutes while I glared back.

He walked toward her resting place and said a few words that I had blocked my ears from hearing. As far as I was concerned he wasn't supposed to be here, so in my mind, he wasn't here.

The service was quicker than I expected. Everyone paid their respects before they each diverted to their destinations. Charlie tried to talk to me but Edward blocked him, insisting that I wasn't ready yet. They had a short conversation before Charlie left. I guessed he told Edward that he would come back and have a talk with me.

When everyone was out of sight, Edward walked toward me and asked, "I'm going to wait in the car and when you're ready, we can go home," he smiled and then kissed my forehead.

I watched him walk to the car and shut the door before I sat down in front of the gravestone, my legs crossing each other.

"So, uh, I'm supposed to just fucking talk?" I asked out loud, and then laughed at my stupidity. "Mom, why the fuck didn't you tell me that you had eighty thousand dollars?" I asked with annoyance. "Did you fucking know that you were going to die?"

The wind got colder as it whipped my hair.

"I know you always said I had a vulgar mouth, I'm sorry it comes with working at a brothel. If you had to live there, you'd be cursing like a sailor too; so don't judge me." I twisted my fingers against my black dress.

"Edward's nice…" I trailed off, looking toward the direction of the car. "He's actually pretty fucking hot too. Sorry," I muttered at my curse word. "He's been so kind and patient with me but I don't know…" I bit my lips. "I just…it's too much to bear. This pain inside, I can't take it." I said as tracks of tears ran down my cheeks. "I just can't believe you're gone." I gasped. "I mean, you're gone." I tried to wipe my face and stop myself from crying but I couldn't.

I was sitting at her gravesite.

I was looking at her bare, granite gravestone.

There were so many flowers on it.

I was wearing a black dress.

I had just buried my mother.

I dropped my head toward my lap and I cried. I let it all out, the pain, the hurt, the surprise – all of it glided down as tears on my face. I had no choice, but to let it go because she was already gone.

So I continued crying.

**

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Let me know what you think

**Oh, I uh, have a short story up called 'A Tangled Web', you can check it out. **


	21. Flying with Broken Wings

**Mrs. Boyscout is my soul mate. It is true. We are one and the same. **

**Twilight is not mine. And the content is this chapter is pretty sensitive, you're warned.**

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_**Flying with Broken Wings**

I sat in Edward's living room, drinking the hot cup of coffee he made for me, with my eyes fixed on the man who claimed to be my father. Chief Swan seemed to be very uncomfortable under my gaze. He squirmed in his seat, rubbed the back of his neck and coughed a few times as we sat in silence. The situation seemed reversed, as if I was a cop interrogating a criminal.

"So, uh, maybe I should go upstairs and leave the two of you to catch up on old times," Edward said, patting my lap and attempting to stand up.

My hand closed around his wrist and my eyes narrowed at him, silently telling him not to go anywhere. He was the one who had convinced me to sit down and have a meeting with Charlie. There was no way I was letting him leave when he put me in this predicament.

"Or I could just stay and watch you two say absolutely nothing because I have nothing else to do." Edward swallowed loudly and relaxed back into the chair.

The three of us resumed back to our silence. The tension in the air was palpable, and everyone seemed to be breathing loudly. I stared at Charlie; Edward pretended to bite his nails in anticipation of an actual conversation happening, and Charlie continued shifting in his seat, trying to get free from the silent prison.

It was wonderful. I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling discomfort. Charlie's uneasiness made me feel happy because that was exactly how I wanted him to feel.

"Bells–," Charlie finally mustered up the courage to cultivate a conversation, but I interrupted before he could go further.

"Don't call me that," I hissed ferociously, causing Edward to wince beside me. "You have no right to call me that. In fact, you have no right to show yourself at my mother's burial. You have no right to even talk to me."

Edward's fingers sketched invincible circles on the back of my hand, and I knew he was trying to weave calm into my body, but my temper was having a problem deflating.

"I know I haven't been the best father to you," Charlie continued.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, Charlie," I laughed cruelly. "You've never been a father to me at all. You haven't even tried."

Charlie's eyes finally flickered to mine and an expression crossed his face. "What would you have wanted me to do? Renee wouldn't allow me contact you."

"How typical, blaming this on someone who's dead. All because you count on the fact that she's not fucking here to defend herself," I barked.

"Don't swear at me," Charlie commanded.

"I will do whatever the fuck I want. You have no fucking control over me. As a matter of fact, you have no input in my fucking life to tell me to not fucking curse at you."

"Maybe I can't do this now," Charlie said, standing up.

"Ah, the most reliable trait you seem to possess – running away from your problems. I wonder, do you also run when it is your job to catch criminals? I mean, you can't do your job as a father, I'm just wondering how the cop job is going for you."

"I loved your mother, you know. I loved her and I thought she betrayed me." He turned to me swiftly.

"Don't you dare talk about her! Don't you even dare put this on her. She suffered for me, while you were fucking enjoying yourself with red-hair," I said, not even caring to remember his wife's name. "She was the only parent I had. I was there when you left, when you two had that fight. I was under the staircase. I heard everything."

"You were young, you couldn't have understood."

"I was seven, I was not fucking stupid," I snapped in annoyance. "She left everything for you and you abandoned her. You abandoned us like we meant nothing to you."

"I'm sorry," Charlie fell back into the chair and placed his hands on his head. "I was angry that day. I didn't…I wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't in the right state of mind."

"Thanks for telling me this. Now I know that whenever you're not in the right state of mind, I should expect you to run away."

"Phil told me he slept with her."

I blinked back in surprise as his words seeped into my ears. At the sound of the name, my body shivered and I became paralyzed with fear as memories that accompanied Uncle Phil flooded my head. My eyes, on instinct, began to well. Edward noticed the change in my body and placed my head on his chest, holding me tightly as if he could protect me from the images in my head.

I was shocked that even though he was no longer here, his name could still threaten my senses.

"Shh, Bella, it's alright." Edward weaved his fingers through my hair in an attempt to soothe me.

Charlie waited for me to recuperate, looking at me curiously before he asked. "What is it that you're not telling me, Bella?"

"There are many things you don't know, Charlie," I replied icily, carefully extracting myself from Edward's arms. I walked toward the window and stared off at the pedestrians crossing the road. "Uncle Phil was just a pedophile; that's all." I cast him a smile and wrapped my arms around myself.

I tried to appear calm as if saying his name didn't rattle every bone in my body.

"What do you mean?" Charlie walked toward me cautiously. "Did he– did he– did he do anything to you?" he stammered and I looked at the guilt and horror that resided in his eyes.

"Something that a child, at that tender age, shouldn't have even seen adults doing," I stared at the depths of his grey eyes. "He didn't rape me if that's what you're asking, but then he wasn't provided with the time to do that. So he did other things instead."

"My God!" Charlie exclaimed and took a step closer to me. I assumed it was so that he could give me a hug and comfort me, but I stepped back, out of his reach. I didn't want to give him the benefit of feeling sympathetic toward me. I didn't want his fucking comfort. And besides, it was in the past.

All horrific experiences were in the past, and they were banished at the back of my mind.

"If that idiot isn't dead, I am going to kill him. It just makes me sick. God, as a cop, I see this kind of thing…but I never thought…" Charlie trailed off, running his hand through his hair and taking deep breaths. "I am so sorry, Bella. I didn't know. The bastard told me that he and Renee slept together," he continued, completely outraged. "And I believed him because she became very suspicious. She was always taking phone calls from an unidentifiable number, spending so much time at work all of a sudden. Then finally, one night I followed her and saw her enter Phil's house. When she came back, I asked her where she went to, but she lied. And because of that lie, I concluded that he was telling the truth. We started fighting, mainly because I no longer trusted anything she said. Finally, I decided I couldn't take it any longer, and I left."

Charlie sighed. "Phil's wife called me a week after I had left. She told me that she and her husband were having problems that she couldn't tell me about. So she asked for Renee's help, but specifically told her not to tell me. I called your mother to apologize. However, she said that she wanted a divorce. She said that I couldn't trust her and that ingredient was a recipe for disaster in a marriage. I begged her, but she refused. So I gave her the divorce."

"I wanted to come and take you, but she made sure that all contacts I had to you were cut off. She said she thought it was better that way. And soon, I just…I gave up," Charlie admitted sadly.

He sat on the armrest of one of the chairs close to him. "You were a child and I didn't think you'd understand."

I was so shocked at what Charlie had said, that I had to take a few seconds to sink in the information and then recover. There was so much Renee didn't tell me that I wasn't even sure what to believe. But then I detected that there was a hint of truth in what Charlie was saying because Renee had requested his presence at the burial.

"You could have still fought to see me if you wanted to," my voice sounded thick, and it was then I realized that tears had rolled down my face. I wiped my cheeks furiously. "You could have tried. She loved you. She was just hurt. She never forgot you, even after all those years. Maybe it's because you were unwilling to put effort in making her forgive you, that's why she cut you from her life."

Charlie swallowed, and I assumed he had nothing else to defend himself with. "I know I failed you. I know you hate me. I know that I can never make up for what I've done, but I want to do something. I want you to forgive me. Renee never did and now she's gone and–"

"You're doing this for your conscience?" I spat, revolted.

"No, I'm not," Charlie replied. "I just want to try and be there for you. I missed out so much of your life and I want to make up for it. I know it must have been difficult for you, and I want to…I just want to try and make it right."

I looked at him and saw sincerity and sadness in his face. However, it was not going to be that fucking easy for me to forgive him, considering the fact that he fled from us easily.

My eyes flickered to Edward, who watched me with loving eyes.

"I'll try, but I make no promises," I said, switching my gaze to Charlie.

A faint smile tugged his lips as he nodded. "That's all I'm asking."

~–&–~

I spat out the toothpaste in my mouth and looked at Edward in the mirror. "I said I would try to forgive him." I pressed a cold hand to my forehead. "Why do I have to be the one to go to his house? Shouldn't he be the one coming here to prove that he's trying to be my father?"

"Oh, so you do acknowledge the fact that he's your father and not just some guy who showed up for your mom's funeral?" Edward smirked, folding his hand against his chest and looking at me.

I glared at his reflection in the mirror. "He is still some guy who showed up for my mom's funeral. He's still Chief Swan."

"For now," Edward replied, removing what I could only assume was dirt from his nails. "Besides, he is going to help us get you out of that devil's contract and finally out of that hellhole.

Meeting his wife and daughter is a small price to pay."

"Doesn't change the fact that I hate that woman," I said, rinsing my toothbrush.

"Come on, sweets, you don't even know her."

"I know that she likes wearing sunglasses even when there's not much sun."

Edward closed the distance between us, encircling his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulders. "It's just dinner," he kissed my shoulder.

"How hard could it be?"

"Easy for you to say," I said, closing my eyes as his mouth planted kisses on the curve of my neck.

"I'll be right with you, holding your hand. Besides it can't be worse than any of my family dinners," he whispered.

"Dear lord, nothing can be fucking worse than Esme," I chuckled. "She's going to shit a brick once she finds out we're back together."

"She'll get over it because you're not going anywhere."

Before I could blink or say another word, Edward swiveled me to face him and carried me, placing my ass on the edge of the sink and wrapping my legs around his waist. I gasped in surprise as his mouth kissed my collarbone and my chest. He slid the straps of my night gown down my arms to expose my breasts. His finger brushed my nipple, springing it to life before dipping his head to it.

Wet and hot, his tongue licked circles around my nipple. I moaned when I felt his teeth graze against it, and my hands dug into his hair as he ravished it delightfully with his mouth. The nightgown I was wearing, now sagged down and rested on my hips, leaving my breasts at his mercy.

Tightening his hands on my waist, Edward pulled me fiercely against him, crushing my breasts to his chest, and kissed me. I curled my hands around his neck as his tongue delved deeper into my mouth, colliding with my tongue in a delicious dance.

He moaned into my mouth and rubbed his erection against my center. The friction created a sensation that felt like I had butterflies in my stomach.

"Perhaps, we should skip dinner and just have sex. This is so much better," I said. He encircled my legs around his waist and carried me toward the bed.

"We'll have a quickie," Edward smiled, removing the buckle of his jeans, and then quickly sliding my underwear down my legs.

An hour and thirty minutes later, we arrived at the apartment Charlie was staying at. I combed my hair with my fingers and wiped away the lipstick that was smudged on Edward's face before knocking on the door.

"Bella, I'm so glad to see you," Charlie swung the door open with an enthusiastic smile on his face that was covered halfway by his mustache.

"Uh, yeah," I bit my lip, not knowing what to say.

"Edward," he nodded and Edward replied with a nod.

A few awkward seconds passed by before he ushered me and Edward inside. The apartment was nice and cozy. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a small place that I guess could pass as a dining room.

The entire apartment smelt of the food his wife –Elizabeth– was cooking in the kitchen. A small girl, who had the same color as me, ran toward Charlie, holding a door and demanding his attention by tugging on his pants as he took us to the living room.

"This is Emily," he carried her up and turned her shy face to meet mine. "Emily, this is your sister, Bella,"

It took me a few seconds for me to snap out of my daze and talk to her. I was struck by her familiar features. She looked so much like Charlie, but she had these pair of deep blue eyes that chilled me to the bone. She looked so beautiful for a six year old girl.

"Hi Emily," I said, smiling at her. "You are so pretty," I complimented and she responded in true Swan fashion by blushing and hiding her face in Charlie's neck. "She is so cute," my smile expanded at her display of shyness.

The sound of a throat clearing caused me to remove my eyes from the innocent beauty and gaze at her mother. Mrs. Elizabeth Swan stood by the kitchen door in a modest blue dress that fell to her knees. She didn't even smile.

So much for making a good first impression, I thought sarcastically.

Charlie put Emily down and moved to his wife's side. I felt like I was betraying my mother as I stood in their presence. He had a whole different family, and it was a bit overwhelming meeting both members of it. I felt like I was out of place.

"Bella, I would like you to meet Elizabeth. Elizabeth, this is Bella, my daughter, Bella," Charlie said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Hello Bella," the rigid woman with an expression that could not construct the slightest sign of a smile said. "Welcome to our home."

I knew that this was the moment where one was supposed to offer a compliment like "you have such a nice home," but instead, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. That was my payback for her lack of smile. How was I supposed to feel welcomed with the way she looked at me blankly?

We all settled down in the small dining room. Chairs scraped the floor as everyone took their seats. Edward sat beside me, as he had promised. Emily sat beside her mother and Charlie sat at the head of the table. The food was served and we all consumed it in silence.

The only noise that filled the silence was emitted from the clanking of cutleries on the ceramic plates and the thuds of glasses on the polished wooden table. My eyes drifted from my food to Edward's face, then to Charlie's direction as I picked up my glass of wine and chugged the whole liquid down my throat.

"So Bella," my head snapped to the direction of Elizabeth in shock. She, at the moment, was cutting a piece of steak with her fork and knife. Her gaze was planted on the food before her.

"Charlie tells me that you have an interesting job." Charlie shot her a glare.

Being already accustomed to mothers broaching my job with disgust, I reached for the bottle of red wine and answered. "Yes, but it's temporary. I believe I'll be getting out of it soon." I poured more wine into my glass.

"And Edward, what do you do?" Elizabeth's eyes flickered to Edward, who was about to stuff a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

"My brother and I are the owners of a company, Cullen Enterprises," Edward replied, after chewing.

Elizabeth nodded her head in appreciation, although no smile graced her lips. "So are you two planning on getting married?"

I almost choked, and I had to cough a few times to make sure the food didn't divert to my wind pipe at the question she asked.

Dinner quickly ended a few minutes after that, and I was grateful. Edward and I sat in the living room, across Charlie as we discussed matters of the brothel.

"So, this Aro guy, there's no other way we can get him to terminate the contract?" Charlie asked, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.

"No, I don't think so." My fingers were intertwined with Edward's own as I leaned against his chest.

"Do you have any information on any other illegal activities he might have engaged in that we could use as our leverage?" Charlie pulled out a cigar from his pocket with a lighter.

Edward and I watched him in fascination as he lit it and took a slow drag, before exhaling circles of smoke. I smirked at Edward, knowing exactly where my smoking habits had come from.

"I know some information. But I think the biggest threat to him is the underage girl he brought into the brothel," I said.

Charlie leaned forward with interest. "Tell me more."

"He just brought her recently. Her name is Jane and she's seventeen," I said as Charlie took out a notepad and a pen and began to jot down.

I passed on to Charlie of all the information I had acquired about Jane. I told him some extra information on Aro's other illegal dealings before we called it a night. He said he would have to gather some acquaintances to see what they could do about Aro. Then he warned me that, in the meantime, I should stay away from the brothel. Since I had no intention of returning to that rotten place, I agreed. Besides I was sure Aro won't come after me during my mourning period. He had given two to three months to mourn, and that was enough time for Charlie to dig up whatever resources he needed to keep me from going back there.

"See, dinner wasn't so bad," Edward smiled, opening the door of the car for me to get in.

"Yes, Elizabeth and Esme might as well be fighting for being the most stuck-up mother," I teased, entering the car.

He walked to the other side of the car and got into the driver's seat. "I think I actually liked Elizabeth."

I gaped at him as he started the car. "She didn't even crack a fucking smile or, at least, pretend to. She hates me."

Edward rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the parking lot of the building. "She doesn't know you enough to hate you. And she smiled when we left."

"Exactly!" I said, turning to face the road and resting my arm against the armrest. "She smiled when she knew we were leaving. She seemed very interested in you though."

"No, she did not."

"Yes, she did. She didn't even look at me when she asked me about my job, but she looked at you when she asked you."

"I have a charm most people can't get enough of." He removed his eyes from the road for a second to flash me a wink.

"Charm my ass!" I huffed.

"My favorite question was the marriage question," he chuckled. "You should have seen your face. You looked like you wanted to throw up." I smiled. "I would have almost thought that you

didn't want to marry me."

"Well, I guess you'll never know what I thought."

"Miss Swan," Edward's body curved to my direction, leaning against his armrest with an amused expression. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh my God! Mr. Cullen, are you proposing to me in a fucking car?" I folded my arms and gasped, feigning disbelief.

"Are you saying _yes_?"

"I'm saying I'm in disbelief. And here, I thought you were such a romantic. I give you too much credit."

He laughed. "Perhaps I'll know what you thought when I propose to you properly."

"Thank God, you know," I smiled. "Besides, we don't want to give your mother a heart attack," I laughed.

When we got home, Alice and Jasper were in a cozy position on the couch watching a movie in the darkness. Jasper was sitting on the couch while Alice laid against him, swathed with blankets.

"What are you dumbasses watching?" Edward asked, snatching the remote from Jasper's hand.

"Hey, you asshole, didn't they teach you any manners?" Jasper retorted.

"Hey Bella." Alice's head popped up as I dropped to the chair that Edward was sitting on.

I grabbed the popcorn from the table and put a handful in my mouth. "What's up Alice? What are we watching?" I asked, settling against Edward's chest with my eyes on the TV.

"Jasper is making me watch the first _Saw_," she replied.

Edward pulled me into his arms and I kissed him, before turning my eyes to the television. Although, I still felt the hollowness that had been drilled in my heart by my mother's death, lying in Edward's arms and being surrounded by my friends, I felt somewhat content. And maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay.

**

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Thank you for reading. Sorry for the long delay, I didn't think it would take that long. I apologize. Let me know what you think if you're still with me.


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